95 Days On and Pictures from Home and Hobart

In Chinese / Buddhist culture, the 100th day after a person's passing is the point at which their soul is reborn and the family ends its mourning of their loved one's death. 

I am not Buddhist but there is some Chinese in me. And while the family isn't still in mourning (typically we just don't wear bright colours for a week or so) somehow it has become ingrained in our society's general consciousness that the 100th day holds some kind of significance. Not in the sense that we'll hold any special gathering or say any special prayer, but I think it's always been just an acknowledgement on the day that Today's the 100th Day. A day to note, but nothing more. 

For me, it's recognising that 3 months has passed, and in that time I've had a chance to rediscover what my wants and needs are. I've also reorganised and redecorated the house, getting some new stuff that *I've* been coveting, but also finding ways of incorporating mum's things (both her own belongings and items we used in caring for her over the last few years). 

I picked up a lovely wingback chair (pre-owned) at a quarter of the original price, something I'd wanted since before I bought this flat. "When I have my own house, I'll definitely get one!" I used to say. It's only taken me 16 years! The seller threw in the footstool for free when my delivery guys went over to collect it. SCORE! I paid 110 bucks for the set (inclusive of delivery), instead of the $400+ were I to have bought it brand new, AND have to fork out another 35 bucks for delivery on top of that. It's still in very good shape, but had a small water stain on the seat which I've already managed to remove, so it's all good. 

The cushion cover is also new. It's a beautiful plush champagne coloured suede fabric that feels absolutely luxurious! The shawl used to be mum's, it was the one we covered her lap with. The old Singer sewing machine in the background was also mum's. I'm glad I took it over when the other siblings passed on it. 

My bedroom has also been updated. I got a new mattress to place over the existing sofabed, as its cushions are pretty soft and worn out now. My back is aching all the time (from perimenopause and changing over to a lower dose of hormones which is safer for me in the long run but at the same time causing a lot of the original symptoms to reappear, albeit at not as bad a level as when I didn't have any HRT at all), and I'm pretty sure the bed isn't helping. At least a proper mattress takes away one possible contributing factor. 

I've gotten new sheets and cases (in shades of white, off white and light cream) now that I can afford to spoil myself on more 'frivolous' purchases. In the past I was just making do with mismatched bedlinen cos I had more important 'rainy day' eventualities to think about. And I have also gotten myself a new plush and fluffy blanket. The old one was a leftover from when we changed mum's blankie to something a little warmer, and I didn't want it to go to waste. It was admittedly too small for me. So if my toes were warm, my shoulders weren't! LOL. The new one is the proper size for my bed, and covers both me and BIKSS comfortably.

The throws over my living room couch have also been given away as they're properly worn out. I have repurposed my batik cloth and it is now a seat cover. The dining table has a new table cloth and the dining chairs have new cushions. I've pulled out my place mats and for the first time in a long time, last Tuesday, me and CG1 ate at the dining table like civilised people. (In the past there wasn't space on it for eating as it held all of mum's things... medications, creams, rubs, oils, ointments, drops, etc.)

The fruit-slice cushions used to be mum's too. We had her sit on them instead of directly on the geriatric chair seat as the foam provided extra padding and comfort for her not-so-meaty-anymore butt! They have been washed and restuffed, and the more 'used' covers have been chucked into the textile recycling bin.

(pics of chair cushions and table cloth from Ikea website)

The pantry has been cleared of stuff that we don't eat (things that were bought and stored for mum, or for CG2) and what's left is a curated collection of condiments, pastes and canned foods that me and CG1 are more likely to consume on the daily. I had a lot of stuff to giveaway on my freecycle group, let me say. From consumables to hardware. Dishes, pots, metal bowls, potato masher, cleaver and various colanders have all been given away. I finally got some proper liners for the kitchen cupboards and changed out the old ones for some new ones and the drawers and shelves are finally looking less cluttered and more aesthetically me right now.

On the topic of the hormonal problems, I've also begun a 16/8 intermittent fasting regime. It's turning out to be less scary than I thought it would be. This is in an effort to reset my hormones, promote autophagy and get my gut back into shape. I've put on 2 kgs (not so much, but this is despite careful dieting so it's pretty sucky!) since getting off the previous pill, and if I'm not careful it's just going to go upwards and be harder and harder to manage in the long run. We'll see what happens in a week. I've only been at it for 3 days. 

The vacation was wonderful. It was cold! Which was a welcome change from the heat and humidity in where-I-live. There was a huge aurora flare on the weekend of the 11th and 12th of May but by then we had moved on to our Sydney leg of the trip and THAT was a washout! There was pissing rain and overcast skies most of our time there. We walked in the rain almost everyday. And yet we managed to have a splendid time - more me than BIKSS. He took a while to get used to the hustle and bustle of the city after coming from the laid back ease of Hobart. I'm more of a city girl so it was no biggie for me. Perhaps he was also in a bit of a shock as he wasn't expecting it to be so "city" like. 

I'll put up some pics of Tassie here. Sydney fotos will have to wait. 

We arrived in Hobart pretty late so we headed to an Izakaya Bar for dinner. Everything else closes at 6 or 7! It's really not like the shops back home at all, where the malls and everything in them stay open till 10pm! These are wallaby 'wings'. Tastes like chicken. I mean, I'm not going to go out LOOKING for them, but since they had it on the menu, and I'm a pretty adventurous eater, why not right? 

That's our rental car and the air BnB we stayed at. 

Lovely place with a lovely view of the bay at the end of the street.

We headed to farm gate market after attending Mass on Sunday morning. I picked up some whisky for my boss, BIKSS got some gin, smoked cheese, and apples (5 different varieties!), and we decided on a beef burger and korean chicken pau for our lunch. 

Oh and a very satisfying walnut chocolate cookie! It was dense and chewy and delicious, with the perfect ratio of nuts to chocolate chunks to dough!

I've also recently decided that my colour is green. That is, olive, washed out, dirty, dull, khaki green; not pastel, light bright, neon, or jewel greens. A revelation that I came to when I tried on this coat. BIKSS was in the process of getting some jeans, and I was just mucking about in the store trying on various things. To be honest I didn't need a coat, I already had one. And when am I going to need another coat when I live on the equator?

But since I liked it so much and BIKSS thought it looked good, he bought it for me cos there was no way I was going to part with my own money for something I didn't need.

It turned out to be a very good buy cos it was so comfy and warm! That and the merino wool top (below) I picked up later that day were all I needed at the peak of Mt Wellington. That's saying something. I've heard about the wonders of merino wool but since it's so costly back home (I mean, no one needs it in Asia, let's be honest) I didn't get a chance to buy one before our trip. I'm glad I found this one at Target for under $50. 

In the evening we drove to Tinderbox beach, in the hopes that we might get some idea of where to set up the camera etc in case Lady Aurora decided to show up. Sadly, there was no aurora. But delightfully, BIKSS brought Bromley and Cuthbert along to Australia as a surprise for me, cos he said I hadn't seen them for a long time, and why not have them along for the trip?! So while I was off having a smoke he set the boys up on the table and took this photo, then sent it to me. It was so sweet! I love it when he does things like that that make me smile.  

The next day we had fish and chips at a fish and chips shop by one of the piers. I thought the sign was adorable. The gulls look a bit disappointed tho.

View from the top of Mt Wellington. I have way too many photos of the scenery from up here! 

Suffice it to say, it was gorgeous. And very very cold. 

One of the cafes we stopped in at for a cuppa (near Goat's Bluff Lookout) while waiting to see if there would be an Aurora showing that night - the bookshelf looked a mess so as I was browsing to pick up something to read, I ended up neatening the shelves. BIKSS was only half amused. 

We went to Mt Nelson's The Signal Station for brunch specifically cos I'd seen this on their menu - 

... and I just knew I needed to try it. I was not disappointed. It was very interesting! 

And now I can say I've had a spinach and corn waffle!

We hadn't planned on visiting the zoos or animal parks initially, cos that's not really our thing, but when I came across the Bonorong Wildlife Sanctuary website the week before we left I thought it might be something to put on the standby list of places we might go to if time permitted. I'm glad we made it. It's not the first time I've been to Australia, this is probably like my 5th time or something, but it WAS the first time I came up close and personal with a roo!

And that was the last day of our Hobart leg of the trip. We flew to Sydney the day after. I'll post pictures later on. 

In the meantime, thank you all for the outpouring of love and prayers and condolences. I just want you to know that I'm doing ok, and figuring out a new normal for me and CG1. With the perimenopause taking up so much of my energy and bandwidth, I'm definitely not bored or without something to concentrate/focus on. I'm glad it chose to act up only NOW tho, and not when mum still needed caring for. 

BIKSS is planning a few work trips to nearby countries in the second half of the year, and while I was initially reluctant to go with cos it would mean taking time off work and dealing with making up classes for the piano kids, AND having to spend extra money on flights to places I'd already been (plus he'll be at work so it won't be an US holiday, more like a ME-time solo shopping and cafe chill-out experience); in the end I decided that if the tickets turn out to be not too costly and I am able to spare the expense, I should go. Who knows when I'll keel over and drop dead. And I'm not opposed to a solo mall walkabout or cafe hang, it's just not something I'd do at home cos there's always OTHER stuff that needs doing. So why not. Life is short. And if I can afford it, I'm doing it. 

 

I TAKE THAT TO INCLUDE ENJOYABLE THINGS!

And in lieu of a chip pic, here is a chocolate pic - from the stuff we bought in  Australia.

Because Koko Black and Haigh's kick ass! (These are all from BIKSS' stash.)

A Bit of Sad News and Medical Tests for Me

Before I get into it, I'm going to put up the food pictures before I forget. There've been a few dinners and lunches and thankfully not all of it was fried chicken, even tho that was the original plan for Feb. 

By the third week I was begging for ANYTHING ELSE except fried chicken cos I was just so sick of it LOL. 

On the first day out together after his trip we ended up having a really long talk cos I was feeling lonely and abandoned. We needed a plan. Eventually we worked something out. After a 3 cigarette conversation we managed a nice fajita dinner at a nearby Mexican/Italian place near the marina. It's a strange combination right? We decided against having that AND a pizza together cos it would just be too weird.

Since I was so tired of Western cuisine we decided on a Chinese restaurant the next time we went out.  Anti clockwise from top left - Vermicelli salad (complimentary), stir fried Chinese spinach, xiao long bao, and dumplings in soup; Right - Dumplings aka Chaoshou) in a chilli /mala vinaigrette.

Lemongrass chicken skewers, grilled salmon, C/salad

Remember how BIKSS had a birthday in Feb? He had birthday vouchers for a bar and grill place so we lunched there the day I went for my mammogram. Yes. Mammogram. The summary - Boss wants to start me on HRT so he needs to make sure there are no issues before starting meds. That means having an ultrasound, pap smear (last one was clear so don't need another), mammogram and bloodwork (also recently sorted so don't need another) done. 

All I need to do now is wait for the mammogram results to come in and we're good to go cos everything else is fine. 

That night we ended up eating at another branch of the same Chinese restaurant of dumpling fame above. Because he had MORE birthday vouchers LOL. 

Sweet & sour fish - if there's one thing you can count on the Chinese restaurants doing right in where-I-live, it's sweet and sour anything. 

Specialty of the month - some fish mala soup thing with salted/preserved veggies. When the bowl came to the table we both panicked a little. That is a HUGE bowl. The pic doesn't do it justice. It was huge. 

Broccoli and szechuan style prawns. They're sitting on regular sized dinner plates mind you, so you can imagine the size of the bowl in the background. 

Red bean pancake - my favourite Chinese restaurant dessert.

And now that February was over, there was no more birthday feasting to be had. On Friday night we settled on a vegetarian restaurant. From left - Lions mane mushroom rendang (a spicy coconut gravy), stir fried napa cabbage, curry vegetables, and sweet & sour tofu nuggets (bottom). Clear soup, and brown and sesame rice. We doggie bagged the rice and some of the food. 

Fondles went from 57kg to 59kg over the Chinese New Year period and needed to lose some weight. So this week was spent watching my calorie intake. I'm happy to announce I'm in the correct zone again.

And the thing about losing the weight? Trust me, it's not just vanity. As I got heavier my hip got achier. That IS a word. Ok more achy/achey if you prefer.

My trusty physio fella has declared it an osteo-arthritic hip. Hurray me. Aren't I too young? Nope, he says. It's a genetic thing sometimes. And since BOTH my parents were OA candidates, he's not surprised that it's beginning now. 

When I lost the weight the ache stopped too. One of my clinic doctors wasn't surprised. In some people, as little as a 1-2kg weight gain can be the difference between fine and OUCH, she says. She was the one who joined the dots for me when we were talking about it yesterday. 

Yesterday - when the two doctors from my work were here to visit mum. Who is deteriorating. 

She stopped eating on Tuesday night. We were told to prepare for the end. That's what we're doing. Apart from not swallowing, she also hasn't got much control of her mouth - lips and tongue. So whatever we put in comes out almost straightaway. Surprisingly, yesterday I noticed she was smacking her lips together, so we tried giving her a little bit of baby food. She managed to swallow about half of the 10ml we gave her - in small doses of 1.5-2ml each time. 

We even managed some very mushy blended watery oatmeal last night, enough for us to use as a vehicle for her insomnia meds. The poor thing hasn't been sleeping since Wed night, so at last she managed a good sleep yesterday. 

This morning she was alert - looking around, even smiling. Her tongue is lolling out a litte again today and she's not taking in as much as yesterday, but at least she's managing a few drops each time. 

I'm not sure that's anything to be happy about, I mean, she's almost at the end, they say. And 10ml of liquid a day is hardly enough to sustain life. But at least her mouth isn't dry and she gets to taste some chocolate, coffee, and whatever else we put on her tongue. The websites all say it's a good way to comfort her as she approaches the end, even if she's not swallowing it. Allowing her to taste the flavours, if she wants, will comfort her. 

So that's what the situation is for now.  Thank you in advance for your prayers. Our wish is that she will pass peacefully and without struggle. 

Reunion Dinner

Today is the eve of CNY and Chinese folks all over the world typically have what we call Reunion Dinner with family. 

My brother basically declared a fortnight ago that he's not celebrating CNY this year (I didn't know it was optional) and my sister decided it's too much trouble to drag her clan (7 people including her mother in law and her caregiver) all the way to my house. And it's gotta be my place cos my mama aint moveable. 

So in a last minute effort at making something out of tonight (it's supposed to be a special occasion innit?) I dug into the fridge and me and the caregivers managed to whip up a splendid feast! For very little money.

Abalone (FOC from last year's office gifting) and broccoli (a dollar!)

Chicken in a kebab seasoning - (chicken thigh - $2.50, seasoning mix, lime, tomato - free from my caregiver's morning jaunts to our equivalent of a soup-kitchen - it's a charity organisation that distributes bento meals and other stuff like bread, veggies, pre-mixes, PET bottle drinks, and we even got a box of Reese's pieces once). 

Vegetarian Ngoh Hiang (frozen) - FOC - from soup-kitchen place. Chilli sauce for dipping - courtesy of Betty's mum who makes a very awesome chilli dip.

Anti clockwise from bottom  : Stir fried veggies with mock chicken (both free from food rescue) / Braised egg tofu (free from food rescue) / Prawns (courtesy of the sister) and potato (soup kitchen) in a chilli (soup kitchen) gravy. Garnishings - from my own fridge.

We even got a bottle of non alcoholic sparkly bubbly - FOC from soup kitchen

Now how's that for an under $5 reunion dinner? 

The best part is that it was full of laughter and merriment and we all took turns to feed mum whom we'd wheeled over to the dining table so she could eat with us. And despite the spills and mum's less-than-perfect eating / swallowing skills, no one got flustered or upset, we just took turns to wipe up, pass clean tissues around, swap one towel for another, pass soiled tissues to whoever was closest to the bin... it was great. My heart is overjoyed for this 'family' that has developed in my home. And for the lovely joyous dinner we shared tonight. 

WITHOUT my siblings. Who always stress me out when they descend upon me. 

I dare say this was my HAPPIEST reunion dinner ever!

Happy 'Long' Year everyone (say it like LOAN but with an NG at the end). 

Shoes Shoes and More Shoes + Christmas Feasting + News from the Home Front

The feasting continues. Part 3 I think this was. We had Japanese again... cos I needed to run an errand in that area and so the nearby mall is where we ended up. Nothing else looked exciting so we popped into a restaurant we'd never been to before. 

Sashimi - always a winner in our books

Hot pot - because it's healthy and delicious (the beef was super duper tender!)

Scallops + cheese - way too salty for our liking

Fried Chicken + Salad

And on Friday we had Christmas feasting part 4! 

BIKSS made a reservation at a Ukrainian place. It wasn't too bad... but I'm not sure it's anything to crow about.

Dumpling assortment - with a colour guide - 

Also, this particular dumpling looks a little suggestive don't you think? 

Shashlýk - 2 chicken skewers with what tasted like Cajun (powder seasoning) fries and roasted veggies. He was noticeably unimpressed with the fries. They were a little bit limp, but I'm ok with soggy fries as long as they have a good flavour to them.

Traffic light salad - crab stick, corn and cucumber + mayo. Quite interesting.

And in Shoe news -

These arrived. They fit and they're pretty and I hope the breaking in period isn't too long. I think I shall wear them around the house to get used to them before taking them out on the road proper. 

I also bought me a pair of actual pumps / court shoes, since I don't have a one to my name at the moment. 

These are from Vivaia and I tried them on at the store last night. At $195 a pair I wanted to make sure they fit and are as comfy as they claim to be. They were. I told the guy I would think about it then promptly went online to see what deals I could find.

I like them BOTH but decided on the pair on the right only because it would be a lot easier to wear a beige shoe with my existing wardrobe. I have a surprisingly large number of printed skirts, pants and dresses! The design on the front of the black pair (+ the mini bow) would be just too fussy with a patterned bottom.

I did eventually get them with a discount code too... (this is ME we're talking about after all, the guru of online shopping discounts) and ended up taking 14% off the retail price. 

(If you're in the US you can get them at 20% off if you're a first responder, teacher or medical professional (alongside some other vocations which I can't remember now) via the Sheer ID website. It's a 3rd party verification website that partners with over 200 merchants offering discounts to people working in specific sectors.) 

And if you're wondering why they're so pricey, it's cos they're supposed to last forever. And also cos they use some fancy tech, are sustainable and responsibly sourced, and are eco-friendly etc etc. 

From their website - 

Since 2020, VIVAIA has been dedicated to creating superior products for both you and the planet. Our mission is to make a positive impact on the world and the people around us. We have successfully developed a line of high-end footwear and apparel that is both luxurious and fashion-forward, while also being of exceptional quality and reasonably priced.

The name VIVAIA is a combination of our brand's purpose and our customers. The double "V" and "A" that come from opposite directions represent the shoes worn by our customers with diverse designs. The double "I" symbolizes the plastic bottles we use to produce our shoes, which is a key element connecting our customers with us.

At VIVAIA, we focus on producing comfortable shoes that combine cutting-edge technology with sustainable practices for the ultimate in eco-friendly footwear and apparel.

I've also been de-cluttering because I had a new AC installed the past Wednesday. My very old box-in-the-wall unit has given up the ghost. Each time I turned it on I had to pad the area under the coil with towels because OH MY GAWD THE DRIP!  It was one of these:

I now have a compressor outside my window wall and a blower unit above my dresser. The amount of cleaning up we did was ridiculous. And since everything had a fine layer of cement dust on it, I ended up spring cleaning the whole room. Hence the de-cluttering. 

With the washing machine needing replacing and the new ac being installed, plus agency and insurance fees from the caregiver fiasco, I must have spent about 10k between August and now. What's a pair of shoes right? Besides, with the shitty year I've had, I've decided I deserve a Christmas treat.

Anyway, I'm on my way to financial recovery. I've not touched any of the investments I put in this year. Most of that 10k came from savings and a couple of time deposits and bonds that matured and got spat back into my bank account anyway. 

I just didn't reinvest those. But I will, once the new year begins and I pick up some bonuses from my insurance policy. I've also recently learnt about a new guaranteed returns investment vehicle on a local brokerage app. It's offering 3.8% returns, no minimum placement. I managed to chuck some funds in there a few weeks  ago.

I wish I had learnt about this stuff when I was younger. But I'm glad I have friends who are interested in sharing about these things now... they, too, regret not having started sooner. Better late than never I suppose. We just didn't have anyone around us who did any investing and so it wasn't part of our landscape I think. 

I'm now trying to get my Godchildren on the investment bandwagon. People say 'you don't know what you don't know'. But now I've seen to it that they know, so it's up to them to go find out more and do what they can when they can. Ignorance was my reason. They can't use the same excuse. At least I'll die satisfied, knowing I did this ONE thing for them if nothing else. 

And that's the day's round up. From BIKSS and me, we hope you all have a very 

Today's chips (bought at half price -)