Snippets - and Realisations

1) Reading Aisha's fantasy story had me thinking about whether I would agree to something like that in real life. The truth is that reading it turns me on. Like a LOT. But as I said to BIKSS earlier, it would never be a reality. 

Here's my side of the chat I had with him on Skype about this:

"In my eyes, you're at the top of the food chain, so if you let anyone else evaluate me, it means you don't think you are...  and i wont accept that logic... it would be flawed.

Cos in that case, I wouldn't be YOUR girl, I'd be HIS - 'cos my Dom is going to be the best one there is.

The only way you would ever have anyone else evaluate me, would be as a teaching method.

I get a real kick from "inspection" pictures 

So if you were showing a lesser dom than you, that would mean you'd be using me, not for your own pleasure, but as an apparatus and I know you wouldn't do that 'cos that's not all I am to you.

And if I may, I would be so bold as to say that you hold me in high enough regard to render me equal in status as you, despite the fact that I am your sub. 

Our Dom/sub relationship does not signify a higher or lower value or worth of each of the individuals in that relationship - but each one is a function - a  role, not a value."

I have to say, he was very pleased with my analysis of the entire situation, and wanted me to post my thoughts on this matter. So here they are.

2) I'm watching Season 5 of Castle and it occurs to me that BIKSS is my very own Richard Castle. He even looks like Nathan Fillion - a broad face, that floppy yet every-strand-in-place hair, and they're both a little on the thick side of the body-type spectrum. 

He'd been interested in Kate forever, but was content to remain in the friend zone 'cos he preferred to be her support rather than push her into becoming anything more (since she wasn't ready) and cause her even more emotional turmoil, especially since he knows the baggage she carries. In the end she realises how much she loves him and goes to him. About bluddy time too. I had to wait 4 seasons for them to hook up!

But that whole scenario sounds awfully familiar. 

3) I'm hoping that this last snippet helps to clear something up for those Hohs / Tops / Doms who still can't quite understand why we want you to spank us. 

It's kind of like this - being spanked is a love connection - like getting kissed, or being hugged. It's as simple as that. The difference is, that every vanilla couple kisses and hugs. However, for those of us who incorporate spanking in our relationships, it is one more action that we can use to share intimacy.  When I get a super-long kiss, I know it means he loves me. When he pulls me close and hugs me tightly, I know it means he never wants to let me go. When he holds me down and spanks my bottom, I know he is committing to being responsible for nurturing and protecting me and keeping me on the right path. 

I never understood it before, when a sub writes that she presents herself to her Dom to be spanked because HE needs a re-set. I could never figure out how if HE is the one stressing over something, doing the spanking would bring him any relief. (And of course I will never truly understand this because I'll never be on the giving end of a spanking - I just don't have it in me!) 'Cos you know us spankos, if we're stressed, GETTING the spanking is the thing that helps!

However, when the worst of the most recent drama was over and we were working on a resolution, it suddenly occurred to me that despite all the feelings of "it was his fault"-ness floating about in my brain, I had the strongest urge to lay myself across his lap, offer him whatever short-range implements we had (spoon, belt, spatula) and announce that if he was really prepared to be my Dom for the long haul, then please spank me and prove it. Spank me hard, and long, and then spank me some more, because for me that seals the deal. 

Why? I wondered. Then my 'Ta - Da!' moment came. The effort that goes into a spanking and the determination to push through even when I am clearly feeling the pain (which I imagine can be difficult to some degree), is evidence of his commitment to us, the D/s part of us. Kissing and hugging and all that vanilla stuff tells me he loves me. But spanking tells me he loves me in our unique way.

In receiving a spanking I commit to being his sub - and I have expressed this sentiment often enough throughout this blog - but it is only now that I see that it is his delivering one which is the reassurance I need of his commitment to being my Dom.