Yes that's right.
He has issues.
He doesn't engage. He disassociates. So it's my job to push for talks and be ready and open to whatever he has to say cos really, it's probably not something he's all too comfortable with in the first place - hence the reticence. And I am blessed with many years of practice in the art of non-judgement. The closer you are to my heart, the less judge-y I am. Everything he has to say is valid.
Also, he is evasive. When he thinks an answer might disappoint me or upset me, he rambles on or moves the conversation away to something else. In the past when I flared up I was told that I don't give it a chance... that I jump on stuff right away and if I had waited a little, he would have gotten the chance to say whatever it is that I expected him to say.
So last night I waited 45 mins before reminding him that I was still waiting for an answer. To TWO questions. That were rather time-sensitive. It involved coming and getting me from my sister's house. And if the answer was going to be no, then I would see to getting home myself.
I recently taught my Dom that all questions are legit. And I seldom ask rhetorical ones. I didn't attack him, I was respectful and polite and maybe tried to be a little light-hearted even. Which worked out well, cos he admitted that evasion is an art that he is well-practised in. In retrospect I must say that was really quite a feat for me seeing as how I'm up to my eyebrows in festive preparations and baking AND I'm PMS-ing.
*Takes a bow.*
You see, them Dom types aren't perfect. But we can help them to be perfect for us. Just as we try constantly to be perfect for them.
(Someone remind me I wrote this post the next time I'm all bitchy and unreasonable ok? I'm in such a zen state right now - I wonder what else is in that decaf tea I'm drinking...)
Enjoy your zen-state! (milk it for each second, I say). I like that you have practice the art of non-judgement and it is very true as they teach us, we also have to teach them. Great post, Fondles!
ReplyDeleteI think we both see this is a continuous learning process and I'm glad to say we're both using what we learn in everyday situations.
DeleteVery true. I learn every time I play with a friend or just talk to them. I welcome feedback and comments. I never stop learning from my friends.
ReplyDeleteWell said fondles.
Hug,
joey
I agree.The learning never stops. We talk about everything. Any event or situation can be a learning experience and frequently is.
DeleteSo true; Doms are learning as well and at times we need to back them up.
ReplyDeleteYou two are very lucky to have each other, you seem to compliment each other perfectly or as perfect as perfect can get. lol
Well said. Doms need to remember to listen as well and having a supportive sub, who communicates her thoughts, fears and desires, builds our confidence in our own abilities which in turn makes for a better D/s relationship.Just saying....
DeleteI'm sure I could work harder with helping my Dom to communicate too. Thanks for a good reminder.
ReplyDeleteYou'd be surprised how much we talk once we get going.
DeleteWait a minute.......Dom types aren't perfect!?! When did this happen!?!
ReplyDeleteSomewhere between lunch and supper last Friday ;-/ A full stomach drives Doms mad.
DeleteWhatever your drinking i want some!
ReplyDeleteI have to confess i am similar it appears to BIKSS in that im evasive, i try to avoid conversations with the Bossman that are going to mean 'opening up' or perhaps more apt is exposing myself...and he wont let me get away with it.
Im better than what i was but it took time and im sure a great deal of patience on his part, which i suspect you may need lol.
x
it's ok... I figure we don't have a deadline... I have the rest of my life :)
DeleteLovely. Very wise, Miss Submissive. :)
ReplyDeletehugs
lillie
Thanks :)
Delete*beams with pride*