Face Slapping - I asked the Boss

My boss is a doctor. I asked him if there was any difference between having one's eyes open or shut when getting slapped, as far as potential for injury is concerned. 

The answer - if the slap is coming from the side, across the cheek, then no. 

Obviously if you're slapping / punching someone IN the face, sqaure from the front, then of course it stands to reason that having one's eyes shut would limit some of the damage from the oncoming impact. 

And what brought all this about? 

BIKSS slapped my face a little bit harder than usual the last time we had a romp. 

Did I like it? Yes. 

Did he realise he was using more force than usual? Yes. (It's worth noting that it's been a while since we played... so this is very much a valid question at this time especially).  

Did he think maybe he should pull back a little? No. Because I didn't seem to mind. 

And yes, I *have* mentioned it when there was too much impact / pain before.

"But um, isn't that the point?" You ask. Yes and no. There is pain that I think is beyond the range in which we normally play, and if it doesn't seem like there is any "danger" in it, then that's pain that I will endure. (My inner sub whoops in delight when this happens!) 

But if it feels like it might leave a mark or comes too close to what I consider to be able to cause any real harm / damage then I will say so. 

I understand this can be difficult to manage with a new partner or one with whom you're not in sync. I'm just glad that with BIKSS it's as easy as saying "Daddy that one was a little bit too hard" and we'll go right on playing without having to call red or yellow or whatever the safeword is. 

I also appreciate that not everyone feels the same way about the using of safewords and I'm sure many of you have devised your own system of letting your partner know where on the spectrum of yellow-to-red you are. I just personally don't like using one so we *gasp* don't actually have a safeword. 

Let me know your thoughts on face slapping, safewording, or anything else really. Comments rock!

Safewords

We were talking in bed, as we are wont to do. And discussing scenarios that might go down better for us than the last debacle. 

"What would you immediately think about when planning a scene?" I asked BIKSS.

1) Bondage

2) Some kind of struggle

3) Some measure of force

We talked about my refusing to let him fuck me, or refusing to open my mouth for his cock. 

SCREEEECH! Sorry about the noisy brakes. Hello? Why on earth would I not want to allow him to fuck me or put Roger in my mouth? 

"Yeah, see, that's the problem. You'd be like 'But this is me... hello?' " he replied.

So I made him a pinkie promise that in my bedroom there would be NO circumstance under which he isn't allowed to fuck me - anywhere. Subsequently, that implies that if I should push his hand away from my tit, clit, anything, or if I were move my face away from his approaching cock, or if I clamped my legs together to prevent entry, he is to take that as a sign of "play" and go ahead and "force" me anyway. 

You see, the problem is that BIKSS is too nice to "force" anyone to do anything. Even now, and I told him this and he agrees, if he were to reach over for a nipple while we were rolling around in bed and I moved his hand away, holding it tight against my face or tried in any other way to distract him from his original intention, he would acquiesce. Willingly. Readily. 

I am sympathetic. This man has gone beyond all that he was taught regarding respecting and treating women in a certain manner, to be the Dom he is to me today. He doesn't deny there is a part of him that finds a thrill in it, takes to it easily even. But by and large he is really quite comfortable being an easy-going sorta guy. Yes, even in bed. 

I reassured him by saying that if it got too scary or too real (the way play-fights between kids can turn into real fights) I would safeword my way out of there. In my mind I thought, well, at the very most I would break down and cry and wail again...

But he was concerned about a safeword for HIM. 

That threw me. 

"You have a safeword. I don't," he stated. 

Um, well. Okaaaay. I thought about it for half a second. 

"You can use my safeword too!"