Almost Hump Day - Plants, Blogs, Follow

Yes, I *am* trying to post more frequently. 

1. Today my students' mum sent them over with pots in hand. There were two really tiny ones with coleus cuttings (what's the plural of coleus? Coleuses? Coleii?) and another with a just-rooted tradescantia nanouk (Pref, here's another tradescantia for you!).

(Btw, a quick foreign language lesson - in some Malay based languages like those used in Brunei, Indonesia and Malaysia, 'nonok' is a slang word for pussy. So I found the name of this plant rather amusing. I'm sure BIKSS did too.)

 👈 Nanouk 

I transferred it to a new pot I got just this afternoon (yes, I knew a plant would be coming today and  was out of pots) and then stuck a few hoya carnosa cuttings (which I got from my colleague yesterday) in to send back to her.

 👈 Hoya Carnosa

I didn't take a pic of the coleus..es..esii? cos they looked a little ill having been exposed to a little too much sun today. I'll see how they fare in a few days. Those things are pretty hardy, I'm told.

2. I've decided that I really like it when I leave a comment on someone's blog and they bother to reply. It makes me want to check that blog for a reply a day or 2 later, and then if there's another post up by then, I'll leave another comment... and then I'll come back and check a day or 2 later... rinse and repeat. 

When people don't reply I find myself not bothering to head back there cos there probably won't be a reply for me anyway... so ... 

So if I don't head to your blog for an extended period of time or if you think that I'm not there cos I don't comment, it's safe to say that I may still read, I just don't write cos what would be the point? 

Except of course if I don't leave comments ANYWHERE or if I'm not even posting on my own blog - then it's likely I'm just super busy. 

3. You know who replies but I don't think gets a lot of visitors? Cutiebootie. Check her out. She's on vacay at the moment so the replies and posts might be sporadic. But I love that she always replies my comment! (Of course some of you other suspects always do too, and I love you for it. I'm just sayin', she doesn't get a lot of visitors, so I thought I would do a shoutout.)

My mood pic today ~ 

I'm off for a walk with BIKSS. Ciao for now!

Old Friends and New

As I was reading through some of my old posts and comments, reminiscing, I suppose, I came across a comment that June (of Ward & June) left one one of my posts, Secretes of the Sub Sisterhood mentioning that she had added the link to her favourite posts page on her own blog. 

If you've read there before you might have seen it already. But for some reason I only saw it for the first time today. 

So if you're interested in what some of their favourite posts were around blogland, have a look at THIS PAGE which contains a short description and links to the actual posts. Mind you this was a long time ago, in blogland terms anyway, so some of the links might not take you anywhere at all. But it's worth checking out, especially if you're new to DD / Ds / TTWD etc. 

And I just wanted to take the time to say how much I appreciate my early blogging friends, Conina, Kitty, Faerie, who were the first few to reach out and say "you're not alone and you're not weird"... 

Also, Emen, Bas, Jake, Spanky (and the CWS members) , Del Fonte, Geekie Kitty, Master's Piece, Aisha, Renee Rose, SNP, Ami, Dragon's Rose, and slightly more recently, Lil, Pygar & Abby (I do miss you). 

I'm sure there are more but it would take too long to go thru all my comments and list them all! Because yes, I have forgotten some of the names, but I will never forget that they all (like you) made me feel welcome at a time when I really needed to find some people who were like me. They uplifted, supported, encouraged, challenged, and celebrated me and each other. And I am so glad that the same spirit continues on in blogland today, even tho' individual bloggers may come and go. 

(Some of you are still here  - or I've recently found you again *looks at Bleue and DV* - so I shan't add you to that list! LOL)

Thank you for being my people!

My mood pic today ~

Not Just Clothes on Shein and All Sorts of Pain + a PS

Two totally unrelated topics, I know. But I just had to tell you this. 

Last Friday when I was in bed with a sore foot, I actually was quite naughty asking BIKSS if he had given any thought as to how we could have sex despite the inconvenience! LOL. He said no, but I admitted that I was thinking about it. Haha. The sex was good sex, with a round two blowjob after. But the thing that made it super hot that night was that we played with our crop, on my boobs, on my thighs, on my pussy (WITH undies on).. and then because it was a bit noisy we went and got the cane instead. On my boobs, on my thighs, on my pussy (still with undies on)...  and then he used it on my face... just a tap, enough to sting but no serious lashings. I loved it. Can I just say (again) I really love the cane? 

And we talked a bit about him inflicting pain. In the past he always maintained that he only enjoyed it because he could see how much I  enjoyed receiving the pain. But then pain in itself doesn't turn me on. It's submitting to his pain that does. But if he doesn't want to inflict said pain, then am I submitting to something he wants in the first place? And by the same roundabout theory, if I don't ENJOY the pain for the pain itself, then why bother causing it? HAHA. OK. Anyway, I've been trying to work this out for the longest time, but recently when I've asked him the same question, he's gotten more and more comfortable with the idea that he enjoys hurting me. He does enjoy inflicting pain, he admits. Well then, that's that dilemma solved, I say. 

And he loves to inflict pain on my nipples because I "react" he says. Well, ok, I do like the pinching and twisting BEFORE sex. Or DURING. It really is a magic button. Heh.

But the other thing about nipples... I wrote something about it at the beginning of this blog, I can't remember where (and I've spent too much time trying to look for it, in vain) - one of my exes, wait maybe 2, used to do this thing where they'd sit next to me and cross their arms and use their fingers, hidden under the other arm, to reach across and fiddle with my nipples. I didn't like it. It used to annoy me. Even worse was that I'd told them so but they didn't respect my wishes for it to stop, instead they both insisted "But no one can see... ". But that wasn't the point was it? Pffft. 

So when BIKSS started doing that (IN BED, IN BED, in the privacy of the bedroom because he's a stickler for proper behaviour in public, right down to covering a yawn - yes I get told off every single time, and not with the fondness of a lover but with the sternness of an authoritarian!) I initially flinched and told him that it made me feel cheap and like a piece of meat. 

He reassured me that 1) I'm his sub and he will touch me where he pleases, 2) he only wants to touch my nipples because he loves how they feel in his hands, and he enjoys touching my body in general, 3) that every time he touches them he'll remind me of number 2. And for the most part he has, in the beginning anyway. But I realised that I must have learnt this lesson some time ago, cos I would somehow make mention of it before he did. And that night wasn't any different. 

"I don't like it, but I like it you know?" I told him. "I mean, I'm still not thrilled at having my nipples twiddled with just lying here and hanging out together, but I *do* like that you do it anyway because it reminds me that I'm submitting to you." 

"I know," he said simply. 

And now, on that nipply note, I found these on Shein as I was looking for some white tees for my cousin, since it was free-shipping-day. OK, admittedly they didn't appear out of nowhere. I was searching for nipple covers. And THEN they popped up! (And yes, they sell nipple covers too!)

And since they were so cheap ($3 bucks each, local ccy) I got them both before BIKSS answered my question of "Which one do you think I should get". His answer was also "Ooh, both".

But while I was there, on the "body jewellery" page, I found some other things :

Pretty things no? One doesn't have to only shop the VS site for such things no more.

And then I saw they had a "personal care" section under BEAUTY so I went browsing.... and compiled this bunch of pictures. Wanna play? I'm going to have them numbered... and if you like you can write down what you think they are in the comments below! (Some of them are pretty easy, but others may be less commonly seen in your part of the world.)

And with that I shall bid you all a Happy Week Ahead!

My mood pic today ~

ANOTHER HUGE PS - The announcement this time -  Bleue's blog is back up! And if you already knew this, I'm sorry. I'm kinda late to the party. Thank goodness she popped by yesterday to leave a comment here. Go visit, or make a new friend. Her "about" page is linked here. 

And one for the Guys (and Gals too of course!)

(In which I geek out about fashion / colour so skip this post if it's not your thing.)

So BIKSS has this dark blue / white stripe shirt that is a pretty decent shirt on its own. And in the past he's worn stuff like that before without much problem. But recently I'm finding the grey/white one suits him better than the blue/white version. 

I got to looking at colour contrast and value contrast and lo and behold... his hair colour is affecting how his clothes look on him. 

VALUE CONTRAST

In a nutshell - if you have more contrast between your hair/eyes and your skin, then you're a HIGH value contrast type (like me - blackish hair black eyes, fair skin, especially now that I no longer swim so I don't have that bronze tan no more). 

BIKSS is a low value contrast type cos his hair is mostly silver and his skin isn't the tannest right now (since he hasn't been out in the sun - fishing - in a long long time)!

And so here's a basic rule of matching your colours. Of course, you can (and should) just wear whatever the hell you want if it makes you happy, but if you don't  have anything you love in particular, read on.

This particular website is tailored specifically for guys... so have a go. It's quite simple... altho BIKSS remarked that going thru all this felt like studying for a test. LOL. 

My Hair is in the 9-10 range, and my skin is somewhere around 2. That makes my value contrast more than 7.  ie.  HIGH

BIKSS is 4 and 1 and so his value contrast is 3. ie. LOW

Once you know if you're high, medium, or low value contrast, click the link to see how to choose outfit combinations that suit your natural contrast level.

HOW TO USE CONTRAST TO CREATE KICK-ASS CLOTHING COMBINATIONS

(The summary is, if you're HIGH v.contrast, then you pair dark with light (eg black and white, dark grey and light pink). If you're LOW v.contrast, then you wear light with light or dark with dark (eg charcoal grey with black, beige and white) . If you're MEDIUM then you can afford to mix and match the lights and the darks, but in general, light with medium or medium and dark would suit you best!)

COLOUR CONTRAST

Now that you know your value contrast, work out your COLOUR contrast - ie, how many colours you can handle on your body at any one time. (It roughly boils down to whether your natural body has more "neutrals" or more "colours".)

So I'm more of a neutral, monochromatic, maybe analogous colouring - Dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, and a beige/slightly rosy skintone. BIKSS is pretty much the same, in terms of colour contrast. Meaning, we probably look our best in just all neutrals, shades of just ONE colour (find out what your season colour is in the links I posted here), or mostly neutral + one small colour accent. (As opposed to someone who has red hair and blue eyes and could wear a super colourful bright top!) 

This video explains it quite simply - 

How to figure out your colour contrast

There was another website that I found some time ago, but I can't figure out how to get back there... sigh. The fleeting nature of internet searches!

However this website also has a very simple way of figuring our your colour contrast - 

Start by reading this - 

Let’s clarify the basics!

Hair: Brown, Grey, and some Blonde hair is neutral. Redheads and very yellow-haired Blondes have colored hair. Hair dyed “unnatural colors” (green, pink, unicorn, mermaid, etc.) is also colored hair.

Eyes: Brown and grey eyes are neutral; blue, green, violet, and hazel eyes are colored.

Skin: Skin is a little more nuanced… Most people I meet have neutral skin, but some have very pink or very yellowish skin; these read as colored for Color Contrast purposes. Some people confuse having a dark complexion with having colored skin, but dark complexions–like fair–can be neutral or colored.

(BIKSS and I are both 3Ns - neutral hair, neutral eyes, neutral skin -neither pink nor yellow ie LOW colour contrast.)

To find out if you're high or low colour contrast, you will need to know how many Ns you are and how many Cs.

And then you'll be able to tell whether you look the most balanced in a monochromatic outfit or in a combo that contains multiple colours! 

THIS website also has the same neutral vs colour method - the chart is easier to read on this one, but I prefer the descriptions of what to wear in the previous link. Have a look - 

OK, I see how this can be complicated. I didn't realise till I was writing this post. But if you stick with it you'll either be able to figure out why some outfits work and others don't, or like me, you'll go "A-ha... that explains the colours in my wardrobe and how I put things together!" 

My wardrobe consists of mostly neutrals: lots of blacks, a few whites and some dark browns and navies. I have coloured tops but most are flat (plain, non printed), or monochromatic if they are patterned. I like wearing HIGH value contrast outfits, like black and white, or a coloured top and black pants, but LOW colour contrast - so just one colour at a time - today I had on a white and navy striped top with navy pants. Altho one could argue that navy might also count as being a neutral. When I do wear jeans, my tops are either blue or black. Leopard prints? No biggie. A black or brown piece works great with it. 

This also explains why when I wore my medium leopard skirt with a beige/cream top during Chinese New Year, my mum commented that it was a terrible colour on me. Cream is just NOT my colour. And there probably wasn't enough value contrast. (Of the three outfits in that post, the red one probably looked the best on me.)

I'm glad my gut figured this out on its own without me first having to learn all of it. But it was fun finding out the logic behind why it works!

And if all that was too much trouble, you can just try and suss out what colour contrast means from in this pic - 

one colour - low c.contrast 

two colours (usually analogous, or next to each other on the colour wheel) - medium c.contrast 

more than two colours - high c.contrast (or two complementary colours on the colour wheel) 

But now you've reached the end of Fashion Contrast 101!  Feel free to tell me what contrast levels you are in the comments below! 

My mood pic today ~

HUGE PS - There's a new blogger in town. Have a visit at Claire's if you haven't already, and let's show her some blogging love! 

Anal on my Mind

Been reading at Anarie Brady's blog again.. and it definitely has the ability to get me all tingly and itching for some action!

So I got to thinking, we haven't played in the back for a bit, and on a good poop day (is that TMI?) I wouldn't mind exploring again... 

But what if things are so tight that he can't get in? I mean, in the past we played regularly enough, if not very often, but that was a LONG time ago. I can't even remember the last time anything went NEAR my um, you know... back there! 

So today I thought I might be pro-active and went to fetch an easy-peasy plug to use while I had a shower. And a cum. In the shower. 

I'm glad to say it didn't cause any trouble going in, and, in fact, felt quite comfortable. I've definitely had more resistance to it in the past... so that was a good sign. 

Maybe I should be more diligent about regularly "practice" so that whenever we DO get a chance to explore I'll not be totally unprepared. 

Dear readers... do any of you have a "training" routine or plan that you follow to ensure things move more smoothly when your alternate entryway is called into play?

I'd be curious to know how you keep it ready for action!

My mood pic today ~ 

Shopping Updates and Random Links and Things

I'm running off to dinner in my new balloon-sleeved white top later. It's a little see thru, as is the case with most white tops... but I found this link with "best bra under white" advice some time ago and have yet to put it to the test. I'll try it out later. But it should be LESS obvious than a white bra under, surely. 

RED BRA UNDER WHITE TOPS

Let me know what are your tricks to get away with translucent white tops without looking too "obvious"!

Also, since there was free shipping, I took the opportunity to pick up two more white tees, AND these black faux leather pants - 

And if you're still not sure, now's a good time to try SHEIN out - cos FREE SHIPPING till 3/3. At least to my country. (No, I'm not sponsored. I just think it's a good site where you can get decently made stuff for less than store-bought.) 

PLUS they really aren't too bad once you get the hang of MEASURING everything. And it's not just cos I'm Asian and these are NOT just Asian-sized clothes. Just ask Mrs Fever.  I'm actually very relieved her haul didn't let her down. Phew. I would have felt terrible if it didn't work for her! 

The best thing is, I get to try new styles, or rather, NOT my usual styles, at a lower cost / price point than if I were to go out and pick one up from Zara or whatever. And if I ended up not getting a lot of wear from something at least I won't feel as badly as if I'd gone and spent 40 or 50 bucks on it. 

Well, so we're off to that Halal Chinese restaurant I mentioned before, I'm pretty excited to see what they have on the menu.  As long as I don't have to eat any artisanal cheese I think I'll be ok. 

Or any weird shaped cakes. Have you seen this article about a cake in the shape of a man in a hospital bed? It was just freaky. I mean, what is WRONG with people? 

I like my food to just be regular food on a regular plate please. 

And then after that, maybe some good ol' fashioned regular sex. Nothing kinky... or foreign. 

I'll admit. I did read till the end. Did you? I only did so cos I wondered if there would be a translation. Nope. Tsk. 

And before I'm late I shall head to the shower pronto. But before I go, I shall leave you with THIS trippy pic. Imagine trying to get up and down THOSE stairs! Good thing my staircase DOESN'T look like that. At least if I'm late all I have to do is navigate a bunch of regular grey cement steps!

Happy Tuesday you lot. Let me know if you had any favourite things today!

Mom Jeans and Afternoon Tea

No I don't mean jeans for my mother. They're for me. 'Mom Jeans' - that's what this style is called.

Been looking for something more relaxed, high waisted, casual and comfy. Not that my current pair isn't comfy. It's just, it's one of those stretchy fitted types. And sometimes I really just want to slouch in a pair of loose-fit jeans. I ended up ordering these - from Shein - if you go NOW they're having a CNY promo offering free standard shipping, no minimum purchase required. 

At the time of writing this post there's 15 hours left to take advantage of it. 

From the reviews I gather it's a thinner type denim so I'm hoping it will prove less problematic when the weather starts to heat up in a month or two. 

Anyway, the buying of the jeans reminded me of a comment exchange on Prefectdt's blog - but since I am not in possession of such a fine ass, I shall go the "comfortable" route instead.

I also picked up some other things, one of which is a dress (the black one below) that costs something like USD$5.80. 

*Smiles conspiratorially at Mrs Fever*  Pssst... free shipping... now's the time if you wanna give Shein a try.

I suspect it might be a bit too short for work, but that's ok as I can just wear it as a tunic over my tights. I never seem to be able to find tops long enough to cover my crotch. And I definitely don't think one's crotch should be showing when one is wearing tights - especially to work!

The red dress is a bit of a splurge. It's about USD$12.50 - anything more than 10 bucks is a splurge to me - but I absolutely fell in love with the colour and the style, and simply had to have it. 

So far they've managed to get my stuff to me within a week, so I shouldn't have to wait too long for these, I don't think. 

Oh and on the topic of outfits - this was yesterday's CNY outfit (day 3) :

That was one of the Dorothy Perkins pieces from my animal print frenzy purchase. I was planning on wearing it to work today, as I only had it on for 2 hours yesterday, but decided in the morning that the print was a bit much. So I switched out the top for something simpler. 

I wore a sleeveless shell and threw on a jacket blouse over it, which turned out to be a fabulous idea cos we spent the day having afternoon tea and roaming around the shops and the a/c got rather too cold at some points. 

The lower tier was a selection of breads. 

I like that they bothered to toast the sandwiches that were best eaten warm. 

The upper tier was a selection of scones and cupcakes, with some jam, 

marmalade (absolutely delicious!) and clotted cream, of course.

The one lone scone that I just couldn't squeeze down my hatch 

so I smeared the cream and preserves on it and took it on the road with me. 

And *that* was our Valentine's Day Tea. Today. (Cos it was all Chinese New Year this and Chinese New Year that and no one really remembered Valentine's Day at all!)

My mood pic today ~ 

Discussions and Mindsets - What about the Pre-Spanking Psyche?

There has been a lot of activity at Morningstar's place lately and if you haven't been there to visit and join the chat yet, I encourage you to head over there and join the discussion.

We talk about aftercare a lot. But what about the "before-a-spanking"?

First the gist of the event:

Last Monday I got into a bit of a tiff with BIKSS over something that I shan't dive into in detail because, really, it was just one of those relationship things that happens from time to time. 

Suffice it to say that I was disappointed at something but eventually found time to communicate to him that it wasn't so much the thing itself (because his logic for the decision was very sound) but that his delivery of it made me feel, well, pretty sucky. (Plus, Mondays are always busy days for me at work and that is probably the WORST time in the world to give me 'bad' news.)

Eventually he got round to explaining the reason for his 'something' and I understood why he did it. I can't say I'm pleased with the situation or that it doesn't bug me, but I don't blame him. And that's an important distinction, for me at least. 

Which brings me to the discussion about aftercare. While we all know that for the spankee it is so, so crucial in reinforcing that feeling of being cherished and loved and knowing that we (for I am of the spankee species) are safe and not just a thing to be smacked around (unless that's your thing, but this isn't what I'm talking about here...), BIKSS has also shared with me that as a spanker, he finds that engaging in aftercare is reassuring for him, in that my accepting it lets him know that I'm not going to suddenly turn around and scream abuse, or as I said on Morningstar's blog, that *this* is not the straw that's going to break the kinky camel's back. 

I'm not sure I'm doing a terribly fabulous job of explaining this, but I hope you get what I'm trying to say: that after every 'rough' session (whether it's impact play, bondage, whatever) there is a fear that the spankee may feel ashamed / afraid / turned off / pushed beyond limits to the point that she (or he, but I'll just use she) calls it quits. And the closeness and loving that comes from/during aftercare provides reassurance to not just the spankee but the spanker as well. 

And now that we have THAT sorted, the event on Monday got me thinking about the Before-a-Spank too. Given that I was feeling miffed and upset and disappointed earlier in the day, I don't think it would have been a good idea to just jump into a spanking session, even if for play/fun, despite the fact that I might have come across as being back to my normal self. 

Wait, I have so many thoughts jumping around in my head right now, I'm going to try and put them here in as organised a fashion as I possibly can. But you will forgive me if it comes out a bit jumbled.

1 - I KNOW in my brain that I have nothing to be upset with him about. 

2 - BUT knowing in your brain doesn't mean the rest of your 'mood' automatically gets updated and synced to line up with your brain.

3 - Fake it till you make it is a thing for me. When I know I shouldn't be pulling a long face and being morose, especially if it means ruining whatever time we'll be spending together, I try to put on a brave front and focus on the positive things rather than be moody. I don't think of it as 'pretending' per se, just making a conscious effort to be un-gloomy, for that never did anyone any good - and I don't want to end up with an evening spent on grouch island. ESPECIALLY when I know at some point the rest of me will catch up with my brain and be over it. 

4 - BUT sometimes this means that I look normal and fine and if the opportunity presents itself we might end up with some sexy playtime.

5 - If sexy playtime is too soon after the emotional impact of the bad 'thing' affecting me then it is almost inevitable that I end up feeling even worse than before. 

6 - Which is why knowing oneself is super super important, and being able to communicate oneself's feelings to one's other half is probably even MORE important. And sometimes I just say - "I don't feel up to it, and I may or may not know why I'm feeling this way, but I'm not ready to talk about it or I don't know how to put it in words to tell you about it yet."

7 - This sometimes gets the conversation re-started. It's not unheard of for a tiff to appear to have been sorted out, only to discover later on during one of these talks that there was more to it than either of us thought. 

8 - THESE are the kinds of Pre-Spank-Psyche checks that I sometimes think are just as, if not more, important than aftercare. 

For if either party isn't completely honest with themselves and their partner in terms of how they're feeling about something that happened, or the other person's attitude or behaviour, or something that they did that hurt you, then I can only imagine the kind of damage that could be done to one's feelings / spirit / soul / heart... call it what you will. 

9 - Sometimes the conversation doesn't get re-started right away, but we spend time cuddling or he holds me and we just let our (read: my) feelings settle down a bit in a safe and reassuring space.

10 - These quiet hold-me-close moments tell me I'm important, and how I'm feeling is valid, and if I need him to just be with me then that's what he'll do, without needing any further explanation. 

To ignore one's feelings or dismiss them as nothing, or be told that one is over-reacting can stir up all sorts of feelings of mistrust, resentment, all that nasty stuff. And I don't think there is any reason to inflict that kind of pain on yourself or your partner.

I mean, in my opinion, the only thing that should hurt from all of this is your butt!

My mood pic today ~ 

Stolen from KD - Q&A of TMI Redux

This was taken off KD's blog on Sunday - Have a look here for more answers from other bloggers / readers on his blog, and do pay him a visit if you don't already read there regularly.

Those of you who have already posted this on your own blog please let me know or leave a link to it in a comment below. 

If you would like to play along after this, be sure to let us know so we can go visit your blog. If you would like to leave your answers as a comment instead that's fine too. Just be warned this is a rather LONG questionnaire and Blogger might limit the number of characters. 

(Scroll to the end of this post for the list of Questions so you don't have to copy my answers along with the questions if you want to play along.)

Here we go!

1. About how old were you when you first knew you were kinky?

I don’t even know that the term meant the same thing to a younger me as it does to me now. But I guess bondage was something I was keen to explore since I was in my late teens… 

2. Will you eat something if it falls on the floor?

Yes. My house is a bit of an OCD zone (looks at Morningstar *high five*)

3. Have you ever kept a personal memento of a lover like their hair or nail clippings…….or other?

No. And no. And ew. No.

4. If you could affordably and safely keep any unusual animal as a pet, what would you choose?

Can I get a unicorn?.

5. If you could tell someone from your past about your lifestyle, who would it be?

Nobody.

6. Who was the absolute worst person you’ve ever known?

I’m lucky in that I don’t think there is ONE who stands out, altho my brother is my current Worst Person Award winner. And I think his wife could share his number one spot too.

7. If you could enact a law, what would it be and what would the penalty be for breaking it?

So many. Parent / old people abuse. Child abuse. Partner abuse. Abuse in general I think. Life in prison and have everything they own taken away to be disbursed to the person they’ve abused. Seriously. It sucks.

8. If the only way you could continue to live a kinky lifestyle was to switch to the role opposite of the one you are currently in, would you or could you do it?

Yea, probably. With both the women I dated I was the more dominant partner. Not in any spanky sort of way, but I was definitely the one leading the relationship.

9. If you could be part of a TV family would you choose the Partridge family, the Addams family, or the Waltons?

I’m only familiar with the Addams family so I can’t answer this question

10. Has anyone besides you or your S.O. ever seen your or your S.O.’s butt when it was still red from a spanking, and if so, who was it?

Nope. Aside from the pics I’ve put up on the blog.

11. If you had to dispatch a zombie, other than a gun, what would be your implement of choice?

High pressured water jet / hose thing.

12. Would you rather fool around with a vampire, alien, or mer-maid/man?

Vampire or werewolf (even tho that wasn’t an option), for hot and heavy wild fooling around, but perhaps a merman for sexy playful water frolicking fun. I do enjoy the water. 

13. Have you ever professed your religious tolerance by saying, “I don’t care what you believe as long as you believe in something.”?

Nope. It doesn’t matter to me, really. Some of my best buds are atheists.

14. In which fictional bar would you prefer to drink: Quark’s Bar, Cheers Pub, Rick’s Café Americain, or the Leaky Cauldron?

I think I might have a good time in all of them. 

15. What is your fondest memory involving a nipple?

Any sort of nipple play is a good memory. I love having them pinched, scratched, smacked, clamped… 

16. Confess the most prejudiced or un-PC thing you actually believe to be true.

Erm I have SO many... I couldn't say. All I will say is that the racial stereotypes prove themselves to be true time and time again.

17. What’s the most desperate thing you’ve ever used to wipe your butt?

A piece of cloth that I promptly threw in the bin. LOL

18. When you finally die, how would you like to go out? And conversely, what is the worst way to die?

I’m all for the peacefully-in-my-sleep death. And I think drowning would really suck. 

19. What was the strangest way you ever achieved an orgasm?

I don’t think there was ever a strange way. I do remember the earliest way - when I was a pre-teen I would use the bidet and take too long to wash, then when I was nice and worked up I would pull up my underwear run back to my room and lock the door, and sitting on the edge of my bed with my feet stretched out in front of me on the floor I would then lean back on my elbows and squeeze my thighs together. Seems like a lot of work for a cum now lol.

20. If you could get away with it, who would you most like to bludgeon to death?

I would love to have some people axed but I don’t think I would do it myself, and definitely not by bludgeoning.

21. Can you eat with chopsticks?

Yes . I’m Chinese and I live in Asia. So there’s a higher chance of this being a yes for me, statistically.

22. What sexual experiment of yours ended the most disastrously?

We tried a role playing thing in 2013 that ended up horribly. I couldn’t separate real from role and my brain just couldn’t handle it. 

23.If you suddenly went all 1950’s Sci-Fi, would you rather begin to grow or shrink………….and how would you work that into your sex life?

Definitely grow. I feel like if I shrank I’d be too small to live comfortably. But also If I could be a little bigger I’d be able to straddle BIKSS comfortably and then ride him 6 ways to Monday. 

24.Which sounds most like ‘you’: A kaleidoscope……… a. works on principles of physics and optics, b. is a toy you’ll never see these darned modern day kids enjoying, c. is a rainbow in a blender, or d. reminds me of my last acid trip?

A. works on principles of physics and optics :  I’m practical and a bit on the spectrum that way. 

25.And finally………. just what is the largest (or strangest) thing you’ve ever had up your ass?

Probably that gold plug BIKSS got from Germany, being the largest. I don’t think I’ve ever had strange things up my ass unless you count the ginger from when we tried figging. Is that ‘strange’ tho?

My mood pic today ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's the list of questions without answers for you to copy and paste on your blog or answer as a comment: 

1.About how old were you when you first knew you were kinky?

 

2.Will you eat something if it falls on the floor?

 

3.Have you ever kept a personal memento of a lover like their hair or nail clippings…….or other?

 

4.If you could affordably and safely keep any unusual animal as a pet, what would you choose?

 

5.If you could tell someone from your past about your lifestyle, who would it be?

 

6.Who was the absolute worst person you’ve ever known?

 

7.If you could enact a law, what would it be and what would the penalty be for breaking it?

8.If the only way you could continue to live a kinky lifestyle was to switch to the role opposite of the one you are currently in, would you or could you do it?

 

9.If you could be part of a TV family would you choose the Partridge family, the Addams family, or the Waltons?

10.Has anyone besides you or your S.O. ever seen your or your S.O.’s butt when it was still red from a spanking, and if so, who was it?

11.If you had to dispatch a zombie, other than a gun, what would be your implement of choice?

12.Would you rather fool around with a vampire, alien, or mer-maid/man?

13.Have you ever professed your religious tolerance by saying, “I don’t care what you believe as long as you believe in something.”?

14.In which fictional bar would you prefer to drink: Quark’s Bar, Cheers Pub, Rick’s Café Americain, or the Leaky Cauldron?

15. What is your fondest memory involving a nipple?

16.Confess the most prejudiced or un-PC thing you actually believe to be true.

17.What’s the most desperate thing you’ve ever used to wipe your butt?

18.When you finally die, how would you like to go out? And conversely, what is the worst way to die?

19.What was the strangest way you ever achieved an orgasm?

 

20.If you could get away with it, who would you most like to bludgeon to death?

21.Can you eat with chopsticks?

22. What sexual experiment of yours ended the most disastrously?

 

23.If you suddenly went all 1950’s Sci-Fi, would you rather begin to grow or shrink………….and how would you work that into your sex life?

24.Which sounds most like ‘you’: A kaleidoscope……… a. works on principles of physics and optics, b. is a toy you’ll never see these darned modern day kids enjoying, c. is a rainbow in a blender, or d. reminds me of my last acid trip?

25.And finally………. just what is the largest (or strangest) thing you’ve ever had up your ass?

More Blogs With Things to Say

Many have taken a hiatus from posting only-kinky things to speak up and take a stand.

Have a read at Bonnie's if you haven't already :

What Must Be Said

And from a couple days ago, DaddyCat - (I hope you don't mind that I'm linking your post)

Dear White People…You Want Back to Normal…Black People Are Dying From Normal

That is all. Have a good week ahead.

Recommended Weekend Reads and Videos

I haven't done a follow friday post in forever. And it's Saturday where I live. 

But still, I saw some of these over the last couple of days (and browsing blogs this morning) so I thought I would share some videos / links. 

This pic appeared on my FB feed and I shared it immediately. It's absolutely the truth right now. 

Dave Wolfe has expressed an opinion I can definitely get behind. Have a look at his latest post here - 

Interrupting the Slapstick

I also caught (and finally watched all 18 mins of) Trevor Noah's video on what I've taken to calling "the US mess" - you might enjoy it. Click this link if the video below doesn't play for you. 

Trevor Noah On George Floyd, Amy Cooper & Racism In Society

Dr Mike has also weighed in on the Black Lives Matter situation. The video can be found here. 

Or click below. 

My Thoughts On Protests & Coronavirus Update

Meanwhile, there's good news and bad news... first, the bad news. 

Russia Declares Emergency After Arctic Oil Spill

Are you kidding world? We don't need MORE problems. I mean, thawing permafrost. Exactly what we need. 😢

The good news? 

New Zealand to provide free sanitary products in schools to fight period poverty

This makes me happy. I don't think women's (and girls') O and G problems are talked about enough.  And when something as matter-of-fact as a monthly period affects a girl's education, then it definitely warrants some talking about. 

Most people seem to think it's gross and private and there is definitely some shame attached to it - especially in Asia - and the general consensus is that proper ladies don't talk about it. Not even to each other. And that sucks.

And it's appalling how little we know about the potential conditions associated with "women's problems". The general public knows more about health risks of smoking, carcinogens, simple sugars, and cholesterol, than breast cancer, fibroids, or ovarian cysts. Ask a bunch of guys what a PAP smear entails and what it tests for and I'll bet fewer than half will be able to give you an answer. And to be fair, ask the ones who are married or permanently tethered to a female partner. I should expect them to be more aware than their bachelor counterparts. And I bet more women know about prostate cancer than men do about cervical cancer. 

But maybe that's just where I live. No one is talking about peri-menopause. No one talks about pap smears. No one mentions anything to do with periods. Period. LOL. But we freely throw around cholesterol numbers, Hba1c values, and compare BP stats. We talk about medications for weight loss, discuss supplements for headaches, and claim to know everything about the benefits of acai berries and chia seeds.

So I think this is a step in the right direction. When decision makers aren't afraid to talk about subjects that are traditionally seen to be "taboo", the conversations can begin.

Oh, and given the state of the world right now... THIS. just this. I'm not sure if this is a post from this year... but hell, we don't need to be opening ANY new caves for the next 10 years at least. 

And now I will leave you with this post that I stole from FB. 

A Justin Pletcher shared this on his wall... and his post is set to public, so I don't think he would mind too much if I copied and shared it here. First he posts two pics - 

....and accompanying the pictures he writes : -

Two Pictures:

May 25th, 2020 was my 10-year anniversary of becoming a cop. In the first picture I posted, my wife is surprising me with a cake and my son is helping me blow out the candles. It was an important day for me, because – as most of you know – I’ve always wanted to be a police officer. As soon as professional hockey player and R& B singer were no longer options, there was no other choice for me. I went to college, joined the army, served in Kuwait/Iraq, all to be better prepared for becoming a police officer. When I moved back to Minneapolis, I was certain I would be a cop for MPD, but due to the financial crisis this wasn’t really a possibility. Not many places were hiring so I applied anywhere I could. When Columbia Heights gave me the job, I was thrilled. Not only was I working for a diverse city, but I was literally working on the border of Minneapolis. For the next ten years I learned what it was to truly become a police officer. It wasn’t about the tickets and the arrests, it was about the partnerships you made. Don’t get me wrong, I love the action of the job but it’s not what fuels me to make this world a better place.

On same day as my 10-year anniversary, officers from the Minneapolis Police Department murdered George Floyd. There’s no other way to put this; this was a murder. I’ve watched the video so many times now, just trying to find some justification for the actions these men took, but I can assure you there are none. I watch this video and I get angry and I get sad and I clench my teeth and I hold back my tears and I ask, “Why!?” I say this not only as a police officer, but as a white man in America. I understand the pain it causes me even if I don’t understand the reason for this violence. What I don’t understand is the pain and fear it must cause all people of color, especially black men. We live in two different worlds and no matter what I’ve done while I’ve worn this uniform, this has not changed. I may have changed moments but I have not changed the world like I thought I would.

I’m not writing this to tell you, “I support you” or “I understand.” I do and I don’t, respectively, but that’s not the point of this post. The point of this post is to just tell you that I love you and that I’m sorry. I’m sorry George Floyd is dead. I’m sorry Philando Castille is dead. I’m sorry Eric Garner is dead. I’m sorry Sandra Bland is dead. I’m sorry Tamir Rice is dead. I want to tell you that I wish I was the cop who encountered them, because maybe they’d be alive today. I want to tell you that there are good police officers out there, trying to make this world a better place. I want to tell you everything I have done over the last 10 years to make people’s lives better, but I know right now none of that matters. Right now I just want to tell you that I’m listening.

Today was my first day back since this incident occurred. Last night, as my wife and I laid in bed, I could hear the flash bangs going off at the 3rd precinct, less than a mile from my house. Today I got out of bed at the last possible second and barely made it to work on time. I was dreading putting on my uniform but I did it, because that’s what I do. I’m a police officer, in good times and bad. We watched the video again as a shift and every one of my officers was upset. One of my officers came up to me several hours later and told me that he had never watched the full video and now that he has, he still felt sick 6 hours later. We talked about George Floyd and his cries for help. We talked about George Floyd and his limp body. We talked about George Floyd in the past tense because police officers had suffocated his present tense. And as a shift we mourned an unnecessary death.

My second dispatched call of the day today was a phone call. I called the number and a man named Calvin answered. Calvin said that he was a health inspector and that he would be inspecting some neighborhood homes today. Calvin said, “I’m a big black man with dreads,” and he wanted to make sure that police were aware in case we got a call about him walking around the neighborhood. Calvin asked that I come out there to verify his employment so I could squash any calls before they became something bigger. I obliged and I apologized to him for this even being necessary, but I told him I understood. Anyway, I arrived and we exchanged pleasantries when I noticed he had an Omega Psi Phi bracelet on, which is a black fraternity known as "Q." I told him my roommate in college was a Q, making the hand gestures, and that one of my officers now was a Q. Calvin smiled, I smiled, and all of a sudden the apprehension in the air immediately dissipated. He ended up knowing my college roommate pretty well, and we decided we would spend the next hour walking the neighborhood together. Calvin was about 15 years older than me, but we talked about how we both loved to travel and about our kids. We spoke about George Floyd and police brutality, and how it's a different world for black men. We talked about the importance of getting to know people and how racism is borne of fear and ignorance. Calvin spoke and I listened.

This second picture is of me and Calvin. At the end, we both said almost simultaneously how much we needed this today. We were both hurting and this was a small ray of light into a darkness that had covered us. We would have hugged but, being that we both believe in doctors and science, we elbow-bumped instead. We exchanged information and took this picture. An hour later my old college roommate texted me saying he heard I met Calvin and how happy that made him. Calvin then texted me a few hours after that saying that he believed things happened for a reason and that we would see each other again. I believe him. I'm not a religious guy and I mostly chalk things up to chance, but it really seemed that the universe was communicating today - at least to Calvin and me.

I’m not writing this to tell you that everything is going to be okay. I honestly don’t know if it will be. I have hope, otherwise everything I’m doing would lose meaning. I’m not telling people to not be angry or to not protest. Black people should be angry. White people should be angry. I’m angry. I’m just writing this to tell you that I love you all and that I’m here to listen to you, whenever you’re ready to talk. If you’re black and hurt and you don’t understand policing, I’m here to listen. If you’re white and you feel lost and you don’t know how to use your voice, I’m here to listen. I’ll answer what I can, and when I can’t we’ll work together to find the answers.

We need to listen to each other. We need to support each other. I’m only as good of a police officer as my community says I am. If my community doesn’t trust me, I need to listen. If my community fears me, I need to listen. I met Calvin today and I listened, and because of this I gained an ally and a friend. I know enough about change to know that you can’t tell people what to do, you need to listen to them and build change together. So please listen to me for this brief moment as I tell you this one thing: I’m here. Not for you, but with you. I am, have been, and will be a member of this team. Our team. I’m here. As both a police officer and as your friend. So speak. I’m listening.

Love,

Justin

What's On My Youtube Playlist and Video Samplers

Last week someone asked me what channels I watch on Youtube, so I thought I might share them with you too.

Number 1 - 

First up, thanks to Mrs Fever, I'm now hooked on zefrank1's "True Facts" videos. If you enjoy nature / animal documentaries in general, and have a dirty mind and love off-colour humour, check out his videos. You can read more about him (and his previous work) here. (The "human test" vids are also very entertaining.)

Here's one which I particularly enjoyed:

Number 2 -

There's the Catholic channel from the church mum and I attend - now that we're not going to Mass every week due to the Covid thing, I send her the links to the Sunday Masses so she can follow along at home. 

This is actually working out much better for her as they have subtitles and she can follow along more easily - sometimes when we're there IRL the words on the screens flash by too quickly, and she's not got the greatest hearing so a lot of what the priest says goes by in a blur for her. 

They also put up the weekday Masses, Saturday Novenas and Stations of the Cross devotions now that it's Lent. 

Number 3 - 

OK. Next - Shea Whitney. She's my style inspiration for all the recent shopping I've been doing. 

Check out this mixed playlist or go straight to her channel if you want to check out the different categories of videos she makes.

Here's one that I enjoyed - (altho I do like ALL her style-tips types)

Number 4 - 

For those more serious moments, aka when I have a bit more time and am in the mood for expanding my mind - TED TALKS! 

There's the main TED channel that I subscribe to, but they also have other channels like TEDx, TED Fellow, TED-Ed etc. Click on the "about" tab on each one to explore further. I sometimes click on the TED-Ed videos too as the animations are pretty easy to follow when learning about new stuff.

You can also go directly to their website.

Here's a video on something that's on a lot of people's minds at the moment -

Number 5 -  

And speaking of learning new stuff - Crash Course came in very useful when I was doing my nutrition course.  Here's the trailer, I think it speaks for itself - 

Number 6 & 7 & 8 - 

Of course not everything has to be about education, learning and all that deep & serious stuff. I enjoy a good laugh too - this is where Gabriel Iglesias comes in. He's just hilarious. 

I also like Dry Bar Comedy. But I don't have a very long attention span when it comes to comedy. So it helps that it features different comedians.

Jeanne Robertson is also really funny, and I love her accent!

I've seen this clip a couple of times and I still chuckle at all the right places -

Number 9 - 

Patriot Act : Hasan Minhaj 

It's probably not the kind of thing my friends would put me down for watching, since I don't like ANYTHING politics. But he's got some good stuff - and not always about politics :) 

Number 10 and one last not-subscribed-to channel - 

The last two are medical-related.

Doctor Mike is easy on the eye and has a really cute Newfoundland called Bear. I love the way he interacts with his doggo, and of course, his explanations of medical stuff. He's got some videos with his nephews, he does a "Doctor reacts" series to medical dramas like Greys and House and The Good Doctor, and also does collabs with other youtubers. 

Check out the videos here on his channel.

This is his older intro video -

And this is 2020's "Welcome to my channel" video -

The final one I'm adding to this list I don't actually subscribe to, but because I have annoying joint pain from time to time (the most problematic right now being my shoulder) I do go to her channel to search for specific things.

So, for all things physiotherapy-related, I Ask Doctor Jo. This one, for example, is a really good video for shoulder tendonitis... the pendulum is by far my favourite exercise / stretch. 

And there you have it. My Youtube list - I hope you enjoyed some of these, and do let me know if you ended up subscribing to any of these!