Collar - KOTW

In the beginning we had a collar. Not one I wore all the time. Just during playtime. It was blue.

This is a portion of the post that accompanied this picture:

Yes it is from a pet shop. I like having something around my neck that doesn't feel like a noose - ie, cannot be tightened. A regular buckled one would require something for him to hold on to, like a leash - which I'm not comfortable with at the moment. And I think BIKSS isn't the biggest fan either - even it were only a short one.

This one slips easily over my head and the half choke means he has something to grab on to while we're, you know... doing the deed. Heh. And doesn't require a lot of time to get in place.

When I cleared out the toy cupboard after the little mess that we encountered early on, I chucked it out. 

We've never replaced it. We never had to. 

He has given me a necklace too - 

When he put it around my neck he said :

"Something vanilla that you can wear out that reminds you of me."

Which I suppose works a little bit like a collar. A reminder.


[Edit: in 2016 September BIKSS had to spend some time in Germany for work. Aside from a unicorn stuffie and a couple of kinky toys he got me (which I knew about prior to his return), he also got me this choker which I adore.

It's not meant to be a collar signifying anything, but as I mentioned in a comment to this post, anytime I wear something around my neck that was a gift from BIKSS, it reminds me of our dynamic.]

These days he just uses his hand. Or his words. But I DO like his hand. 

I was facing down. Roger was facing up. Into my mouth. Nuff said.

Daddy's Home and Going Away Again

Hello everyone, I feel like I've risen from the dead, having been away forever. 

And I'm sorry that these "sorry I've been missing" posts are coming up more and more frequently.

The parents moved in early last month and since then we've been sorting out some logistics. Wheelchairs, motorised scooter things, who goes on which day to eldercare / physio and so on and so forth. 

The most trying of the teething period seems to be over and we've settled into some sort of regular routine. The mother is also more familiar with the kitchen appliances etc so she is able to sort out the microwave and stove on her own. 

The father has gotten used to his new surroundings, poor fella. Dementia is NOT pretty. 

BIKSS got a new job and he's flying all over the place and that's driving me insane. Already I have less time than before to spend with him, PLUS lack of space (think blowjobs in the car and quickies when I manage to get an open 1-hour window when no one's home) - and on top of all the work trips he's taking TWO family vacations in Dec and Jan and I want to scream. 

OK, I'm feeling better about the whole thing now. But I was certifiable on Friday. 

It's hard for me to handle my significant other being away. It's not just the missing them. I get depressed. And the missing them and depression takes over my life so in order not to fall apart I block out my emotions and go about my own shit until they're back. 

This means WHILE they're away I become a bit of a cold, heartless jerk when they DO text or call. Cos I'm all about the "yeah, no, ok, whatever" responses. 

And then after they come back it takes me a bit of time to thaw and let myself be in love again. With BIKSS' travel schedule looking the way it does, I was going out of my mind trying to figure out how we were going to cope - either I learn to deal with the emotions (not my favourite option) or he learns to deal with my coldness (which may or may not happen, depending on how badly I feel and how much I need to shut down in order to still be able to function). 

Oh, that's not enough of an upheaval? OK, his wife went and got herself a new job too. So there are changes to be made on HIS homefront as well. What all this means is that whatever regularity we had before in whatever form is now gone. Missing. Nowhere to be found. 

It's not anyone's fault, just the timing of it all. Everything changed at once and I HATE CHANGE. I like routines, familiarity, and being in control. I HATE UPHEAVALS and that's what this period is feeling like for me. 

*Rant Over*

Today we managed to spend a whole bunch of hours out together tho. We had an early dinner at a smokehouse burger place, then went for a drive. And then we went shopping to get new shorts now that I'm a whole lot smaller since starting my get-those-damned-triglycerides-down diet. Since last Jan (2015) I've lost a total of 11 kilos YAY ME, and my clothes are way too loose. I can get into my used-to-be-tight clothes comfortably now, but I don't have shorts that fit. We didn't manage to find any, but I did pick up a pair of covered-toe, light-weight, trudge-around shoes that were affordable and available in my size! 

BIKSS picked out the colour and I'm happy with it. It's a little more teal than in the pic - my favourite colour! 

And tomorrow I shall continue on my quest for denim shorts. 

Meanwhile I have a bunch of yummy chocs from Germany where he spent 3 weeks in September. And some toys (below) and a new stuffie -- meet Goober, my German unicorn stuffie. Because one can never have too many. I'm serious.  

Now I knew about the new (quieter) vibe and plug (it's heavier, prettier, and ridged!) before he came back, but the choker was a surprise. And I love them all!

We WERE planning to go on a short holiday in Jan around my birthday but then I decided it would probably be better if I didn't go on a 4 day full-time BIKSS high and 24/7 DDlg binge only to have to come crashing down when he goes off to a 2 week vacation after that. 

Plus I've had a look at the calendar and it looks like Jan might be a bad month for me in terms of work cos of the Lunar New Year holidays (that will take up 4 days instead of the usual 2 and a half - long weekends are the worst things for me work-schedule-wise cos it means I'll have to make up those lessons!) so carving out another week for a holiday just doesn't seem possible. 

BIKSS has mentioned that we could possibly go for an overnight trip in Dec and maybe another in Jan on the days that I have no classes - I can afford an overnight excursion - and perhaps I won't be too stressed out when he's away if I've only had small doses of daddy-time. It's also easier to have them more frequently than the big holidays. Whatever the case, the sound of THIS plan didn't fill me with dread nor stress me out any. 

And so that's the news over on my end. I suspect I'll be gone for a bit before I pop back up. But I'll try to update when I can. 

Meanwhile, to my stateside friends, VOTE WISELY. :)

Because It's Monday

It was a heavenly evening, and too many things happened... the collar came back out after a long hiatus, BIKSS was more vocal than usual, instructing me to kneel and suck him off, to sit on his fingers as he inserted them upwards into my wet pussy - and I ended up humping his hand! He discovered that I didn't mind having the collar pulled a little tighter than usual, and I discovered he really enjoyed having Roger sucked on when my mouth is still cold from drinking water. He played with my clit so ferociously that I bucked till I was exhausted. He spanked me with the paddle while he fucked me (erotic, not painful), and then again later with his hand (totally way more painful - I can still feel it!).

Yup, too many things happened for me to go into detail, but here's a little Monday ditty for your reading pleasure.

M is for Making me suck on his dick

O is for "Ouch", on my ass, with a stick

N is for Nuzzling his crotch while he rests

D is for Daddy massaging my breasts

A is A cold mouth that got him off right

and Y is Yours truly, now saying Goodnight!

It's Been 11 Days...

... since my last spanking. And today BIKSS came over with my new made-while-he-was-away spanky thing (there's a pic HERE) and tried it out on my bottom. It's slappy. Pesky almost. I say that because it doesn't leave like a "real" sting, and it's too light to be thuddy at all. But after a few splats it actually kinda feels rather ouchy. Not a deep pain, but more of a surface sensation.

The rest of our reunion was just perfect. We kissed like we'd been apart for years instead of days, and I was so happy to see him I was practically bouncing all over the place. The words he used were, "you're like a prancing puppy". Pffft. I'm allowed!

So I ushered him into the room which I had set up with an early Christmas present on the bed, "cos I didn't know how much I'd see you over or nearer to Christmas," which was promptly met with, "Of course you'll see me at Christmas-time..." which then made me smile even more.

I was wearing a black burnout tee, which I had just bought on Sunday, and a matching pair of lace boyshorts as I climbed onto the bed and knelt at the edge. We continued kissing as I undid the buttons on his shirt and trailed kisses down his front till I reached Roger. I spent some time welcoming them both back... and then I told BIKSS I was being rude, he should take a load off and get into bed. Well, he got into bed alright - only he tossed me on my back and knelt over me and proceeded to fuck my mouth. 

"First we'll cum in this hole, then later on we'll come back for the other." 

I was so hot for him, for his sex, for his dominance... 

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I always say he should let me serve him more. BIKSS is often inclined to do stuff himself. But I think he's getting the hang of it. After we flopped down on the bed together and were hugging and kissing for a bit, he said, "Bring me my bag," and I was a bit confused. Bag? What bag? I didn't even know it, but he had brought his backpack into the room! 

LOL That's how excited I was at seeing him again - I didn't even notice he had his bag on him.  

This struck me as being rather out of character for him cos the bag was nearer his side of the bed, and it's heavy (cos he has the laptop and other junk important stuff in there) - asking me to go out of my way to bring something to him is NOT his M/O. So either he put some thought into it, or he's naturally getting used to asking me to do stuff for him - which is a huge fist pump moment for me! 

I climbed over him and traipsed over to the bag to lug it back over to him. He hoisted it onto the bed and proceeded to unload my presents. It was like Christmas came early for me too! He showed me the spanky thing with the music charms, the would-be clamps (which we tried straight away but they didn't really work the way he intended) and finally, some jewellery!

I sent my man on a mission to come back with not only kinky gifts, but something pretty as well. Because, as Fiona puts it, 'You may be his sub, but you're his girlfriend first!' 

His answer to my quest was a shiny bracelet with a design that reminds me of nipples (trust him!) and a choker / collar in silver. "Something vanilla that you can wear out that reminds you of me."

"It was actually harder finding vanilla gifts than kinky ones," he lamented! 

"I know," I replied, "that's why I asked you to get some." *Wink*

And He definitely GOT SOME after that!

LOL Day Handprints (Chrossed)

[Edit - I'm being shameless. I heard that this post got Chrossed from Renee Rose (who also got Chrossed this week) - and I'm ecstatic! Thanks guys, for the love!]

On Lol Day I encouraged bribed my lurkers to come out and say hello with promises of handprints on my bottom. 

I haven't had a chance to see BIKSS since last week so we have been a little delayed in getting the pictures to you, but HERE THEY ARE! He promised to leave a print for 5 lurkers, and 2 prints for 10 or more... I only have two butt cheeks after all. 

After we spent some time selecting just the right pair of knickers, which we all know is SO important, he had me put them on and get into position with pillows under my tummy to prop me up some. After announcing for the umpteenth time that in order to leave a handprint it was gonna hurt something fierce, he began to rub my bum a bit, more a caress than a rub, actually. 

And before I knew it, I felt one land on my right cheek! It HURT!! Instead of stopping to take a picture of one cheek first, he decided we should just imprint the other one too then take them BOTH marked. The second landed with a little less sting for me, but going by the hissing that he emitted I think it must have hurt his hand quite a fair bit. 

At some point later he actually said the words "that hurt me more than it hurt you - and I mean PHYSICALLY!" 

So here they are, my bum cheeks in all their hand-printed glory. Enjoy ;-)

twin prints

left cheek...

and right cheek 

We wish to inform you that no bums were hurt in the production of these photographs. 'Tis true. While they stung at the time of impact, the pain disappeared soon after. And the marks too. About 10 minutes later there was no evidence of any hand ever making contact with my butt. 

We had a good romp after our photo session. I gave him the best blowjob ever - and I mean that from my perspective. BIKSS assures me it was good for him too *wink*. I think it had something to do with the collar being put in play. Apparently he saw a comment I made somewhere else in Blogland that I should remind him we haven't used ours in a while now, and decided to remedy that tonight. If you suspect it was used to direct me to where he wanted attention, you'd be right. I was completely turned on, and floating at the edge of subspace. It isn't difficult when you've got a finger plunging into your cunt and your face is being led all around his crotch by his finger on the end of a chain, AND when said collar is held just tightly enough that your air supply is limited - not cut off, just a feeling of tightness. I guess it's the respiratory equivalent of being held tightly or bound or wrapped up. 

Also, on the Master front, he used the word a couple of times when he had me in that zone - "You like having Master's fingers inside you don't you?" sort of thing. It made me whine and whimper and melt. And at this point he was keeping me from putting Roger in my mouth, having me pay attention to his balls and licking up and down his shaft. And I had "accidentally" ended up sucking on his cock a couple of times until he tugged my chain and reminded me that I wasn't allowed to do that. Of course I was almost panting by this time, so when he asked me if I wanted his cock in my mouth and I said yes, he had me say it. And it tumbled out. "Can I please put Master's cock in my mouth?" I gushed. And I got my reward!

Oh that's not all, after a cuddle and some chit chat he paid his debt for the loss his team suffered last weekend. I called it 2 to 1 in favour of the opposing team. The deal was 60 with an implement of my choice. We settled on the belt and I turned over for my reward. Of course that got me worked up all over again, and Roger too, I might add, and as his man-snake loitered at the entrance of my lady-cave, I said it again - "Does Master want to fuck me?" And in 2 seconds he was inside.

I must say, you were all right. It does get easier, especially when the setting is right. 

I have also come to the conclusion that I'd like more nipple-spankings. Pinching and pulling and twiddling and kneading between thumb and index finger are all great things to do to a tit. But I've been reading (no, really???)  about having one's breasts flogged / struck / ruler-ed. And since we now have a ruler, I asked BIKSS if he would oblige. The verdict? Slaps on the top of the boob, meh. Slaps on the bottom, better. Slaps that make direct REPEATED contact with the nipples? Oh My Effing Gee!! PAIN! But GOOD pain! And the kind that lasts longer than a bum spanking. 

Finally, here's a little dance-for-joy announcement I've been dying to make - BIKSS and I will be taking a little trip together at the end of the month. Well, he's travelling for work, but it would be a pity to let a perfectly good hotel bed go to waste right? I mean, if he's going to be at meetings all day, someone  should take advantage of it while he's gone! We booked the flights today!

We leave together, but he'll be there for a week, and I'll come back a couple days before him. Still, it'll be the first time we'd get to spend the whole night together - asleep - and wake up in the same bed! He's decided that we are taking our collar with us on holiday. *Claps in glee* He also thinks I should wear it when we go out... so he can pull me back to his side if I wander too far away. Yeah like he'd actually let me walk around with that around my neck. *Hrmph* I told him that wasn't necessary-cos he has my ponytail for that. He seemed satisfied with my alternative. 

And the best thing? He's almost as excited as I am! I can't help but wonder if all my previous trips with the ex-boyfriends were seen as more of a chore than something they really enjoyed. I mean, NONE of them seemed excited about holidaying - it felt more like they were going cos they thought it would make me happy. As opposed to they themselves wanting to go. 

Ah well, it's nice to finally be with someone who shares the same joys as I do. I've seriously been selling myself short! Hrmph (@ the exes with the exception of gf 2) and Muaks (to BIKSS!) 

A Simple Question (Part 2)

*Long Post Advisory*

Click HERE to read the first part

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I want him to fuck me. But I don't say so. Instead I ask him a simple question... 

Do you want to cum in my mouth? Or do you want to fuck me?

I look at him expectantly, knowing full well that I'll be happy with either choice. Instead he smiles, a glint in his eye, and bemoans the difficulty in always having to choose between the two. 

Get on your knees. Close your eyes.

I comply. I'm a little lazy at this point, I want to finish up and then just cuddle together, maybe fall asleep for a little while before he has to go. But if the man wants me to kneel, I kneel. 

It's Been a Long Night

I may be physically sitting in one place but my mind is running amok, and my heart is off somewhere else too.  But I'm not gonna get into that.

BIKSS came over for dinner, and brought some wine - he's lovely that way. I like that he knows what kind I like so he'll usually go for something similar whenever he's thinking of getting something different from our usual. 

We had some penne with carbonara (and a ton of veggies and ham and sausages thrown in) and although I had visions of us watching a movie together (A Dangerous Method is still untouched) we ended up talking in bed instead. This time it wasn't my fault - he had already set up his laptop and was comfortably installed on my bed by the time I got done with work earlier, so after dinner together he just continued doing whatever he was doing on his computer. 

I'm a little frazzled by the most recent events of the night though, (stuff that happened in the last half hour) so I'm not really in any condition to contribute any smut right now. But I will show you pictures of some new "toys". They're not really toys, but let's say we've re-assigned them and put them to relevant use in this house.