Tucked In and Spanked

After the game on Sunday night (his team won btw) Daddy came back with me to tuck me in cos I was feeling erm, well, there's no real English translation for it, the Malay word for it is "manja". 

according to Google translate...

It's kinda like when you're needy, and affectionate, and want to be spoiled and paid attention to and fussed over. 

Something like that. 

Anyway he came up and I showered and he helped me with my sheets (Sunday is sheet-laundering day) and then I crawled into bed and he climbed in beside me. 

While we chatted for a bit he reached over and played with my nipple.

"How do people not twiddle with a nipple when it's right there?" he mused. 

"Self - restraint," I said. 

"Well, doms don't have to practise that cos those are OUR nipples," he carried on. 

We ended up having sex cos I got turned on and Roger got excited and there was lots of kissing and grabbing and pulling... and well, you know. 

When we finally settled in again I asked him for a story. And he told me his (spanking) version of the 3 little pigs. It was funny. 

And I got spanked at the appropriate places. It was like a "spank-along" story. 

By the end of it I had a warm bum and my eyelids were heavy. So he kissed me goodnight and let himself out. 

I was only half awake as I listened for the sound of the main gate locking and then I was out like a light. 

It was a lovely way to end the weekend :)

Snippets - Lunar New Year Edition

I will be busy with baking over the next two weeks. Not everyday, but every other day and whenever I can steal half a day to make the cake I make but once a year. 

This means I will be busy with rubber spatulas. And missing BIKSS every time I'm holding one. (I'm sure I don't have to make the connection for you right?)

I should also be seeing him tomorrow evening, but that's an if-fy plan, more on my part than his. I am supposed to bake 6 out of the 28 cakes (which is this year's count) tomorrow - and I'm hoping I'll get done by the mid afternoon. Which is when some new furniture is supposed to be arriving. Thankfully, mum will be here helping me. I appreciate the extra pair of hands. But that comes with a price tag, of course. 

Oh why oh why do I always get myself into these situations where I arrange for 5 and a half things to  happen within nano-seconds of each other? 

An old friend has decided she'll drop by to collect something for her daughter that I'm giving away - early evening she says. Great. I'll be home baking / arranging furniture / cleaning the house after said furniture is assembled anyway. 

In relationship news - the last 2 episodes that I went thru with BIKSS seemed to be missing that distinct "oh no he's going to leave me cos I'm so much trouble" flavour that has usually been present in prior difficult situations. We are both happy about this. Well, BIKSS is happy, I'm more surprised than anything.

We have booked our hotel for the upcoming trip. The floors are polished wood, which might make kneeling a little difficult, but his comeback to that was a very nonplussed We'll use a cushion. I suppose he doesn't see it as a problem. I would prefer a carpeted floor... but I'll be fine, I'm sure. 

As I was in the cab on the way home from work this evening, I stared out at the red light and was suddenly overwhelmed by how much he loves me. And how lucky I am to have him. When I told him later on how I was feeling, he said "You know all those times you were involved with other people? I always thought they were lucky to have you. Guess who I think is the lucky one now!" Isn't he the mushy one eh? I LOVE IT!

It also just dawned on me that knowing all the stuff he knows about me, seeing me thru all my breakups and relationships and flings, it must have taken him quite a large amount of courage to still want to get involved with me. He says he knew what I needed. And that he's no runner. I think that was the one thing that he figured was the biggest hurdle for me. Fear of abandonment. 

So I just wanted to say, I love you BIKSS! And I'm excited for the opportunity to celebrate your birthday with you!! Oh, and Valentine's Day :)

Also, I still love my Christmas paddle, I don't love the hairbrush, and BIKSS is probably torn between his Christmas paddle and the rubber spatula - he always ends up pulling BOTH of them out when he reaches into the implement drawer. *I'm curious to see which one wins ...*

In the meantime, thank you for nominating me, Elle-with-a-smiley, for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award... I'll try and get to it soon... but I just wanted to let you all know I might be a little MIA in the next few weeks. Cos after the Lunar New Year holiday we'll be off on our vacation!! I think we'll have at least one laptop between us tho, so updates shouldn't be a problem. 

In the meantime, go read up on the Masturbate-a-thon. I just LOVE their logo!

Home Sweet Home

I'm back everybody! 

The flight was quick, I napped the whole time. 

The cab queue was short so I got home in a jiffy. 

But I'm missing him BADLY!!

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This is somewhat of a rushed post - cos I've gotta get ready to work (yes, I chose to fly back on the same day I have to work) but I didn't want to forget all the stuff in my head. 

If I let it out here, it means I can forget about some of it and clear up the RAM in my brain. 

I knew I was going to miss him terribly. And I think we BOTH wanted to make our last night together count. 

There was some good ol' spanking going on with his self-made porto-spanko. I lay over him in reverse cowgirl style, only my body was bent down onto the bed, and he took a video and wanted me to show you guys how red my bum got (this is rare let me tell you).

After that, as we lay enjoying each other's company, we ended up talking about some deeper stuff - why I am submissive. 

Our theory is this, and Aisha, this is probably up your alley so if you want to explore it some more I would be happy to chat with you. 

When I was young I was deathly afraid of abandonment. I had a recurring nightmare for 2 years - about 3-4 times a week. I would be on a hospital gurney and being wheeled away, down some sterile looking corridor in lime green, and knowing that I'd never see anybody I knew ever again. That feeling of not being able to control what was happening to me filled me with fear. It is this particular brand of "fear" that I will be referring to when I use this word in the rest of this post. 

Later on I experienced some sexual abuse (story for another day) but again the feeling of not being in control was all I could remember. 

I grew up to be a control freak. I had contingencies aplenty. And I would never be caught without an answer. I planned, and I plotted, and I prepared. For everything, in every aspect of my life. It is what makes me the awesome home-maker and teacher that I am. (Fact. Not arrogance.)

I told BIKSS that strangely enough before I left on this trip with him, I felt that familiar "fear" of being out of control. The same one that I woke up feeling in the middle of the night when I had those nightmares. 

And then I recognised it as the feeling I get when he is dominating me in bed - when his hand is around my neck, when I'm forced to spread my legs, when he hurts my nipples. Only it doesn't REGISTER as "fear" but as arousal. 

We talked and I concluded that it is perhaps my way of controlling that particular feeling. My inner psycho at some point decided that the way I would face it head on would be to associate that *negative* "fear" with a *positive* sexual arousal. In that way I am able to take it, turn it around, and make it mean something else entirely. 

Any thoughts?

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After talking about all that abuse stuff, he decided he would "illustrate" his points with some throat grabbing and forceful talk, all the while filling me with more and more heat! Then he plunged into me, with no ceremony, fucked me madly and came! I was Immensely Happy. 

I snuggled into him and we watched the rest of our movie. He was tender and loving and cuddled me close. And before going to bed I told him he needed to know 2 things. 

"1 - I am glad you're my Master. You're awesome at it."

"Whats 2?"

"2 is that I've always said I love you, but it's so disconnected. It's not meant to BE disconnected - it's actually,  I love you, BIKSS (I used his actual name here)."

He breathed deep, and as he exhaled he kissed my forehead *meaningfully* (yes you can FEEL THESE THINGS!) and said he loves me too. 

And then we slept. 

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Before he left for his class today he kissed me a million times as he walked past me (still in bed) gathering up his stuff for the day. 

And on his final pass he leaned over - I had kicked the covers off cos it was getting too warm - and he smacked me 10 times on each cheek. 

"What was that for?" I smiled as I asked him.

"To remind you that you're mine." And I got one last lingering kiss before he left. 

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When I got to the airport I received this on my phone, along with an I Love You - he can be such a teenager in love! (There were other emoticons but I'll spare him heehee.)

And I have to say a special THANK YOU to SirQsMLB for keeping me company via chat this morning when I was at the airport - I was missing BIKSS so terribly but he was in class and I didn't want to disturb him too much. It was a welcome distraction, so thank you Fiona!

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Here are some pics from the trip - I thought I'd share them with you since I have some time (and a proper internet connection) now.

See the Rain Shower?

A local stall-holder keeping his hair dry from the drizzle

Got this on the way to the airport

Delicious King-Size Bed to roll around in

Master's lap on the plane

Almost Like in the Movies...

...except I'm no famous Hollywood starlet... let me explain:

6:05pm
I'm headed back to my sister's place now.

6:08pm

Uh-huh

6:11pm

You on the way back already?

Yes. In the bus. Why?

6:12pm

Lol. Just wondering.

Bus no XX?

Uh-huh

About a third into the journey back to my sister's house I find myself participating in the conversation above. It's so strange and cryptic and I wonder if BIKSS is sitting at the back of the bus I'm on. I actually turn to look and then feel a little silly that I would imagine he'd be on the bus. 

The bus slows as it approaches its next stop and we go past the figure of a man about the same build as BIKSS running the short distance to the bus stop to catch the bus I'm on. My heart skips a beat as the romantic in me wonders if that could possibly be him... That would explain the funny questioning. I scold myself for being ridiculous. 1 - he drives. 2 - he doesn't work anywhere NEAR where I was travelling. 3 - how would he know WHERE on the route I'd be... the bus system in this country doesn't have a schedule or anything. The service I'm on comes every 12-15 minutes. I could be ANYWHERE between my and my sister's place. 

I go back to re-tying my hair, cos the ponytail is a little loose. The bus is now stopped and as the man catches up with us he looks into the bus and grins. At me! 

It IS BIKSS!! I break into the biggest smile I've ever smiled! 

He gets on, walks towards the back of the bus where I'm sitting and I move to make space for him. It takes every ounce of willpower NOT to plant one right on his lips! In the interest of caution the most I do is turn to him and kiss him on the upper part of his arm. And continue grinning like the cheshire cat.

You know, I've told him before that he's setting the bar a little higher than my usual standards with regards to finding me a mate... this surprise bus meeting just pushed it up a huge notch.

Turns out he had a meeting in that area and didn't drive today. So since I was headed that way he decided to run for the bus that he saw coming on the off chance that I was on it - in a long-sleeved shirt and pants and carrying a rucksack and holding on to his laptop no less. 

Oh, perhaps I should mention... I'm a sucker for these romantic only-happens-in-movies type surprises.