Got to the Bottom of It

... and of course he got to my bottom too.

I'm sure I've used this pic before.

But first, he picked me up after work, I bought eclairs. He bought donuts. Clearly we think sweet pastries will help. At least we're on the same page there! After he parked we sat in the car and ate our eclairs. Then we came upstairs, and he sat on the couch and I knelt beside him and hugged his tummy. And it felt like my world was back on its axis again. I love being in that position, with his one arm around me and his other hand on my head. And we made some small talk - not awkward, mind you, just regular talk. We kissed, for a long time, and then I got up to make him a drink and hopped into the shower. 

After he had a shower too we convened in the bedroom. I lay down beside him and asked if we could talk about what happened. Yes, he said. And we did. We talked. After a bit of going around and exploring feelings when what was said and what was replied... and what was meant by what was said... we had a breakthrough, we realised what happened, and we made a plan going forward.

Here's the result of our debrief:

Yes, I somehow (blame the past, blame my childhood, whatever) get triggered into believing I'm being dismissed - unfairly so. 

Because he sometimes gets those "uh-oh" moments when I "accuse" him and then he freezes (although we did agree I was doing so very gently and lightheartedly)

Then that makes him reply in the most matter of fact manner he can because (we now agree) he's the King of Disassociation and can't say he did or didn't do something. Rather he prefers to say something happened or didn't happen. Tsk. 

Which makes me lose it and subconsciously (cos these things are never consciously done are they?) I go off on a tirade and start to push buttons because it's like he's just too proud to admit he made a mistake or forgot to do/check/sort out something.

And he admits that by this time he's adamant about NOT admitting any fault cos he's a guy and the Why-Should-I-Apologise gene has already kicked in by now.

So we will take the following steps:

1) If I'm having an emotional reaction to something I am to actually say I'm having a meltdown

2) If he is busy and therefore can't entertain me he will tell me rather than just giving me a one word answer that leaves me feeling left out in the cold

3) If I'm unhappy with how he's handling something cos of this disassociation thing (it's happened a few times, actually) I'll call him on it

4) If he thinks that I'm going off on a tirade and "pushing him into a corner" he'll call me on it.

And I'm happy to say it wasn't just a case of the man brain processing things differently and NOT GETTING IT. 

And after talking, as I was snuggling into him, he rubbed and smacked my bottom. I asked if it would be more convenient if I move to lie over him, and he said yes, so I did. And he continued to spank me. 

I MIGHT have used this pic before too. But it's so apt.

After a longish session, with not as many rubs as he used to give when we first started, he found a handle on my head in the form of my bunched up hair, and pulled me towards him for a very passionate kiss. The exact moment my lips met his, I felt everything melting away. The tension, the bad feelings, the hurt, the uncertainty, everything. Then he guided my face down towards his cock and had me service him with my mouth and tongue, while he pounded my pussy with his fingers, it wasn't teasing. It was an assault. My clit, my cunt, my sex. Everything belonged to him. 

I begged him to fuck me, I needed to feel him plunge into my dripping wet folds. He arranged me under him and entered me, making me feel the most open and available to him I've felt in a long time. I held on to him as he fucked me hard and unloaded himself into me. After that I wrapped my limbs around his torso and he lay on top of me, holding me, and letting me feel him.

We lazed a a bit, checked comments on the blog, looked at hotels on the web for our trip, talked about stuff, he nodded off, then came awake again and snaked his arm down towards my girlie bits. It was a funny angle and he didn't have much room, so as soon as I realised what, or should I say where he was headed, I hiked up one of my legs to give him access. I was rewarded with a Good girl whispered into the side of my face. I swear I could hear the lust in his voice. I wasn't wrong. He attacked my clit with a vengeance, not letting up. Again, no teasing. Just a full-on charge. He was in control. I shuddered, bucked, moaned - I was too caught up in the heat of it all to care but let me say, ordinarily I'd be embarrassed at the kinds of sounds I was making. 

When I couldn't take it anymore he put my hand on Roger and I was a little surprised (although I suppose I really shouldn't have been, considering he's ALWAYS horny) to find that he was ready again. 

Is Roger ready for pussy again?

His answer was loud and clear as he flung me on my back and thrust into me. He pulled a pillow over my mouth and gave me permission to make as much noise as I wanted, as he held it there and fucked me mercilessly, relentlessly, with such force as I've never seen / felt before. He was this sex-crazed creature, and I swear he was being ever more turned on by my muffled screams. He pounded into me as he came and when he lifted the pillow off all I could do was roll over to my side and pant. 

He curled up around me and we both agreed that that was very, very enjoyable!

Maybe we should think about a gag after all? Cos I really liked having my mouth covered like that. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I think I've just moved an item from my hard limit list to my may-be-convinced-to-explore list. First when he stuck his fingers in my mouth I thought it was strange but after the 2nd or 3rd time I came to enjoy it. And now this? That's one more thing to put on my kinky shopping list.