The Verdict - and Be Careful How You Step

I'm still up at 3am cos this is week 2 of being homebound. I've been watching movies. And even tho I've been having to wake up at 6am on weekdays for the last 9.5 years to go to work, I'm still a night owl when left to my own devices. 

I have an interview with a school tomorrow, and another on Saturday. I have never wanted a job so badly. I don't know if it's because this is the first time that I've had to change jobs since my parents have been gone, and therefore I feel as though I've lost some kind of emotional safety net (altho to be honest I doubt they've been 'present' for a while even when they were still alive...), or whether it's because it's been a while since I've wanted to leave a job becuase it was causing me real anxiety/depression. 

There's a thing called anxiety-induced shakes - 

An anxiety-induced shake is an involuntary trembling or quivering of the muscles. It happens when stress triggers a rush of adrenaline and cortisol through your body. This "fight-or-flight" response primes your muscles for quick physical action, which can show up as shaking hands or internal vibrations.

Why It Happens-

Adrenaline Surge: Stress hormones flood your system to give you fast energy.
Muscle Tension: Muscles tighten up to get ready to run or fight, leading to tremors.
Nervous System Overload: Your sympathetic nervous system stays on high alert.

And that's how I know if I don't get out fast I'm going to be headed for my 4th episode - and I definitely do NOT want that. 

I've talked to my boss. He's no help. 

The good thing is that I've been to see my physiotherapist who was shocked that I was expected back at work this coming Monday. He was very adamant about NOT commuting on the bus because he's convinced it's going to aggravate the tear and then I'd be in even worse shape than I'm in now. 

So he sent me off with a note. I've told the boss that I'm not coming in NEXT week as well. 

He asked if I have enough medical leave to cover so many days off work. (Which I am not pleased about because my gawd I took ZERO sick days the last 2 years and can't he just make an exception? FFS, if anyone can tell Human Resources to overlook the ONE extra day I'll need, HE can!)

Anyway, I told him I'll just take that last day as unpaid leave. But that really does tell me after all this time, no matter how he's always said he needs me around (he's teased me multiple times - "don't leeeeave me!") when push comes to shove, I'm just a number on their corporate spreadsheet. 

But this also means whatever trace amount of guilt I felt at having to take a third week off work is now completely obliterated. 

He texted me to update me about the replacement staff who would be coming in to cover my shifts, she's been there last week and this week, and he asked if I'd already informed her about next week. I said no, but since he would be seeing her at work today, he can just tell her. So his update to me this evening was that she'd be ok to cover next week's shifts, but "she looked disappointed that she had to work another week". 

What did he expect me to say to that? Whatever it was, it wasn't happening. I sent him back a "K". 

1) She could have said no. 
2) If they need to find someone else that's their problem not mine. They'll just have to arrange for someone from the main branch to come over. 
3) I'm not coming back to work against medical advice just because she's not keen on taking on another week of adjunct work. 

And I'm not going to feel bad about any of this because it's not on me. 

Oh, and the verdict - 

It definitely IS a tear in the gastrocnemius muscle - likely a 50-60% (grade 2) tear in the belly of the medial head, unlikely to be the myotendinous junction, thank goodness, and the Achilles tendon itself is unaffected. There was some greenish / yellowish bruising along the medial tibial region, and medial malleolus -aka inner ankle bone. It wasn't there in the beginning and really only started showing up 2 days ago. This dependent ecchymosis seems to be a good thing, as the colour indicates that it's in the healing phase. 

Here's the explanation according to google's AI assistant : 

The Greenish Colour: This is a great sign that your body is actively healing. When blood pools under the skin, it starts out dark red or purple. After a few days, your body's immune cells break down the dead red blood cells (specifically the hemoglobin). This chemical breakdown changes the color to biliverdin (which looks green) and hemosiderin (which looks yellow or brown).

How It Works (The Gravity Effect): When you experience a significant internal injury—such as your 50-60% medial gastrocnemius tear—a substantial amount of bleeding occurs deep inside the muscle. Instead of rising straight up to the skin at the calf, the liquid blood follows the path of least resistance. Driven by gravity, it seeps downward through the spaces between muscles and connective tissues (fascial planes). It only becomes visible as a bruise once it settles close to the skin surface in a lower, "dependent" area—in your case, along the inner side of your shin bone and eventually down toward your ankle.

 

And so I have bought myself (or my torn calf muscle has) some time to get down to the business of finding a job. As soon as I get a positive response from one of the places I've applied to, I'm gonna get on the phone with HR and tell them I'm not coming back to work and "due to medical reasons" will be submitting my resignation with immediate notice. I'm likely going to have to pay them some money in lieu of the notice period, but with the leg the way it is, and my physio banning me from using any steps / ladders / stools and/or tiptoeing for the next 2 months, how am I supposed to be any use at work when that's an integral part of my day to day anyway? 

Bah, I just want this whole thing to be settled one way or the other. I really dislike having things up in the air. 

It is likely I tore my muscle climbing up because my heel was OFF the stool. So all the weight was on the ball of my foot, the ankle had space to flex, and the knee was straightened as I reached up and lifted the other leg off the floor. Those of you who climb the stairs with only the balls of your feet making contact... PLEASE take note of your knee position - keep 'em bent if you have to. Cos I know not all steps are made deep enough for us big-footed persons!

Home Bound for a Week - The Declutter Debacle

Climbed on a stool did I, did I,

Reached for my bags did I,

Down again - safely - was I, was I,

Sorted my stash did I.

Sold off a few, packed them all good

Figured I'd put back the rest

Up on my shelf, congested no more

How shall I line them up best?

Ready to climb was I, was I,

Back on the stool was I,

A handful of bags had I, had I

Grinning, with glee, was I.

With one sudden lurch I was up on my perch

Then *snap* on the back of my calf

I heard it, no, felt it? Whatever the case

My walking speed's slower by half

My boss wasn't worried not he, not he,

No tendon was torn said he,

But stay home a week will I, will I

And savour the peace will I. 

=======================

I was being productive.  My bag shelf was getting congested. I wanted to sell and/or donate a few of the ones I didn't love, so I got them all out and posted the photos on my group chats. Saturday seems a good day for such endeavours as I managed to clear out a lot of the ones that I had earmarked for said exercise. 

Extremely pleased with myself, I gathered the rest and prepared to get back up on my stool, happy that what remained were the pieces I truly wanted to keep, and that they didn't number so many that I'd end up double-rowing. This means I would now be able to see ALL of my bags at a glance instead of rummaging about to see what's BEHIND the front row. 

Only, when I lunged up onto the stool I heard a snap and felt something hit the back of my leg. It gave me a fright, to be honest. And then I felt the most crampy cramp in my calf. You know those ones that you get in the middle of the night that wake you up in a sweat and you find your foot or toes pointing in some weird position caused by a muscle spasm? Yea... that's what it felt like.

Yesterday I learnt about tennis leg : "Tennis leg is a painful tear in the inner calf muscle (usually the medial gastrocnemius). It often happens during quick movements like sudden stops, sprints, or changes of direction. People usually feel a sharp "pop" in the lower leg, like being struck or shot."

I am currently hobbling about with mum's walking stick. At least the week off will give me some reprieve from dealing with the brat at work. That's what she's proving to be - immature and defensive and a right child. I have no time for this bullshit. HR hasn't gotten back to me about any of the issues I raised previously either. And my boss is being obtuse and ignoring all the bad juju that he surely must be feeling by now. Anyway.... The job hunt continues. And I've never been happier to be stuck at home! 

That's the blue stool in the background. 

And my leg with a sleeve round it holding an icepack against my calf.

Back from The Capital

...of Malaysia that is. 

I wasn't planning on going on this recent trip, but then I was feeling greedy for some Kenny Hills so I decided to tag along on BIKSS' worktrip. He was gonna leave on a Monday, we got my ticket on the Friday prior. And I couldn't get out of work on Monday so he went ahead first, and I met up with him there later in the day.

There are other things going on in my life right now, one of which is being unhappy at work. I'm annoyed at my boss, my human resource person, and my current colleague. So I've applied to another job. Let's see how that goes. 

But for now, let me just enjoy showing you the photos of all our treats! 

Intermittent Fasting was put on hold (we'd both been at it for about a week - properly - before we left) and decided that we would just enjoy ourselves while we were away, then get back to it - properly - when we came home. The good news is, we both lost some weight before we left, and at least we're not too much over what we started with when we got back. 

We ate dinner on Monday night at a place recommended by my Uber driver. It was near our hotel, so why not?!  Broccoli and mushrooms / Roast chicken / Prawns in kam heong sauce - 

Kam Heong (Golden Fragrance) sauce is a signature Malaysian stir-fry paste known for its rich umami and aromatic profile. It is made by sautéing a base of dried shrimp, curry leaves, shallots, garlic, and chilies with Malaysian curry powder and savory sauces like oyster sauce, soy sauce, and sugar.

Then we walked back to the hotel via a 'connecting' alleyway that was lined with eateries! 

And stopped for some gelato. Good gelato. We had this in London too.. it's turned into something of a signature out-of-town ice cream treat for us.

We also bought some chocolate pieces.

The next morning I was off to Kenny Hills to pre-order my loot. Picked up some of these packaged treats for gifting (ahem... and eating...) while I was there. They promised to have my order ready for pick-up at noon the next day.

And since BIKSS loves an eclair, well...

Some of their offerings... none of these came home with me. Too fragile to travel.

These were the 3 bags I collected the day after, including some additional items that BIKSS wanted - I took him with me cos I figured there were gonna be too many boxes. Also, we tried some of the lemon drizzle loaf and banana bread later that day, and I ended up heading back there again the following day to pick up some more for BIKSS and myself to take home.

Top - marshmallow nutella brownie (so good... so, so good) 
Bottom - banana bread, slices of lemon drizzle loaf, and a scone

(There were 3 more scones in another box, don't you worry...)

I had a wander around the basement of the mall, and there were so many bakeries it was a good thing I had had lunch. There were fruit tarts, flattened croissant things (see explanation below) - and more scones!

They originated in South Korea as a viral dessert called krungji (or kurongji), which is a portmanteau of croissant and nurungji (a traditional Korean crispy scorched rice snack).

...Ok, I caved and bought some of those chocolate covered scones. Altho' I should have trusted my instincts and needn't have bothered. They weren't worth the calories! BIKSS didn't mind them tho, so I chucked them in his suitcase!

(OOTD: Black floral A-line dress with cut in top, beige slides, and blue and white tote.)

By the end of the afternoon I was ready to head back to the room. 

My last stop was a new bakery called Hot Crush: 

Hot Crush, the viral pink bakery, officially opened its first Southeast Asian outlet in Kuala Lumpur on December 20, 2025. The bakery originated as a massive hit in Shanghai, China.

Check out this instagram post for a closer look.. or watch this short - 

I wish I could tell you that I tried some of those other tarts and what not, but I didn't. BIKSS bought a chocolate egg tart on the last day and I picked one up too. But I didn't get a picture of it. I *can* say that it was delicious! I did manage to grab a pic off the internet - 

(Bottom row - middle)

I was more interested in things that would travel well, so I got a Berlin Volufra Cocoa Crispy Pretzel / Honey Pistachio Nut Bar / and an amusing receipt that tells me the Amount Of Money I paid.

Along with the pretzel and nut bars (which are really just sourdough breadsticks with nuts that are cut up on the spot as they pack up your purchase) and wellington croissants (mini beef wellingtons anyone? see pics below) I also picked up some ready-to-eat Bird's Nest and Chrysanthemum + Honeysuckle tea from a wellness/herbal remedy shop.

Signature Black Truffle Wellington Steak Croissant

- it's one of their big hits, and so I just had to try it. 

And it was so good I went back to the store the morning of our departure to pick up 4 more. They open at 12. I was in line at 12.05.. But it wasn't ready yet. Come back in an hour, they said. BIKSS came round to meet me for lunch, then we headed back up again at 1. Thankfully, this time we managed to bag our goodies, which I hand-carried (along with the Nutella brownies) onto the plane.

We had lunch at a nearby restaurant with a forest theme on one of the days and aside from the strange decor I must say the food was very decent. They had set meals which came with free flow salad (a limited selection, but still, enough to make a decent garden salad) and fruit punch. I chose the fish tacos for my main, and BIKSS had the crispy chicken burger. We were quite satisfied. There was also a tiny Tiramisu thrown in to complete the meal.

On the day we collected our stuff from Kenny Hills we had wanted to lunch there but it was full so we headed to Tabush instead which, I'm glad to say, has never disappointed. 

And this time was no exception.

We had a brinjal masala - 

also known as baingan masala, is a rich, spiced South Asian curry made with eggplant (brinjal). The eggplant is either pan-fried or simmered whole in a fragrant, thick gravy made with onions, tomatoes, ginger, garlic, and a blend of traditional ground spices.

... and another brinjal thing with minced lamb. It's called Monazala Batinjan B'Forn - 

a classic Middle Eastern eggplant and tomato casserole or stew. It typically features layers of roasted or fried eggplant, savory minced meat (lamb or beef), and a rich tomato sauce, all baked together in the oven until bubbling.

On our last night out BIKSS wanted to take me to a nice sit down dinner so we chose a steakhouse. Off we went to Corks Out, which was an easy 5-min walk from our hotel.

(OOTD: Black spaghetti maxi cotton dress with tulle overlay, a scarf that belonged to my friend's late mum, the one whose wake I spent a whole week at last month, and grey snakeskin clutch.) 

They brought the raw meats to the table in a basket and we selected the cuts we wanted, then they grilled them up. When the food arrived back at the table each cut of meat came with its own info cards.

I wasn't thrilled with the lamb ribs but the beef was VERY good.

We also had grilled napa cabbage with anchovy sauce (caesar dressing I suppose) and cheese, a pomegranate and beetroot salad, and the server brought over a trio of salts - from left to right, herbal salt made seasoned with angelica root, mushroom salt, and a smoked salt. I generally don't like salty food so after he placed the three little piles on our plates I promptly tried them each once then chucked the whole lot out. They weren't bad, I just don't like salting my food beyond whatever sauce is already on the serving plate. 

Thankfully, aside from the brown mushroom (?) sauce on the side plate, the other dips were not salty. That reddish one is a chilli-vinegar dip, and the green one is a chimichurri which I quite liked. (And in case you're wondering, yes, I generally have low blood pressure, somewhere in the 95/60 range, and it's been this way since I was young. I think it's because mum didn't use a lot of salt in her food, owing to dad's hypertension. So I just got used to eating less-salty food.)

Right, one of the last things I picked up were these Shanghainese "scones" or meat pastries. 

That carrier bag is adorable! The buns aren't too bad either LOL. 

Ji Pin He (吉品合) is a popular bakery chain originally founded in Shanghai, China, in 2008. Known for its freshly baked, flaky, and meat-filled Chinese scones (sometimes referred to as baked buns), the brand has grown to operate over 400 outlets.

They had some fun flavours. Aside from the ones here, they also had New Orleans Chicken, Chicken and Shrimp, and Black Pepper Beef - which are the flavours BIKSS chose, so I picked up one of each for him and myself. And boy did they smell awesome!

It was supposed to be a quick lunch at Kyochon Chicken before we left for the airport. We had the cheese truffle boneless bites, and the soy garlic + red hot (it wasn't hot!) boneless bites combo. In the end I was a bit disappointed. It was far from great, just edible I'd say, and it took way longer than we expected. Almost half an hour for those bits of chicken to arrive. You can be sure I'm never going back.

Founded in 1991 in South Korea, Kyochon is one of the world's most iconic Korean fried chicken chains. Famous for its signature double-frying technique and hand-brushed sauces, the brand uses antibiotic-free chicken and premium canola oil to create a crispy, less greasy finish.

And that's my foot on the plane. With my bag of beef wellingtons and brownies, and a handbag under the seat in front of me! I love having checked baggage... no overhead bins to struggle with!

And that's it! I'm curious to hear if you've tried any of the foods that I've shared here... some of these were new to me, and I think my favourite meals were at Tabush (I do love Middle Eastern cuisine) and the steakhouse (but only because it was a novel experience and the beef was really tender).

I've Reached That Age

...where most of my social life revolves around accidental reunions at funerals and wakes. 

I spent the last week visiting with a family friend at his mother's wake, there were many people I'd not seen in decades. We caught up, reminesced and made plans to keep in touch. His own family lives in Australia so it took some time for his wife and one of his sons to fly in. The other one was already here. 

He was my brother's classmate. And a lot of the fellas who came by, aside from being schoolmates, also went to the same church; people I'd known from my girlhood days when I used to play for Mass, including the original line up of musicians from when I was a wee lass of 9, legs too short, even, to reach the organ pedals. 

We were able to organise a group of 7 of us to provide the music for the funeral Mass. And even though it was a sombre occasion I must admit I had a lot of fun at our 'band' reunion. As my drummer put it "I suddenly feel 18 again". I shared that sentiment.

Conversations inadvertantly touched on medical and health problems, and despite my menopause aches and pains, I'm largely well and unscathed. 

And for that, I am immensely grateful. 

In an effort to pay it forward I've no qualms about sending out brochures and other helpful bits of info to anyone who's interested. And my, when the people you meet for the first time are all above 50, there's definitely a demand for such 'healthy lifestyle' advice! 

Funerals always leave me in a contemplative mood... so this was just me, um, contemplating. :) 

REST IN PEACE, AUNTIE D.

The Year of Thrifting (And Flipping)

The place where I work is a bit of a walk from the nearest bus stop. And since I don't drive, after we close up my boss drops us off at one of the bus stops nearby so we don't have to traipse out in the midday sun. 

Now one stop down from where we usually tumble out of his car is the Salvation Army thrift shop. I don't know why I never thought to visit the place more regularly, seeing as how it's SO convenient for me to get there. I mean, I have been there before with my ex-colleague, on occasion, and also with mum and CG1 in the pre-dementia days. 

But I think after Covid hit, all our usual haunts needed re-assessing and we kinda just forgot about it. 

Anyway I've been in there about 10x now, in the last couple of months, and come away with some good finds, both for myself and for flipping on the resale platforms. 

Let me show you my loot - 

(Bonia - sold)

(Croissant bag - sold - this was the piece that started the madness!)

Agnes B Voyage

Local brand - Batik clutch / shoulder bag

Unbranded grey clutch / $7.50 - from a different thrift store. 

Took it to BKK with me on the last trip and absolutely loved how it looked!

Keeping it!

 Balenciaga / $35 - totally keeping it!

Sachs / $16 -  I've always wanted a red leather bag! Keeping it!

(Toscano - sold)

(HdPc - sold)

 Local online brand - Batik shoulder bag

Unbranded off-white crossbody / $5 - keeping it!

So I've made about $150 so far just flipping bags. It's no hardship since the platform has a secure payment gateway and comes with a built-in courier service. The buyer pays, I get an email, I pack it up and wait for someone to come collect it from my doorstep. And in 3 days' time the cash is in my bank. 

And while I've seen many, many more bags that are new/ as good as new and in very saleable condition, I have decided that I will only buy pieces that I would be willing to pay the asking price for if I were to keep it for my own use. Because if it doesn't get sold I'm stuck with it. And I'd prefer to be stuck with a thing that I would wear at the price I paid for it. 

I've also been rooting around my room to pull out unused things that I could convert into cash. So far I've managed a few pairs of shoes / sandals, including a pair of Ferragamo heels, a pair of Swarovski earrings that were a gift but make my ears hurt cos the posts are too thick, an opened blind box from Pop Mart, and a bunch of tees, tops and dresses!

And so far, I haven't been out of pocket yet for all the pretty bags I've acquired. That has GOT to be the best way to shop! (And popping into the store is turning into an addiction!)

(Hmmm since handbags are such a personal choice, feel free to let me know in the comments which one/s appeal/s to you... it'll be interesting to compare styles!)