Growing Together

If you haven't read the last post, go read it first... or else THIS post isn't going to make ANY sense whatsoever.

So a few things happened this week that I want to tell you guys about :

1) I'm getting way better at holding myself together and not freaking out about something that I can't solve straight away. (Applause is most welcome at this point.)

After I was certain BIKSS had seen the post, I brought it up and he said he was surprised that I was affected by it, but that we would talk about it when we met. Also, I think he was more concerned that I had such an intense reaction rather than the presumed hiding of facts. 

So I told him that we could talk about that, provided we discussed the ACTION that brought about said REACTION too. He agreed and we left it at that. 

2) We managed to compartmentalize that issue quite well over the days that followed, even managing some long-distance assignments along the way: 

I was to meet some high school friends for supper after work on Thursday so he decided that he would give me something to think about during my final class -- 

"Between the time you get this message and you meet the girls for supper, you have 1 simple task: tell me what you would like me to do to your nipples in 100 words - no more - and then take a picture showing me one of those things." 

Oh it's been a while since he set me an assignment. It felt good. It felt as if he was right there beside me, whispering into my ear, hand around my throat, breathing down my neck. The thought of it, even now, makes me tingle.

I did my assignment and sent it off, along with a picture I had taken in the toilet, and was rewarded with a Very well done, now go enjoy your supper.

3) After some tender love-making last night and while we were cuddling, BIKSS brought it up. I was quite happy to let it sit till he was ready to talk about it, but I think he's beginning to appreciate the beauty of clearing the air asap. (I can't remember the last time HE brought up something that needed discussing... I've always been the one to want to talk about this or that or whatever...)

So to cut a long story short - he admitted he might have been embarrassed  to say how he became familiar with the Wand, and so maybe his subconscious just avoided it. Not because there was any intentional decision not to talk about it, but more like a default setting where the whole thing was left unmentioned. 

Perhaps he was afraid that I would judge him, think him weird or plain freak out about it if I knew. And because I am the way I am, and won't let go till I'm done, the conversation eventually became more of an exploration of his wanting to safeguard this image he thought I had of him, rather than my reaction to the incident.

The upside of this, and I told him so, is that it gave me a chance to prove that I don't judge. He asked me if I thought any differently of him, if it affected how I saw him, or felt about him, and the truth is, it didn't. Not one bit. 

SUMMARY:

I'm getting better at keeping my cool

He's getting better at initiating talks

I'm understanding the history behind my BIKSS a little more

He's seeing more and more of my true nature

We're both growing - as individuals, and also as respective halves of this relationship

The security of my submission to him allows him to explore his weaknesses and become stronger as he overcomes them as much as the certainty of his Dominance over me teaches me to cast away my insecurities and become more confident in my self-worth. 

So - ALL is good in BIKSS-and-Fondles-land. Or should I say, all has been discussed - cos where this issue was concerned, we weren't NOT good, just in need of a good talking.