Audiobooks, Anniversary, Au Revoir, Ailments

Hello beautiful people in Blogland. 

I have been away from here for so long. Not because there isn't anything to write about, but because I've been so busy. 

CG1 is going back to visit her family for a month next week, so I've been helping with organising the tickets, the admin stuff (like re-entry permits, insurance for renewing employment permits, etc etc) and I've also been the one in charge of planning the last two trips to Kuching and Malacca so I have found myself in a heap of admin recently. 

Also, and perhaps the bigger reason why I haven't written as much, is because I have been hooked to my raunchy audiobooks. The Uptown Girls series is what I'm listening to right now. And there are plenty more such *ahem* "romantic" novels. I AM fussy about the narrator tho and will only listen to the ones read by Justine Eyre. 

That aside, we celebrated our 13th year at the beginning of this month. I can't believe what started out as a sorta kinda flingy thing has ended up the longest relationship of my life. It's not been without its fair share of fights and stressors, he's the stressor, then we fight. LOL 

Most recently we had another long discussion about the difference in the flow of information between us. I tell him everything and he tells me nothing. Why? We've worked out that it's a psychological, childhood trauma thing (he doesn't think anything he has to say will be a thing I would want to know... clearly he's no stranger to self-deprecating thinking), and after hashing it out over and over in various different permutations over the years, and most recently because I refused to just let it go and sweep it under the carpet and leave things alone (do we NEED more cliches?), I said we need to deal with this and find a solution or else it's going to be hanging over me like a storm cloud and I'll resent him for it as we move through the months to come. 

If I wanna know stuff, I could keep asking. But I wouldn't know what I don't know. Most recent example, the boys' trip to HK for the rugby 7s I thought he was going on ended up being a bunch of people, some he didn't know, two he met once, and his best friend, going to HK separately and with various combos of family (wife, solo, wife+kids... etc) and the guys (and on the last day, also the wives, maybe one maybe two... who knew?) would meet up at the games on the 3 days. How is that a boys' trip?

I mean, if it's a boys' trip I assumed the 4 of them would travel there together and share rooms or at least room in the same hotel.  Not be a total bunch of upwards of 10 people, all travelling on their own, with no "together" involvement except for meeting up at the games and eating before and after - and in different combinations of who's eating and who's not at that. Cos not everyone had meals together. They just came and went as it suited each of them.

So in that case, how am I to know to ask "Are the wives going, are the kids going, are you travelling together, are you rooming with Joe..." ? There are some things that I'm allowed to assume when I hear "Boys' trip to HK for the Rugby 7s", no? Why would I ask if the wives are going, if it's a boys' trip? Cos I imagine MY response to such a question would be "I said it was a BOYS' TRIP... why would the wives be going?" Evidently this is not the case when a guy says "boys' trip". 

I COULD just ask a bunch of questions everyday. What you doing? Where you at? What plans for the day? Saw anything? Ate yet? Anything exciting happening at work? Any accidents on the road? Any medical issues I should know about that suddenly happened today? I mean, it's bluddy ridiculous. I would resent it. He would resent the questioning. And I would get tired and bored.

OR. I could just ignore everything and take an "I'll just accept what you wanna tell me when you wanna tell me" approach. In the meantime I would ask myself why I was being so stupid and needy and clingy and telling you everything that's going on in my day when you clearly do not share the same level of communication. I would resent it, and curtail the information flow. And then we would have the same relationship you have with your wife. Don't ask don't tell, yes? 

It would be the end of us. I'm certain. 

Anyway. After a frustrating evening of going round and round in circles (see conversation below) the man had an epiphany. And was also overcome with a stroke of brilliance - he said (before sharing said epiphany with me) "And with this I feel like I'm going to talk myself right into a spot". Which he really did. 

Me - Why do I tell you stuff? Why do I inform you of this and that? 

Him - Because it's exciting to you and you want me to know.

Me - Ok, how is it exciting to tell you my friend wants to borrow money. Plus, it doesn't concern you, it doesn't make a difference to your life, it doesn't affect you at all. And still I tell you. Do you want to know such things? Should I not bother to tell you this kind of stuff? 

Him - No, I like hearing this stuff. 

Me - And I like hearing YOUR stuff.

Him - But I don't have interesting stuff to tell you... my day is boring and mundane. 

Me - And my friend wanting to borrow money is interesting how? Saying "I'm on my way back from work" is interesting how? Telling you all the things I tell you .. isn't it mundane too? 

** this is the part where he had his epiphany and said what he said about talking himself into a spot**

Him - It's not mundane because it pertains to YOU and what is pertinent to YOU or affects YOU or bothers YOU or involves YOU matters to ME. Cos it's YOU. 

Me - Tada! Now do you get it? 

He says he did. He looked really uncomfortable lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling, and I could see the gears turning in his brain. 

Well then, let's see. 

At least we got that sorted somewhat... before moving ahead into the next year. I'm not saying it's going to be all hunky dory now, but at least he's figured THAT one out. I'm sure there will be other blocks. It's not going to be a fix all. But I'm nothing if not tenacious and if I have to chip away at his traumas one psychological barrier at a time, then so be it. 

Bring it on! 

Haven't invested 13 years only to give up now... 

And speaking of anniversary, he got me another silver coin - 

It's so pretty! I bought him a kazoo. LOL. It hasn't arrived. But I can't wait for him get his hands on it and make all sorts of noise! 

In personal medical news - I've changed my HRT to tibolone. It's a drug that when metabolised by the body produces the hormones I need. Don't ask me how it works. I can't fathom it myself. But it's supposed to be better than the previous one I was taking. Best of all - no withdrawal bleed. But it's early days yet... I've only started taking it this week. Hopefully the aches and pains I get during the 'low dose' week on the triphasic pills won't be as pronounced. 

Speaking of hormones, I've been to see my physiotherapist cos my shoulder pain is getting more annoying. And I'm freezing up. Apparently there is a term for it in Chinese he says - the 50s Shoulder. Seems the changes in hormone levels affects the shoulder (specifically the shoulder joint, he doesn't know why, but it does) in some women and a LOT of women in this age group end up with a frozen shoulder. Yup. It's an 18-mth curse on average, sometimes shorter in some people, consisting of 4 phases. We all suspect (by we I mean me, my boss-cum-GP and physiotherapist) that I'm in phase 2. It started presenting in November, so at an average of 3 months per phase, I'm in the Freezing stage. 

The good news is that once it's actually in the Frozen stage, there is less pain, just stiffness and limited mobility. I can't wait for this shit to be done with. 

In travel news, if all goes to plan, I'll be hopping into Kuala Lumpur with BIKSS on the 15th of April cos he has a worktrip coming up. Fingers are crossed.

And now I will sleep. Here are some pics from the last month.. 

Lunch at an unexpected Vietnamese restaurant while waiting for my physio appt

Tonight's Peranakan Dinner Buffet

Melaka / Malacca last weekend

A simple explanation of where my people come from - Melaka is the birthplace of my great great great Granddad. I think. I can't remember how many "greats" there are. And it's too late in the evening and I'm too lazy to dig out the books to check. But yeah, that's where we come from originally.

The Melaka River (and a hotel on the other side... Casa del rio I think it's called)

Enjoying a Peranakan Lunch

Clockwise from left :

Bak wan kepiting

Nangka lemak

Beef rendang

Cincaluk ulam

Babi tohay

Center : ngoh hiang with cili cuka

My own version of nangka lemak which BIKSS tried today - 

Young jackfruit in a coconut milk gravy, with prawns

on the river cruise

 

And that's all for now... I shall come back with MORE news! 

Travel Plans, Neuroses and Resolution Keeping

The Most Recent Thing to upset me is that BIKSS is going away on a play trip (as opposed to a work trip) at the end of March and I found out in the most disastrous way. 

Background - I have separation anxiety, adjustment disorder, and abandonment issues. I'm not proud of it or anything, it's not like I WANT to collect disorders, but these are all things that I've been in therapy for. And while I can function and survive in the normal world most of the time, sometimes it takes a bit of doing for me to haul my crushed and fractured soul off the ground and get it back in the realm of the living when something comes at me out of nowhere. 

Dramatic, much? Yes. On a regular day with a sane mind, I would agree. But that is exactly what it feels like when a thing comes flying my way and hits me square in the face. Reason and logic? What? No where to be found.

Anyway we talked (MANY TALKS) about it, and by now I'm feeling ok again. However, moving forward, there are some things that I will have to do to cope and compensate for such unplanned out-of-town trips tho, the most obvious being PLAN MY OWN out-of-town trips. And on his part, TELL ME WITH A BIT OF SENSITIVITY. Ahem. Moving on... the rest of the Plan.

If he's to travel more this year, being my 'leave the country every month year' and all, then the original plan was that I would tag along on his work trips. But if his trips are gonna be last minute and clash with my work schedule / cost too much in airfare / coincide with my periods guaranteeing NO ONE has a good time, then I would rather not go. (Which is what happened the last BKK trip he took - it was short notice and the flights were almost $500 return and it was period week. Plus my colleague was on leave the Monday that he was to fly off, meaning I couldn't get time off till Tuesday, shortening an already short trip. As for this upcoming play trip to HKG with the fellas - he suggested I come up and join him for a couple of days after the match, but $700 is NOT a price I'm willing to pay for a 2 day tag-on.) 

In all likelihood I'd have to beat the last-minute-high-priced-ticket situation by booking my own cheap-ass-on-promo tickets early. With other people. In order to keep my New Year's resolution (leave the country every month.... let's not lose sight of this!)

Which then means that by the time he CAN confirm a work trip I might already have used up whatever vacation days that month for my own travel plans. And that leaves us no better off in the "travel together" department. 

To address the issue we have decided that :

1) If tickets are too pricey for my cheap ass to hand over good money for,  but are within a range HE thinks is acceptable, and he's willing to pay for them, then I might go. (It took some convincing cos I'm not one to spend $400 on something that can be got for $200 you know? However since CHEAP is dependent on having "advance notice" and that's not going to be likely in most cases, I suppose something's got to give.) 

TO BE FAIR - he did offer. I would say "I'm not paying XXX for a ticket to YYY just to hang out with you for 3 days... it's too expensive!" and he would say "Then what about if I  paid for it?" And I would gasp in horror because WHOEVER paid for it, it's still too expensive. 

But ok. If the purpose is to vacay together on his short work trips and we'd be saving on hotel anyway, and he's willing to sponsor the ticket, then fine. (I also have a LOUSY relationship with money... I am aware, and I am working on it.)

And 

2) He'll try and plan in advance as much as possible, wherever and whenever he can. I'm not hopeful about this second one. But we'll see. 

Meanwhile, I've decided instead of sitting around and being depressed when he's in HKG I'm going to grab CG1 and my sister and we're going to hop onto a bus to Malacca for 3 days. We booked the tickets yesterday! Whoop!

There's also a legit teaching holiday at the end of April (I usually teach on Saturdays and it would be waste to let a free Saturday go by without doing something!) so the sister has booked me for a trip to Genting Highlands to enjoy the cool weather - and roam the Genting Premium Outlets. She's been, I haven't. I don't think I've been to Genting in at least 10 years, which is a shame cos they've made so many improvements to the space. 

So far I've left the country every month... my resolution looks like it's firmly on track. The plan to travel with BIKSS on his work trips... well, not so much. But we're only a quarter way into the year... so there is hope yet!

Because Blogger is Being a Brat

Here's the sitch - for the longest time I didn't need the sensitive content warning. Then one day I wrote something naughty and Blogger kept saying it didn't want to let me publish. Cos, I dunno, it bit of the fruit of the tree of knowledge or something and figured out what I was writing wasn't kosher for the general public. 

So I stuck the warning page on. 

And then it decided some of my friends weren't allowed to come in and read. And some who were, couldn't post any comments. 

So I removed the warning page. After all, it's not like I'm writing anything kinky anymore these days. 

BUT - in the event I do, please excuse the lack of detail or explicit descriptions. I'm trying to keep from getting shown the "please display sensitive content warning" message.

Like last night, for example. 

We went out to dinner at a vegetarian place in the same building that housed the theatre we were going to to watch a play. 

They had 'Spam' fries - vegetarian of course  - but it was as good as the real thing. I mean, if BIKSS was impressed, it must have been good. I couldn't tell cos it's been years since I ate any luncheon meat at all.

The otah or otak-otak (a Southeast Asian fish cake made of ground fish mixed with spices and wrapped in leaf parcels. Otak-otak is traditionally served steamed or grilled, encased within the leaf parcel it is cooked in, and can be eaten solely as a snack or with steamed rice as part of a meal. 👈 from Wiki) was also a very good dupe of the real thing! 

Our main was a lion's mane mushroom version of Bak Kut Teh  - pork rib soup (click 👉 here to see a previous post in which I shared a pic) 

We headed to the theatre for our play and then met up with my cousin who was acting in it after. Turns out he didn't drive that night so I volunteered BIKSS to send him home.We could go for a drive, he'd get a comfy ride home, and we could chat and catch up along the way. It was too early for us to head home ourselves anyway, cos you know, there's that whole deal with mum now. 

Eventually we ended up in my room and as we were chatting I asked him if we were going to have  s-- (rhymes with plex 😆). He said well yes, but only if I was up to it. I explained that because of all the stuff that's going on with me, I'm not feeling "it" at all these days (perimenopause and birth control pills do a serious number on your libido let me tell you) and I suspect I'll be perfectly fine never doing it ever again too. So if he wants to get some he's gotta do the work! LOL. I assured him I'm not s-- averse, "well, if you're not averse", he echoes, and I emphasise it this time "nope, I'm not a-verse. In fact I think I'm more of a chorus"... he didn't hear that one at first... cos he was busy taking off his pants. But eventually he realised what I had said! 

Ok, I had to throw in a lame dad joke in there just cos. Anyway, I get to um, saying my hellos to Roger in the way I do, and he's having a thoroughly good time of it. All that muscle twitching and grunting and expelling of air inspired me to ask (through sounds, which he clearly understood) if he wanted to c-- in my mouth. The answer was yes. 

I think that's a brilliant way to do it. No fuss, no mess, he's happy, I'm happy. I mean, it's not going to come as a shock to anyone who reads here that I enjoy a good bj as much as I used to enjoy s--. These days, more. 

And there you have it. I'm going to hit "publish" now and see if Blogger still thinks this is too raunchy for the general readership. Fingers crossed. 

And have a luncheon Spam chip while you're at it!

 

At the Makeup Counter

At one point while looking for some blush I exclaimed in frustration that it was ridiculous just how expensive make-up had gotten. 

I mean, if I want a little colour on my cheeks maybe I should just slap them. Then I proceeded to pat my own cheeks... and turning to face BIKSS I said, hey, or YOU could do it... have a go! 

He pulled away and said no no no, there's CCTV all around and he could get into big trouble! LOL. 

We played abit in the store, I said, nah they won't think you're abusing me, I'm smiling and touching your chest and we're obviously getting along, I don't look like I'm distress! 

He went on to say that it might also look like I was trying to placate him in an effort to stop him from continuing with the slapping. It was funny. 

Not abuse. That's NEVER funny. And it's NEVER ok. But it was funny how he twisted everything I said or did into something that might have been misconstrued. 

And isn't that the real problem with the world? One thing said or done under one circumstance could be misinterpreted VERY VERY badly. 

That's all I wanted to say today. 

Enjoy! Cos these are ALSO Chips :)

The Most Expensive Steak We've Ever Eaten

...was had at a practically unheard of steakhouse. Well, I only knew it because my cousin brought a roast beef along to mum's place for lunch some years back and being in a part of town that was terribly inconvenient for me to get to I didn't think much of it. That is, until I mentioned it to BIKSS and he said, well, yes, that's the place he told me about that had the awesome Irish coffee (during MY birthday dinner). Um, no, that's on xxx road, I said. He pointed over to the right side of the street and said - what road do you think THAT is?!

OK, I get that that conversation might be a bit confusing. But never mind. That's not the point. The point is that we eventually ended up at this place that looks a little worse for wear on the outside, but was just full on old-kitchen charm on the inside. He'd been there once before (that's how he knew about the Irish coffee) and I'd been there never. 

The menu is rolled over to you on a chalkboard.

We had the portabello and shrimp (on the other side of the chalkboard) for starters, 

..and chose the Australian Wagyu, done medium rare. The dude rolled the trolley over with the slabs of meat to show us the difference in the marbling between the Australian and Japanese Wagyus. I can't tell the difference to be honest, but at $20 difference per 100gm, we'll stick with the cheaper one TYVM. Beef is beef. And any Wagyu is already rich enough for my taste, never mind Japanese or not.

It was my first ever Wagyu steak. (The rump we had at the other place - see link at the end of this post - was meant to be a Wagyu too but I wasn't convinced. So this one counts as my first as far as I'm concerned.)

I should have taken a picture of the inside of the cut steak, I realise, but we were so impressed by how delicious it was that we just kept on eating! I also ordered the black cod - again, a first for me. It was absolutely divine.

Then came the zesty cognac soaked crepes, flambé-ed table-side. That was 4 minutes of watching our crepes get prepped.

And finally, the reason we came here - Irish coffee :

It was a whole production! 

And according to BIKSS, tasted way better than the too much cream-not enough coffee one that we had at the other place. Which, I admit, had a lot more in terms of menu variety and fancy names, but this place is a really simple no frills joint (offering wise, I mean; the table-side shows are another story) with tasty well-cooked food without the elaborate names and descriptions. The portabello and shrimp was called "Portabello / shrimp". If you go back up and have a look at the menu, you'll see what I mean. 

So that slab of beef was 320gms. At 45 bucks per 100 you can do the math. 

Dinner came up to a whopping $320 with tip. Was it worth it? No food is ever worth hundreds of dollars, imo, but considering the experience and the quality of the food and service, I *will* say I didn't regret a single cent! Besides, it was a combined celebration of BIKSS' birthday (belated) and early V-day, so hey, for a 2-in-1 it wasn't too bad! (He's off on a work trip this week... bleagh.)

Will we come back here? Yes. And as far as pricey steak places go, if I'm going to be paying a kidney and a spleen for some beef, then I'd rather do it here than at the other place. 

Most notable lines of the evening - 

Me - I think that's the most expensive steak I've ever eaten...

BIKSS - I KNOW that's the most expensive steak I've ever eaten!

Today's chips - take your pick!

The Counselling is On

The course I mean. It's midway thru the sessions now, and I'm enjoying myself rather a fair bit. 

I finished the last online course I was on, and there's one more course to do for that one before I finish all the modules in Lifestyle Medicine. I suspect that like this one I just finished, it's going to be quite content heavy. 

So I've decided not to dive straight into it, but to wait till the counselling lark is done. 

Who knows, they might invite me to do the next level. Ha! If there's one thing I'm not, it's calm and softspoken. Which all the counsellor's I've met there ARE. They have heaps and heaps of serenity oozing out from their pores. As a fellow participant put it - perhaps we're just too excitable and reactive? We need to practise being less hyper.

Part of me would LOVE to be that picture of peace and calm, but a larger part of me feels it won't be authentic if I have to try so hard! 

And so I shall be the way I am, I have been. I mean, it hasn't stopped friends and students and patients and godchildren coming to me for advice right?? 

Heck. Even BIKSS is amused that I can get him to talk. 

I might be jumping the gun, but since I'm a planner, I need a plan. What if they really DO offer me a seat in the advanced level class? I would love to learn more stuff. Gather more skills. But I think they offer places to people whom they think would make good counsellors and will be willing to join their team - they have a counselling service, free for anyone who needs it. 

I do know that at this point I DON'T want to volunteer for more things - I feel ultra busy as it is! 

Maybe I'll just wait till I come to that bridge before I decide if I want to cross it. 

Meanwhile - we had Indian food on Monday - we just picked a mall and wandered around till something caught our fancies. 

"It must good, there are Indians eating in there!" (BIKSS is always convinced if a native of whatever cuisine is eating in the restaurant then that's a good sign.)

So in we went. It was good. Spicy, flavourful, some bits a bit too salty for my taste, but very satisfying over all. 

Single serve spicy chicken soup

Half portion Tandoori chicken

Onion and pepper fried prawns

Battered and fried cauliflower -  my favourite of the night.

We have a decent number of Indian restaurants here, but they all seem to be very different to me. I think there's the whole North vs South Indian thing, vegetarian or not thing, and some restaurants seem to have adopted a more local flavour so that the menus have become a mish mash of everything that's just generally Indian but not ONLY Indian. 

I can't tell what's what. But I do know that sometimes one just needs some masala in the tum tum! 

Have a jackfruit chip~

(By the way I ate some chips earlier and then there was a click in my jaw, and it began to hurt. I think it might have been a ligament. So now I'm on a forced diet plan. I shall ask my boss about it tomorrow. It's not causing any discomfort except when I bite down.)

Friday Fun With Chinese Tantric Sex Music

We went to a Chinese vegetarian restaurant. BIKSS was impressed. Thre was some curried (rendang, it's called) lion's mane mushrooms, tofu stuffed with.. um, tofu LOL, veg and mushroom hot pot (aka soup) and a side of veggie gyoza. I'm trying to reduce our meat intake so I'm glad he enjoyed the meal.

After dinner we sat by the car in a random lot and drank a zero-alcohol beer which we picked up from the gas station. We wanted something that was caffeine-free (for me) sugar-free (for BIKSS) and preferably cold and fizzy. And Heineken zero was cheaper than Perrier! 

(Also, he went in for a HbA1c test at my insistence, but we're still waiting on that result. I'm just being overly cautious. Doesn't hurt to have more numbers. I'm not convinced that the blood glucose test is "enough" given how high his OGTT was a year ago when he did that. I'm a bit surprised the doc didn't include a Hba test during his recent medical. Pffft.)

Then we went home and while chatting about getting DNA tests (his brother did a test, and I mentioned being interested cos I don't really know where I'm from since my dad was adopted, and my grand-dad on mum's side was also adopted...)  we ended up looking at pictures of Mongolian women cos he's convinced I have Mongolian DNA. I never looked it up but when he showed me the pics on the web it was like looking at my growing up fotos! 

This one looks like the sister when she was in high school.

And BIKSS says this one looks like a younger me - 

(Khulan Chuluun - Mongolian actress and director)

Specifically it's the high/wide cheekbones, narrow mouth and slanted eyes. Which are related to Japanese eyes, but not Chinese eyes, it seems. 

(can you tell which is Japanese and which is Chinese?)

I did some digging. Apparently Japanese DNA is linked to Mongul DNA. I'm learning a lot this weekend! LOL. 

You can read about it HERE

Anyway since my period decided to show up a week early we couldn't have any fuckety fun, but that doesn't mean I can't still enjoy me a blowjob. Mm hmm.. "Would you like a blowjob?" I popped as I half leapt up from the bed to get my stuff ready. 

Yes. There was readying to be done. He replied that a blowjob would be nice! 
"Great, cos I'm in the mood for a blowjob!" I say. 

(He goes on to joke while I get busy - "Try saying that in a bar... Hm I'm in the mood for a blowjob, anyone want one? Can I get a volunteer, maybe?")

But back to the readying.

First, a thermos that I had gotten recently for my birthday. Now that my microwave is dead (did I mention? Yeah.. well.) I had to do things the old-fashioned way - ie. have some warm water handy. I went to the kitchen, popped the kettle on (did I tell you I had to get a new one cos the old one died? Appliances are dying at an alarming rate in my house suddenly) and poured me some warm water into my thermos.

Also, a towel for post BJ wipe-up.

Next, setting the mood. I turned on the unicorn light and switched off the main light. I realise the unicorn-ness of it may not be sexy, but hey, he's gonna have his eyes shut and all I'm after is the pink glow it gives off.

He took off his pants and because he was directly beneath the ceiling fan (and we'd been having an exceptionally cold spell for this time of year in this part of the world - blame the monsoons) I stuck the blanket over his hip area. 

At this point he said "It's like being in a bordello," which I suppose is a positive, considering the vibe I was going for.

And now, for the music. It's not a long clip, so of course before anyone could get anywhere it was interrupted by Youtube ads and then Janet Seidel threatened to take over my speakers! I like her songs, don't get me wrong, I just didn't want to blowjob to them! 

Anyway, I think I might have been more inspired by the music than BIKSS was put in the mood by listening to it, cos I really enjoyed last night's BJ. And I think he enjoyed it too. I actually got some "wow"s out of him after he came. It was very reassuring. I mean, 11 years later and he's still loving it!

Today's chip pic - 

Corn chips aren't my favourite but hey, if it's salted and crunchy, I'll eat it.

It's Been A While (Take 2)

(The first publication of this post got flagged by Blogger and was "put behind a warning". What? Fine. So I enabled the warning on my landing page. And then it still wouldn't let me publish. I think it's ok now, but if it isn't, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. If you had to click through a link to get to the warning page before you arrived here, thank you for bothering. All these roadblocks are making me want to blog less and less. Oh, and I apologise for the rubbish formatting. Something's preventing me from getting the justify button to work. 😒)

The conversation (after sex last night) turned to "At what point do you think you'll get tired of a relationship?" .... alright all you over-thinkers out there... I'm sure you can identify. 

I don't think I'm particularly sexy these days. And we DID start this whole affair because of sex no? 

PLUS in the last few years I've been a bit more distant... because, well, LIFE. Circumstances haven't been conducive to playtime, in fact it hasn't been conducive to anything. My house is off limits except when mum is asleep. And even then we've to be super quiet. 

I felt as if there was no reason for BIKSS to still want to tap this ass. 

(Speaking of ass, check out this link about butt shapes and heart disease! Is this even real?)

Speaking of. We both agree that the ass has seen a reduction in volume. Part of it is weight loss, part of it is ageing. All of it is rather depressing. For BOTH of us LOL. 

So while rolling about and talking about rubbish like paying for sex by the minute vs by the hour we laughingly said it would be really affordable if it were by the minute seeing as how he's been "trained" to get in, pump and get out relatively quickly. I don't like long drawn out sex. The cuddling and fondling and blowjob and spanking - yes. The actual penetrative sex, no. 

Part of it is lack of muscle conditioning (things start to ache, no?) and part of it is ageing... that word seems to be coming up quite a bit - these days it's VERY easy to get dry. And even when things START out nice and lubricated it's a very small window before we're back at square one. Enter - lube. 

So anyway, he says it could be really cheap for Roger if it were a by-the-minute-charge sex-worker. 7 minutes and he's done. If it were to be by the hour, well, he'll get one round done really quick, and then if he's lucky Roger will be up and ready to go again in 30 mins. 

"But that's if it's you, I'm thinking. I don't think he'll be quite so ready for round two if it's another girl."

"I think you're confusing me NOW with the idea of sex with me THEN. Perhaps it's the memory of the kind of sex we had / could have that gets Roger excited. Cos goodness knows this  (looking down at myself) is hardly what I call sexy and hot anymore."

"Memory? Sure those were some fun kinky times, but it's not the memory of our hot sex that get's him going, it's you! Missing butt and all... LOL."

I wasn't convinced. I don't think I'm sexy anymore. At one point, yes. But these days my hair is all grey and I'm not even dressing up for dates, cos it's usually a quick run to a nearby place, nothing fancy. And with my reluctance to wear proper pretty shoes (cos they tend to be more uncomfortable than just flip flops) comes the tendency to just pull on some shorts and a tank. 

Not sexy shorts and tank like this - 

 Comfy shorts and tank like this! 

"I mean, I don't even hardly have any ass left... soon you'll be humping bone... for lack of cushioning!"

"Nah, it's definitely still YOU you that gets Roger randy. And you still have enough butt! There will be no need for bone-banging, and I'll prove it too!"

He did. Flipped me on my belly, got up between my legs behind me, dripped some lube on me and on Roger and it was high ho silver away! 

I mean, the thumb went into my mouth, the hand grabbed the hair... it might have been merely the suggestion of all the kinky playtime which used to be part of our regular fun, but it was enough to remind ME of all the awesomeness that is sex with BIKSS. 

Today's chip pic - these are supposed to be "potato chip peanut butter cups". Two of my favorite things. I wonder....

Snow Jelly or Hashima

Last night we went for dinner at a Tim Ho Wan dim sum restaurant. It's part of a chain that started out in Hongkong and the original Mongkok restaurant earned itself a Michelin Star within a year of opening.

It IS very good. And BIKSS enjoys their baked char siew buns.

He also likes the garlic pork chops and steamed dumplings in chilli oil 

I didn't have any of those dumplings cos I wasn't sure my tummy (or my sinuses) would be too happy. After Covid I found that the slightest hint of chilli heat would irritate my nose and throat and then I'd end up with a lot of phlegm and can be heard coughing from a mile away. 

The other thing, the tummy thing, is cos I'm trying out a dark plum concentrate detox programme that is supposed to help clear out the bowels. So far it's not bad. I mean, I go daily and didn't think there would be too much for it to excavate from my intestines. But on day 1 I had +2 poops aside from my usual one, and on day 2 I had +1 poop. It's quite a gentle stirring and not the crampy diarrhoea type of emergency toilet runs that a lot of detox teas seem to cause. 

Anyway since I was on the plum detox I didn't want the chilli to aggravate things. 

I ordered some steamed beancurd rolls and spinach dumplings and that was our surprisingly filling dinner. 

While chit chatting at the restaurant to kill some time before our movie (Black Adam!), I mentioned to BIKSS that I recently got a couple of bottles of ready-to-drink Hashima. What's that, he asked. I looked it up and read him the description I got off Wiki - 

Hashima, or Hasma, is a Chinese and widely Central Asian dessert ingredient made from the dried fatty tissue found near the fallopian tubes of true frogs, typically the Asiatic grass frog (Rana chensinensis). Because of its whitish appearance, hasma is often called "snow frog fat". Hasma is relatively expensive, so it is reserved for special occasions and in high-end restaurants. 

(It's also sometimes called Snow Jelly or Snow Frog Jelly, and the Western pharmaceutical term for it is Oviductus Ranae.)

He gave me a look of faux (or not so faux) shock and horror. 

Wanna try some? 

What here? Now?

Why not! I'm pretty certain we can find some at the traditional Chinese tonic shop we passed by earlier. I saw one on the ground floor innit?

Now the thing about our malls is that because we're smack in the middle of South East Asia, TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) shops are all over the place. A long time ago they were mom-and-pop shops in residential estates, but in the last couple of decades we've seen brands go upmarket and open up branches in all the popular malls. 

They look like a Chinese herb version of Boots or GNC you know? Something like this - 

  

or this

Anyway he gave me a look and with a great deal of resignation said "You know you're probably one of, wait... no, you're the ONLY person who can get me to eat or drink weird things. Frog fallopian tubes? Ugh."

They're not fallopian tubes. It's the fatty tissue found NEAR the fallopian tubes. 

What does it taste like? 

Like bird's nest. You like bird's nest right? It's sweet and everything. Like jelly. 

Yeah, but only because by the time I found out what bird's nest was I had already decided I liked it. 

Great. Let's go. I'm pretty sure (shopname) sells them in ready-to-drink bottles. That's how I got mine at (differentshopname). Just pop the lid and drink!

They did indeed sell it there. So I bought a bottle (just under $10 for 230ml) which I shared with BIKSS. 

This one is red date flavoured.

Phew, that's the dates then, I thought it was the frog thing. 

Er, no. It's NOT the dates. The dates are what they use to make the syrup. That IS the frog thing. 

The lighting's not the best but I managed to get a light UNDER the bottle so it might be easier to see the jelly-type things. 

He was pretty calm about it. I took a sip, passed him the bottle, he took a sip and passed it back to me, then I took a gulp so that I would get some of the hashima, and he did the same. Surprisingly he wasn't too repulsed by the thought of frog fallopian tubes (as he calls it) in his mouth and managed to drink the thing. 

Not bad right? 

Actually if I didn't know what it was I'd probably be playing with it, like squishing the jelly through my teeth.. 

Haha, exactly! That's what I do!

I found THIS LINK for a hashima dessert recipe - there are some clearer pictures there of what it looks like and how it's cooked traditionally.

(from julieolive.co.uk)

And if you want to know why I got some for myself in the first place, well, Western medicine doesn't seem to be able to solve my post-Covid coughs, so I thought I'd try some Asian / Chinese remedies. 

According to this website -  Hasma is taken for medicinal purposes in Traditional Chinese medicine. Reported benefits of eating hasma include replenishing vital essence in the lungs, kidneys, and improving skin complexion. Hasma is also prescribed to treat respiratory symptoms such as coughing, hemoptysis and night sweats due to tuberculosis. Young children are however not recommended to take it, as the high contents of hormones might cause puberty to begin early.

As I'm way past puberty and could always do with better skin and lungs and kidneys, why not right? 

And if you're still not convinced, here's some science to back up its claims of immunomodulatory, antioxidant, antifatigue, antiaging, estrogen-like, hepatoprotective, hypolipidemic, antiosteoporotic, antidepressant, antitumor, antitussive, expectorant, anti-inflammatory, and antiasthmatic activities! 

That's a lot of stuff for one little frog's oviducts to do! What about you, would you ever give Snow Jelly a try... now that you know what it's made of?