Shopping Day and Childhood Fantasies

I needed to pick up some little pots for babeh plants, and a planner for next year. And Yankee Candles. Cos they're the only scented candles that are easily got around these parts that carry the scent throughout the life of the candle. Most others are like posers - come on strong then peter out halfway through the flirtation. 

BIKSS took the afternoon off. We met in town around 1pm and had ourselves a very decent hot pot lunch. 

Set meal for two - fish, chicken, pork and beef slices, two trays of veggie/mushrooms, and two servings of tanghoon (mungbean vermicelli), with a pot containing a choice of 2 different soups - BIKSS picked a spicy tom yum and mine was a herbal chicken soup, Chinese style.

I was amused by the heart shaped tofu

Bubble bubble toil and trouble...

After lunch and having gotten up all the stuff I needed / wanted, we headed out to another mall where there was an outlet store of a brand of shoes that BIKSS likes. He picked up a pair of brown leather oxfords that look something like this - 

Altho I think they might have been a bit darker in colour. 

After shopping we went to a Starbucks, this time we stuck to regular non-sugar-laden drinks. A no-sugar cold brew latte for BIKSS and a decaf mocha for me. 

We had a lovely time people-watching and having what I call "sparkling" conversation. Mainly about BDSM, what and who we thought about while jerking off, sharing dirty secret fantasies etc. It was fun, and something we hadn't done in a long time, mainly because we haven't had to opportunity to just chat for hours and hours at a stretch in a long time. 

And even after all this time we both managed to discover new things about each other. Which was lovely and amusing. 

One of the things that came up was my early fantasies. BDSM friend had asked me how young I was when I realised I was a sub. I told her I had fantasies featuring a strict dance teacher that began when I was maybe 9 or 10. I didn't elaborate beyond that. But it started me thinking and by the time we sat down to coffee (me and BIKSS) I had managed to recall those early fantasies in a bit more detail.

I shared that while I never had a storyline in my head when I was masturbating, there was always an imagining of an environment in which I was in a class or group engaging in some kind of activity or attending a lesson under the tutelage of a strict disciplinarian / authority figure. I never pictured the actual activity or lesson in detail, but mostly it was some physical thing. Dance class, or exercise session, sometimes a music lesson, or just some form of physical training for a phantom competition I was preparing for. 

The main thing was that we were always pushed to some limit, Be quiet, Do it again, Don't stop, Keep moving,  and a lot of the time the most prominent feature was a voice in my head lecturing and scolding and being very stern about complying with the rules / instructions etc. 

There was never any punishment or consequence - I was always very obedient in my fantasies LOL. 

BIKSS knew some of this already, but I don't think I ever talked too much about it. Mainly, I suspect, because I had forgotten most of it. Until now. It's amazing what the mind remembers. I never thought of it as submission though. 

On his part, his fantasies always involved rough sex. He, too, never thought of it within the framework of D/s. But there was definitely hair pulling and choking! His choice of porn also reflected this aspect of his sexual preference. 

I suppose it's a good thing our tastes match up then. So that my saying I wanted to be TiH (that was my first encounter with anything resembling D/s when I started looking up this stuff on the web) didn't freak him out as much as it might have someone else who only thought about tender vanilla sex (yuck!) and gave him an avenue to explore his darker side. 

How about you? Did you fantasise about the kink you now partake in as a child? When did you know? How did you come to find out that you were into D/s , BDSM , whatever you call it? 

My mood pic today comes with a story ~

Midway through our sparkling conversation I said something about Pythagoras' Theorem and BIKSS went on to say something totally incorrect about it. Well, Maths was never his forte. I, on the other hand, had 'A's in the subject all through school. Anyway, I began to explain what it was and he protested, saying he didn't want to know, he wouldn't ever need to use it and I should stop before he retaliates with the details of WW1 and WW2 (I don't tolerate History well and often my eyes glaze over after 3 sentences, max, and not in that subspace way either!) 

I was laughing hysterically, giggly as shit cos he was being really funny gesticulating all over the place. But before things escalated I agreed to shut up. Then proceeded to fold a napkin. And a piece of paper. To illustrate a right-angled triangle, under the guise of mopping up the ring of condensation that had formed under his cup. When he picked up his cup to take a sip I pointed at the longest side and said - "That's the hypotenuse!"

He called me a sneaky little thing. :D

A Vignette

Possible Trigger Alert - Face Slapping


_______________________________



I turn around and see him walk through the doorway. 

His frame fills up the space where a moment ago I could see right across the living room and out the window to the trees beyond. It'll be dark soon. Our sunsets are terribly quick.

I can smell him. No, wait. That shouldn't be right. Now I smell my room, my sheets; I know I am asleep, dreaming. 

But I smell his scent anyway. With my mind, if not my olfactory receptors .

He is close. In front of me now. I can feel the heat from his chest. He leans forward to kiss me... with his hand as much as his lips...

...The hand that even now maintains its grip on me as his mouth pulls away. Cradling my head as he examines, nay, admires his girl. 

His eyes barely leave my face when he spots something in the corner of the room. I don't even know what it is. I think it's a toy.. or a ball. Maybe. 

It's red. 

The hand that held me so delicately a moment ago flies across my cheek. 

"Why is it red?"  he asks. He is calm. Not upset. But it wasn't just a question. It was a question punctuated by a slap.  This tells me it - whatever "it" is - isn't supposed to be red.

I'm silent. Confused. I look in the direction he had been looking. What even *IS* that? A ball? 

He is waiting. I face forward again, looking into his expressionless face. I am aware at this point that I'm comparing his tone of voice to that of someone asking to "pass the salt".

"Hm?" He wants to know.

And again. 

"Why is it red?"

I have no idea what I'm looking at. And I definitely don't know why it's red, or what it was supposed to be if not red. But I get the very distinct feeling I'm supposed to fix it. 

He points at it with his chin as if to confirm my last impulse, then turns around and out the door. 

And I wake up. Wet.

Mulling - The Friday Sex Talk (and a Reminder Spanking!)

**ULTRA LONG POST ADVISORY**

We went out to dinner last night, and after a lovely meal in a quiet-ish corner of the restaurant where I ate too much I told him I realised that when I get busy and don't have time for myself (running around with errands, taking mum to check-ups, dealing with admin / mail, sorting through old photographs - another bag arrived!) it's not so much that I can't do the things I want to do, but more a case of not being able to sit with myself and mull over things. 

"I'm definitely NOT a muller," he said to me. 

Which led to a lovely exploring-each-others'-brains type of conversation in the car. I love those types of chats. 

Eventually we got to talking about how I'm the MOST turned on and tingly when he does something that asserts his power. Mostly in the bedroom, but in reality, anytime he does a Daddy type thing that pulls me back or reminds me of my place I get a bit warm and fuzzy in my belly. 

Turns out I would get more than I bargained for tonight.

Dinner was at the quiet resort-atmosphere-esque restaurant where we celebrated both our birthdays. We tried a traditional Indonesian dish of Tahu Telor, but with a local twist - a Malay spicy soy sauce instead of the usual sweet version. It was so huge. Thankfully the bottom half was all fluffly deep fried egg white!

(We had them take the dish back and sauté the prawns cos it came cold, even tho the waiter reassured us it was served warm - I can't handle cold prawns... gives me the runs! After that it was fantastic.)

With the spicy soy sauce drizzled over.

Fried chicken wings with kicap (kee-chup) manis (mah-nis) - a spicy, thick, syrupy, sweet soy sauce popular in Malay / Indonesian kitchens - comp-ed, as per their usual custom.

Salmon lemongrass - BIKSS is particularly fond of fish - and rather a stickler for having it done properly. So far he has had only good things to say about the fish mains we've had at this chain.

Instead of cake, we ordered (and paid for) a cempedak crumble. I think it might have been the best dessert I've eaten at this chain of restaurants so far. Mayhaps the overdose of free cakes might have something to do with that. I don't know how to describe cempedak to you except to say it's related to the jackfruit, but the flesh is a creamier and more fibrous texture. It's a very rich flavour, even pungent, but very sweet. 

As BIKSS prefers cake to crumble, and me the reverse, we had a difference of opinion regarding which was the better dessert! LOL. (They did still give us two slices to take home with us, and this time he took them home cos I was just up to my eyeballs in cake by now.)

When we were safely hidden away in the room, I began to undress, letting the spaghetti strap of my dress fall off my shoulder. 

"I like how that's coming off you," he remarked. And came over to assist. Soon I was in my lace panties and nothing else, sitting on the bed and facing his crotch. He undid his jeans and freed Roger from his shorts. I immediately began sucking. 

As we had been discussing how power and dominance turns me on earlier, he took the opportunity to ramp up his Daddy Dom game. Gentle caresses were abandoned in favour of sudden nipple pinches. Hair stroking for neck grabbing. Kissing for slaps across my cheek. 

My legs were spread and held open, his fingers playing with my clit, then pussy. And one finger found its way into my bum hole. I mean, yes, I had been thinking about it recently, but most of the time he'll check with me if I'm having a 'good' bum day. 

Not this night tho. 

After some time of being lost in the sensations down below he asked me if he thought I could handle Roger. I said yes. And he got the lube. 

Anal sex isn't pleasurable for me physically. It doesn't hurt if I'm in a receptive enough state. But it's nowhere near pleasurable. More like tolerable. I do it because it's the one thing I can offer him that isn't "good" or "okay" or "neutral" to me. It's a bit to the left of neutral, creeping into the "dislike" zone. 

And when I'm giving him something I don't like, that makes me feel very submissive. 

After cleaning up we talked about the spectrum of our sexual encounters, from plain ol' / simple all the way to phenomenal, and where our different adventures lie on a scale of 0 to 10. 

We also talked about what was something that I "didn't like" that I could offer as a form of submission, on par with the act of offering anal, but that would still let him fuck pussy instead of butt (cos he still prefers that, in terms of physical sensations). Somehow topics like threesomes and 2-couple/partner-swapping sex came up and as he presented these scenarios to me he started fiddling with me again. 

When we had sex this time around it seemed like he might not cum, having had one quite soon before, but when I proposed my own scenario... 

"What if you were watching someone else fuck me the way you are now... seeing his cock thrusting into my pussy like that..."

...he stuck his thumb in my mouth and I sucked it hard.

He countered with "Maybe I won't be just watching, I would fuck your mouth, and you would suck on Roger just like that." (BTW, dirty talk isn't something we do often, I feel kinda strange doing it TBH... but it felt right at that point.)

That must have done something for him cos he came, sweaty and panting after prolonged exertion. 

We talked about why it wouldn't be possible for me to enjoy something like that tho'. The conclusion I came to was that I wouldn't be able to manage switching between little (which I reserve ONLY for BIKSS) and controlling bitch (which is how I've always been with all other sex partners). And that would cause a problem because I refuse to be a sub for another man, but it's not as if I can be domineering and such to a fella my Dom is directing me to fuck right? And even if he said I could be as sassy and dommy as I wanted, it would be weird being that way in bed with the fella while still taking instruction (as a little) from Daddy who's watching from the sidelines, no?

As he mm-hmm-ed his agreement with my analysis, BIKSS turned on his side and reached for my pussy. Without thinking (possibly cos part of my brain was in bitch mode) I swatted his hand away. And not in that playful Don't, Daddy way either. He told me later he was rather taken aback that I did that. He reacted by smacking my inner thigh immediately with a pretty stern "What was that?" I did say "Sorry Daddy", but I think it was an automatic reflex. I don't think anything was registering in my brain. I sure as hell didn't MEAN it.

Then he smacked me again. "Hm? What was that? Swatting my hand away?"  If he had left it there - which he said he actually thought was enough to jolt me back to the present - I think I would have started a fight cos I was still in default sass-bitch headspace. But he didn't. He pushed my legs apart and held my face in place with the arm that was under me, then continued smacking my inner thighs, alternating between sides, sometimes doubling up on the same side, just to keep me guessing, I suppose. 

In the calmest, smoothest voice he spoke into my ear. "Someone's forgotten her place, hm? You're Daddy's little girl, don't you forget it. You don't swat my hand away. What was that about? Daddy's girl doesn't do that. Right? No. She doesn't slap my hand away when I reach for her."

All through his litany he was smacking. And finally I felt it. And it hurt! Funny I didn't feel it till now. The sting was coming through, breaking into my thoughts and consciousness. I realised *then* what I had done. But it wasn't till he was almost at the end of the smacking that I apologised again. And meant it this time. 

(He did say a large part of the continuation after the first two smacks was just going along with the scene, but that maybe 10-20% of it was genuine "chastisement". I told him it was a good thing he went on.  If I were to hazard a guess I don't think BIKSS was aware of just how serious/significant that little episode was to me until I told him either.) 

When he was done spanking me I put my legs together and turned towards him, burying my face in his chest. He held me and comforted me. I didn't know what had come over me, but that spanking was definitely a good call. My thighs continued stinging for some time after that, let me tell you.

Earlier in the evening I had asked if we could play with the cane... he said yes but instead of doing so BEFORE the sex, it seems he intended that our cane session would come at the end. Cos he wanted to do that NOW. 

"Ready for your cane?"

Looking up at him, I shook my head, no. 

"4 stripes." 

"Wait wait wait!" 

He chortled.

"Why are you laughing Daddy?"

"Cos you suddenly sounded so desperate and alarmed."

That's when I said "I think I'm feeling a bit fragile about what just happened to play with the cane right now. What was that about, the smacking my inner thighs?" 

"A reminder. Reset. You were lost in your old self. It wasn't a punishment. I just needed to pull you back." 

"I know. But that's cos you were talking about having me be with other people, and you know how I used to be with the others ...  so it's your fault!" 

"It is. And I will accept the blame for that."

And he kissed me and rubbed my back, and held me tight some more. We talked and I said all the things I needed to say and asked all the things I needed to ask. When I was eventually done working out what happened, I thanked him for the spanking. He checked if I was feeling ok. Yes, I said. 

"I think you can get the cane now, I could do with a proper reset."

He got up to get it as I turned over to lie on my front. 

Tap tap tap tap Swish... and it went on like that till he had gotten in the 4 strokes he had promised. Then he said "6."

So he continued the tappety taps with intermittent proper swishes in between till he reached the number he wanted.

Then he stopped. And he came to lie down and hold me tight. 

Later, as he was about to get up to get dressed he picked up the cane again, it had been placed beside me so his hand found it easily enough, and proceeded to swat my inner thighs with it. 

It wasn't a spanking session per se, we were just experimenting with it. It felt really good. And probably way more efficient than a traditional ass spanking, imho. I get an ouchier (and more lingering) sting from a much lighter stroke on my thigh than from a heavier one on my butt.

"You know, of all the toys, the cane really IS my favourite." 

My mood pic today ~

Treats and a Fabulous, Funny Dinner Date

By treats I mean truffle-anything. 

A couple days ago I found some leftover truffle mayo from a takeaway and happily slathered it onto the wrap I had fixed myself for dinner. But I wanted more. 

So I went hunting. It's not easy to come by it in my part of the world. And the ones I've seen in the shops are crazy expensive, cos they're sold only by high end grocers. 

But a friend told me recently that Marks and Sparks had truffle things so I went into town yesterday to check it out. 

I got myself some truffle pesto and truffle mayo and I'm now a happy lidl girl. 

And then I thought, hey since I was already there, and I remembered that I had mall vouchers to use up, why not pick up some roasted peppers antipasti. And orange marshmallow teacakes for the mother. And carrot and coriander soup. And béchamel sauce. I might have gotten a little bit carried away. But to be fair, these are not things I typically have in my larder cos they're not exactly the mainstay of Asian food, but I do enjoy European flavours every now and again. So I decided to splurge a bit.

BIKSS came to get me after my shopping and we went to have dinner at the social enterprise place we discovered pre-Covid. (We had our V day dinner there too, btw.) Not surprisingly we ordered the battered eggplants and sous vide egg Caesar salad again, but this time with a seafood main course. It came with their signature creamy mash underneath topped with a delicious white sauce. Good stuff. I really enjoyed it. 

Salad on the left, brinjals on the right, 

and seafood-a-la-king below.

Dinner was unexpectedly fun cos while I was busying myself with the brinjals, BIKSS dished some salad onto my plate... and because the egg yolk was runny he spooned that straight into my mouth. I felt very little letting him feed me. And I liked it. 

So when the main dish arrived, I peered at it and didn't move while he went ahead and chucked the mussels on my plate (cos he doesn't like em). And since he was already in there, he just went ahead and divided the prawns, squid and fish. 

"I don't want the carrots... " I half whined.

"You don't want cauliflower too right?"

"I'd rather not.."

"Broccoli then."

"OK. Broccoli."

I think there is a time for service - I do find myself serving him food both at home and when we dine out - but there is definitely also a time for being little and letting him pamper me. Last night was a definite "I NEED YOU TO SPOIL ME" night. 

Post-dinner, we ran some errands - picked up some honey mustard from a convenience store on the way home,  stopped at an ATM for me to fiddle with a new card that needed PIN-changing, and then he topped up some gas at the petrol station.

Then we came home. The mother was awake but I couldn't be bothered to sneak him in. I planned on saying he came to help me with the computer, but as it turned out, my helper wasn't wearing any shorts and that led to a very natural shooing of him into my room. Let me explain. This non-wearing of shorts is normal for me and her cos we both walk around, at night especially, in long t-shirts (PJs) and undies. And as there are no guys in this house I told her it was fine with me. Who's gonna care right?

But when I'm expecting people I let her know in advance and she'll make sure to have pants on. Only I didn't tell her BIKSS was coming over last night, so when I opened the door I announced "X's here, whoever's not wearing pants stay put on the sofa and don't move!"

She giggled and pulled a throw cushion firmly down on her lap. Mum and I laughed and I ushered BIKSS straight into the room and said "Go, go, your lappy is in there".  And he scurried away from the living room into the safety of my lair (BTW, he says I've been saying that word wrong all my life!).

It was a perfectly convenient excuse to have him hide inside and not be out in the living room cos they were still watching telly. 

In any case, mum knows I have friends (both guys and girls) over regularly and they've come and hung out in the room often enough (so as not to disturb her telly-watching in the living area).  So I don't think she really cares, tbh.

We chit-chatted innocently on the bed, in case she needed something and knocked on the door at an inconvenient time... until I saw something flitting about. 'Twas a MOTH! I hate moths. I'm deathly afraid of them. (But won't hesitate to kill one if I have to - if only to stop it from existing in the same space as me.)

The thing is, BIKSS' eyesight isn't as keen as it once was. LOL. And he couldn't see it. But I was jumping around getting freaked out, between trying to get away and killing it, in turn.  In retrospect, a light summer kimono is probably the worst moth-kill weapon ever. Eventually it flew behind the piano and he said that I should just leave it be as there was no way I could get at it.

"What? How? What am I going to do? I can't leave it there... ALIVE!"

"Spray some insecticide."

"But then my whole room will smell!"

"Don't you have some lavender thing ... "

"I do!" 

So I pointed my lavender spray at it and hit the nozzle! 

When I shone my phone torch behind the piano to check, it was quite arrogantly perched on the side of the frame, presumably smelling of flowers.

"It's still there! You've got to kill it!"

"It'll die on its own... "

"No it wont, it's very much alive... how is it supposed to die anyway?"

"Cos you've already sprayed it!"

"Yeah, with lavender!"

"What??"

I showed him the can and he burst out laughing. Then I collapsed onto the bed in a fit of giggles too. And while we were both laughing ourselves to tears, he said, "When I said Don't you have some lavender thing, I meant, don't you have a non-stinky insecticide that smells of lavender or some other natural thing that you like so much??"

"How was I supposed to know? You said 'Don't you have lavender..' so I sprayed it with lavender! Cos I DO have lavender!"

He sat back down on the bed with me, both of us getting the last vestiges of laughter out of our systems. And waited. Either for the moth to do something. Or for one of us to come up with a plan that DIDN'T involve lavender.

In the end it flitted down to the floor and I wet a piece of tissue to go at it. But it was in a weird corner and I wasn't sure it would be a one-shot-kill for me.

"Want me to do it?" 

"No. You can hardly see it... (Then, changing my mind)  Ok. Yes. I'm not going to try cos I'll probably hit my hand against the side of the piano trying to get at it."

So HE DID IT. But not before muttering a "Sorry buddy... " under his breath.

"Done."

"Show me!"

I made him half open the tissue so I could see it. And I sure as heck made certain it was well and truly dead!

After that exciting interlude we continued talking till I heard mum go into her room and shut her door.

Which is when I asked BIKSS if he wanted to cuddle. 

And we did. I found a new dragon hair - he has this one strand growing on the inside of his upper arm... he called it his dragon hair. But the original one must have gotten yanked out cos it disappeared some time ago. Well, last night while laying on his arm I felt a tickle against my cheek. When I lifted my head to have a look I found a new one growing. Finer, and shorter, than its predecessor... but it was definitely there. 

"Dragon hair daddy!"

He didn't realise it had grown back either so he was quite pleased about that. It's his lucky dragon hair, he says. 

Anyway.. I started nuzzling on the inside of his arm, and planting kisses up and down as he talked... and suddenly in mid-sentence he said, "You'd better stop doing that... Roger's getting hard."

"You like that? Like in a sexy way?"

"It's naaaaise."

So I continued doing what I was doing. Did he honestly think I was going to stop?

I had pulled off my tee and he reached to pull down the cup of my bra when I hollered, "No wait, let me take it off. It's only $5!"

What I meant by that was that it wasn't by any means a 'good quality' bra as it was soooo cheap, and I wasn't sure it could stand up to the manhandling. LOL.

He laughed at that too. It was a bit of a weird laughy-jokey night. 

Until he said to please take something off. For some reason my brain glitched and I got hot and bothered by that "please". I'm still thinking about that line today. Which tells me something is definitely up. 

Somehow it just triggered a fantasy of a transactional sexual encounter, or one involving unfamiliar people who are just beginning to get acquainted. 

A daddy and a little having sex for the first time maybe... but it seemed more formal than that. There was no lip on lip kissing, just two of us lying in bed and talking... and then me getting faux-horrified cos he stuck his hand all the way down my shorts into my underwear and I exclaimed that I should wear better fitting shorts cos his hand (and it's not a small hand) could get all the way down to my pussy.

I got up to remove it, and I think that's when he said "Please take it off". It's not a typical speech pattern for him. BIKSS is more likely to say "You should take that off" or "I think those shorts shouldn't be on you"... but never PLEASE-something-something. 

It was .. polite. Which brings me back to the feeling of it being transactional. 

And slightly terrifying. In the manner of a captor knowing (and so do you, for that matter) that he has you in his grasp and you're at his mercy and you can't do jackshit about it so would you please do what he says now or else you'll just end up doing it later ANYWAY - but the hard way. 

Ok. My brain has clearly not gotten over this cos as soon as one instance is played out another pops into its place. 

I'm still thinking about that possibility of a more transactional encounter - not necessarily a sex worker... more like a paid sub. I'll do what you tell me to. But as things can go very south very quickly, he's thought about being polite, creating some semblance of earning my trust. Please take that off... (and then I will continue to have my way with you). 

In any case, it turned out to be a quick but very hot session. He took off his pants too and his cock was at the ready. "Roger's hard I see..."

"What are you going to do about that?"

I wrapped my hand around him and he moaned. 

He dislodged his cock from my grip almost immediately and moved upwards to my face. He proceeded to stick it in my mouth, pumping right into the back of my throat. 

I gagged. I looked up at him as he grunted his approval. And he smiled. 

His "Good girl" smile. 

Hot and Bothered, Thanks Ms Julie

So remember that piece I did some while ago The Hand that Spanks ?

Well Ms Julie of Strict Julie Spanks ran with it in her fabulously filthy mind and spun a whole novel to which she masturbated. I love it. And I'm hoping you'll love it too. 

If you haven't read it - go over there now. 

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I PRESENT ..... 

The teaser post is here.

And the session proper is here. PHOTOS TOO!

Here's an excerpt:

"He pulled me down across his left thigh. My head was very close to the ground. I felt one hard smack to my bottom. It finally dawned on me. I was to be spanked. Spanked like a naughty child on her bare bottom, fully nude, in front of an audience of men. This could not be happening. I was an important and powerful businesswoman, not a child to be spanked on her bare bum! I felt completely humiliated. "

Now how's that for great smut?

All I Really Wanted was some D/s

The thing about talking about fantasies, is that it really gets me going. We had a long and lovely session in bed last night after dinner and washing up, and got to talking about threesomes and rape fantasies. 

But what I realised was at the time when those fantasies started appearing in my head, I didn't have the right label for them. They always involved rough sex, being taken, forced into bed, even being brought to task with a spanking.  When BIKSS asked about the actual scenarios, I told him it didn't really "look" like a rape fantasy, truth be told. He suggested a few scenes - kidnapped and chucked into a van, captured by terrorists, I can't remember the third.

It was none of those. It was just some hot dude that I fancied and I was always willing (deep down) to let him have his way with me, but the story always involved one of two things - 1) I wasn't in the mood / I was being bratty and mean to him, or 2) perhaps it was too soon, we hadn't known each other long enough, or we weren't officially dating and so the sex was unexpected.

BIKSS shared that he too had had rough-sex fantasies.. But we clarified that it wasn't really about rough sex. It was dominant sex - Do-What-I-Say sex. I kinda figured rough sex would involve BOTH parties wanting to have sex, just the manner in which they did it involved more manhandling - from both sides.

We were young and clueless about the BDSM world when these fantasies began to pop into our heads. But looking back, the style of the sex fit in perfectly with the way we NOW have sex. I guess I knew what I wanted all along, I just didn't know what it was called. 

Fantasy Fucking Fun - A summary

Me and BIKSS - talking about what it would be like to be in the same room with another couple (we actually HAVE a couple in mind, this time) and having them watch us while I give him a blowjob. 

The guy in mind is a new friend. Met on a dating app. Not date material. But he's ok as a friend. Same background, and it turns out we know a lot of the same people. So it's not really like meeting a total stranger. My best friend is friends with his sister, it turns out. 

Anyway, the summary. He says his gf doesn't enjoy / give (good) blowjobs and she sure as heck doesn't swallow. 

We talked about the dd/lg I have with BIKSS cos some of the questions on the dating app kinda ask about sex and he asked me about my response to one of the questions. In order to give him a clearer picture as to the "rough sex over gentle sex" answer, I thought it best to frame it within the realm of D/s. 

So here was I, asking BIKSS what he thought about giving them a show and tell, and maybe his gf could learn a thing or two. Perhaps I could make a cock-worshipping sub out of her even LOL.

image taken off the web

Fast forward a day later and we're having the best freaking romp we've had in a while - we're talking double dildo, vibe, all the pinching, slapping, spanking...  I even had my finger in his ass by the end of the night. 

I realised that evening that BIKSS never told me exactly how he liked me to present. So I asked him. Talk about feeling self-conscious. He said he wasn't too fussy, this was fine. Show me, I pushed. 

He did. Knees apart, he said. Then he placed his hands on the side of my hips and lifted my butt higher. Like this. 

Sigh. Like this. 

"Like this" means now my thighs are aching from the extended length that I was in that pose. 

And all that rough / anal / messy play likely caught me a UTI. I'm on antibiotics today. And will be for 3 days. Till Friday. Which is when we hop across the border for some mid-autumn festival mooncakes!! 

Tell you about it after :)

Spank Bank

The lovely Baker and I were chatting about needing regular GG / maintenance spankings, and I mentioned how fantastic it would be if we could bank in our spanks to save up for days when our men were away. 

If only technology would hurry up and invent sensory replicating programmes already! 

I can just see it. 

First the electrodes would go on the temples. These would be attached to a computer where a program is running, and set to "record" mode. 

Then the spankings would commence. It would pick up all the currents that fire through the brain as one is getting spanked. The emotions, the physical sensations, the sounds and sights. (Sometimes my eyes are closed, but I have been known to tell myself to look at a spot on the floor, or concentrate on the wall in front of me.) The way the room smells, HE smells. The heat rising in one's buttocks, or the layer of sweat forming on one's skin.  

Everything would be recorded. And when the spanking was over I (for one) would keep recording. To capture the hugs, cuddles, words of affirmation and reassurance. 

And the files could be saved - like you would any audio or video file - on your desktop : "Flogger, July 7th" or "Cane and paddle, September 16th". Even, "GG spanking #4" or "Punishment spanking #2". Name them in order of intensity, by location, according to purpose. Whatever you prefer. 

So that when our fellas are away we could put those same electrodes on and set the program to transmit / play and it would send back all the information from whichever event you desire to your brain so that you could relive the moment again. 

Wouldn't it be a wonderful to stay "spanked" even when our Doms are far away and unable to spank us in person? 

Picture from zmescience.com

A Fantasy Story for BIKSS

The evening of BIKSS' departure from where he was on his work trip, I asked if we were meeting the following day. He said yes... 

I asked if we were having dinner, or was he just swinging by for a good pussy-fucking. 

Yes, I'm hoping dinner. And a good pussy-fucking sounds really good. 

"I have a fantasy," I say... 

~~~~~~~~~~~

That you enter my room,  and immediately pull me close to kiss me, one hand gripping my hair, the other cupping my chin. You are rough. Raw. Primal.

You release me and slap my cheek.

“Miss me, little girl?”

"I do," I pant.

“Good. Show me.”

I reach down, intending to undo your belt and pants.

“Uh-uh,” you say.

I’m confused.

“Show me what you miss...”

“But I miss Roger,” I reply.

“Only Roger?”

You wrap your hand around my throat.

“And you,” I don't hesitate, "Of course.”

“And what about me do you miss?”

“The way your touch feels...”

“Show me.”

I’m not sure what you want...

“Show you what I miss you doing to me?”

“Clever girl.”

You continue, ”You can start by getting out of this,” you tug at my top.

You take a step back and give me enough space to move my arms as I pull my tank off.

I’m standing in only my panties.

“Well then, what is it that I do with my hands that you miss?”

I reach tentatively for a nipple. You look at it greedily, your eyes no longer holding my gaze.

I take my nipple between thumb and index finger...

“I don't recall being so gentle with your tits...”

My face is flushed, half from lust and half from embarrassment.

I pinch my tit and wince a little.

“That's more like it...” you say approvingly.

I fiddle with my nipple and twist it this way and that. The way I imagine you do, uncertain if that is indeed how you do it. The thought occurs to me that I don't exactly know what you do because I normally shut my eyes.

“What are you planning on doing with your other hand? You seem to have a free tit.”

I reach up with my free hand and follow suit with the by-now not-so-free tit.

I’m gasping a little, from the sensations, but mostly from being watched.

I get shy all of a sudden and shut my eyes.

It's a little more bearable now that I don't have to look at you watching my hands.

“Isn't it about the time I would usually move to check on my pussy? See how wet she is?”

I recognise you’re guiding me.

I move the first hand down to my panties.

I am unsure if I should pull them down.

You position my hand on my mons.

Through the fabric I press down on my clit. My legs buckle ever so slightly.

I realise it would look quite awkward if I were to reach further back towards my pussy. A half-squat doesn't seem the sexiest pose.

“Bed. Go."

I feel a wave of butterflies in my stomach.

Not even a sentence. Just two words.

And my insides are jelly.

I climb onto the bed, one hand on crotch, in a manner so ungainly I wonder if you’re still enjoying this.

Finally I manage to settle onto my back. My tit hand has come away from my body - I must have used it to support myself as I was getting into bed.

“Your hand get tired?” you tease.

“No,” I squeak, and go back to twiddling my nipples. 

What is going on??? I ask myself in my head. Who IS this person - this isn't me!

But it is.

You stretch out beside me, in your undershirt. When did you take your shirt off? I wonder.

“The crotch of your panties is soaked through...” you say in feigned amusement.

I continue rubbing my pussy through my underwear, not realising I’m pinching my nipples harder now, moving from one to the other and back again. 

“It looks like you don't need me, OR roger, for that matter. You’ve got this haven't you?”

I turn to face you immediately...

“Nooo!” I whine.

“I want Daddy’s hands. Daddy’s cock!”

“To do this? To touch you and make you wet?” You prop yourself up on your side and reach down between my legs with your hand, pushing the fabric of my underwear aside as you begin an assault on my clit and pussy.

I wriggle under your touch, but you hold my thigh down and open with the weight of your own leg.

I'm in for a treat, I think triumphantly.

The moans come unabashedly.

My breathing quickens.

Your face is at my neck, taking in my scent, kissing me, your chin brushing against my skin with your stubble.

It's gentle and hard and tender and rough all at once.

I buck under your fingers.

You slap my inner thigh.

I groan at the smack.

“Don't move.”

There it is again. The whimpering.

I don't control it. I can't. The sounds I make are involuntary.

I reach for you with my hands, feeling your shoulders, your arms.

I pull your tee-shirt off and you stop long enough to let me.

You pull my hands above my head and hold them there with your supporting arm, and the delicious torment on my clit continues.

~~~~~~~~~~

It ends there... but just to be sure he doesn't get any ideas... I wrote...

His reply made me smile. He knows how self-conscious I am and how I feel about being watched.  We've talked about this before. 

Fantasy Spanking

BIKSS asked me to describe a fantasy spanking... I told him I've always thought it would be exciting to receive a punishment spanking - just not a real one (cos we don't do that) with all the bad and nasty guilty feelings that come with having done something bad and deserving of one. 

Now that I think about it, it isn't really that I want a punishment spanking. It's more that I crave the "talking to" - either because I've done something wrong and deserve a spanking, or it could simply be that I'm in need of one and don't know it. (Which is often the case, by the way.)

Don't get me wrong, BIKSS does an awesome job of talking through a spanking when the occasion calls for it. But sometimes he's quiet and I'm quiet and we're just listening to our respective sounds... the breathing, the tinkle of his belt buckle, the creak of the bed boards as he moves about around me. Sometimes I'm playful and he's teasing, and we laugh and make a whole lot of happy sounds, sometimes it's serious and he reassures me while I hiss and whine, not too loudly of course because I'm a good girl that way. (Nods, uh huh, that I am!)

So perhaps fantasy spanking isn't the right term. Maybe we should have menus and order chits. That way I can tell Daddy just what kind of spanking I'm in the mood for / need / want. 

For example, for our next session I might say :

I would like to order 3 positions please. First, I'll start with OTK, then I'll have some of that flat on the bed (lying on my front beside Daddy) and let's add an order of presenting before I finish off kneeling between his legs. 

For my appetizer, a hand warm-up which slowly increases in speed and intensity till I'm almost panting, then a rhythmic but less intense session of alternating slaps and rubs. 

Next, for the salad, we'll be lying side by side in bed while he uses the rubber spanker on my tush, sometimes smacking one cheek at a time, sometimes landing that awful thing on both. This salad need not be tossed as I will likely be doing the tossing. 

Of course I'm a greedy lidl girl so after this I should like to have more hand spanks, and lots of rubbing, before he tells me to present for the main course.  He will have me wait patiently so as to calm my mind while he removes the belt from his pants and gets ready to use it on my bottom. It will be a meaty course, with simple but tasty ingredients. Not too cluttered, a light marinade, but full of oomph (and ouches) and vigour. 

When the main dish is done, we will have dessert. This will be some kneeling time, and some cock-worshipping on my part. He will be relaxed and enjoy the view while I thank him for my wonderful spanking meal. 

Now we all know that ambience is important to any dining experience is it not? The atmosphere will have to be one of care and concern, of confidence and reassurance. 

"You need this, little girl. Daddy knows."

"Just breathe it all out. Let me spank all the tension away."

"You've been holding it in far too long, you don't have to. I'm here to help you let it  go."

"This is what you need. This is what you want. This is what Daddy's here to give you."

Ah... the perfect music to accompany a fabulous meal. 

Perhaps it IS a fantasy spanking after all...

Post Sex Fantasy

I will think about this for days to come. How you swung your leg above my shoulder and pinned me in place as I lay on my side and sucked on your cock. It took all of 1.5 seconds for me to realise I couldn't move at all. And then my pussy clenched and drenched itself in pleasure.

How you kneeled over me and shoved your cock in my mouth. Then held my head down against the sheets with my hair. Pinching my pussy lips thru the fabric of my knickers, catching my hood in the process. Equal amounts of pain and pleasure coursing through my body upwards into my brain. Pushing yourself deep into my throat and holding me captive with your cock.

How you asked me if I wanted you to fuck me. Telling me to say it. Word for word, instructing me to repeat after you.

How you pulled off my knickers and readied yourself between my spread open legs.

Oh yes. The fantasy continues long after the sex is over.

A Figging Fantasy

It's been a long while now since we tried figging for the first time. 

And while some of my fellow subs around Blogland find it intense, it didn't really do as much for me as say, bondage or blindfolds do... 

So anyway I was reading some other blogs recently and I might be ready to give it another go.

Galangal

But since I live in Asia, I was wondering if any of the other 'spicy' rhizomes would work too?

For example, how about some galangal?  

"Though it is related to and resembles ginger, there is little similarity in taste. In its raw form, galangals have a stronger taste than common ginger. They are available as a whole rhizome, cut or powdered. The whole fresh rhizome is very hard, and slicing it requires a sharp knife."

Turmeric

And what about some turmeric? This one stains too so a Dom could "mark" his sub's butt hole at the same time. Nothing says "this ass is taken" like a bright orange stain now, does it?

"Its active ingredient is curcumin and it has a distinctly earthy, slightly bitter, slightly hot peppery flavor and a mustardy smell." 

The reality of it tho, is that since I haven't seen anything on the web anywhere about using an alternative root, I'm not going to be the one who tries to experiment - not in my own butt anyway! 

On a related note, if you ever want to experiment with "burning" sensations, have a go at Yoko Yoko.... now THAT is hot! I can't imagine having that applied over a freshly-spanked bum! (I've banned BIKSS from ever using this on me - it's on my list of hard limits.) Have a good rest-of-the-week everybody!