Let Me Tell You a Story

In the beginning there was a girl. With what success she gained from all that she worked for, she furnished her life the way she desired. The apartment was hers. She bought it. To own her space was to own her freedom. She was a fighter. In a society where The Couple was shown great favour, she succeeded to her aspirations as a single girl. 

But while she wore the outer trappings of a strong, secure, authoritative woman, she knew there was something missing, something she craved.

To find that something she would lure, and she would tempt. And she would use the men who didn't mean anything to her. A high school mate once said of her - she used them, abused them then dropped them like a hot potato. It wasn't too far off the mark. 

But what of those whom she DID love?

Those she would allow to blind her. They let her believe she had them in her grip. But the truth of it is that little by little, one after another, they chipped away at her core.  And over time she learned to build up walls and put up defences. Yet how could it be that the higher those walls went up, the more she justified the actions of the very ones who were hurting her. 

She clung on, each and every time. Despite what she knew deep inside, she clung on. 

Until the day came when there was nothing and no one to hold on to. 

Almost broken, save the one strand of hope in the bleakness, she knew what she must do. Find herself. Be herself. Love herself. The self that she knew to be hidden inside - the self that she knew she must learn to accept. The self she had to stand up for.

She traced backwards the lead around her to the one holding it. It was there all along. He was there tugging and pulling, mostly he was letting out enough slack. But he never let go. And she never knew it. So subtle was he. So loving was he. 

He enveloped her then. Took her and gave her a safe place to rest. To recover. To rediscover.

He provided. And she let him. Still distant, still separate. But  he was her frame and her casement. She needed him there, but she didn't need to know it. And he allowed her her time.

When her dying was over - it was she who told him so. He picked her up and lifted her from her old life and placed her into a new one. One where she could strip away the walls of her insecurity and find comfort in her flaws.

She knew she could trust him to never abandon her interests. She knew he was worthy. And she knew she had found that something missing, that something she craved. But most importantly she knew that before too long she would give herself over to him.

I am yours, hun. Thank you for never letting go.

[all photos courtesy of the world wide web]