I was over at Ella's reading her
Chapter One Story and thought this LOL weekend might be a good time to think and reflect on mine, and how we moved over the years.
First off, you need to know that BIKSS and I are engaged in an illicit affair and if that offends your senses then this might not be the blog for you.
However, despite the possibility of being judged / scoffed at / disapproved of, I continue to write because life isn't nearly always neat and tidy.
When I started blogging I had many more blogland friends who were in non-traditional relationships.
Some were with their doms / subs because their husbands / wives were not giving them what they needed / wanted. Some, like me, just fell in love with the wrong guy / girl. Others were going through rough times and needed someone outside the marriage who could understand them and accept them for who they were without judgement. Whatever the reason, I felt like there were others like me. I wasn't a total monster. And it was a lovely period in my blogging life.
I made some awesome friends - guys, girls, old, young, subs, doms, tops, bottoms. There were TTWD practitioners, DD believers, spankos and spankees. And I learnt more from blogging and commenting and visiting blogs than I could possibly ever from just reading "stock" literature.
Sadly, a lot of them are no longer active. Some have passed on. Others have given up the lifestyle. I am still glad to visit the blogs I have on my roll (to the right -->) but many of the writers are part of a bona-fide married relationship. And sometimes I feel like an imposter, so I don't comment too much. Which kinda makes me a semi-lurker too, I suppose.
But if you're still here reading this (and I do appreciate all my visitors!) and would like to take a little trip down memory lane with me, here is our Chapter One Story in brief (or as brief as I can make it).
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BIKSS and I had been flirting with each other for decades. I've known him forever. We've always had a little soft spot for each other, but neither knew cos we never said anything. Until we were both way grown up and he had gotten married and had kids.
We continued being friends, and met regularly, if not often.
On my part, I had always been slightly enamoured of him. Even in his younger days he was what one might call "strapping". He had joined the military, and well, a man in uniform does a lot of things for this girl. He was well-spoken, had a wicked sense of humour and all that... and he understood me. He was always my "gay best friend" only he wasn't gay. He just wasn't available.
Anyway, after a particularly painful series of breakups (yes, two in the span of 2 years) I had gotten sick of it all. I was out partying, being wild, throwing caution to the wind. BIKSS would come with me when I went out on the town. Not every single time, but when he could.
It was his way of keeping an eye on me. He wasn't convinced that I knew what I was doing and he didn't want me ending up in a ditch or nothin'.
We had been talking about whether it was possible to reach across a woman and finger her in a particular stance, and one night while we were out boozing we found an opportunity to "
block the scene". A lot of alcohol and the shedding of inhibitions led to us making out in a deserted stairwell. That night, thanks to a blood-glucose situation I passed out and he took me home, shoved me into bed and let himself out.
2 nights later he came round to my place to see how I was doing, and something made me grab his hand and pull him into the bedroom. The rest is, well, this. (
CLICK HERE for the actual Story of BIKSS post from 2012.)
I left for a 4 day vacation with my folks the following day, during which time we texted back and forth and I sent him a link to a TiH (Taken in Hand - at the time this was the only TTWD-esque type of relationship I knew about) website telling him that that was the kind of relationship I was interested in. I'm glad we had the few days apart cos I don't think (like many who have shared their beginning stories) I could have said any of this to him IN PERSON. I would just die.Well, so I did all this sharing and unburdening from a different country.
And even then I knew of all the guys I had jumped into bed (and / or a relationship) with no one had my trust the way BIKSS did. Not enough that I would even entertain the idea of having such a relationship with them, let alone mention it to them.
BIKSS read everything I sent him. Asked me a million questions. Probed and dug and tried to understand what it was I was telling him. (We did continue the discussions in person when I got back. But at least the topic was already out there.) What if this happened? What about in this scenario? Let's say you did this and I did this, what then? There were so many conversations that followed - I'm certain the opening up of communication channels had already begun - we didn't have to begin the lifestyle to see how it could help two people communicate better.
Long story short, we went through a bunch of trials and errors. We talked about DD, TiH, punishment; discovered the term TTWD; we experimented with maintenance spankings, good girl spankings, sexy spankings; we tried various honorifics, set up some rules, dismantled them, decided on rituals, tweaked some, abandoned others; we read blogs and sites and articles.
Eventually we found out about DD/lg (
about a year later) and suddenly everything felt right. Calling him Daddy was the most natural thing in the world. I didn't have to "learn" it, or get used to it, or feel self-conscious about it. It rolls off my tongue as easily as "fuck" does. And trust me. I swear a lot. Like a sailor. He's a sailor. I swear more than he does. That's saying something.
Crap. That DOES say something. I digress.
Where was I?
Yes, there is a point. My point is, I don't have a neat relationship status that you can tie up with a bow and stick on the front porch. Most of my life isn't what one might call "standard" anyway. But whether you're part of a married couple (or an actual dating and out-there couple) , or in a weird (read:non traditional) relationship - love triangle, illicit affair, or are a mistress, two-timer, many-timer, serial adulterer (you get the gist...), we don't judge, and you're always welcome on my blog. And if you ever want to ask anything, I'd be happy to share my/our thoughts and experiences with you. (Emails are welcome too!)
So Happy LOL Day! If you've always wanted to leave a comment or drop an email (to any of the bloggers, that is, not just me) NOW'S THE TIME! And if you want to go back into hiding till next LOL day, that's fine too!
PS - The place where I live is a very small place. So BIKSS is very cautious about me mentioning it by name. However looking back I realise I have mentioned some notable places in my posts over the years, and I see from my graph that I get visitors from where-I-live. So here's a special invite to my fellow country-folk (if you live in the land with the spiky fruit concert venue and where we've been experiencing rail woes you'll know where I'm talking about) to drop me an email if you'd rather not leave a comment - trust me, I know about this place being TOO SMALL and wanting to protect your anonymity!
