Remember the spanking knickers?
I wore them for BIKSS all excited last night, after our walk, and he decided we would try them out.
Somewhere along the line he decided the exposed flesh being "framed" by the knickers would make a nice picture so he decided to do a repeat performance of the LOL day handprints. Here it is... If you look closely enough, you'll see some faint finger prints on the left cheek too!
After we were done with spanking, amidst the usual Fondles-can't-shut-up chatter, we got back onto a touchy subject from before (which I sooo won't bore you with cos it's been done to death!) and in the end after navigating some roundabouts we finally managed to come to a compromise. But the more important thing that emerged from that conversation is I finally realised I have trust issues!
So I can trust him (and my partners/boyfriends in general) in a lot of ways and about many things. But with some other things - particularly when there is a change of mind or heart - I find myself questioning if he's only "agreeing" with me because I nagged / manipulated / goaded / guilted / convinced him into doing so. That is, if he was unhappy about something before, and then after a time he came around into thinking it's not so bad after all, I can't help but wonder if that's just him giving up and resigning himself to the helplessness of fighting with me. Cos I always feel like there's BOUND to be some resentment there if it was.
Anyway he said something important to me - after convincing me that he was ok/ comfortable with his decision, and I was still sobbing cos I felt like something wasn't right - he said I had to just trust him. To trust that we were good and there's no resentment cos it's the truth and how do I know that's the REAL truth? I just have to TRUST HIM.
Oh. It's that simple.
Yep, it's that simple...and yet, it's just that complicated.
ReplyDeleteI hope you can learn to trust BIKSS in this, and in all things. :)
Sigh... me too.
DeleteNice handprints! I'm sure you wore them with pride!
ReplyDeleteThanks... and yes I did.
DeleteWow - those are some hands...I thought I heard a couple of H U G E slapping noises a little while ago =)
ReplyDeleteSo....do you have a plan for learning to trust? Or getting to the bottom of why you don't?
hugs,
fiona
This was kinda new talk for us, so I'm sure we'll explore a bit more and a bit further.
DeleteBut I'll be sure to keep you updated.
And er, his hands are kinda big, and heavy. ;P
The um, handprints are lovely, and so are the knickers, and the ass is not half bad... lol.
ReplyDeleteTrust is really tricky, isn't it? You would think it would be easy to trust him on something like this, but i think these are the things that may be hardest. On the other hand, from here he sounds really trustworthy. :-)
Oh, I have no doubt he is trustworthy in what he says when he tells me how he feels. The problem is not at the point of origin. In this case, it's the receptor - aka me.
Deleteand uh, yeah. I'm trying.
Believe it or not, I was married to DH before I was ever able to just let go and trust him in the ride. It was never because of anything he'd done, just my own issues. We're over that hill. Though it takes a lot of work, I promise it's all worth it when you get there.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure it is... I just have to get there first.
DeleteNice prints Fondles! Bet ya kept going back to the mirror for a look? LoL
ReplyDeleteTrust is so difficult isn't it? Easy in theory, but so complicated in reality.
Hugs
Roz
Nah, I didn't get to go back to the mirror and look cos after that we got into a convo and after that we got to fucking and well... by the time we were done there were no prints left.
DeleteLove the handprints! I just got back from Master's...we had close the same convo. I do trust Him , more than anyone else...but....sometimes I wonder...He is so patient when I start to waver...hope we both are back to that place of peace.
ReplyDeletehugs abby
Thanks! I hope so too.
DeleteAnd it's the same here - I DO trust him... just somehow my brain is wired to NOT believe when he's saying it's alright now... that he believes me and he can accept something that was previously unacceptable.
I get SOOOO suspicious.
Very nice! They do create a nice frame!! :)
ReplyDeleteRight? When I mentioned it to BIKSS he said "Yeah, I already thought of that."
DeleteHrmph.
Terrific photo. I hope that you works things out.
ReplyDeleteHug,
joey
Thanks. and I know we will.. it's just a matter of time.
DeleteLove the knickers.
ReplyDeletethanks... me too!
DeleteNice pic! Cael has a couple handprinted photos of me...it's menacing but in a nice way :)
ReplyDeleteTrust can be so hard. It seems simple, like you said. But then when push comes to shove, it's really much more complex. Every day stuff gets in the way and all of a sudden things break before you can even realize what's going on. The nice part is that trust can be rebuilt, even if it takes time and energy. *hugs*
sigh. rebuilding is the tough part.
Deletei'm trying i'm trying.
Absolutely love the knickers!! (and the word knickers for that matter). So glad you realized your trust issues. Love you!!
ReplyDeleteLOL :)
DeleteNice handprints, but I keep wondering about the knickers. Cannot imagine that these things are anywhere near comfy. Oh well, that's just a stupid guy question I suppose.
ReplyDeleteTrust is something we keep building up, and every once in awhile it just disappears into nothingness, and we start building again and again.
As long as we are building together, there's nothing really wrong with that.
But it can be painful.
they're actually RATHER comfy! sure you don't wanna try them?
DeleteVery sure, thank you
DeleteI'm with Bas... looks very UNcomfy...
ReplyDeleteI love the handprints though... :D :D :D
:) they're COMFY!!
Deleteand yes, I like the prints too