First World Hotel, Third Rate Service

On the first night after we had been out to the shops we got back wanting to shower. The water heater wasn't working. The temperature is was too cold for me to just step into a non-heated spray of water (cold by my standards... I live in 30 degree weather so 20 degrees is cold to me). 

We rang the front desk. No wait. There was no number for the front desk. It was the operator - we told her the problem and she said she would send maintenance to have a look. I, meanwhile, was sitting on the bed wrapped in a towel and bluddy close to freezing cos half of me was wet from hanging out in the shower waiting for the water to heat up. 

5 minutes later the operator rang again and said they couldn't get anyone to come to us anytime soon, so she'll get the front desk to call us to arrange for a hospitality room. What? Fine. I waited. (I'm pretty sure they're using the term 'hospitality room' erroneously but never mind that for now.)

Eventually the front desk clerk rang up and said she would send someone with a room key for a room in Tower 1 (we were in Tower 2) where I could use the hot water in the shower. 

Could we get a bathrobe so I can walk about downstairs in the lobby in my shorts and tee and then back again in my pjs, so I don't have to get ACTUALLY dressed to go there and back? 

I'm sorry, she says, but bathrobes are only available in World Club rooms. Sigh. I know, stupid. Which is why I requested one... cos I don't have one in MY room... innit?

No sorry, we cannot give them out to NON world club members. Honey, you fucked up, your hot water's not working. I'm not asking for a souvenir. I just need something to wrap over myself to get from Tower 2 to Tower 1 and back again. 

Maybe you put on the clothes you had on earlier, walk over there with your toiletries then bring a new set of clothes to wear back to your own room after you shower, she tells me. 

Say what now? I'm already naked and my clothes from the day are in a pile on the semi wet floor... 

Oh then you wear some clean clothes over, shower and put them back on? 

Is she seriously telling me what to do? The Cheek!

I'm not going to put CLEAN clothes on my NOW DIRTY SELF. 

Oh, yes, I'm sorry about that. Someone will come over shortly with the key. Thank you for understanding, have a good day, she says. 

Wait a minute, don't THANK ME. I'm NOT being understanding. This is unacceptable. This is NOT a good resolution to my problem. Can we just change rooms? Sorry, no rooms available, she says. 

And again, Thank you for understanding, have a good day. Then she hangs up. 

What in the bluddy fuck!

I decided to wash my hair in the sink, wet half the bath towel and used it as a washcloth (albeit a super large one) to wipe myself down, and then proceeded to dry myself with the other un-wet half as best I could. 

My sister decided she would just go to bed without a shower. 

Anyway, the next morning we splashed water on our faces, brushed our teeth and went out for the day. 

Thankfully by the time we got back the hot water was up and running. 

We decided we now need a revenge holiday to make up for this horrid experience. Maybe we'll pick one of the other  hotels. 

And now, the pics. 

You may be called First World Hotel (yes, that's what the hotel is actually called). 

But you seriously have LOUSY service! Bleugh.

The hotel as seen from ANOTHER hotel where we had breakfast

This is Genting Grand. We want to stay HERE if we come again. It was Genting's very first hotel + casino ages and ages ago. And to date is still one of the best hotels there.

There's also Crockfords which is relatively new. And is also a Forbes best something something many years in a row. It's also super expensive. But you GOTTA love a hotel that calls its smoking area a Secret garden.

One of the best things to do when one is travelling is EAT. I saw a Burger & Lobster so I popped in. 

This was a snack about 2 hours after we had lunch at the hotel lobby while waiting to check in. 

We shared the plate (half beef half lobster). Delicious. 

The best part was the lightly toasted buttered brioche. 

I think that might be my favourite type of bread in the world. 

I really like this majestic looking snake in the middle of the shopping mall. I get that CNY is way over and they're a bit behind in taking down the decor. But it's still a grand looking snake. 

The last time I'd been up to Genting Highlands was 12 years ago. A lot's changed since then, but somehow the Ripley's Believe it or Not has withstood the test of time. We didn't go in, but it was nice to see that not everything was new and improved. There's a sort of nostalgia at seeing something from one's childhood, tucked away in the corner as it were, amidst the oh-so-conspicuous sparkly, shiny, loud jumble of fancy, multi-coloured, adrenaline-producing rides in the middle of the megamall!  

I suppose it's a good thing those used capsules can be made into something useful... 

not sure how viable the production of said something will be tho... 

The sister spotted a Harry Ramsden's and we simply HAD to try it. 

It was disappointing. And a bit of a waste of stomach space imo.

What WASN'T disappointing was the Nasi Ulam (steamed rice with very finely sliced/chopped aromatic herbs and spices like daun kesum aka laksa leaf aka Vietnamese coriander, onions, chilli etc. and sometimes vegetables like cucumber and long beans - this is a gross simplification tho) that we had for dinner at a Peranakan restaurant. 

It's weird that we were just in Melaka last month (aka the land from which the Peranakans hail, and so is well known for its Peranakan cuisine - if you throw a stone in any direction you'd hit a Peranakan restaurant!) and yet the two Peranakan restaurants we tried in Genting were so much more satisfying than the ones we ate at in Melaka!

The next morning we took a cable car ride to the Genting premium outlet stores where I decided to splurge on some Venchi chocolate after the previous night's pissiness regarding that whole hot shower situation. And ice cream. We shared a cup of gelato. It was so good!..

That ice cream plushie on the right was a free gift

6 nuggets of chocolate cost me just under $17 USD (about 95gms). I did say I decided to SPLURGE.

The view from our cable car

It was pretty decent weather for a cable car ride. It did storm later in the afternoon.

Chin Swee Caves Temple

The link above takes you to the wiki page, but I've copied the most fascinating thing to me about it here-

Construction of the temple was challenging due to the steep and rocky terrain, which rendered modern machinery unusable for essential tasks such as piling. Lim Goh Tong, serving as planner, architect, designer, contractor, and supervisor, opted for manual labour to excavate the foundation. His team dug holes 80 to 100 feet deep on the difficult hillside. Despite the labour-intensive and time-consuming nature of the project, the temple was completed in 18 years. Remarkably, no casualties or work-related accidents were reported throughout the construction period.

The sister bought a bunch of tees for her son and husband from the outlet stores, and some snacks for her daughter. I didn't get anything besides that bag of chocolate nuggets. Here's my combined loot from the previous day + the chocolates. She had twice as much in the end. Maybe even more.

I also bought panty liners cos they're really cheap in Malaysia so I pick some up every time I'm there. 

Clockwise from top left (approximately) :

+ Shower gel (it was 1-for-1 and I wouldn't pay so much for lovely minty shower gel at full price...)

+ 2 packs of Saborino 1-minute face masks (you can find a ton of Youtube reviews)

+ Beryl's chocolate covered popping candy for the boss cos I just found out he loves popping candy

+ Nuts for snacking in the room or on the bus ride home

+ Disposable cotton face towels in case they still hadn't sorted out the hot water by the time we got back to the room

+ Too-expensive splurgy chocolates

I also bought a long open front cardi with a hood but I've laundered and put it away by now and I'm too lazy to take a pic of that for you. But it looks something like this. 

The one I got has a textured knit, and I love how it looks like the hood of a cape when it's not atop my head - the fabric rests on the top of the shoulders in a bit of a pile (bottom right) instead of getting pulled backwards from its own weight straight down the back (bottom left), you know what I mean?

Lunch was at another Peranakan restaurant and the pic above shows only HALF of what we ordered. 

Top left - Lobak. A meat roll, typically made with a filling of minced meat (pork, chicken, or a combination), seasoned with Chinese five-spice powder, and wrapped in bean curd sheets. 

Top right - Kerabu Ladies Finger where kerabu generally just means 'salad' or a 'vegetable dish'. This is steamed (very tender!) ladies finger / okra with a topping of chilli sambal.

Bottom - Assam Laksa "is a popular noodle soup dish from Penang, Malaysia, known for its rich, tangy, and spicy flavor profile. It's a distinct variation of laksa, using a fish-based broth with tamarind (assam in Malay) for a sour kick, unlike the coconut milk-based broth commonly found in other laksa variations." 

Assam Laksa is also one of my sister's all-time favourite eats.

Dinner was a cup of honeydew melon for me, and a rendang chicken pie that had been sitting in the fridge from the day before, and a tuna salad in a tub for the sister. We just couldn't put anything else in after that awesome filling lunch!

By the next morning however, we were ready to rock and roll! The yam balls with mince meat filling behind the travel monkey were prettily made to look like swans. Sadly, the food looked WAY better than it tasted. Ah well. Not every restaurant can be a winner. The dumplings on the left were pretty decent tho. Nothing to wow about, but nothing objectionable either. Which, all things considered, was pretty much all I could ask for. (I mean, it could have been a whole lot worse than just unobjectionable!)

And that's that. I'll not be travelling till the end of May so for now I'll just sit quietly at home and get back into the swing of regular life. But I TOTALLY CANNOT WAIT TILL BANGKOK! Woot! 

The Sweetest Thing He Did

We're back. And I'll put up pics once I've sorted them all out. 

All I will say for now is that it was HOT AS FUCK. Whoever said Chiang Mai had cool weather was lying. 

Also, maybe it's because we weren't up in the mountains doing village tribe things. We were in the old city. But then, SPECIFY if you mean the MOUNTAINS are cool. Anyway. 

The airport at Bangkok was an absolute mess. They didn't have separate queues for the different flight numbers so every mother's child was queueing in the same line. For the 3.30 flight, the 4.40 flight, and the 5.45 flight, far as I could tell (from the grumbling all around us). I'm sure there were passengers from other flights too. 

We were told there was a shorter queue for e-checkins. So I logged into the portal and did an e-checkin while we were in the queue. Great. Done. But even tho our booking was made together the seats allocated to us were 21C and 37C. Could we change seats to be seated together, I asked the lady walking up and down the line. She said yes, but you still had to queue in the e-checkin line. But we have no bags to tag. We just need our seats changed. Sorry. Same line. 

BIKSS went up to the service desk to ask if we could get our seats changed there instead of waiting behind the 25 people (many of whom seemed to be moving house, judging by the amount of luggage they had) who were waiting to get their bags tagged - no, same line, she told him. 

I was VERY pissy. 

BIKSS was annoyed too but he held it together way better than I did. 

In the end I told him if we got there and they said the flight was full and there were no seats available together I was going to have a fit.

When we eventually got to the counter, the guy changed our seats for us post haste and we managed to get to the gate on time. But before we left the counter I saw BIKSS' fone. He had his browser open to the Google translate page. And it said "Suffers from anxiety" with the accompanying translation in Thai. 

That was him being prepared to throw a medical reason into the conversation in the event they said there were no seats available. I have the meds to prove it too. I just thought it was really sweet he wasn't going to just say, well, we tried, and accept our fate.

And truth is, I don't make a fuss for no reason. But when you encourage your customers to do something you gotta make it beneficial to them too. There's no point telling us to e-checkin if we're all gonna have to queue and get new seats anyway because your system is too dumb to assign seats together for all the passengers in the same booking. They had a page showing the names of all the people who booked together and you had to check off who was here and ready to check in. So we ticked both our names and e-checked in together. Wouldn't it be logical that we'd wanna sit together?

We did the same thing on our outbound flight, and had no problems at all. Seats were allocated side by side and boarding passes printed. Then we went straight to the gate. THAT'S what's supposed to happen, Bangkok. Sheesh.

Ok, well, rant over. 

I'm back and it's as hot here as it was there and everyone is dying from the heat. 

But otherwise, we're all safe and sound. 

Bought some 1-for-1 chips today. The first time I tried this I was in Sydney. It was different from what I was used to, but not all bad. Now that we have them here, and they're on discount, why not right? 

So I guess things are back to normal. 

Physio and Philodendrons

The mother had her first physio session today at the rehab centre. I went with them, dropped them off at reception, and then ran off to see to errands at the pharmacy - collecting meds, buying supplies and all that other fun stuff. Then I went home. 

I am just going to grumble right now about the incompetence of the staff. At the end of the session they said to mum's caregiver that she had to pay them for the transportation they arranged for us. Um. No. There was no transport. We called an Uber.

Last week Ms Admin lady rang to let me know that if we wanted transport we had to come to the centre at 830 in the morning, since that was the only available time the wheelchair transport service could fit us in, and they only operate in the mornings. I said no, cos we have only just managed to get the mother on some kind of regular sleeping schedule and that's just way too early for her. If we force her out of bed at 7 she'll be sleepy come lunch time and then she'll want to take a nap and then she'll be up all night all over again. 

So I said we'll make our own way there, and forget about the transport. Ms Admin lady said she would see what afternoon slots she could find for us, then rang me about an hour later to confirm our 330pm physio appointments. Twice a week, she said, both in the afternoon, she said. Cos we're not going to need their transportation service, she said. Right? Right, I said.

So what's this about asking us to pay for transport? 

My caregiver explained the situation but they insisted she had to pay them. Well, she said no, and got pretty annoyed with the lady at the counter before Ms Admin lady (who was sitting beside the you-have-to-pay-us-for-transport lady) looked up and said "But your daughter said she wanted transport so we arranged transport for you." To which my caregiver practically rolled her eyeballs back into her spine as she said "You said it was for 830am, and we're not here at 830am right? We're here now. In the afternoon. After having made our own way here in a car." 

Ms Admin lady then said she had to check. Which she did. And 10 mins later she agreed that we didn't have to pay anything. 

I was not with them during this episode. And only heard about it when they got home. 

1) How incompetent is she? And seriously? If your transportation service only operates in the morning and it is now 430 in the afternoon, and your physio sessions are all only one hour long, then OBVIOUSLY we couldn't have been ferried over on your transport right?

2) Why are you asking the non-spokesperson to pay for shit when you have my phone number and I'm the one who's settling all of mum's bills (and they know this because I signed a ton of forms during the initial assessment visit last week)? 

3) Why don't you just call me and get clarification instead of asking my mum's caregiver who is clearly not the decision maker? 

Stoooopid shits. I'm not impressed by their work - this centre is run by the same people who operate the community hospital where mum was transferred to after her surgery. And I found them seriously lacking at that point too. Argh. 

And before you say anything - we don't really have a choice cos 

1) the government subsidises seniors quite a fair bit so it's not like we could pick ANY centre (I mean, we could, but we currently only pay $17 per hour - which is 20% of the full rate - at a subsidised centre, but if we went to a non-subsidised one I would be a pauper before the year was up!); 

2) even if we wanted to pay full price there would be no point cos the other centres are full (I checked) and this was the only one left that was accessible and relatively nearby; 

3) they have decent therapists, and their equipment range is awesome! They just have crappy admin / operations staff. 

Anyway. That got sorted eventually, but I still think they're idiots. 

Meanwhile, as I was leaving the building (with my haul from the pharmacy) I saw a guy dealing with the hydroponic plants on the feature wall and there were all these cuttings just getting thrown away. 

It wasn't a sunny spot, so these were indoor plants for sure. Perfect for my home no? 

I asked (shamelessly!) if I could take a few of the cuttings home with me and he was SO friendly and eager to let me have them. Here's an anthurium. What about a fern? Want a fern? This is a lovely one. Hang on, where is it. I chucked one out.. ah here it is. Take this. It's good. You want a money plant? I have many. They grow really fast. No? This is a fern too... if you like it I'll look for a root and pluck it out of the wall for you. 

No no no, don't pluck it out. I'll just take whatever you've ALREADY cut off. These will do nicely. Thanks again!

So now I have a Boston fern (extreme right), and his anthurium and money plant turned out to be philodendrons - Imperial Green I think (the big leaf in the middle) and Heartleaf (smaller leaves to the left). 

I came home and potted them up. I don't know if they'll survive the transition from water to soil, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. The philos should be ok, they're hardy things. But I'm not so sure about that fern. It looks a tad bit delicate to me. 

If that big one (top right) is what the app tells me it is, then I'm all good cos it's a self-heading (non-vining) plant and will contain itself in the pot for a pretty long while. But when I took the cutting home it looked to me like it *could* have been a vine. Still, we'll see in time. 

And that was my plant adventure today!

~~~~~

My mood pic today is a forked-up plant! ~

(Mum isn't the only one needing a tongkat (walking stick) for support - I propped up a couple of my raphidophora tetrasperma leaves on take-away forks cos they were droopy. The two bottom leaves were pretty limp when I got the plant from the plant-mama, and didn't perk up like I had hoped.  I'm happy to say, tho, that the new leaves that have sprouted since it's been here are all much firmer and stronger and standing tall! )

This Time I Said No

I went to get my watch battery sorted at another mall today, one where I know there's a very knowledgeable watch guy who knows his shit. It was a bit expensive, but really, after all the shopping I've been doing, $15 seems like something I shouldn't be complaining about especially if it's going to only be a quarterly affair. And he's reliable, so that's what I'm paying for I suppose. 

Then it was off to my IPL hair removal thing. I haven't been back since June last year. Blame Covid. It's been like a half-yearly thing since end 2019, and Covid has made me lazy so since I didn't have too much growth I just left it till now. 

I shall have to try and make THAT a quarterly thing too. Since it's in the same mall as the battery shop, perhaps I'll just go whenever I need a new batt! 

A plan! I love a good plan that takes care of schedules for me. 

As I was stepping into the house mum was exiting her bedroom with the asshat brother's wedding picture frame in her hand. 

The fuck. 

She mentioned something about feeling bad cos when he comes to visit he always looks at the photos I have on my display unit and once she thought she heard him mention something about 'photograph' and I was all like - that's not my problem. So what are you intending to do with that?

She wanted to add it to the collection of photos. I know it's not a huge hardship. But No. I'm not going to have the photo of the person I resent the most in this world sitting on top of my display cupboard, along with photos of the people I love. 

She then said something about not being fair cos everybody else's photos are displayed. 

Nope. My niece's photo isn't there. My sister's photo isn't there. My brother in law's photo isn't there. 

She pointed to the TV cabinet where there was a pic of my and my sis (from 35 years ago) next to the telly. 

I said, you will notice that is a photo of ME and someone. Just like the other photographs I've put up there are of ME and other people. The only photos that don't have me in them are your wedding photo (well, but they're my parents so there!) and my nephew's and his wife's wedding photo - which, I pointed out, is only there cos SHE wanted it there. 

So I said, let's just solve this now. This is MY photo display. It's meant to be photos of ME. So if you want fair, then let's be fair. I took away the nephew's wedding pic and the one of me and the sister. And put them all in her room. 

We went through a whole discussion of how the asshat doesn't have any of our photos anywhere in his house and all the pics she had displayed were confined to her bedroom, so why in the holy fuck should I have his photo in MY house. 

Besides, that was meant to be co-owned - it was dad's and his house, in name, until the father signed his share over to the asshat's alien wife. So even more there should be good reason why they should get equal dibs on photo displaying rights. 

THIS however, is MY house. It's in MY name. I paid for it. ALL of it. 

Her argument was that whatever it is I shouldn't behave this way, after all he's my brother. THE FUCK. 

I said, ok, you can think I shouldn't behave or think or feel whatever way, but I do. And I don't have a problem with that. 

Everyone makes mistakes she says. Things that happened long ago... 

I cut her off. 

Number 1 - When he went to the geriatric clinic behind ALL our backs and requested for dad to be admitted into the nursing home (way before he needed one) that was NOT a mistake. 

Number 2 - When I moved out and needed a car boot to move the last bits of my personal belongings, and he said "Oh but the boxes are gonna scratch the leather and the car's so new... couldn't you ask one of your many guy friends who drive to help you?" THAT was not a mistake. 

And number 3 - When I needed him to spot me one grand during my house renovation cos a pipe had unexpectedly needed changing and the floor needed waterproofing because of it, he said he didn't have any spare cash and the credit line was for emergencies. I said I would pay the interest, of course, cos it would have taken too long for me to go and apply for one in my own name at that point - it could take up to a month to get the bank to approve a line of credit, or a fortnight, at best, and I didn't have the luxury of time! And it would take me a couple of months max to get the money back to him (cos everything else had already gone into the main renovation cost). Instead he said, "Is there someone else you can ask? Cos I'm not comfortable withdrawing from that line of credit." I proceeded to ask my cousin (somewhat close, but I mean, brother was closer at that point) who transferred the money to me within 30 seconds. No questions asked. "Keep it till you've recovered from this huge investment - I'm in no hurry to get that money back from you" he said. 

This is the cousin who had only just recently lost his job at that point. I felt bad, and eventually decided to pay him in installments so he wouldn't have to wait too long to recoup that cash. Turns out the ass who didn't want to loan me the money rang said cousin a week after he spotted me the cash to ask if he needed a loan now that he was jobless, cos he had some savings and you know, family should help family, since he was my dad's godson after all. 

My cousin laughed and said, how about you loan your sister the one grand. Then you don't have to lend me any money cos she'll be able to return the money I gave her. 

"Oh if you're ok financially then that's good, anyway if you need anything just call." And hung up. 

Did he offer me the loan? OF COURSE NOT. 

AND THAT WAS NOT A MISTAKE.

So no. I will not let her put his fucking photo in my living room. And I don't care what she thinks. I will not let her look at me in the way I know she's wont to do to make me feel guilty about hurting her feelings. Because she needs to get that she has hurt MY feeling this time.

I was supposed to meet BIKSS for dinner at 645. But I think I'm just going to have a shower and get out of the house. I REALLY DON'T wanna be here right now.

My mood pic today ~

The Uselessness of This App

I have a multi-travel card that allows me to get on and off the buses and trains. They started an auto-reload function more than a year ago, and I've been using the service ever since. You can set it up to reload a specified amount of money and each time it does that you get an email alert. 

Recently I joined a freelancers union and they have a tie-in with a credit card that gets you lots of rebates and points that you can exchange for cash to use for groceries. So I applied for it and once I received my card I proceeded to move all my existing recurring charges over to the new card. That itself was an exercise in patience and determination. 

But moving on. 

A few days ago I saw that there was a charge for my travel card on the OLD credit card. So I wrote in to them to have it rectified - ie, switched over to the new card. 

The reply was that I had to personally GO TO the ticket office and get them to cancel the auto reload service, providing them with the travel card for verification. And then presumably once that is done, I can re-apply for the auto reload function with the new credit card. 

Now why on earth would there be an option to "Change payment / add a new credit card" on the app if it's not going to take? 

Sometimes I wonder if the people who launch these programs think it through at all! How inefficient. 

More News To Piss Me Off

This Texas restaurant told their employees that if they want to return to work, they had to leave their masks at home. It's irresponsible and unnecessary. In fact, I would be glad for ALL f n b outlets to encourage their staff to wear masks ALL the time, regardless of Covid - it's just more hygienic. This is why the people who work at food factories have masks and hair nets... right? So your food is clean all the way to the kitchen of the restaurant then all bets are off. Pfft. Story below.

Reopened restaurant tells workers: Don't wear face masks — or don't work

"The employees said management also told her that face masks don't complement the restaurant group's style or level of hospitality."

Sure, masks don't look good, but I suppose Covid looks better.

This twit (well, if you're going to use twitter I'm going to call you a twit, deal with it) was pissed that Sunday River was going to remain shut. Because he had no better argument for why they shouldn't be shut, he just flung them a slur intended to hurt their ego. It didn't work. But why in sanitizer's name in the first place did he feel he had the right to say anything at all? If they're going to remain closed, then suck it up. People like that piss me off.

Then there's that video that everyone was sending to everyone else about the coronavirus conspiracy theory  blockbuster, "Plandemic". In it Dr. Judy Mikovits, 'science genius', claims she was thrown into prison and silenced cos she doesn't play ball with the bigwigs in power. My sister still refuses to believe she could be a hack, and if she were American I swear she'd be a very Republican Republican. No offence to any Republicans out there. But you know... she's a fanatic. And extremely pro-Trump.

I don't care what her politics are (and besides, she's NOT American so who really cares right?) but STOP SENDING ME SHIT. 

So I sent her this to set things straight. But of course she's saying that it's fake news. 

I'm so sick of it. 

But if you don't agree with the Plandemic video and want to send an answering link to the person who sent it to you, have a look at this. 

Discredited Doctor and Sham ‘Science’ Are the Stars of Viral Coronavirus Documentary ‘Plandemic’

Also, this one : 

Fact-checking ‘Plandemic’: A documentary full of false conspiracy theories about the coronavirus

You're welcome. 

Thankfully the video isn't available in the usual places online anymore (which is a good thing, imo), altho I'm sure it can probably still be found if you knew where to look. If you had to good fortune to have missed it, thank your lucky stars. 

And finally, the most triggering one of all.  COVID PARTIES. I mean, what in the actual fuck? 

‘COVID parties’ blamed for sharp rise in coronavirus cases in Washington state

Ok state officials have retracted their statement and said that maybe these are "innocent" parties after all, and people who caught the virus there did not know they were exposed to someone who had it because they might have been asymptomatic when they attended. 

THIS IS WHY THERE IS A QUARANTINE DUH! If it was something we could see straight off the bat then we wouldn't need to be stuck at home for weeks on end right?

I am borrowing this from Jz... because it is SO accurate. 

And now my rant is over. Have a good weekend everyone. 

Rolling Eyeballs

Is what I've been doing the last few days. 

This is probably the most unsexy post of all my unsexy posts. It's just a ranty vanilla post about stupid people around me, and I'm sorry to have to subject you all to it. But at the moment this is my only blog as I've taken down my real-life-person vanilla blog. 

So anyway we went to see a family priest on Wed because the sister wanted some counsel on how to deal with the family situation. Personally I thought it was a waste of time, but she wanted me to go to furnish him with the details of the goings-on in that toxic household that my parents call home. So go I did. 

And at one point she said something about how I'm the head and she's the heart cos I'm heartless and have no empathy. (Well, for someone who proclaims to be the heart that was pretty heartless I thought.) 

Anyway I said, well, my doctor did say he suspects I have Asperger's and so can you blame me for being focused only on what needs to be done and planning the next steps ahead for the parental units? I mean sitting around and feeling sorry and bad isn't going to help anyway. 

At that point she actually accused me of hiding behind a non-existent diagnosis and said I was just using it as an excuse not to be compassionate, and that I could always choose to be more feeling instead of so OCD and insistent on wanting my home to be kept clean and therefore unwilling to have the parents here cos it would mess up my tidy abode. 

I mean, What The Fuck. 

So I said - you're saying it's my fault then? 

The priest was looking on with great interest and she noticed, which is when she backtracked and said - "No no, I mean you're so self-disciplined, that's all it is, don't label yourself, you're perfectly normal." 

 What a shit. 

I'm quite fed up of her always throwing these sorts of accusations my way (it's my fault whenever I don't agree to do something that she wants me to do, especially when her solution involves making MY life more inconvenient!) so I think when I go to my upcoming psych session this Wednesday I shall insist that we look into exploring how I can be assessed so that if I do get a formal diagnosis I can just shut them all up once and for all. UGH!

The other thing that happened this week?

The asshat of a brother's wife (well, they're both asshats so it doesn't matter which sentence tree you prefer to use in that phrase) was deep-frying something in a small pot that clearly wasn't deep enough, and it boiled over and hit the fire on the stove, and the flames that erupted from that greeted my mum when she opened the front door upon her return from lunch. Mum hollered for the moron (who was in the bedroom by the way... I mean, who leaves a bubbling pot of oil unattended??) and she ran out of the room towards the kitchen stove, where she proceeded to fill up a big basin with ... wait for it... WATER. 

Are you rolling your eyeballs yet?

So the mother hobbled over towards her as quickly as she could to stop her from pouring water over an oil fire, but um, it was too late. As mum shouted out her warning, she poured the thing, the flames went up, and the mum in her haste tripped and fell. 

UH HUH. 

Thankfully X-rays showed no fractures, and the pain she's feeling in her shoulder and arm are likely just muscular and should subside in a few days. 

Yup. My eyeballs are tired from all the rolling. 

Thanks for reading. Feel free to add comments expressing your incredulity at one or both of these accounts. If you manage to make them funny it would go a long way in providing me with some needed stress relief too. 

OH - you should probably know that there's a home-sized fire extinguisher at the entrance to the kitchen - put there by the brother because he was worried mum would get careless or forgetful and something would burn. Yup. 

And if you would like to take this opportunity to refresh your memory re putting out grease fires, have a look at these:

Best way to put out grease fires

How to put out a grease fire -wiki

Kitchen safety - how to put out a grease fire

and remember this picture at all times - 

FFF #35 Recap and Weekend Ups and Downs

I'm not the only person for whom time went wonky this weekend.

Olivia kind of forgot Friday but she has great news. Read her update here.

Roz's comment ~

Way to go on your steps! I have only done my exercises 3 days this week with one thing and another. I did mow the lawn this evening though. Does that count? lol. I have also slowly just started doing the stairs at work again.

The response is YES IT COUNTS. Any getting-up-and-going activity counts! Hurray on starting the stairs at work. Incorporating steps into daily life is probably the best (least intrusive) way to get exercise! 

My weekend has been weird. Saturday night I had a last minute ride-along with BIKSS cos he had visitors in town from overseas and asked if I wanted to come with to drop something off to them. He didn't seem to mind at my being there, after all, we ARE old friends - 30 years under our belt and all. 

Turned out to be a double date of sorts LOL. 

In the end we went for beers (while I had tea) and spent a little over a couple of hours out. 

We made a plan for Sunday morning (that's today, which is why my schedule is a little thrown) to see said visitors off at the airport and then get breakfast. 

It turned out to be a chicken and waffle brunch (TOTALLY YUMS)  before he dropped me off for my Sunday afternoon lessons. 

The parents who have been here every Sunday didn't come today cos the father was being stubborn. So I was looking forward to a relatively quiet evening after class and even planned a little nap. 

Unfortunately the brother started his nonsense again and ended up getting me fuming mad. I have since blocked him and deleted his number from my phone, AND blocked him on FB. He's just too draining and if I have to suffer one more interaction with him I will go bonkers. 

I'm going to the agency tomorrow to see about getting another live-in helper for mum. We met one of the candidates last Friday and she seems to be a better fit. 

If you're religious at all, I'm asking you, my blogland friends, please please please say a little prayer for us that this one works out - even amid the idiot brother's objections to having a helper in the house. Yes. He actually said NO - that he doesn't approve of getting another caregiver for my parents. 

I told him to shut up and that it's not up for discussion. 

If you have siblings whom you love and who love you and aren't assholes, BE VERY GRATEFUL. Tell them you love them. Do it today. Right now. Because some siblings are just grade A asshats. 

The Thoughts That Plague Me

***This is Not a pretty post***

I just needed somewhere to ramble. I haven't had the chance to watch any tv in the last month and a half or so... honestly I can't even remember the last thing I watched. The TV SHOW folder on my lappy tells me I'm done with Stranger Things Season 2 so I suppose that must have been it.

I sat down today to watch The Good Fight. It's a spin off of The Good Wife. And I enjoyed the original series quite a bit, so I thought I might enjoy this too. And I did. Only when I hopped into the shower the same naggy (negative) thoughts started flooding my brain again. This only used to happen when I watched Greys. Go figure. All the romantic storylines were to blame, I thought. I realised when I'm pre-menstrual watching Greys would really do a number on me, so I was more careful about where I was in my cycle before sitting down to an episode of the medical drama. 

But I was barely into 20 minutes of The Good Fight, and there were NO romantic storylines there and yet when I stood under the running water it all came back. My generally stable self was bombarded with jabs of unworthiness; fear poking fun at my loneliness.  

Why was I not good enough? 

The carpenter and I dragged on for too long. His mum wanted him to marry another. He didn't want to. After we broke up he went on to marry a foreign girl and now they have a daughter. So much for mum not approving of him marrying someone of a different race (me). The beaming smile at the camera tells me otherwise. 

The one everyone thought I would marry whom I supported through his army enlistment and studies abroad. I hung on for a good 7 years. We broke up over the phone one Christmas eve. Because he forgot me. His family loved me. He didn't. Not enough to commit anyway. 

The one with the cuckoo mum who insisted on coming on our dates and bunked in with us when I stayed over. Actually, even when I didn't stay over she would bunk in with him.  It was just too weird. I told him to choose and he chose her. Until he chose another over her. Yup. Married and moved out. 

The one who left in the middle of pizza dinner. Just got up and walked out. I still don't know what that was about. One minute we were watching some car show and laughing over pizza and the next thing I knew he was out the door. "I can't do this" was all he said as he left. 

And BIKSS. I love him. I know he loves me. And if he wasn't spoken for, he says, he'd be with me in a heartbeat. I want to believe him. But I'm cynical and jaded and I think it's easy to say that when there's no chance in hell of having to prove it anytime soon. But it's moot cos he's married. So there's no need to think about that. And it really doesn't matter whether it's true. Or whether I believe him. 

And so the thoughts that plague me when I'm in the shower - what is it that makes me so horrible that the ones who COULD have stayed didn't, and the only ones (it seems) who want to be with me are the ones who are already taken? 

What, so I'm lousy wife material but I make an awesome mistress?

Fuck. 

Then there's feeling like I'm constantly fighting. To get stuff sorted out for the parents. To help with their medicines and medical appointments. Cos no one else knows a damn shit about this stuff - yeah, I'm clever that way, and oh wait, maybe it's just cos I give a shit enough to find out what's going on. 

There's the constant battle against weight-gain. The family's medical history has basically cursed me with diabetes and cirrhosis - so I don't eat carbs (and I limit sugary stuff) and I've quit alcohol.  Thankfully no one has had cancer. This is why I smoke. 

Then there's the money. I'm watching every dollar like a blooming hawk. The debts and bills are finally manageable, thanks to a new plan I have to try and turn things around. The old plans clearly didn't work. This one seems doable. At least I've managed to stick to it without too much pain and there was some extra money left in my bank at the end of last month, so hurray. But it's still a long road ahead, and dammit I shouldn't be having to fight on so many fronts. 

I'm single, I'm free, I'm semi-self employed and have flexi hours, I have my own place, and I have great benefits (free medical advice!) from my part time work. On paper my life looks splendid. 

But the reality is that being single means I'm alone a lot. There is a thing as being TOO free and not having a "regular" person to have brunch with, or to go on a weekend getaway with (that doesn't involve tons of prior planning). Being self-employed means fluctuating income in exchange for that flexible schedule. Having my own apartment also means every damn thing that goes wrong in it needs to get dealt with by me. Alone. Because #I'mSingle. See point 1. And well, it looks like the only thing that doesn't have a downside is having a part time job. Except that means I'm up and dragging myself to work during the morning peak hour. And I'm not a morning person. And I hate crowds. 

Fuck. 

Right now I'm not feeling little. Or submissive. Or any of that shit. Right now I am empty and worn. And the thought comes back to me over and over again... "What's the point?" 

And the worst part of all of this is that a lifetime of conditioning is now making me feel guilty about feeling bad. 

"Self-pity never helped anyone." 

"Oh get a grip, you're not the only one with problems." 

"You're the one who decided to get involved with a married man." 

"Suck it up and deal with it." 

... and so on and so forth. 

Fuck.