The Sweetest Thing He Did

We're back. And I'll put up pics once I've sorted them all out. 

All I will say for now is that it was HOT AS FUCK. Whoever said Chiang Mai had cool weather was lying. 

Also, maybe it's because we weren't up in the mountains doing village tribe things. We were in the old city. But then, SPECIFY if you mean the MOUNTAINS are cool. Anyway. 

The airport at Bangkok was an absolute mess. They didn't have separate queues for the different flight numbers so every mother's child was queueing in the same line. For the 3.30 flight, the 4.40 flight, and the 5.45 flight, far as I could tell (from the grumbling all around us). I'm sure there were passengers from other flights too. 

We were told there was a shorter queue for e-checkins. So I logged into the portal and did an e-checkin while we were in the queue. Great. Done. But even tho our booking was made together the seats allocated to us were 21C and 37C. Could we change seats to be seated together, I asked the lady walking up and down the line. She said yes, but you still had to queue in the e-checkin line. But we have no bags to tag. We just need our seats changed. Sorry. Same line. 

BIKSS went up to the service desk to ask if we could get our seats changed there instead of waiting behind the 25 people (many of whom seemed to be moving house, judging by the amount of luggage they had) who were waiting to get their bags tagged - no, same line, she told him. 

I was VERY pissy. 

BIKSS was annoyed too but he held it together way better than I did. 

In the end I told him if we got there and they said the flight was full and there were no seats available together I was going to have a fit.

When we eventually got to the counter, the guy changed our seats for us post haste and we managed to get to the gate on time. But before we left the counter I saw BIKSS' fone. He had his browser open to the Google translate page. And it said "Suffers from anxiety" with the accompanying translation in Thai. 

That was him being prepared to throw a medical reason into the conversation in the event they said there were no seats available. I have the meds to prove it too. I just thought it was really sweet he wasn't going to just say, well, we tried, and accept our fate.

And truth is, I don't make a fuss for no reason. But when you encourage your customers to do something you gotta make it beneficial to them too. There's no point telling us to e-checkin if we're all gonna have to queue and get new seats anyway because your system is too dumb to assign seats together for all the passengers in the same booking. They had a page showing the names of all the people who booked together and you had to check off who was here and ready to check in. So we ticked both our names and e-checked in together. Wouldn't it be logical that we'd wanna sit together?

We did the same thing on our outbound flight, and had no problems at all. Seats were allocated side by side and boarding passes printed. Then we went straight to the gate. THAT'S what's supposed to happen, Bangkok. Sheesh.

Ok, well, rant over. 

I'm back and it's as hot here as it was there and everyone is dying from the heat. 

But otherwise, we're all safe and sound. 

Bought some 1-for-1 chips today. The first time I tried this I was in Sydney. It was different from what I was used to, but not all bad. Now that we have them here, and they're on discount, why not right? 

So I guess things are back to normal. 

What Just Happened?

I met BIKSS and gave him a couple of rescued angry bird stuffies to add to the two already in his car. I kept Chuck (yellow one) for myself. It's looking at me judgingly from its vantage point atop a note block right now as I'm typing on the lappy.

We drove off to dinner, happy that the bird heads have a new home. They were gonna get tossed out so I told my friend I'd take them. Then I sprayed acohol on them and wiped them down with a damp cloth then I dry-cleaned them on a high heat setting in my dryer. (Thank you Woolite!)

Dinner was at a little out of the way place that we found a while ago. It's in the middle of an industrial area and after work hours it's bluddy deserted. It's also not easily accessible by public transport and there are NO malls or residential estates nearby, so you can imagine the restaurant is close to deserted at dinner time. 

We had their Crackling Pork Belly top left (melts in your mouth, skin was super crispy, served with mustard which is not how Asians usually do it - it's very likely a leftover from when we were under British rule), Prawn Cakes bottom middle - fluffy and tasty on the inside, lightly breaded and crispy on the outside, Ngoh Hiang bottom left which is a bunch of meat (and sometimes liver) cooked in 5 spice seasoning and wrapped in beancurd skin then fried, and because one of the veggies didn't turn out right they swapped that dish out for some chicken wings top right. 

(That's one of the blues sitting in the back of BIKSS' car)

And now we come to the point of this evening's post. See that bowl of pickled red cabbage with the wings? 

It's delicious. I was munching on the stuff like there was no tomorrow and then I dropped a strand. When I looked down I noticed it hadn't fallen on the floor, but landed on my sandal strap instead.

I gleefully picked it up and stuck it in front of BIKSS' face saying "Do you think I ..." and I meant to say ... I could eat this since it didn't fall on the floor? But BIKSS said YES, throw it away before I could finish my sentence.

Now, evidently he thought I was gonna ask if I should chuck it. But when he said YES I moved it towards my mouth. And then we both realised what had happened. 

I tried explaining that it hadn't fallen on the floor, that it was on my strap, that it wasn't even on the toe or front strap, but on the ankle strap, and that was relatively clean right? And he kept saying, "Put it down, throw it away. Now. Put it down. You're not eating that." 

"Why? But it didn't fall onto the floor!" 

"I know, throw it out. You're not eating that. Chuck it out."

"It fell on my strap! Isn't that ok? Why is that bad?"

"It's dirty, throw it away."

"But why? Tell me why..."

"Five... four.... three..."

"I'll throw it away but you have to tell me why... "

"Two..."

"OK OK! But you have to explain it!"

He hasn't had to countdown in a LONG LONG TIME. 

I managed to get him down to ONE before I finally dropped it on my plate. 

And then I said, "There, I chucked it. But you have to explain why it's not OK to eat it!"

"Cos when you walk you kick up lots of sand and shit and you don't know what lands up on your shoe straps, yes even ankle straps, and so you're not putting that in your mouth."

"Mm, ok. I hadn't thought of that. I accept your explanation." 

Then I picked up another one and continued snacking on my pickled cabbage strips. 

The thing is, it amused me that he was so worried I was gonna put it in my mouth. And he'd be right. I'm strange that way, I'm told. I totally would have :D

Stress Free Saturday

My picture was sent. The video too. I put on the radio to mask the hum of the vibrator. 

I like it when the pulses are intermittent, each time the rabbit ears buzz against my clit I get a little bit closer to orgasm. 

---

5 minutes. 

 

---

My red light mask is on. I'm lying in bed wearing a spa-wrap : a rescue from a friend who had gotten it from her friend who had shuttered her spa / salon business. 

I hear the door. 

Hello Daddy, I say as I smile under the mask. 

---

Ice cold tongue on my right nipple. A sharp intake of breath. A satisfied exhale of pent up stress. 

Now on the left. These bandeau style spa-wraps make it too easy for someone to gain access to nips. 

The bottom hem is pulled up, legs gently pushed and his tongue finds my clit at the same time his fingers enter me. 

---

An interlude. A moment of giggles. I ask if he would assist with tweezing away a couple of rogue hairs down below. 

He can't see them. His eyesight isn't what it used to be. 

"My glasses are in the car." 

He continues to lick and suck at my clit. 

I'm uneasy because a clean-shaven girl ought to be just that - clean-shaven. 

"It occurs to me that your little doesn't have to worry too much about making sure she's shaved properly cos you can't see, huh?" 

"Yup. But I can feel." 

And his face nuzzles into my crotch. 

OUCH! 

He's yanked a hair out with his teeth. 

I laugh. Giggly contagious laughter. He laughs too. 

And another! 

---

Roger is in my mouth, he finds my pussy with his finger and rams in hard. 

Each time he does I open my mouth and gasp for air. And each time I do his cock swells a little bit more. 

He reaches across to spank my left butt cheek at the same time. I jerk forward and impale my cunt farther on his fingers in time with his spanks. 

Now he holds my head in place, and fucks my mouth with his cock. 

I can't breathe. My saliva thickens with added mucus. Thank you, Gag reflex. 

I lift myself off to catch my breath, tears dropping from my eyes as I do so. I wipe them on the bed. 

Break over. He reaches for my hair and pulls my mouth down around him again.

 

My right hand cradles his balls, I use the other to twist around the base of his shaft. And I suck and lick him as I move up and down his cock. 

"Keep going, Daddy's gonna cum."

---

My mood pic today ~

Teacher's Day Dinner

Not really, more like our usual Friday night dinner, it just happened to be the day that our schools celebrate Teacher's Day here. 

I had a lousy week so BIKSS gave me the option of selecting our dinner venue, or we could drive around and / or try a new restaurant if I wanted to, he said. But what I really wanted was some place nice, not noisy, and reliable, so that's how we ended up at the same place we had our Christmas dinner last year. We haven't been back there since. So I thought it would be a nice treat, even though it's a little bit pricier than the places we usually go and I don't particularly like spending too much money on dinners for no reason. 

I'm glad it didn't disappoint. 

It was a very cauliflowery affair - 

Butter-Roasted Cauliflower with Parmesan and Hazelnut Pesto

So good. SO SO Good. 

Cauliflower ‘Wings’ with BBQ Sriracha Dip

(I had him ask for ketchup cos I'm not a BBQ sauce fan)

Even gooder than the first cauliflower dish. They really know their cauliflower, is all I can say.

I also wanted a Sautéed Tuscan Kale with Baby Spinach & Garlic cos I thought it sounded yummy...

I took a mouthful and proclaimed it "not nice". He laughed and replied "Guess I'll be having lots of kale tonight!"

It needed some flavour. I dumped some ketchup over a portion that I dragged to my plate and it was kinda edible after that. 

 Our main was Roasted Barramundi with Potato Galette & Seaweed Butter

Which is the same thing we had the last time we were here! They do good barramundi :) 

The best part of dinner? I could be little. Adulting has been hard this week, and there was SO MUCH adulting to do. 

At one point he said don't play with your cutlery and I whined Oh leave me be, I've been adulting all week! I did change back to using my knife and fork the proper way tho. 

I also attempted to pour more water into my glass and he reached over and took over the bottle, doing it for me instead. "Why? I can pour!" His reply - Enough adulting for one week. 

Hokay, if you insist! I'm not going to argue with that! 

I realise our dynamic is always still there, in varying amounts depending on the situation, but it's always there. And I like that it's become part of us, all the time, instead of something that we have to think about or call attention to, or make special effort to employ. 

After that we did some deliveries (I passed some spare boxes of disposable masks to a friend who is part of an outreach group helping migrant worker communities, then dropped off a vase at a friend's place) and then BIKSS bought me some yummy donuts and we headed home. 

~~~

While we were kissing I stopped and asked him what was in his brain at that very moment. And he replied, "Nothing, just kiss her, and well, TONGUE!!!" 

I laughed. Cos what was in my brain was I wonder what's in his brain, or in a guy's brain, when they're kissing and stuff, cos Roger's hard and he's clearly turned on, and I'm taking a while to get there, but then, if I'm thinking all sorts of nonsense like I am now then of COURSE I'm not gonna be able to get where I wanna get.

He got down to serious turning-on business after that and my brain wasn't thinking about nonsense no more. There was definitely something going on between my legs... and his fingers didn't take long to figure that out. 

I would even say he proceeded to show me he meant business when he slipped his finger(s) in and manipulated my pussy with a vengeance!

That'll teach me to go off and think when I'm supposed to be engaging in foreplay LOL. 

My mood pic today ~ 

(Yep, this is how I was wielding my cutlery! LOL)

Dinner and When You Can't Have Sex 'Cos #Period

Now that I'm done with my A-Z challenge, it's back to regular posts from me. 

A week ago we went for dinner at a neighbourhood coffee shop. BIKSS was craving some Zhi Char (literally means 'cook fry') veggies, and we decided to head back to the cheap dim sum place we discovered a couple of months ago. 

We had stir fried sweet potato leaves (with a chilli + dried shrimp paste aka 'sambal') 

and some cream corn prawns - this one was new to me, according to the lady it's their special. 

I won't lie, it wasn't spectacular, but I love prawns *shrug* so as far as I was concerned, it was fantastic. 

Since we were there, we had dim sum too.

And then we went to buy some stuff and went home. 

And obviously *I* didn't get any sexy playtime... well, puss didn't. 

But I managed some bonding time with Roger. It went splendidly as usual... and then we cuddled. 

The fun part tho, is after. 

I believe it was getting close to the time that BIKSS should get going and as we cuddled his hands roamed over me. He got hold of a boob and stroked my nipple. I nuzzled into his neck. Encouraged, he found the other boob. 

"Mean Daddy" I said, because usually he'll leave me alone after a quick fondle when I'm on my period and unable to fuck, 'cos getting me hot and bothered would be mean. And he's not usually mean. 

"Mm hmmm. I am," he replied. 

Eh? That's NOT the right answer, I thought to myself as he went back to twiddling the first nipple. I inadvertently let out a moan and that was the end of that. 

According to him (he told me later on), Roger got all excited when I made those groany moany sounds, and he decided that if he couldn't play in my pussy, well then, he could just play in my mouth.

"Cos why not? I own it after all; it's mine, you're mine."

Ugh. Great. 

So he did - knelt over me and fucked my mouth till the tears dropped from the sides of my eyes just as his cum slid down my throat. 

And for some reason the submission quotient was really high and suddenly I just knew I needed some serious aftercare. Even saying it now sounds weird to me, given there was no pinching, no choking, no spanking, no pain - NO PAIN AT ALL! ... all the things that normally send me into subby subby land. 

BIKSS held me tight and I clung to him in a way I think neither of us was expecting me to. He's good at sensing these things, thank goodness, and kissed my head and stroked my hair and whispered all the good girls I needed to hear. 

It's strange that something so seemingly 'mild' could trigger such strong feelings of submission. It was surprising and unexpected, but it did leave a smile on my face as I drifted off to sleep that night. 

My mood pic today ~ 

Pleasantly Surprised

Females. Girls. Women. We might be living in the safest, most modern of cities, it could be night or day, there may be a crowd or it could be secluded. But one thing is pretty universal - no matter how old or young we are, wherever we are, if there's a dude just loitering by his lonesome we walk a little farther away, we quicken our pace, we look down and pretend not to notice him. 

At least I do. It's the way things are over here. I mean if a guy is walking along, doing stuff, or standing by a bin having a smoke, or taking a breather with a drink in his hand / eating a sandwich,  I would probably just continue on as normal. I'm talking about the blokes who are just standing there in the middle of nowhere and seemingly not doing anything. Those I make it a point to steer clear of.

Which is why when BIKSS came to get me with a brolly, I walked hurriedly away instead of towards him.

Let me explain. 

He drove me to a friend's place for a pick up (I do that food rescue thing remember?) and the carpark is a slight distance away from her block of flats. There is another building that I need walk through to get to hers, and I thought it best to just zip in and out, while BIKSS waited in the car. It had been drizzling on and off all evening and he asked if  I would like him to do the pick up instead. I said no thanks, after all he had already taken the trouble to drive me over there. 

So he said ok, and that he'd wait in the carpark.

Off I went and got my things. As I was heading back to the car the rain had gotten heavier, but I didn't know this as I was under shelter. 

As I came out into the open area I saw a rather large-ish fella hanging around the walkway with an umbrella. It was dark but I could see the car so I made to dash as quickly as I could towards it, adjusting my route so that I walked on the farthest side of him as possible, given whatever space there was.

Only to be accosted by Daddy who had gotten out to wait for me with a brolly so that I wouldn't have to take the 10 steps to the car in the rain. It wasn't pouring mind you, and it was light enough that I wouldn't have used a brolly even if I had one on me. 

But here he was, ready to shelter me back to the car cos it had started to rain. 

And I thought that was the sweetest thing ever!

He, on the other hand, was baffled by my behaviour. He wondered why I was walking so quickly and where I going, cos I seem to have altered course! LOL. 

This led to a lively chat. About how as women we tend to adjust our walk to keep a "safer" distance from certain men, about how when we get into a lift it's reassuring if the lone fella in there takes a step away as if to say "Here, I'll give you more personal space", about how when a guy gets into a lift if we're there first, whether they might get offended if WE moved farther away from the door. And about how all these things aren't formally taught, but get passed down from one generation to the next.

And conversely, those who have NO manners at all and won't even budge when you get into the lift,  guy OR girl!

What do you think? Have you found yourself moving out of a guy's way, or if you're a guy, how have you felt when a woman moved farther away from you... did you feel offended?

I saw this on FB and thought it made a lot of sense. What do you think?

(And there is no mood pic today cos I'm being pensive and reflecting on what he ^ said.)

Mulling - The Friday Sex Talk (and a Reminder Spanking!)

**ULTRA LONG POST ADVISORY**

We went out to dinner last night, and after a lovely meal in a quiet-ish corner of the restaurant where I ate too much I told him I realised that when I get busy and don't have time for myself (running around with errands, taking mum to check-ups, dealing with admin / mail, sorting through old photographs - another bag arrived!) it's not so much that I can't do the things I want to do, but more a case of not being able to sit with myself and mull over things. 

"I'm definitely NOT a muller," he said to me. 

Which led to a lovely exploring-each-others'-brains type of conversation in the car. I love those types of chats. 

Eventually we got to talking about how I'm the MOST turned on and tingly when he does something that asserts his power. Mostly in the bedroom, but in reality, anytime he does a Daddy type thing that pulls me back or reminds me of my place I get a bit warm and fuzzy in my belly. 

Turns out I would get more than I bargained for tonight.

Dinner was at the quiet resort-atmosphere-esque restaurant where we celebrated both our birthdays. We tried a traditional Indonesian dish of Tahu Telor, but with a local twist - a Malay spicy soy sauce instead of the usual sweet version. It was so huge. Thankfully the bottom half was all fluffly deep fried egg white!

(We had them take the dish back and sauté the prawns cos it came cold, even tho the waiter reassured us it was served warm - I can't handle cold prawns... gives me the runs! After that it was fantastic.)

With the spicy soy sauce drizzled over.

Fried chicken wings with kicap (kee-chup) manis (mah-nis) - a spicy, thick, syrupy, sweet soy sauce popular in Malay / Indonesian kitchens - comp-ed, as per their usual custom.

Salmon lemongrass - BIKSS is particularly fond of fish - and rather a stickler for having it done properly. So far he has had only good things to say about the fish mains we've had at this chain.

Instead of cake, we ordered (and paid for) a cempedak crumble. I think it might have been the best dessert I've eaten at this chain of restaurants so far. Mayhaps the overdose of free cakes might have something to do with that. I don't know how to describe cempedak to you except to say it's related to the jackfruit, but the flesh is a creamier and more fibrous texture. It's a very rich flavour, even pungent, but very sweet. 

As BIKSS prefers cake to crumble, and me the reverse, we had a difference of opinion regarding which was the better dessert! LOL. (They did still give us two slices to take home with us, and this time he took them home cos I was just up to my eyeballs in cake by now.)

When we were safely hidden away in the room, I began to undress, letting the spaghetti strap of my dress fall off my shoulder. 

"I like how that's coming off you," he remarked. And came over to assist. Soon I was in my lace panties and nothing else, sitting on the bed and facing his crotch. He undid his jeans and freed Roger from his shorts. I immediately began sucking. 

As we had been discussing how power and dominance turns me on earlier, he took the opportunity to ramp up his Daddy Dom game. Gentle caresses were abandoned in favour of sudden nipple pinches. Hair stroking for neck grabbing. Kissing for slaps across my cheek. 

My legs were spread and held open, his fingers playing with my clit, then pussy. And one finger found its way into my bum hole. I mean, yes, I had been thinking about it recently, but most of the time he'll check with me if I'm having a 'good' bum day. 

Not this night tho. 

After some time of being lost in the sensations down below he asked me if he thought I could handle Roger. I said yes. And he got the lube. 

Anal sex isn't pleasurable for me physically. It doesn't hurt if I'm in a receptive enough state. But it's nowhere near pleasurable. More like tolerable. I do it because it's the one thing I can offer him that isn't "good" or "okay" or "neutral" to me. It's a bit to the left of neutral, creeping into the "dislike" zone. 

And when I'm giving him something I don't like, that makes me feel very submissive. 

After cleaning up we talked about the spectrum of our sexual encounters, from plain ol' / simple all the way to phenomenal, and where our different adventures lie on a scale of 0 to 10. 

We also talked about what was something that I "didn't like" that I could offer as a form of submission, on par with the act of offering anal, but that would still let him fuck pussy instead of butt (cos he still prefers that, in terms of physical sensations). Somehow topics like threesomes and 2-couple/partner-swapping sex came up and as he presented these scenarios to me he started fiddling with me again. 

When we had sex this time around it seemed like he might not cum, having had one quite soon before, but when I proposed my own scenario... 

"What if you were watching someone else fuck me the way you are now... seeing his cock thrusting into my pussy like that..."

...he stuck his thumb in my mouth and I sucked it hard.

He countered with "Maybe I won't be just watching, I would fuck your mouth, and you would suck on Roger just like that." (BTW, dirty talk isn't something we do often, I feel kinda strange doing it TBH... but it felt right at that point.)

That must have done something for him cos he came, sweaty and panting after prolonged exertion. 

We talked about why it wouldn't be possible for me to enjoy something like that tho'. The conclusion I came to was that I wouldn't be able to manage switching between little (which I reserve ONLY for BIKSS) and controlling bitch (which is how I've always been with all other sex partners). And that would cause a problem because I refuse to be a sub for another man, but it's not as if I can be domineering and such to a fella my Dom is directing me to fuck right? And even if he said I could be as sassy and dommy as I wanted, it would be weird being that way in bed with the fella while still taking instruction (as a little) from Daddy who's watching from the sidelines, no?

As he mm-hmm-ed his agreement with my analysis, BIKSS turned on his side and reached for my pussy. Without thinking (possibly cos part of my brain was in bitch mode) I swatted his hand away. And not in that playful Don't, Daddy way either. He told me later he was rather taken aback that I did that. He reacted by smacking my inner thigh immediately with a pretty stern "What was that?" I did say "Sorry Daddy", but I think it was an automatic reflex. I don't think anything was registering in my brain. I sure as hell didn't MEAN it.

Then he smacked me again. "Hm? What was that? Swatting my hand away?"  If he had left it there - which he said he actually thought was enough to jolt me back to the present - I think I would have started a fight cos I was still in default sass-bitch headspace. But he didn't. He pushed my legs apart and held my face in place with the arm that was under me, then continued smacking my inner thighs, alternating between sides, sometimes doubling up on the same side, just to keep me guessing, I suppose. 

In the calmest, smoothest voice he spoke into my ear. "Someone's forgotten her place, hm? You're Daddy's little girl, don't you forget it. You don't swat my hand away. What was that about? Daddy's girl doesn't do that. Right? No. She doesn't slap my hand away when I reach for her."

All through his litany he was smacking. And finally I felt it. And it hurt! Funny I didn't feel it till now. The sting was coming through, breaking into my thoughts and consciousness. I realised *then* what I had done. But it wasn't till he was almost at the end of the smacking that I apologised again. And meant it this time. 

(He did say a large part of the continuation after the first two smacks was just going along with the scene, but that maybe 10-20% of it was genuine "chastisement". I told him it was a good thing he went on.  If I were to hazard a guess I don't think BIKSS was aware of just how serious/significant that little episode was to me until I told him either.) 

When he was done spanking me I put my legs together and turned towards him, burying my face in his chest. He held me and comforted me. I didn't know what had come over me, but that spanking was definitely a good call. My thighs continued stinging for some time after that, let me tell you.

Earlier in the evening I had asked if we could play with the cane... he said yes but instead of doing so BEFORE the sex, it seems he intended that our cane session would come at the end. Cos he wanted to do that NOW. 

"Ready for your cane?"

Looking up at him, I shook my head, no. 

"4 stripes." 

"Wait wait wait!" 

He chortled.

"Why are you laughing Daddy?"

"Cos you suddenly sounded so desperate and alarmed."

That's when I said "I think I'm feeling a bit fragile about what just happened to play with the cane right now. What was that about, the smacking my inner thighs?" 

"A reminder. Reset. You were lost in your old self. It wasn't a punishment. I just needed to pull you back." 

"I know. But that's cos you were talking about having me be with other people, and you know how I used to be with the others ...  so it's your fault!" 

"It is. And I will accept the blame for that."

And he kissed me and rubbed my back, and held me tight some more. We talked and I said all the things I needed to say and asked all the things I needed to ask. When I was eventually done working out what happened, I thanked him for the spanking. He checked if I was feeling ok. Yes, I said. 

"I think you can get the cane now, I could do with a proper reset."

He got up to get it as I turned over to lie on my front. 

Tap tap tap tap Swish... and it went on like that till he had gotten in the 4 strokes he had promised. Then he said "6."

So he continued the tappety taps with intermittent proper swishes in between till he reached the number he wanted.

Then he stopped. And he came to lie down and hold me tight. 

Later, as he was about to get up to get dressed he picked up the cane again, it had been placed beside me so his hand found it easily enough, and proceeded to swat my inner thighs with it. 

It wasn't a spanking session per se, we were just experimenting with it. It felt really good. And probably way more efficient than a traditional ass spanking, imho. I get an ouchier (and more lingering) sting from a much lighter stroke on my thigh than from a heavier one on my butt.

"You know, of all the toys, the cane really IS my favourite." 

My mood pic today ~

Rules, Rituals, Protocols... Let's Call the Whole Thing... TTWD

It has been too many years since we had an actual discussion about our roles and why we do the thing we do, what it means to us, how our actions translate to meaning in our heads. 

I am glad that after just a day of exploring this topic I'm less muddled than I was yesterday.  

When I read BDSM or D/s websites about rules and rituals my thoughts yoyo from "that's unnecessary and obvious" to "he wants her to do WHAT now? That's WAY out!" 

But I also recognise that there is no one size fits all when it comes to TTWD, and what works for some won't work for others. And what works for us is also always changing... or something we propose doesn't 'take'... till later on, or never.  LOL

What are you saying, girl?

I'm sorry, as is often the case I try to gather my thoughts WHILE I'm writing and sometimes it doesn't bode well for the reader. 

So we now have plan, and it may be because life situations are different, or experiences have been had, or years have passed, but as I said to BIKSS, maybe it just took me 9 years to be ready for Daddy Rules (and rituals, and protocols, and commands... and whatever else you may call them). 

The Good Morning Text (Recently resurrected)

What does the morning text do for us? It reinforces our roles, and it makes him happy to see my messages waiting for him when he wakes up. (He looks forward to seeing it every morning -first thing he checks, he says.) It puts me in a more tethered space, and helps me focus on US because a lot of the time after a long period of not seeing each other my brain goes off on a tangent and I start to doubt and worry and, well... you know what I mean. Knowing that I'm doing something that pleases him reassures me in some kind of reverse psychology way that he's still keen on me, on us. 

It lets him know that I'm up and about - this is possibly more relevant on weekends as I sometimes REALLY sleep in. Plus - it immediately lets him know if anything is up with me - eg. if I didn't wake up on time, was I unwell? Or if I was feeling under the weather or needed to get to a doctor this would be a good time to let him know and he would have gotten a heads up early in the day.  

The Good Night Text (never explicitly talked about because it came about very organically)

We use our own special made up word and the exchange follows a pretty standard 'form' with stickers and emojis... and our final sign off is the same without fail every single night. I must say, I do love our goodnight ritual.

Kiss Daddy's Hand (Already in place)

Whenever he comes by to pick me up, I get into the car and kiss his hand. It started out as a way to greet him, affectionately, since it's not always possible to lean over and kiss him properly as he's driving off. Of course, if the car is still stationary after I'm belted up then I DO kiss him on the lips. But I enjoy kissing his hand. For him, it's a sign of my affection, an emotional connection. 

For me, it's reverence. His hand is the seat of his power. It spanks me, holds me, comforts me, peels away my layers, supports me and protects my heart. His hand, to me, is all of him. All that he does, and all that he is to me.

Report all cums and Send a pic as far as possible (Recently resurrected)

Why? Cos he can. It's ownership, he says. Cos he wants to know when I play with his pussy. Even tho he's not physically present when I masturbate, he wants to know he's part of the process since I will be thinking of him when I take a pic and also when I'm reporting it after. But we did agree that the pic isn't compulsory. 

And when will it NOT be possible? LOL. I'm glad I negotiated this bit, and quite elegantly IMO, as I have been known to be desperate enough to employ a water spray at my workplace loo to satisfy a craving. And when it's the time of the month and I don't want to dirty my toys, the shower is a wonderful place to get myself off - I have a shower head with an adjustable spray. The perfect clean-as-you-cum system! These would not be opportune times to take a picture as I am quite paranoid of dropping my phone into inconvenient wet zones, if you know what I mean.

Oh, also, he says cos he's pervy and he enjoys seeing pics of my pussy.

This one seems to be all for him. What do I get out of it? Knowing that I'm submitting to his desires. And that's good enough for me. 

(In the same vein, I will also report / send a pic each time I play with an insertable ie. plug or dildo.)

Single-word-commands (Already in place) 

These have been around since the dawn of time and are instinctive and automatic. I don't think, I just do. 

Spread (legs, obviously... in bed, in the car, wherever, and whenever)

Present (all fours, head down, arms stretched above my head... in private only)

Strip (self-explanatory)

Turn (usually from a supine to prone position if we're in bed, but sometimes after a shower so that he can dry my hair *giggle*)

Kneel (is it blowjob time??? Hurray!)

As far as submission goes, the single-word-command has pride of place for me. It never fails to remind me of our roles. 

My mood pic today ~

The One Day I Got Horny (2)

PART ONE IS HERE


He fucked me with his fingers, good and proper, and it's a good thing I was already bent over double treating myself to his cock in my mouth, for with the amount of slamming into me he was doing, I surely wouldn't have been able to keep myself upright anyway. 

This went on too long. I wanted his cock in my pussy. Like NOW.  I couldn't wait. But I was already way too needy this evening so I told myself to be patient. He was hard. Had been suffering an erection for a while now. He would be eager to fuck soon anyway. Any moment now. But the man made no move to proceed to the main event. His fingers left my cunt and teased my lips. I was empty and even more desperate for a good fucking now. 

Oh for fuck's sake - I mean, literally! Enough was enough. I let Roger out of my mouth and sat up. He saw the hunger in my eyes. And he teased me with a twinkle in his.

"Little girl wanna get fucked now huh?" 

I swear he loves doing this. He finds too much pleasure in seeing that look on my face. The look that tells him I'm begging for him to fuck me. 

"Yes please." 

"On your back." 

Thank goodness he never denies me when I make such a request. Only, sometimes he makes me ask him with my words. 

"Tell me. Tell me what you want me to do."

And I feel so self-conscious, but I say it anyway. I have to. "Will you fuck me now please?"

But this time I'm spared. 

And Oh Sweet Jellybeans. He entered me and I wanted to cry. 

Submission Friday - Pussy Spanking / Slapping

After the week of stress with the mother and other stupid people in general, I was happy to hear that BIKSS had gotten the car back from the workshop. This meant we'd have a little more freedom in planning our date. He was also going to be off from work a little earlier than usual, so we could meet ahead of the usual time. 

We decided to take advantage of the extra time we had to catch dinner (quick simple meal at Long John Silver's) AND a movie. I wanted to watch the latest WW84 movie so we ended up getting tickets for a couple seat (which is usually situated at the very back of the theatre) at a cinema that's pretty out of the way and not very popular. There was a total of 8 people in the cinema! 

I enjoyed the film more than BIKSS did I think, but then that's because I think it gives women a sense of what would happen if we could be strong like her and didn't have to put up with the cat-calls and harassment we get from guys from the time we're old enough to be a blip on their radar. It gets tiring having to ignore and walk past idiots who think telling a female stranger 

you're pretty, 

what's the hurry, slow down babe, 

you should let your hair down, 

hey give us a smile,  

is perfectly ok and that we should be thankful that they bother to even notice us. Argh. Can we teach boys to stop this please?

After the movie we came back to my place, and as I'm on my period (yay finally a 28 day regular cycle!) we thought (ok, I thought) it would just be a night of warm comfy cuddling. 

BOY was I wrong. BIKSS was trying to hug me without touching all the "sexy" bits, and I teased him about it, saying that I appreciated how he was very careful to place his arm across me without going too low and hitting my butt / groin, but not too high that he ends up resting on my boobs. He tends to stay away from danger zones that might get me turned on during my bleed so as not to get me horny because we can't have sex. And, again, I do appreciate it heaps.

But somehow while talking about it he ended up on my nipple and immediately my brain switched gears and I thought, as a sub I really ought to let him do whatever he wishes regardless of whether I could have sex or not. And it felt really good so I let out a moan. He was encouraged by that. "You're being a mean daddy..." And I think he switched gears too, cos the next thing he said was "Uh-huh. I am. You can't have sex right now, but you can give Daddy a blowjob."

That made me groan more and my tummy started to flip. He carried on stroking thru my pjs and after some time snuck his hand under my shirt to fiddle with me skin on skin. Of course part of the turn on was that it felt good being stroked and twiddled, tweaked and pinched, but a larger part I think was knowing that I was submitting. And if you know me at all you'll know that submission is a huge turn on for me. (Isn't that the case for many of us?)

So then I told him what I was thinking. And he understood completely. And suddenly knowing that he knew, as he proceeded to turn on his Dom even more (you know, more pain, more grabbing, more holding me in place), it made me turn into complete mush and jello inside. That was an extra layer of turn-on for me, submitting is one thing, but knowing that he knew I was doing so for him, for his pleasure, as a form of obedience was mega huge to my submissive brain. And knowing that he was 'taking' whatever he wanted, I mean, talk about making sure I was horny. 

He held my head close to him, he kissed and fondled, he grabbed my hair to hold my head in place so he could kiss me hard. At one point he held my mouth open by placing a thumb to the side of my mouth - I could have closed it, but I recognise the signal, that's what he wanted. Control. And I gave it. 

His hand moved downwards towards my pussy (I'm wearing a pad FYI) and even when we HAVE played during my period in the past he'd stay clear of my girly bits. Not this time. He stroked me through my underwear and then started spanking between my legs. Oh man. I know I had extra protection, but it's not like my clit couldn't feel anything. And he did this for an extended period of time. I was going crazy with want. And a little frustrated at not being able to fuck. 

By this time I was holding Roger in my hand and working my fingers all over and up and down his cock, he responded with his own moans of pleasure. Every time he slapped my pussy and I twitched, he seemed to get harder. It went on longer than I thought it would, usually by this time I'd have suggested putting Roger in my mouth. But I let him lead. I let him decide the pace. I let him. 

He stopped spanking my cunt and went back to kissing me and pinching my tits. And then he took his pants off so I had full access to his cock and balls. But still no blowjob. He started spanking me again, with two hands this time. It was insane. Pain, pleasure, submission, all the feels. 

Eventually he thought it was about time I gave Roger a proper seeing to with my mouth. I rushed down towards his crotch and he chuckled. "She can't wait to escape and save her nipples" he commented. 

"No, that's not it, I know you can still reach my tits when I'm giving you a blowjob, but at least my pussy will be safe from the spankings... And Daddy has been waiting a long time for my mouth to be on Roger, so that's why I was quick about it."

The usual hot towel clean up followed his cum, along with fetching him some drinking water.

And the rest of the cuddley evening was spent in a wonderful submissive glow. 

"Good girl," he said, for the umpteenth time that evening, kissing me as he held me close to him. 

My mood pic today ~

 

Why We Weren't Having Sex and Maybe We Can Get Past It

Remember how I said I got emo the other night? First of all, opening up the mailbox and finding all your comments with such lovely words really touched me. I'm so so grateful for the cyberfriendships I have with all of you. 

Well the good news is that after all the blubbering, and trust me, there was blubbering that night, BIKSS came over on Monday night after his Zoom course (some office thing) even tho it was already past 9, and we had a lovely (almost normal) evening together. 

Here's the funny thing tho, it was just the ONE tiny detail, but it mattered A LOT.

If you go away with nothing else after my post, remember this - Talk about the things that may seem ludicrous and stupid in your head. It might seem dumb and inconsequential, but sometimes it really does all just boil down to that one silly little thing. 

You wanna know what I said during that blubbering session? It may seem weird and unrelated, but I think one of the reasons we weren't doing the deed is cos BIKSS has been flopping down the wrong way on my bed. Like this. 

LOL. Let me explain.

Things that have changed recently : - 

1-Less frequent meetups so longer talk-time during face to face dates. 

2-Less texting cos I've been busier at my work (and attending to the mother in the afternoons or taking her out) and he's been busier at his new job. So more talking when we DO meet up (plus refer to point 1).

3-Less time at home to talk cos it's just weird for me to drag BIKSS into the room and hang out with him from 7 to midnight when the mum is RIGHT OUTSIDE in the living room. I live in an apartment, so it would seem funny. Like, oh hi mum, look who's here, don't mind us, we're just going to disappear into the room now. So, um, yeah. We ALWAYS eat out these days, whereas in the past we would eat at home, and the talking could start during dinner.

4-I mean, it's not that we don't talk during dinner when we eat out. BUT. It's harder to talk about... you know, intimate things, or play (touch, tease) with each other when out in public so there has been a significant reduction in talking about those kinds of things and connecting in that way. In order to dive into the fun / naughty / intimate talk and play, we would have to wait till we got home, which is about 2 hours later than pre-mother days (and pre-Covid days, for that matter). 

5-According to BIKSS, because I'm so talky-talky (see points 1 and 2), when we DO get to escape into the room and be alone again, he feels like he needs to let me get all the talking out of my system and tell him all the stories and share with him all my news. It's kinda our thing. The "Oh you know what happened? Guess what I learnt? You won't believe what I saw! " and all that. 

6-Also,when he used to come over for dinner at my place, I would have showered before he arrived. Now that we eat out, I need 15 mins extra for a shower when we get home. It's a thing. I can't come home and NOT shower. 

7-Now with the blood sugar issue, we typically also have to watch the clock so that at the 1.5-hour mark we can do a finger-prick test. This makes it hard for us to get down to any boogie-ing cos no one enjoys a mid-fuck finger-prick right? 

8-The result : when we get home after dinner, because we have to watch the clock... and he has to wait for me to shower... and he wants to let me finish telling him about all the goings-on of my last-few-days,  because of all that (I assume he feels since there is some "waiting" to do), he tends to come into the room and flop ACROSS the bed, and not lie down the right way up. This makes it difficult for me to lie down with him and cuddle, as I'm terribly uncomfortable lying down across the bed (I mean, it's not like I have a king-sized setup or anything). So I typically sit cross-legged on the bed and face him while he sprawls. On his back. Facing the ceiling. Feet on the floor. Now how am I supposed to cuddle into that? I could lie on my back the same way but then we'd BOTH be looking at the ceiling. And I can't curl up into him lying on my side cos our shapes don't fit.

And before you all go screaming about why don't I just tell him, well here's the newsflash. I HAVE. A MILLION TIMES. HE KNOWS I HATE IT WHEN HE FLOPS ACROSS THE BED LIKE THAT. BECAUSE IT MEANS WE CAN'T CUDDLE!

Ahem. I didn't mean to scream with the caps. I apologise. Anyway...

What all this means is that our "let's cuddle and be intimate and that will get me into the mood" time is considerably shortened. I would have had a shower, come back to the room, waited for the right time to poke him and get his blood sugar reading (sometimes its finger poke THEN shower) - all this while not cuddling or hugging or touching because the man is lying down wrong.

And because he's a boy, he'll just attack my pussy or tits *whilst* we're talking - ok he's not talking, he does it when *I'M* talking - and that kinda makes me feel like a piece of meat, and no girl thinks that's romantic. I mean, I'm sitting up. You're lying on your back in bed. And I'm regaling you with stories of my day while we wait for 1030 so I can poke your finger, and your idea of getting romantic is to fiddle with my tit?  So according to him, when he's initiated sex I've brushed him off and told him no. Well, ok. I suppose I have... perhaps instinctively even cos I don't actually remember doing so, but really, in my defence it's very piece-of-meat-esque. And again, this is not NEWS - I've told him before that it's a trigger (emotional baggage yada yada but it is what it is.. blame 18 year old me and the first boyfriend). 

Add getting-older-stupid-hormones to the equation, and you have a good idea why I think we're doomed to never have sex again. 

*****BUT*****

I know he's been making an effort - Zoom course means he can detour here for a bit after class, and on Monday the first thing he did when he got here was get into Daddy mode. I think it's been missing for a bit, or just not as obvious.

When he arrived I handed him a thing that I wasn't using that he said he could use at work, and said jokingly that it was the kind of gift littles give their daddies. He said "You know what else littles can give their daddies... a kiss. Right here." And we puckered up and got all kissy-kissy. 

So I asked him all about his day and as he got into bed ("Look, see? I'm lying down the right way even.") he told me about his course and we chatted and cuddled and kissed and hugged and it was so so absolutely delicious that we could touch each other in all the right ways while still being able to talk about our day. 

It's a lot easier to get into the mood when we're both the right way up!

I am also happy to announce that we had a yummy romp that evening. And everything flowed just the way it was supposed to. *Wink* 

Treats and a Fabulous, Funny Dinner Date

By treats I mean truffle-anything. 

A couple days ago I found some leftover truffle mayo from a takeaway and happily slathered it onto the wrap I had fixed myself for dinner. But I wanted more. 

So I went hunting. It's not easy to come by it in my part of the world. And the ones I've seen in the shops are crazy expensive, cos they're sold only by high end grocers. 

But a friend told me recently that Marks and Sparks had truffle things so I went into town yesterday to check it out. 

I got myself some truffle pesto and truffle mayo and I'm now a happy lidl girl. 

And then I thought, hey since I was already there, and I remembered that I had mall vouchers to use up, why not pick up some roasted peppers antipasti. And orange marshmallow teacakes for the mother. And carrot and coriander soup. And béchamel sauce. I might have gotten a little bit carried away. But to be fair, these are not things I typically have in my larder cos they're not exactly the mainstay of Asian food, but I do enjoy European flavours every now and again. So I decided to splurge a bit.

BIKSS came to get me after my shopping and we went to have dinner at the social enterprise place we discovered pre-Covid. (We had our V day dinner there too, btw.) Not surprisingly we ordered the battered eggplants and sous vide egg Caesar salad again, but this time with a seafood main course. It came with their signature creamy mash underneath topped with a delicious white sauce. Good stuff. I really enjoyed it. 

Salad on the left, brinjals on the right, 

and seafood-a-la-king below.

Dinner was unexpectedly fun cos while I was busying myself with the brinjals, BIKSS dished some salad onto my plate... and because the egg yolk was runny he spooned that straight into my mouth. I felt very little letting him feed me. And I liked it. 

So when the main dish arrived, I peered at it and didn't move while he went ahead and chucked the mussels on my plate (cos he doesn't like em). And since he was already in there, he just went ahead and divided the prawns, squid and fish. 

"I don't want the carrots... " I half whined.

"You don't want cauliflower too right?"

"I'd rather not.."

"Broccoli then."

"OK. Broccoli."

I think there is a time for service - I do find myself serving him food both at home and when we dine out - but there is definitely also a time for being little and letting him pamper me. Last night was a definite "I NEED YOU TO SPOIL ME" night. 

Post-dinner, we ran some errands - picked up some honey mustard from a convenience store on the way home,  stopped at an ATM for me to fiddle with a new card that needed PIN-changing, and then he topped up some gas at the petrol station.

Then we came home. The mother was awake but I couldn't be bothered to sneak him in. I planned on saying he came to help me with the computer, but as it turned out, my helper wasn't wearing any shorts and that led to a very natural shooing of him into my room. Let me explain. This non-wearing of shorts is normal for me and her cos we both walk around, at night especially, in long t-shirts (PJs) and undies. And as there are no guys in this house I told her it was fine with me. Who's gonna care right?

But when I'm expecting people I let her know in advance and she'll make sure to have pants on. Only I didn't tell her BIKSS was coming over last night, so when I opened the door I announced "X's here, whoever's not wearing pants stay put on the sofa and don't move!"

She giggled and pulled a throw cushion firmly down on her lap. Mum and I laughed and I ushered BIKSS straight into the room and said "Go, go, your lappy is in there".  And he scurried away from the living room into the safety of my lair (BTW, he says I've been saying that word wrong all my life!).

It was a perfectly convenient excuse to have him hide inside and not be out in the living room cos they were still watching telly. 

In any case, mum knows I have friends (both guys and girls) over regularly and they've come and hung out in the room often enough (so as not to disturb her telly-watching in the living area).  So I don't think she really cares, tbh.

We chit-chatted innocently on the bed, in case she needed something and knocked on the door at an inconvenient time... until I saw something flitting about. 'Twas a MOTH! I hate moths. I'm deathly afraid of them. (But won't hesitate to kill one if I have to - if only to stop it from existing in the same space as me.)

The thing is, BIKSS' eyesight isn't as keen as it once was. LOL. And he couldn't see it. But I was jumping around getting freaked out, between trying to get away and killing it, in turn.  In retrospect, a light summer kimono is probably the worst moth-kill weapon ever. Eventually it flew behind the piano and he said that I should just leave it be as there was no way I could get at it.

"What? How? What am I going to do? I can't leave it there... ALIVE!"

"Spray some insecticide."

"But then my whole room will smell!"

"Don't you have some lavender thing ... "

"I do!" 

So I pointed my lavender spray at it and hit the nozzle! 

When I shone my phone torch behind the piano to check, it was quite arrogantly perched on the side of the frame, presumably smelling of flowers.

"It's still there! You've got to kill it!"

"It'll die on its own... "

"No it wont, it's very much alive... how is it supposed to die anyway?"

"Cos you've already sprayed it!"

"Yeah, with lavender!"

"What??"

I showed him the can and he burst out laughing. Then I collapsed onto the bed in a fit of giggles too. And while we were both laughing ourselves to tears, he said, "When I said Don't you have some lavender thing, I meant, don't you have a non-stinky insecticide that smells of lavender or some other natural thing that you like so much??"

"How was I supposed to know? You said 'Don't you have lavender..' so I sprayed it with lavender! Cos I DO have lavender!"

He sat back down on the bed with me, both of us getting the last vestiges of laughter out of our systems. And waited. Either for the moth to do something. Or for one of us to come up with a plan that DIDN'T involve lavender.

In the end it flitted down to the floor and I wet a piece of tissue to go at it. But it was in a weird corner and I wasn't sure it would be a one-shot-kill for me.

"Want me to do it?" 

"No. You can hardly see it... (Then, changing my mind)  Ok. Yes. I'm not going to try cos I'll probably hit my hand against the side of the piano trying to get at it."

So HE DID IT. But not before muttering a "Sorry buddy... " under his breath.

"Done."

"Show me!"

I made him half open the tissue so I could see it. And I sure as heck made certain it was well and truly dead!

After that exciting interlude we continued talking till I heard mum go into her room and shut her door.

Which is when I asked BIKSS if he wanted to cuddle. 

And we did. I found a new dragon hair - he has this one strand growing on the inside of his upper arm... he called it his dragon hair. But the original one must have gotten yanked out cos it disappeared some time ago. Well, last night while laying on his arm I felt a tickle against my cheek. When I lifted my head to have a look I found a new one growing. Finer, and shorter, than its predecessor... but it was definitely there. 

"Dragon hair daddy!"

He didn't realise it had grown back either so he was quite pleased about that. It's his lucky dragon hair, he says. 

Anyway.. I started nuzzling on the inside of his arm, and planting kisses up and down as he talked... and suddenly in mid-sentence he said, "You'd better stop doing that... Roger's getting hard."

"You like that? Like in a sexy way?"

"It's naaaaise."

So I continued doing what I was doing. Did he honestly think I was going to stop?

I had pulled off my tee and he reached to pull down the cup of my bra when I hollered, "No wait, let me take it off. It's only $5!"

What I meant by that was that it wasn't by any means a 'good quality' bra as it was soooo cheap, and I wasn't sure it could stand up to the manhandling. LOL.

He laughed at that too. It was a bit of a weird laughy-jokey night. 

Until he said to please take something off. For some reason my brain glitched and I got hot and bothered by that "please". I'm still thinking about that line today. Which tells me something is definitely up. 

Somehow it just triggered a fantasy of a transactional sexual encounter, or one involving unfamiliar people who are just beginning to get acquainted. 

A daddy and a little having sex for the first time maybe... but it seemed more formal than that. There was no lip on lip kissing, just two of us lying in bed and talking... and then me getting faux-horrified cos he stuck his hand all the way down my shorts into my underwear and I exclaimed that I should wear better fitting shorts cos his hand (and it's not a small hand) could get all the way down to my pussy.

I got up to remove it, and I think that's when he said "Please take it off". It's not a typical speech pattern for him. BIKSS is more likely to say "You should take that off" or "I think those shorts shouldn't be on you"... but never PLEASE-something-something. 

It was .. polite. Which brings me back to the feeling of it being transactional. 

And slightly terrifying. In the manner of a captor knowing (and so do you, for that matter) that he has you in his grasp and you're at his mercy and you can't do jackshit about it so would you please do what he says now or else you'll just end up doing it later ANYWAY - but the hard way. 

Ok. My brain has clearly not gotten over this cos as soon as one instance is played out another pops into its place. 

I'm still thinking about that possibility of a more transactional encounter - not necessarily a sex worker... more like a paid sub. I'll do what you tell me to. But as things can go very south very quickly, he's thought about being polite, creating some semblance of earning my trust. Please take that off... (and then I will continue to have my way with you). 

In any case, it turned out to be a quick but very hot session. He took off his pants too and his cock was at the ready. "Roger's hard I see..."

"What are you going to do about that?"

I wrapped my hand around him and he moaned. 

He dislodged his cock from my grip almost immediately and moved upwards to my face. He proceeded to stick it in my mouth, pumping right into the back of my throat. 

I gagged. I looked up at him as he grunted his approval. And he smiled. 

His "Good girl" smile.