Stress Free Saturday

My picture was sent. The video too. I put on the radio to mask the hum of the vibrator. 

I like it when the pulses are intermittent, each time the rabbit ears buzz against my clit I get a little bit closer to orgasm. 

---

5 minutes. 

 

---

My red light mask is on. I'm lying in bed wearing a spa-wrap : a rescue from a friend who had gotten it from her friend who had shuttered her spa / salon business. 

I hear the door. 

Hello Daddy, I say as I smile under the mask. 

---

Ice cold tongue on my right nipple. A sharp intake of breath. A satisfied exhale of pent up stress. 

Now on the left. These bandeau style spa-wraps make it too easy for someone to gain access to nips. 

The bottom hem is pulled up, legs gently pushed and his tongue finds my clit at the same time his fingers enter me. 

---

An interlude. A moment of giggles. I ask if he would assist with tweezing away a couple of rogue hairs down below. 

He can't see them. His eyesight isn't what it used to be. 

"My glasses are in the car." 

He continues to lick and suck at my clit. 

I'm uneasy because a clean-shaven girl ought to be just that - clean-shaven. 

"It occurs to me that your little doesn't have to worry too much about making sure she's shaved properly cos you can't see, huh?" 

"Yup. But I can feel." 

And his face nuzzles into my crotch. 

OUCH! 

He's yanked a hair out with his teeth. 

I laugh. Giggly contagious laughter. He laughs too. 

And another! 

---

Roger is in my mouth, he finds my pussy with his finger and rams in hard. 

Each time he does I open my mouth and gasp for air. And each time I do his cock swells a little bit more. 

He reaches across to spank my left butt cheek at the same time. I jerk forward and impale my cunt farther on his fingers in time with his spanks. 

Now he holds my head in place, and fucks my mouth with his cock. 

I can't breathe. My saliva thickens with added mucus. Thank you, Gag reflex. 

I lift myself off to catch my breath, tears dropping from my eyes as I do so. I wipe them on the bed. 

Break over. He reaches for my hair and pulls my mouth down around him again.

 

My right hand cradles his balls, I use the other to twist around the base of his shaft. And I suck and lick him as I move up and down his cock. 

"Keep going, Daddy's gonna cum."

---

My mood pic today ~

Mulling - The Friday Sex Talk (and a Reminder Spanking!)

**ULTRA LONG POST ADVISORY**

We went out to dinner last night, and after a lovely meal in a quiet-ish corner of the restaurant where I ate too much I told him I realised that when I get busy and don't have time for myself (running around with errands, taking mum to check-ups, dealing with admin / mail, sorting through old photographs - another bag arrived!) it's not so much that I can't do the things I want to do, but more a case of not being able to sit with myself and mull over things. 

"I'm definitely NOT a muller," he said to me. 

Which led to a lovely exploring-each-others'-brains type of conversation in the car. I love those types of chats. 

Eventually we got to talking about how I'm the MOST turned on and tingly when he does something that asserts his power. Mostly in the bedroom, but in reality, anytime he does a Daddy type thing that pulls me back or reminds me of my place I get a bit warm and fuzzy in my belly. 

Turns out I would get more than I bargained for tonight.

Dinner was at the quiet resort-atmosphere-esque restaurant where we celebrated both our birthdays. We tried a traditional Indonesian dish of Tahu Telor, but with a local twist - a Malay spicy soy sauce instead of the usual sweet version. It was so huge. Thankfully the bottom half was all fluffly deep fried egg white!

(We had them take the dish back and sauté the prawns cos it came cold, even tho the waiter reassured us it was served warm - I can't handle cold prawns... gives me the runs! After that it was fantastic.)

With the spicy soy sauce drizzled over.

Fried chicken wings with kicap (kee-chup) manis (mah-nis) - a spicy, thick, syrupy, sweet soy sauce popular in Malay / Indonesian kitchens - comp-ed, as per their usual custom.

Salmon lemongrass - BIKSS is particularly fond of fish - and rather a stickler for having it done properly. So far he has had only good things to say about the fish mains we've had at this chain.

Instead of cake, we ordered (and paid for) a cempedak crumble. I think it might have been the best dessert I've eaten at this chain of restaurants so far. Mayhaps the overdose of free cakes might have something to do with that. I don't know how to describe cempedak to you except to say it's related to the jackfruit, but the flesh is a creamier and more fibrous texture. It's a very rich flavour, even pungent, but very sweet. 

As BIKSS prefers cake to crumble, and me the reverse, we had a difference of opinion regarding which was the better dessert! LOL. (They did still give us two slices to take home with us, and this time he took them home cos I was just up to my eyeballs in cake by now.)

When we were safely hidden away in the room, I began to undress, letting the spaghetti strap of my dress fall off my shoulder. 

"I like how that's coming off you," he remarked. And came over to assist. Soon I was in my lace panties and nothing else, sitting on the bed and facing his crotch. He undid his jeans and freed Roger from his shorts. I immediately began sucking. 

As we had been discussing how power and dominance turns me on earlier, he took the opportunity to ramp up his Daddy Dom game. Gentle caresses were abandoned in favour of sudden nipple pinches. Hair stroking for neck grabbing. Kissing for slaps across my cheek. 

My legs were spread and held open, his fingers playing with my clit, then pussy. And one finger found its way into my bum hole. I mean, yes, I had been thinking about it recently, but most of the time he'll check with me if I'm having a 'good' bum day. 

Not this night tho. 

After some time of being lost in the sensations down below he asked me if he thought I could handle Roger. I said yes. And he got the lube. 

Anal sex isn't pleasurable for me physically. It doesn't hurt if I'm in a receptive enough state. But it's nowhere near pleasurable. More like tolerable. I do it because it's the one thing I can offer him that isn't "good" or "okay" or "neutral" to me. It's a bit to the left of neutral, creeping into the "dislike" zone. 

And when I'm giving him something I don't like, that makes me feel very submissive. 

After cleaning up we talked about the spectrum of our sexual encounters, from plain ol' / simple all the way to phenomenal, and where our different adventures lie on a scale of 0 to 10. 

We also talked about what was something that I "didn't like" that I could offer as a form of submission, on par with the act of offering anal, but that would still let him fuck pussy instead of butt (cos he still prefers that, in terms of physical sensations). Somehow topics like threesomes and 2-couple/partner-swapping sex came up and as he presented these scenarios to me he started fiddling with me again. 

When we had sex this time around it seemed like he might not cum, having had one quite soon before, but when I proposed my own scenario... 

"What if you were watching someone else fuck me the way you are now... seeing his cock thrusting into my pussy like that..."

...he stuck his thumb in my mouth and I sucked it hard.

He countered with "Maybe I won't be just watching, I would fuck your mouth, and you would suck on Roger just like that." (BTW, dirty talk isn't something we do often, I feel kinda strange doing it TBH... but it felt right at that point.)

That must have done something for him cos he came, sweaty and panting after prolonged exertion. 

We talked about why it wouldn't be possible for me to enjoy something like that tho'. The conclusion I came to was that I wouldn't be able to manage switching between little (which I reserve ONLY for BIKSS) and controlling bitch (which is how I've always been with all other sex partners). And that would cause a problem because I refuse to be a sub for another man, but it's not as if I can be domineering and such to a fella my Dom is directing me to fuck right? And even if he said I could be as sassy and dommy as I wanted, it would be weird being that way in bed with the fella while still taking instruction (as a little) from Daddy who's watching from the sidelines, no?

As he mm-hmm-ed his agreement with my analysis, BIKSS turned on his side and reached for my pussy. Without thinking (possibly cos part of my brain was in bitch mode) I swatted his hand away. And not in that playful Don't, Daddy way either. He told me later he was rather taken aback that I did that. He reacted by smacking my inner thigh immediately with a pretty stern "What was that?" I did say "Sorry Daddy", but I think it was an automatic reflex. I don't think anything was registering in my brain. I sure as hell didn't MEAN it.

Then he smacked me again. "Hm? What was that? Swatting my hand away?"  If he had left it there - which he said he actually thought was enough to jolt me back to the present - I think I would have started a fight cos I was still in default sass-bitch headspace. But he didn't. He pushed my legs apart and held my face in place with the arm that was under me, then continued smacking my inner thighs, alternating between sides, sometimes doubling up on the same side, just to keep me guessing, I suppose. 

In the calmest, smoothest voice he spoke into my ear. "Someone's forgotten her place, hm? You're Daddy's little girl, don't you forget it. You don't swat my hand away. What was that about? Daddy's girl doesn't do that. Right? No. She doesn't slap my hand away when I reach for her."

All through his litany he was smacking. And finally I felt it. And it hurt! Funny I didn't feel it till now. The sting was coming through, breaking into my thoughts and consciousness. I realised *then* what I had done. But it wasn't till he was almost at the end of the smacking that I apologised again. And meant it this time. 

(He did say a large part of the continuation after the first two smacks was just going along with the scene, but that maybe 10-20% of it was genuine "chastisement". I told him it was a good thing he went on.  If I were to hazard a guess I don't think BIKSS was aware of just how serious/significant that little episode was to me until I told him either.) 

When he was done spanking me I put my legs together and turned towards him, burying my face in his chest. He held me and comforted me. I didn't know what had come over me, but that spanking was definitely a good call. My thighs continued stinging for some time after that, let me tell you.

Earlier in the evening I had asked if we could play with the cane... he said yes but instead of doing so BEFORE the sex, it seems he intended that our cane session would come at the end. Cos he wanted to do that NOW. 

"Ready for your cane?"

Looking up at him, I shook my head, no. 

"4 stripes." 

"Wait wait wait!" 

He chortled.

"Why are you laughing Daddy?"

"Cos you suddenly sounded so desperate and alarmed."

That's when I said "I think I'm feeling a bit fragile about what just happened to play with the cane right now. What was that about, the smacking my inner thighs?" 

"A reminder. Reset. You were lost in your old self. It wasn't a punishment. I just needed to pull you back." 

"I know. But that's cos you were talking about having me be with other people, and you know how I used to be with the others ...  so it's your fault!" 

"It is. And I will accept the blame for that."

And he kissed me and rubbed my back, and held me tight some more. We talked and I said all the things I needed to say and asked all the things I needed to ask. When I was eventually done working out what happened, I thanked him for the spanking. He checked if I was feeling ok. Yes, I said. 

"I think you can get the cane now, I could do with a proper reset."

He got up to get it as I turned over to lie on my front. 

Tap tap tap tap Swish... and it went on like that till he had gotten in the 4 strokes he had promised. Then he said "6."

So he continued the tappety taps with intermittent proper swishes in between till he reached the number he wanted.

Then he stopped. And he came to lie down and hold me tight. 

Later, as he was about to get up to get dressed he picked up the cane again, it had been placed beside me so his hand found it easily enough, and proceeded to swat my inner thighs with it. 

It wasn't a spanking session per se, we were just experimenting with it. It felt really good. And probably way more efficient than a traditional ass spanking, imho. I get an ouchier (and more lingering) sting from a much lighter stroke on my thigh than from a heavier one on my butt.

"You know, of all the toys, the cane really IS my favourite." 

My mood pic today ~

Rules, Rituals, Protocols... Let's Call the Whole Thing... TTWD

It has been too many years since we had an actual discussion about our roles and why we do the thing we do, what it means to us, how our actions translate to meaning in our heads. 

I am glad that after just a day of exploring this topic I'm less muddled than I was yesterday.  

When I read BDSM or D/s websites about rules and rituals my thoughts yoyo from "that's unnecessary and obvious" to "he wants her to do WHAT now? That's WAY out!" 

But I also recognise that there is no one size fits all when it comes to TTWD, and what works for some won't work for others. And what works for us is also always changing... or something we propose doesn't 'take'... till later on, or never.  LOL

What are you saying, girl?

I'm sorry, as is often the case I try to gather my thoughts WHILE I'm writing and sometimes it doesn't bode well for the reader. 

So we now have plan, and it may be because life situations are different, or experiences have been had, or years have passed, but as I said to BIKSS, maybe it just took me 9 years to be ready for Daddy Rules (and rituals, and protocols, and commands... and whatever else you may call them). 

The Good Morning Text (Recently resurrected)

What does the morning text do for us? It reinforces our roles, and it makes him happy to see my messages waiting for him when he wakes up. (He looks forward to seeing it every morning -first thing he checks, he says.) It puts me in a more tethered space, and helps me focus on US because a lot of the time after a long period of not seeing each other my brain goes off on a tangent and I start to doubt and worry and, well... you know what I mean. Knowing that I'm doing something that pleases him reassures me in some kind of reverse psychology way that he's still keen on me, on us. 

It lets him know that I'm up and about - this is possibly more relevant on weekends as I sometimes REALLY sleep in. Plus - it immediately lets him know if anything is up with me - eg. if I didn't wake up on time, was I unwell? Or if I was feeling under the weather or needed to get to a doctor this would be a good time to let him know and he would have gotten a heads up early in the day.  

The Good Night Text (never explicitly talked about because it came about very organically)

We use our own special made up word and the exchange follows a pretty standard 'form' with stickers and emojis... and our final sign off is the same without fail every single night. I must say, I do love our goodnight ritual.

Kiss Daddy's Hand (Already in place)

Whenever he comes by to pick me up, I get into the car and kiss his hand. It started out as a way to greet him, affectionately, since it's not always possible to lean over and kiss him properly as he's driving off. Of course, if the car is still stationary after I'm belted up then I DO kiss him on the lips. But I enjoy kissing his hand. For him, it's a sign of my affection, an emotional connection. 

For me, it's reverence. His hand is the seat of his power. It spanks me, holds me, comforts me, peels away my layers, supports me and protects my heart. His hand, to me, is all of him. All that he does, and all that he is to me.

Report all cums and Send a pic as far as possible (Recently resurrected)

Why? Cos he can. It's ownership, he says. Cos he wants to know when I play with his pussy. Even tho he's not physically present when I masturbate, he wants to know he's part of the process since I will be thinking of him when I take a pic and also when I'm reporting it after. But we did agree that the pic isn't compulsory. 

And when will it NOT be possible? LOL. I'm glad I negotiated this bit, and quite elegantly IMO, as I have been known to be desperate enough to employ a water spray at my workplace loo to satisfy a craving. And when it's the time of the month and I don't want to dirty my toys, the shower is a wonderful place to get myself off - I have a shower head with an adjustable spray. The perfect clean-as-you-cum system! These would not be opportune times to take a picture as I am quite paranoid of dropping my phone into inconvenient wet zones, if you know what I mean.

Oh, also, he says cos he's pervy and he enjoys seeing pics of my pussy.

This one seems to be all for him. What do I get out of it? Knowing that I'm submitting to his desires. And that's good enough for me. 

(In the same vein, I will also report / send a pic each time I play with an insertable ie. plug or dildo.)

Single-word-commands (Already in place) 

These have been around since the dawn of time and are instinctive and automatic. I don't think, I just do. 

Spread (legs, obviously... in bed, in the car, wherever, and whenever)

Present (all fours, head down, arms stretched above my head... in private only)

Strip (self-explanatory)

Turn (usually from a supine to prone position if we're in bed, but sometimes after a shower so that he can dry my hair *giggle*)

Kneel (is it blowjob time??? Hurray!)

As far as submission goes, the single-word-command has pride of place for me. It never fails to remind me of our roles. 

My mood pic today ~

Submission Friday - Pussy Spanking / Slapping

After the week of stress with the mother and other stupid people in general, I was happy to hear that BIKSS had gotten the car back from the workshop. This meant we'd have a little more freedom in planning our date. He was also going to be off from work a little earlier than usual, so we could meet ahead of the usual time. 

We decided to take advantage of the extra time we had to catch dinner (quick simple meal at Long John Silver's) AND a movie. I wanted to watch the latest WW84 movie so we ended up getting tickets for a couple seat (which is usually situated at the very back of the theatre) at a cinema that's pretty out of the way and not very popular. There was a total of 8 people in the cinema! 

I enjoyed the film more than BIKSS did I think, but then that's because I think it gives women a sense of what would happen if we could be strong like her and didn't have to put up with the cat-calls and harassment we get from guys from the time we're old enough to be a blip on their radar. It gets tiring having to ignore and walk past idiots who think telling a female stranger 

you're pretty, 

what's the hurry, slow down babe, 

you should let your hair down, 

hey give us a smile,  

is perfectly ok and that we should be thankful that they bother to even notice us. Argh. Can we teach boys to stop this please?

After the movie we came back to my place, and as I'm on my period (yay finally a 28 day regular cycle!) we thought (ok, I thought) it would just be a night of warm comfy cuddling. 

BOY was I wrong. BIKSS was trying to hug me without touching all the "sexy" bits, and I teased him about it, saying that I appreciated how he was very careful to place his arm across me without going too low and hitting my butt / groin, but not too high that he ends up resting on my boobs. He tends to stay away from danger zones that might get me turned on during my bleed so as not to get me horny because we can't have sex. And, again, I do appreciate it heaps.

But somehow while talking about it he ended up on my nipple and immediately my brain switched gears and I thought, as a sub I really ought to let him do whatever he wishes regardless of whether I could have sex or not. And it felt really good so I let out a moan. He was encouraged by that. "You're being a mean daddy..." And I think he switched gears too, cos the next thing he said was "Uh-huh. I am. You can't have sex right now, but you can give Daddy a blowjob."

That made me groan more and my tummy started to flip. He carried on stroking thru my pjs and after some time snuck his hand under my shirt to fiddle with me skin on skin. Of course part of the turn on was that it felt good being stroked and twiddled, tweaked and pinched, but a larger part I think was knowing that I was submitting. And if you know me at all you'll know that submission is a huge turn on for me. (Isn't that the case for many of us?)

So then I told him what I was thinking. And he understood completely. And suddenly knowing that he knew, as he proceeded to turn on his Dom even more (you know, more pain, more grabbing, more holding me in place), it made me turn into complete mush and jello inside. That was an extra layer of turn-on for me, submitting is one thing, but knowing that he knew I was doing so for him, for his pleasure, as a form of obedience was mega huge to my submissive brain. And knowing that he was 'taking' whatever he wanted, I mean, talk about making sure I was horny. 

He held my head close to him, he kissed and fondled, he grabbed my hair to hold my head in place so he could kiss me hard. At one point he held my mouth open by placing a thumb to the side of my mouth - I could have closed it, but I recognise the signal, that's what he wanted. Control. And I gave it. 

His hand moved downwards towards my pussy (I'm wearing a pad FYI) and even when we HAVE played during my period in the past he'd stay clear of my girly bits. Not this time. He stroked me through my underwear and then started spanking between my legs. Oh man. I know I had extra protection, but it's not like my clit couldn't feel anything. And he did this for an extended period of time. I was going crazy with want. And a little frustrated at not being able to fuck. 

By this time I was holding Roger in my hand and working my fingers all over and up and down his cock, he responded with his own moans of pleasure. Every time he slapped my pussy and I twitched, he seemed to get harder. It went on longer than I thought it would, usually by this time I'd have suggested putting Roger in my mouth. But I let him lead. I let him decide the pace. I let him. 

He stopped spanking my cunt and went back to kissing me and pinching my tits. And then he took his pants off so I had full access to his cock and balls. But still no blowjob. He started spanking me again, with two hands this time. It was insane. Pain, pleasure, submission, all the feels. 

Eventually he thought it was about time I gave Roger a proper seeing to with my mouth. I rushed down towards his crotch and he chuckled. "She can't wait to escape and save her nipples" he commented. 

"No, that's not it, I know you can still reach my tits when I'm giving you a blowjob, but at least my pussy will be safe from the spankings... And Daddy has been waiting a long time for my mouth to be on Roger, so that's why I was quick about it."

The usual hot towel clean up followed his cum, along with fetching him some drinking water.

And the rest of the cuddley evening was spent in a wonderful submissive glow. 

"Good girl," he said, for the umpteenth time that evening, kissing me as he held me close to him. 

My mood pic today ~

 

Why We Weren't Having Sex and Maybe We Can Get Past It

Remember how I said I got emo the other night? First of all, opening up the mailbox and finding all your comments with such lovely words really touched me. I'm so so grateful for the cyberfriendships I have with all of you. 

Well the good news is that after all the blubbering, and trust me, there was blubbering that night, BIKSS came over on Monday night after his Zoom course (some office thing) even tho it was already past 9, and we had a lovely (almost normal) evening together. 

Here's the funny thing tho, it was just the ONE tiny detail, but it mattered A LOT.

If you go away with nothing else after my post, remember this - Talk about the things that may seem ludicrous and stupid in your head. It might seem dumb and inconsequential, but sometimes it really does all just boil down to that one silly little thing. 

You wanna know what I said during that blubbering session? It may seem weird and unrelated, but I think one of the reasons we weren't doing the deed is cos BIKSS has been flopping down the wrong way on my bed. Like this. 

LOL. Let me explain.

Things that have changed recently : - 

1-Less frequent meetups so longer talk-time during face to face dates. 

2-Less texting cos I've been busier at my work (and attending to the mother in the afternoons or taking her out) and he's been busier at his new job. So more talking when we DO meet up (plus refer to point 1).

3-Less time at home to talk cos it's just weird for me to drag BIKSS into the room and hang out with him from 7 to midnight when the mum is RIGHT OUTSIDE in the living room. I live in an apartment, so it would seem funny. Like, oh hi mum, look who's here, don't mind us, we're just going to disappear into the room now. So, um, yeah. We ALWAYS eat out these days, whereas in the past we would eat at home, and the talking could start during dinner.

4-I mean, it's not that we don't talk during dinner when we eat out. BUT. It's harder to talk about... you know, intimate things, or play (touch, tease) with each other when out in public so there has been a significant reduction in talking about those kinds of things and connecting in that way. In order to dive into the fun / naughty / intimate talk and play, we would have to wait till we got home, which is about 2 hours later than pre-mother days (and pre-Covid days, for that matter). 

5-According to BIKSS, because I'm so talky-talky (see points 1 and 2), when we DO get to escape into the room and be alone again, he feels like he needs to let me get all the talking out of my system and tell him all the stories and share with him all my news. It's kinda our thing. The "Oh you know what happened? Guess what I learnt? You won't believe what I saw! " and all that. 

6-Also,when he used to come over for dinner at my place, I would have showered before he arrived. Now that we eat out, I need 15 mins extra for a shower when we get home. It's a thing. I can't come home and NOT shower. 

7-Now with the blood sugar issue, we typically also have to watch the clock so that at the 1.5-hour mark we can do a finger-prick test. This makes it hard for us to get down to any boogie-ing cos no one enjoys a mid-fuck finger-prick right? 

8-The result : when we get home after dinner, because we have to watch the clock... and he has to wait for me to shower... and he wants to let me finish telling him about all the goings-on of my last-few-days,  because of all that (I assume he feels since there is some "waiting" to do), he tends to come into the room and flop ACROSS the bed, and not lie down the right way up. This makes it difficult for me to lie down with him and cuddle, as I'm terribly uncomfortable lying down across the bed (I mean, it's not like I have a king-sized setup or anything). So I typically sit cross-legged on the bed and face him while he sprawls. On his back. Facing the ceiling. Feet on the floor. Now how am I supposed to cuddle into that? I could lie on my back the same way but then we'd BOTH be looking at the ceiling. And I can't curl up into him lying on my side cos our shapes don't fit.

And before you all go screaming about why don't I just tell him, well here's the newsflash. I HAVE. A MILLION TIMES. HE KNOWS I HATE IT WHEN HE FLOPS ACROSS THE BED LIKE THAT. BECAUSE IT MEANS WE CAN'T CUDDLE!

Ahem. I didn't mean to scream with the caps. I apologise. Anyway...

What all this means is that our "let's cuddle and be intimate and that will get me into the mood" time is considerably shortened. I would have had a shower, come back to the room, waited for the right time to poke him and get his blood sugar reading (sometimes its finger poke THEN shower) - all this while not cuddling or hugging or touching because the man is lying down wrong.

And because he's a boy, he'll just attack my pussy or tits *whilst* we're talking - ok he's not talking, he does it when *I'M* talking - and that kinda makes me feel like a piece of meat, and no girl thinks that's romantic. I mean, I'm sitting up. You're lying on your back in bed. And I'm regaling you with stories of my day while we wait for 1030 so I can poke your finger, and your idea of getting romantic is to fiddle with my tit?  So according to him, when he's initiated sex I've brushed him off and told him no. Well, ok. I suppose I have... perhaps instinctively even cos I don't actually remember doing so, but really, in my defence it's very piece-of-meat-esque. And again, this is not NEWS - I've told him before that it's a trigger (emotional baggage yada yada but it is what it is.. blame 18 year old me and the first boyfriend). 

Add getting-older-stupid-hormones to the equation, and you have a good idea why I think we're doomed to never have sex again. 

*****BUT*****

I know he's been making an effort - Zoom course means he can detour here for a bit after class, and on Monday the first thing he did when he got here was get into Daddy mode. I think it's been missing for a bit, or just not as obvious.

When he arrived I handed him a thing that I wasn't using that he said he could use at work, and said jokingly that it was the kind of gift littles give their daddies. He said "You know what else littles can give their daddies... a kiss. Right here." And we puckered up and got all kissy-kissy. 

So I asked him all about his day and as he got into bed ("Look, see? I'm lying down the right way even.") he told me about his course and we chatted and cuddled and kissed and hugged and it was so so absolutely delicious that we could touch each other in all the right ways while still being able to talk about our day. 

It's a lot easier to get into the mood when we're both the right way up!

I am also happy to announce that we had a yummy romp that evening. And everything flowed just the way it was supposed to. *Wink* 

Talking and Accidental Waffles

Yes accidental. 

We went to a new Jap place for dinner. The pics looked ok, so we thought, hey why not. PLUS one of the items on their menu was chicken and waffles. You all know about me and chicken and waffles, so of course I was sold. At 30% off it was definitely worth trying out. I say again, this discount-restaurant-reservation app is awesome for exploring new places. 

The battered prawns looked promising so BIKSS decided we would have that. 

Sadly, when it arrived we both looked at the dish and weren't sure if we should laugh or cry. 

I don't know if you can tell, but it was a tiny plate with even tinier prawns. That's a regular credit-card sized card. Meaning to say, the plate was small. And I could have fit at least 8 prawns on that card. That's how tiny the prawns were. And that's with the shell on. And battered. I can't imagine just how miniscule they'd be if they were naked. SHUDDER. It tasted ok tho. So um, yeah, thank goodness we didn't pay 10 bucks for them. 

The rest of dinner was much better. We also got a salad which was refreshing, cold, and tasted great with just the right amount of tangy, sweet and umami. 

Then came the main event - Chicken and Waffles, served with either a wasabi mayo or maple syrup. We often see it only accompanied by syrup so we thought we'd try the mayo for a proper savoury version. It's not a huge dinner-plate-sized waffle so portion wise it was perfect for us. (I forgot the mayo so after we attacked half of it I re-assembled the remaining half and added the saucer of mayo LOL). 

Did I like it? Yes. BIKSS enjoyed the chicken more than the waffle. He liked the flavour, but not the texture, so much, he said.

I liked the karaage chicken well enough, but that waffle was delish! Enough crisp to last right up to the last bite, yet just dense / chewy enough on the inside. The hokkaido milk they used added to the overall fragrance and egginess too, I thought. 

It was so good that midway through our savoury waffle I told BIKSS we should try their sweet version. So we ordered a plain butter/syrup waffle for dessert :) 

I like that the waffles come in small servings. Which makes it a little bit pricey, but at least it's good - the worst thing is having unsatisfying food! 

After dinner we went to sit at the beach for a bit, cos I needed to get all the yucky stuff in my brain out into the open. 

We talked, and I told him all the things I needed to let out. Mind you, it's not anything that he did or didn't do, or nothing that was his fault. 

I was just feeling bad about some stuff - I think it's just the place I'm in right now - and I guess I needed to let him know. It was a good talk, he held me, (Mission Bear Hug accomplished!) and kissed me and wrapped me up in the Daddy Cave that I was missing. 

And now he's gone on a family holiday - which I'm not feeling bad about at all - so I can hunker down and finish this course. 

But I'm glad we got to have that talk last night. 

And waffles. I'm glad we got waffles. 

Running To Him - Or Running Away?

During post-sex cuddles is typically when we have a lot of space to explore our thoughts - or BIKSS has time to probe into my brain and I have time to float about in there and think about the past, myself, growth, fears and anything else that requires good strong emotional scaffolding before one goes diving into potentially murky reservoirs of memories and dredging up things that sometimes should remain sunk and buried. 

So the most recent chat we had of this nature was about how I was grateful for all the safety nets, harnesses, ladders and air mattresses that he has surrounded me with as I navigated this relationship with him. 

In the past whenever a partner reacted negatively to something I did / said, I made a mental note of never sharing it with my other half again. This, you can imagine, is detrimental for downline relationship building. I internalised all the criticisms and believed I wasn't enough - not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, slim enough, cool enough. It just stacked up one after another. 

The result of all this is that sometimes when I'm faced with uncertainty /sadness /doubt /fear or anything that one would usually think of running TOWARDS a partner with (for sharing, or because one needed comforting, presumably) I would, instead, tuck it far away inside me, or sometimes haul the dark cloud over my shoulder and run in the opposite direction. 

This has no doubt led to many misunderstandings - when one can tell a friend something that one cannot tell a boyfriend, and that friend happens to be a guy, the boyfriend is BOUND to get suspicious. 

I could call a spade a spade and say "When I tell John about it he doesn't judge me and I feel as if you blame ME for everything that goes wrong in my life - which makes me feel small and unworthy." But I've tried that and it only leads to more problems. 

The thing is, I should have just WALKED AWAY.  It's not that I shouldn't try and solve problems and work out issues. What it is is that I should have known when it wasn't possible to have a reasonable conversation with someone and that the person I was in love with was flawed and incapable of communicating rationally.

If I could go back in time and teach myself a lesson, this would be it. 

So anyway it only took forever for BIKSS to peel away those layers and teach me that I could trust him NOT to diss me. And for that I'm grateful. It feels fantastic to be able to take anything I'm feeling and run TO him with it, instead of away from him. More than the love, or more than the kink, more than the DDlg, I appreciate him for being my safe space.

Then comes the next part. I sometimes browse through my dating app, just to see what's out there. 

Would I go on dates? Yes. I have before. Is BIKSS fine with it? He is. We both know the day will come when we will be no more. 

Am I gunning for a new beau? No. But I'm open to meeting someone, either to be exclusive with, eventually, or as part of an open relationship... I'm not sure. But we're fluid that way, for now at least. 

So I said to BIKSS that this ability for me to come to him with EVERYTHING, is either going to make it REALLY easy for the next chap in that he won't have to do the peeling of all those gunky fucked up layers, cos it's already done! OR it's going to be really hard for the next guy I date cos I think at the slightest hint of being made to feel the way my ex-es made me feel, I would turn around and give him my "Now look here, I don't deserve this" speech. 

The up side is that I'm better equipped to deal with assholes now.  The down side - it's gonna be tough finding someone who can scaffold as well as BIKSS can. 

It's constant aftercare for my psyche.

Wham Bam - Let's hang out at my place

Part 1 - This is the Wham Bam bit....

BIKSS arrived early. I hadn't done the laundry. I hadn't showered. I was supposed to have gotten all of that sorted before he showed up. But who's complaining right? 

After I whirlwind-ed around the home putting everything away and getting all the chores done, I stepped into the shower and shoved him into the room to wait for me. 

The a/c was on so he hung out there cooling down from having been out in the afternoon heat. When I got into the room I pulled out two packages. The people who have been sending me toys to review had delivered another two. I've had so little time to play with BIKSS that they've been sitting unopened in my wardrobe for about 3 weeks now. Don't ask. It's a sad state of affairs when one gets free vibes but hasn't got the time to rip open the packages to play with them.  

Anyway we take everything out and oooh and aaah at the vibrators but decide that the dual penetration one might NOT be a great idea since I was having some stomach trouble recently. We decided on the Paloqueth Thrusting Silicone Rabbit Vibrator. 

I'm not going to do the review right now tho, and if you carry on reading you'll know why. 

After we cleaned it up and took a brief look at the manual (to see how to work the buttons) I climbed into bed and bemaoned the fact that BIKSS was still clothed! I mean, it's been SOOOOOO long since we had any play time, and he's mucking about with his jeans still on? 

I'm naked for goodness' sake. 

So there he is, taking his clothes off and as he frees Roger I lean forward to suck on him. Now this was no ordinary tease and lick. This was a Let-me-at-em Scrappy do style attack. It had been such a long time since I had him in my mouth that if I had to describe the way I went for his cock the only word I could use would be "greedily". I know how cliched that sounds, but believe me, I plunged my mouth on that cock so quickly even BIKSS was a little bit shocked. He made some "uff" sounds, cos, I'm assuming, it felt good for him, but I bet there was a little bit of surprise in there too. 

There was no subtlety, no variation, just good old fashioned in-and-out sucking. He grabbed my hair, wrapped one hand around my neck, played with my nipples, pinched, pulled... 

"I want cock, daddy."

And cock I got. 

That new vibrator? It lay untouched by the side. Ah well, maybe next time we'll be able to play with that. 

Part 2 - Let's hang out at my place.

These last few months that the niece has been here I've tried to minimise the number of occasions that BIKSS comes round and bumps into her. It's not like she doesn't know, I mean, I've told her. And she doesn't really care. I just kinda feel weird having a man in the house - in my room - while she's pottering about outside. Somehow if she were holed up in a guest room in some other part of the house I don't think it would be as weird. But seeing as how she's camping out in the living room, I just figured it'd be less awkward for everyone if we didn't go at it like bunnies with the youngling in the house. 

So anyway, she's met BIKSS multiple times before and knows him as uncle Bob. Some time ago as we were having one of our heart to hearts I told her that we were involved. She was having some sort of "Am I weird for being different /thinking differently /doing things other people don't do" type of crisis. I'm simplifying, but suffice it to say that I thought that sharing this secret part of my life might help her see that the normal, straight-laced, prescribed lives that she assumes everyone around her was living may not be quite the whole picture. 

I know the kind of person she is, so I also knew that she wouldn't freak out or anything. 

Anyway, after that Lebanese dinner on Friday night, I told him that my tummy was unhappy and of if only we could just hang out at home till it was time to meet my food-rescue friend to pick up some stuff from him. Thing is, usually the niece is gone home by then. But this weekend she was going to stay the whole weekend cos she had some event on Saturday and felt it was a waste of time to travel to and fro so she decided not to make the weekend trip home.

"Then let's hang out at home" he said. 

And really, I couldn't think of any reason why not, especially since it was "legit" -we had time to kill and I wasn't feeling great. 

So that's what we did. I texted the niece in advance saying my tummy was icky and we had time to kill, so don't be alarmed (and put on some shorts) cos uncle Bob was with me and we were coming home to hang out for a bit before heading out to meet the food-rescue dude (whom she has also met). 

I also said we'd just hang out in my room so we'll be out of her way. Turns out she didn't even get the texts cos she was in the shower the whole time. When we got home she was just coming out of the bathroom and I announced that uncle Bob was with me, and did she see my texts? She said no, but oh hi! Then went about doing her own shit. 

I think it was a non-event for her. And it probably bugged me WAY more than it did her. I can thank this annoying habit I have called overthinking. 

And after that I felt a little bit silly. 

Backscratchers are a Pain - on the Backside

I haven't had a chance to add the backscratcher in question to the definitions (and toy menu) page. But it is nasty. I actually pouted (yes me!) when BIKSS took it out of the toy drawer. 

He thinks it's amusing that the string it was hanging from looks like rope tying a person's arms above their head. Pffft. Here's a close-up - 

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

There were some errands to be run and we got home at 5-ish. 

No one was in. And we were glad to have the opportunity for some spanking time. It's been a long time since any fun's been had in that department - or in ANY D/s department for that matter. 

It began in the car, really. He dropped me off at the store, so I could pick up some stuff, while he went to get something done. About an hour later he was done and so was I. He came by to pick me up and as I was climbing into the passenger seat I asked where we were headed to next. "Home," he said... "you're gonna get fucked." 

It's been some time since we've had this kind of forceful talk, especially since my emotional state is a little fragile at the moment, given the family situation, and dirty sexy talk is the last thing on my mind. But perhaps that's exactly why I needed some of it today. And I welcomed it. 

He was lying in bed when I got in from the shower, and he motioned for me to come over so we could kiss. I did, and then he rolled out of bed and headed to the toy drawer. I flopped onto my belly to watch him and as he walked past me Roger ended up in my mouth. It felt so good to suck on his already-hard cock. Eventually he made it to his destination and pulled out the backscratcher (yuck), cane and flogger. I 'Yay'-ed at the latter two. 

Then he came round behind me and got to work. He got straight into it with his hands. Spanking, rubbing, fondling, caressing. I drifted into a magical place and forgot all about life for a little while. Then crack came that wretched thing on my butt. 

It's hard, heavy and unforgiving. (Sorry, no Oxford commas in this house!)

And I began to breathe a little heavier. He reassured me with a hand on my back. Up high, almost at my neck. Shhhh... but still he smacked. I twitched and started, and shifted and wriggled. But not too much cos I didn't want that thing landing in the wrong place. He stroked my back and rubbed my shoulders as I winced and whined. And let out moans and groans - not entirely of the encouraging variety. 

When it landed with a thud next to me on the bed I let out a sigh of relief. The rest of the spanking went splendidly. He could never go wrong with the cane and my 'favourite flogger' . I don't know about you but I love roving spanking sessions. As in, not static. As in, I lie on my front, and he roves around me, spanking me from this side and then the other, from over my head, with Roger in my mouth, from behind me with one hand exploring my girly parts. 

Today his explorations took him to my butthole. His initial penetration (I'm not sure which digit he used) didn't even require any lube. I suppose I was wet (and open / ready / willing / horny) enough that whatever juices I was already producing were enough for him to gain access. 

This is unusual for me. But not unheard of. It usually happens when I'm feeling very, very submissive. And/or horny. Today I was both. 

He dug out my Purple Pieman vibe from the drawer and proceeded to place it under me, against my clit, and that got me wriggling all over again. But it was a weird position and no orgasm was going to be had that way. So he had me flip over onto my back. 

But for some reason it just didn't feel right, and I don't know if it's because 1) there was just too much stimulation already that things were getting numb down there from the extended vibing while I was face-down, 2) the pushing of fingers into both my holes was interfering with the vibe-on-clit pressure, or 3) it's been too long since I used it and had weaned myself off this particular vibe. 

So I asked him for the other one. The Paloqueth "sucking" vibrator.

He obliged. And after a while, with my bottom hole still penetrated and finger-fucked, I had the orgasm that was way too long coming. Pun totally intended. 

After that I was totally drained. But damn if I wasn't going to get that fucking he promised me. He took his shirt off and got between my legs. I was sensitive enough that an accidental brush against my just-cum clit elicited a howl out of me. He seemed quite pleased about that. 

After he had had his turn at a cum he got up to go to the dresser for operation clean up (tissues are on the dresser) and I lifted up my hands in the BIKSS-and-Fondles mutually understood gesture for "can I have tissues please?" and he passed me a wad which I used to mop up the mess between my legs, and then raised my hands for more. Only today I did all this with my eyes closed cos I was just THAT tired. 

When he got back into bed I told him as much, adding how "it feels awesome to cum with a finger up your arse, and I don't even have a prostate!"

"You didn't cum with a finger up your arse", he corrected me. 

"Eh?"

"You came with TWO." 

The Hand that Spanks

When the man spanks, he uses his hand.
Or hands, or belt, or any one of our ma-
ny spanking toys.

When the man spanked last night, this bare-
ly spanked butt was red and glowing.

When the hand spanked, this girl, knowing,
that time had passed since her last encounter
would surely mean, her cheeks would burn,
she wriggled, and turned. And the man spanked.

The hand that spanked, was warm and a-glow.
How did she know? He stroked her. Rubbed her.
With the hand that spanked. Warm on her skin,
it swept all over causing knots within

...her tummy. Sexy-time knots. Lustful knots.
The same ones he got - only his in his crotch.

Not her. Hers ended right there in the middle.
It felt like her guts were the strings on a fiddle.
Being stopped, and bowed across, in turn and all at once.

But the man that spanked, his hands being done,
finally did undress his self. She could feel her bum,
under her, warm and tingling. It had begun.

Her spirit come home, to the man, to the hand, that spanked.

unpluggedfromsociety.tumblr.com

The Stressful Day and a Massage Post-Mortem

Remember how I said if everything went to plan on Friday we would both have a chance to do THIS? Here's how my day actually went before we could get to the FUN PART of the evening:

Well, the father fell in the morning and now has a fractured nose. 

The mother rang me and was in a panic but there were other thinking adults in the house at the time and they managed to get an ambulance to take him to the hospital. 

He is recuperating and there doesn't seem to be major issues, thankfully. I mean, which geriatric falls and breaks just his nose? I'm so super thankful it wasn't anything serious like a hip or back or something that would leave him unable to ambulate.

I was looking at the fone all thru work, as the caregiver and mum were giving me updates of what was going on in the emergency room. I then zoomed down to the hospital to visit with the father after knock-off time. He was in a neck brace and looked a bit weak, but other than that, he was content to sleep through the pain drugs. 

I returned home for an afternoon class - which caused me no small amount of stress because the student's piano exam date and time clashes with her school physics exam! I had to then get the process of rescheduling the ABRSM exam started. I was in email-town for the next 30 mins.  

Anyway, that done, I received a text to head down to the caregiver agency because they wanted me to pick up some documents and the helper's work licence. Um, ok, BIKSS was going to swing by and get me in the evening, so we planned to make a detour on our way to dinner. Easy enough. Right? Wrong. 

He texted to say that there would be a delay at his work because some TV people were going to come in to do a recce of his office. Apparently they're using his workplace as a location for some local programme. 

Oh, well, no rush. I had this last quiz to get sorted on my course, which I figured would take me to about 7pm, so I figured I'd just get that out of the way then. Wait! Oh fuck. I suddenly rememebered that the agency closes at 8. Right. Let me just put all that away already. I put on some pants,  grabbed my bag and... 

It was pouring. I hadn't even noticed. Socks and shoes it is. Flip-flops were no good in this rain! 

Brolly in hand, and toes nicely bundled, I headed out to take a bus to the agency. 

Thankfully I got there in time, did whatever was necessary, and just as I was finishing BIKSS sent a text to say that he was on the way back from the office. Finally! Something's going right :)

He got me from the carpark and we ate some fried chicken at a nearby fastfood place, then headed home where we had a shower and began to really get into the mood for our massages. 

We put down a towel and sheets (just in case, I mean, who knows what might happen right? And besides... I didn't want to get massage oil on my bedclothes!) and I sorted out the diffuser while BIKSS was in charge of getting some massage music on his fone - Youtube is awesome! 

And before long we were discussing who would go first because well, neither one of us was looking forward to getting revved up only to have to wait another half hour for the other person to get massaged! LOL. 

In the end I went first. I lay on my front and he proceeded to rub some oil on my upper back, then worked his way down towards my butt and legs. It was more relaxing than I expected, perhaps because I had the rush-about of the day to contrast it with. 

His strokes were long, slow, and firm. Perfect for a sensual, relaxing rub-down. After some time he had me turn onto my back and proceeded to rub my shoulders, breasts (staying away from the nipples) and tummy. Working his way down he briefly rubbed along the inguen and then went to work on my hips and thighs and lower leg. 

On the way back up, ah-hah! That's where it gets interesting. It was time for some punani attention now! It was heavenly. All that rubbing and kneading and pressing and cupping! Strangely, when he inserted his thumb and pressed down (and held it there for 5 seconds, because that's what one tutorial said to do) I didn't feel like it was sexual at ALL. Like AT ALL. It was comforting, and stress-relieving. And BIKSS was totally un-sexual about the whole affair. It really was a therapeutic session all in all. 

After some time he had me back on my front in doggy position as he massaged around my seat, butt, hips, and anus. And then rubbed and pulled on my outer and inner lips, and even on the clit. Again, there were exciting sensations but the mood was definitely not sexual. He told me later that he was indeed trying to keep it professional, and I must say he did a good job. He was also surprised that I gave nary a twitch when he inserted his thumb / finger into my vagina. 

If anything, his attentive ministrations on my genital area elicited nothing but deep breaths and sighs from me, involuntary of course... which was really effective in helping me let go of all the pent-up worry and stress! 

I don't know if the massage had anything to do with it, but the next day I visited the toilet twice - which was great since I had been feeling a little bit constipated (I had a couple of difficult poops) during the week.

They say yoni massage helps to clear blockages and release toxins - maybe there is some truth to it after all. One website actually listed weight-loss as a benefit. If only it were that easy! I shall have BIKSS perform another massage at a later date and see if I get the same result poop-wise! 

In the meantime, have a look at this website - (they call it Karsai Nei Tsang but it's essentially the same practice) - where there's a picture of how your genitals are connected with the rest of your body. I mean, I've heard of foot reflexology, but genital reflexology? 

I don't like getting my feet pressed cos it's uncomfortable for me, even though I personally know many people (friends and family) who book foot reflexology sessions on a regular basis. But if there is any truth to this genital refloxology lark, I might have found an alternative I could definitely go for!

And after all that, did I have a cum? No. I didn't feel like I wanted / needed one. I was just overcome by this immense feeling of contentment. Which set us both up perfectly for the lingam massage that came next... but I'll save that for a later post.