In Chinese / Buddhist culture, the 100th day after a person's passing is the point at which their soul is reborn and the family ends its mourning of their loved one's death.
I am not Buddhist but there is some Chinese in me. And while the family isn't still in mourning (typically we just don't wear bright colours for a week or so) somehow it has become ingrained in our society's general consciousness that the 100th day holds some kind of significance. Not in the sense that we'll hold any special gathering or say any special prayer, but I think it's always been just an acknowledgement on the day that Today's the 100th Day. A day to note, but nothing more.
For me, it's recognising that 3 months has passed, and in that time I've had a chance to rediscover what my wants and needs are. I've also reorganised and redecorated the house, getting some new stuff that *I've* been coveting, but also finding ways of incorporating mum's things (both her own belongings and items we used in caring for her over the last few years).
I picked up a lovely wingback chair (pre-owned) at a quarter of the original price, something I'd wanted since before I bought this flat. "When I have my own house, I'll definitely get one!" I used to say. It's only taken me 16 years! The seller threw in the footstool for free when my delivery guys went over to collect it. SCORE! I paid 110 bucks for the set (inclusive of delivery), instead of the $400+ were I to have bought it brand new, AND have to fork out another 35 bucks for delivery on top of that. It's still in very good shape, but had a small water stain on the seat which I've already managed to remove, so it's all good.
The cushion cover is also new. It's a beautiful plush champagne coloured suede fabric that feels absolutely luxurious! The shawl used to be mum's, it was the one we covered her lap with. The old Singer sewing machine in the background was also mum's. I'm glad I took it over when the other siblings passed on it.
My bedroom has also been updated. I got a new mattress to place over the existing sofabed, as its cushions are pretty soft and worn out now. My back is aching all the time (from perimenopause and changing over to a lower dose of hormones which is safer for me in the long run but at the same time causing a lot of the original symptoms to reappear, albeit at not as bad a level as when I didn't have any HRT at all), and I'm pretty sure the bed isn't helping. At least a proper mattress takes away one possible contributing factor.
I've gotten new sheets and cases (in shades of white, off white and light cream) now that I can afford to spoil myself on more 'frivolous' purchases. In the past I was just making do with mismatched bedlinen cos I had more important 'rainy day' eventualities to think about. And I have also gotten myself a new plush and fluffy blanket. The old one was a leftover from when we changed mum's blankie to something a little warmer, and I didn't want it to go to waste. It was admittedly too small for me. So if my toes were warm, my shoulders weren't! LOL. The new one is the proper size for my bed, and covers both me and BIKSS comfortably.
The throws over my living room couch have also been given away as they're properly worn out. I have repurposed my batik cloth and it is now a seat cover. The dining table has a new table cloth and the dining chairs have new cushions. I've pulled out my place mats and for the first time in a long time, last Tuesday, me and CG1 ate at the dining table like civilised people. (In the past there wasn't space on it for eating as it held all of mum's things... medications, creams, rubs, oils, ointments, drops, etc.)
The fruit-slice cushions used to be mum's too. We had her sit on them instead of directly on the geriatric chair seat as the foam provided extra padding and comfort for her not-so-meaty-anymore butt! They have been washed and restuffed, and the more 'used' covers have been chucked into the textile recycling bin.
(pics of chair cushions and table cloth from Ikea website)
The pantry has been cleared of stuff that we don't eat (things that were bought and stored for mum, or for CG2) and what's left is a curated collection of condiments, pastes and canned foods that me and CG1 are more likely to consume on the daily. I had a lot of stuff to giveaway on my freecycle group, let me say. From consumables to hardware. Dishes, pots, metal bowls, potato masher, cleaver and various colanders have all been given away. I finally got some proper liners for the kitchen cupboards and changed out the old ones for some new ones and the drawers and shelves are finally looking less cluttered and more aesthetically me right now.
On the topic of the hormonal problems, I've also begun a 16/8 intermittent fasting regime. It's turning out to be less scary than I thought it would be. This is in an effort to reset my hormones, promote autophagy and get my gut back into shape. I've put on 2 kgs (not so much, but this is despite careful dieting so it's pretty sucky!) since getting off the previous pill, and if I'm not careful it's just going to go upwards and be harder and harder to manage in the long run. We'll see what happens in a week. I've only been at it for 3 days.
The vacation was wonderful. It was cold! Which was a welcome change from the heat and humidity in where-I-live. There was a huge aurora flare on the weekend of the 11th and 12th of May but by then we had moved on to our Sydney leg of the trip and THAT was a washout! There was pissing rain and overcast skies most of our time there. We walked in the rain almost everyday. And yet we managed to have a splendid time - more me than BIKSS. He took a while to get used to the hustle and bustle of the city after coming from the laid back ease of Hobart. I'm more of a city girl so it was no biggie for me. Perhaps he was also in a bit of a shock as he wasn't expecting it to be so "city" like.
I'll put up some pics of Tassie here. Sydney fotos will have to wait.
We arrived in Hobart pretty late so we headed to an Izakaya Bar for dinner. Everything else closes at 6 or 7! It's really not like the shops back home at all, where the malls and everything in them stay open till 10pm! These are wallaby 'wings'. Tastes like chicken. I mean, I'm not going to go out LOOKING for them, but since they had it on the menu, and I'm a pretty adventurous eater, why not right?
That's our rental car and the air BnB we stayed at.
Lovely place with a lovely view of the bay at the end of the street.
We headed to farm gate market after attending Mass on Sunday morning. I picked up some whisky for my boss, BIKSS got some gin, smoked cheese, and apples (5 different varieties!), and we decided on a beef burger and korean chicken pau for our lunch.
Oh and a very satisfying walnut chocolate cookie! It was dense and chewy and delicious, with the perfect ratio of nuts to chocolate chunks to dough!
I've also recently decided that my colour is green. That is, olive, washed out, dirty, dull, khaki green; not pastel, light bright, neon, or jewel greens. A revelation that I came to when I tried on this coat. BIKSS was in the process of getting some jeans, and I was just mucking about in the store trying on various things. To be honest I didn't need a coat, I already had one. And when am I going to need another coat when I live on the equator?
But since I liked it so much and BIKSS thought it looked good, he bought it for me cos there was no way I was going to part with my own money for something I didn't need.
It turned out to be a very good buy cos it was so comfy and warm! That and the merino wool top (below) I picked up later that day were all I needed at the peak of Mt Wellington. That's saying something. I've heard about the wonders of merino wool but since it's so costly back home (I mean, no one needs it in Asia, let's be honest) I didn't get a chance to buy one before our trip. I'm glad I found this one at Target for under $50.
In the evening we drove to Tinderbox beach, in the hopes that we might get some idea of where to set up the camera etc in case Lady Aurora decided to show up. Sadly, there was no aurora. But delightfully, BIKSS brought Bromley and Cuthbert along to Australia as a surprise for me, cos he said I hadn't seen them for a long time, and why not have them along for the trip?! So while I was off having a smoke he set the boys up on the table and took this photo, then sent it to me. It was so sweet! I love it when he does things like that that make me smile.
The next day we had fish and chips at a fish and chips shop by one of the piers. I thought the sign was adorable. The gulls look a bit disappointed tho.
View from the top of Mt Wellington. I have way too many photos of the scenery from up here!
Suffice it to say, it was gorgeous. And very very cold.
One of the cafes we stopped in at for a cuppa (near Goat's Bluff Lookout) while waiting to see if there would be an Aurora showing that night - the bookshelf looked a mess so as I was browsing to pick up something to read, I ended up neatening the shelves. BIKSS was only half amused.
We went to Mt Nelson's
The Signal Station for brunch specifically cos I'd seen this on their menu -
... and I just knew I needed to try it. I was not disappointed. It was very interesting!
And now I can say I've had a spinach and corn waffle!
We hadn't planned on visiting the zoos or animal parks initially, cos that's not really our thing, but when I came across the
Bonorong Wildlife Sanctuary website the week before we left I thought it might be something to put on the standby list of places we might go to if time permitted. I'm glad we made it. It's not the first time I've been to Australia, this is probably like my 5th time or something, but it WAS the first time I came up close and personal with a roo!
And that was the last day of our Hobart leg of the trip. We flew to Sydney the day after. I'll post pictures later on.
In the meantime, thank you all for the outpouring of love and prayers and condolences. I just want you to know that I'm doing ok, and figuring out a new normal for me and CG1. With the perimenopause taking up so much of my energy and bandwidth, I'm definitely not bored or without something to concentrate/focus on. I'm glad it chose to act up only NOW tho, and not when mum still needed caring for.
BIKSS is planning a few work trips to nearby countries in the second half of the year, and while I was initially reluctant to go with cos it would mean taking time off work and dealing with making up classes for the piano kids, AND having to spend extra money on flights to places I'd already been (plus he'll be at work so it won't be an US holiday, more like a ME-time solo shopping and cafe chill-out experience); in the end I decided that if the tickets turn out to be not too costly and I am able to spare the expense, I should go. Who knows when I'll keel over and drop dead. And I'm not opposed to a solo mall walkabout or cafe hang, it's just not something I'd do at home cos there's always OTHER stuff that needs doing. So why not. Life is short. And if I can afford it, I'm doing it.
I TAKE THAT TO INCLUDE ENJOYABLE THINGS!
And in lieu of a chip pic, here is a chocolate pic - from the stuff we bought in Australia.
Because Koko Black and Haigh's kick ass! (These are all from BIKSS' stash.)
