BIKSS and I are in our 50s. We met in 1988 but it took us 24 years before hooking up in 2012. We moved into a DD/lg dynamic a year later. In April 2015 some shit hit the fan. We took some time off but eventually found a new us.
I used to live alone except for a few shifting years when my folks moved in then out, then after dad passed on, mum moved in again. Now that she too has passed, it's just me, one carer whom I've decided to keep on, and my tenant.
He lives with his family. This is us.
Flying into HCMC. The flight wasn't full so the window seat in our row was vacant. I scooted over to take photos of our descent. Usually we're on the aisle and centre and there's someone in the window, so I don't get a chance to take photos as we land / take off.
We were picked up by our limo-van, and began a long 4 hour ride to Vung Tau. Thankfully there were vibrating massage seats in the van. It was raining, and we were travelling during peak hour. Still, it was pretty comfy and it didn't feel that long. We stopped once along the way for drinks and loo break.
After checking in, we left the staff to bring our luggage up to the room while we went around the corner for dinner - at 10pm! Stingray hot pot is a specialty of Vung Tau. It wasn't objectionable, but I don't think I'll go looking for it again. BIKSS is with me on this.
After we had dinner we headed to this bakery to pick up a local dessert - highly recommended by the powers that be... aka the internet people. It's called - bông lan trứng muối and this version comes in a sharing portion; we had the one with 4 different toppings and salted egg yolk crumbs sprinkled over the top. It was interesting. There's some pork floss between the cake and toppings. It comes in various flavours.
Honestly, it was unusual, but not something I was dying to have again.
On the way back to the hotel we spotted the lighthouse beams... and BIKSS explained to me how each lighthouse has it's own pattern. I never knew that.
And finally we got back to the hotel room - lovely and spacious. We got twin beds cos it was $60 cheaper than the king room. That's $180 extra right there. He pushed the beds together and we were quite satisfied. In fact, I prefer this arrangement cos we didn't have to fight over the blanket throughout the night. I might consider this option from now on. I daresay it afforded us (ok, me, at least) a better night's sleep.
A smoking balcony with sea view. We sat here quite a fair bit over the 3 days. It was peaceful and quiet (there was very little traffic despite being next to the main road) and we found ourselves chatting for long stretches, or else just being together while being busy with our phones. (Work stuff, games, posting photos on FB / IG...)
The night view from the balcony
The fridge has a glass panel in the front, and when you open it a cool blue light appears. I was thrilled.
The next morning we woke up at 4 to go see the sunrise. This is the sky at 5am (I was surprised by how bright it was!) as we waited in front of our hotel for our ride.
We were both very surprised that there were so many people, some already swimming, at this hour of the morning. We, on the other hand, were in dire need of some coffee.
The weather forecast said it was going to be rainy and there was a flash flood warning on both the days we were planning to do our outdoor sightseeing. But thankfully the rains were short, and the winds were strong and the clouds were quickly blown away. I do believe this was our very first sunrise together.
After that we headed off to look for breakfast, and had a chance to try their famous squid noodle soup. It was warm and rich and fragrant and perfect for an early morning fuel-up before our climb up Small Mountain to get to the Christ the King statue!
The "bandstand" in front of the Holy Bean cafe, and the first steps on our 1000+ step journey.
45 mins later we reached the top. I ended up being the buffet spread for a bunch of mosquitoes, and BIKSS and I were dripping sweat non stop by the time we were halfway up. But aside from his knee acting up, neither of us felt particularly winded or exhausted. The air was crisp and even tho' it had definitely begun to heat up, we were lucky to have gotten there first thing at 7am when they opened so that we didn't have to deal with the sun beating down on us full force. (Yup, that's me on the stairs.)
At the base of the statue they give you a key for a locker and you dump everything in there. Including your shoes. We climbed the inside of the statue in stockinged feet. Yup, that's how narrow the staircase is.
Those ventilation holes let in strong gusts of seabreeze and we took the time to stop at each one to cool off a bit before continuing.
That's the view of the last 300 steps or so from the top of the statue.
And my photo log of every 100 steps.
Ta-da! The highlight of my day. I stood on the shoulders of Christ. It was pretty emotional.
And with that I shall take my leave to grab some dinner. I'll be back with more tomorrow.
And then there will be other sights, like the lighthouse, museum etc, but also, since it's going to be a thanksgiving pilgrimage of sorts for me, I'm also going to squeeze in a visit to the church grounds of the Our Lady Shrine, though I won't be attempting the climb up this mountain. One is enough, methinks.
Of course there will be tons of seafood cos it's a coastal town... so I'll be eating and photo-logging it. Will share pics when we're back!
I applied for a position at a non-profit and after 3 rounds of interviewing I got the job.
I've tendered my resignation and have given them half a month's notice (instead of 'with immediate effect') so that I don't have to pay them a month's salary in lieu of notice, no matter how much it would have delighted me to just WALK OUT OF THERE. A girl's gotta think of her bank account balance after all.
My last day is on the 22nd of Sept, and then I'm planning a short getaway with BIKSS for a bit of proper R n R before starting my new position on the 1st of October.
The benefits are pretty standard for the most part, although they do give 4 extra days of statutory annual leave / personal days (compared to the 14 days that most companies offer) - so I get 18 days a year straight off the bat, which is quite substantial for new hires in my part of the world.
According to our 'official' Employment Act, the statutory minimum annual leave starts at 7 days for the first year of service and increases by 1 day each subsequent year, capping at 14 days by the 8th year. However most mid to higher level professionals start at 14 days and may or may not see their allotment increased year on year. Some companies practise a 1-extra-day-per-2-years-of-employment system.
So yes, 18 days for a new hire is equivalent to winning the paid leave lottery!
The other standard (commonly offered but not mandated by law) benefits they offer include not only an additional month's salary at the end of the year (ie. a 13th paycheck) but also bonuses and salary increments annually. There's also medical and hospitalization insurance coverage. So while I won't be making as much (proportionally) as I am now, I think all the perks more than make up for it.
To celebrate BIKSS took me out to a nice restaurant for dinner tonight. I wore this outfit, and he had a bunch of compliments for me. So, curious, I went ahead and checked what type of feminine archetype it belongs to.... thinking that perhaps he might have a natural gravitation towards that particular one. And maybe I could get some outfit inspo from whichever archetype it ended up matching. I've done a few tests and it turns out I'm The Sage. (Click on the link to read about my archetype!)
Anyway, I plugged that outfit into a google search, and lo and behold, the answer that it threw back at me was, you guessed it, Sage! So I guess without knowing it explicitly, my inner Sage has been making herself known all this while. Sometimes the outward projection of ourselves really does match who we are on the inside! Who woulda guessed. In a way I got a great deal of satisfaction when I realised that the me I amon the inside matches the me I dress as on the outside. Does that make any sense to you?
So Sages tend to favour clean, minimalist, monochromatic dressing, steering clear of pieces with logos or prints; we are often found in neutral (& earth) tones - greys, blues, blacks, browns (and beiges) and greens; and we definitely cannot handle anything too bright and flashy. We lean towards comfort and simplicity, often preferring a draped flowy outfit over a tight-fitting one.
Um, yeah. That pretty much sums up my wardrobe.
I'm also a secondary Queen archetype, altho' it feels like that was more my style when I was younger. Both in spirit and in fashion. Perhaps in my old age I've mellowed into my Sage.
(If you're interested in STYLE archetypes check the chart below. My wardrobe is largely Elegant Chic, which intersects with my inner Sage style.)
And now its midnight and I should sleep. I'll come back when I have more updates. (And a vacation plan for the end of this month!)
Leave a comment if you took the archetype quiz to let me know what you are!
I'm still up at 3am cos this is week 2 of being homebound. I've been watching movies. And even tho I've been having to wake up at 6am on weekdays for the last 9.5 years to go to work, I'm still a night owl when left to my own devices.
I have an interview with a school tomorrow, and another on Saturday. I have never wanted a job so badly. I don't know if it's because this is the first time that I've had to change jobs since my parents have been gone, and therefore I feel as though I've lost some kind of emotional safety net (altho to be honest I doubt they've been 'present' for a while even when they were still alive...), or whether it's because it's been a while since I've wanted to leave a job becuase it was causing me real anxiety/depression.
There's a thing called anxiety-induced shakes -
An anxiety-induced shake is an involuntary trembling or quivering of the muscles. It happens when stress triggers a rush of adrenaline and cortisol through your body. This "fight-or-flight" response primes your muscles for quick physical action, which can show up as shaking hands or internal vibrations.
Why It Happens-
Adrenaline Surge: Stress hormones flood your system to give you fast energy. Muscle Tension: Muscles tighten up to get ready to run or fight, leading to tremors. Nervous System Overload: Your sympathetic nervous system stays on high alert.
And that's how I know if I don't get out fast I'm going to be headed for my 4th episode - and I definitely do NOT want that.
I've talked to my boss. He's no help.
The good thing is that I've been to see my physiotherapist who was shocked that I was expected back at work this coming Monday. He was very adamant about NOT commuting on the bus because he's convinced it's going to aggravate the tear and then I'd be in even worse shape than I'm in now.
So he sent me off with a note. I've told the boss that I'm not coming in NEXT week as well.
He asked if I have enough medical leave to cover so many days off work. (Which I am not pleased about because my gawd I took ZERO sick days the last 2 years and can't he just make an exception? FFS, if anyone can tell Human Resources to overlook the ONE extra day I'll need, HE can!)
Anyway, I told him I'll just take that last day as unpaid leave. But that really does tell me after all this time, no matter how he's always said he needs me around (he's teased me multiple times - "don't leeeeave me!") when push comes to shove, I'm just a number on their corporate spreadsheet.
But this also means whatever trace amount of guilt I felt at having to take a third week off work is now completely obliterated.
He texted me to update me about the replacement staff who would be coming in to cover my shifts, she's been there last week and this week, and he asked if I'd already informed her about next week. I said no, but since he would be seeing her at work today, he can just tell her. So his update to me this evening was that she'd be ok to cover next week's shifts, but "she looked disappointed that she had to work another week".
What did he expect me to say to that? Whatever it was, it wasn't happening. I sent him back a "K".
1) She could have said no. 2) If they need to find someone else that's their problem not mine. They'll just have to arrange for someone from the main branch to come over. 3) I'm not coming back to work against medical advice just because she's not keen on taking on another week of adjunct work.
And I'm not going to feel bad about any of this because it's not on me.
Oh, and the verdict -
It definitely IS a tear in the gastrocnemius muscle - likely a 50-60% (grade 2) tear in the belly of the medial head, unlikely to be the myotendinous junction, thank goodness, and the Achilles tendon itself is unaffected. There was some greenish / yellowish bruising along the medial tibial region, and medial malleolus -aka inner ankle bone. It wasn't there in the beginning and really only started showing up 2 days ago. This dependent ecchymosis seems to be a good thing, as the colour indicates that it's in the healing phase.
Here's the explanation according to google's AI assistant :
The Greenish Colour: This is a great sign that your body is actively healing. When blood pools under the skin, it starts out dark red or purple. After a few days, your body's immune cells break down the dead red blood cells (specifically the hemoglobin). This chemical breakdown changes the color to biliverdin (which looks green) and hemosiderin (which looks yellow or brown).
How It Works (The Gravity Effect): When you experience a significant internal injury—such as your 50-60% medial gastrocnemius tear—a substantial amount of bleeding occurs deep inside the muscle. Instead of rising straight up to the skin at the calf, the liquid blood follows the path of least resistance. Driven by gravity, it seeps downward through the spaces between muscles and connective tissues (fascial planes). It only becomes visible as a bruise once it settles close to the skin surface in a lower, "dependent" area—in your case, along the inner side of your shin bone and eventually down toward your ankle.
And so I have bought myself (or my torn calf muscle has) some time to get down to the business of finding a job. As soon as I get a positive response from one of the places I've applied to, I'm gonna get on the phone with HR and tell them I'm not coming back to work and "due to medical reasons" will be submitting my resignation with immediate notice. I'm likely going to have to pay them some money in lieu of the notice period, but with the leg the way it is, and my physio banning me from using any steps / ladders / stools and/or tiptoeing for the next 2 months, how am I supposed to be any use at work when that's an integral part of my day to day anyway?
Bah, I just want this whole thing to be settled one way or the other. I really dislike having things up in the air.
It is likely I tore my muscle climbing up because my heel was OFF the stool. So all the weight was on the ball of my foot, the ankle had space to flex, and the knee was straightened as I reached up and lifted the other leg off the floor. Those of you who climb the stairs with only the balls of your feet making contact... PLEASE take note of your knee position - keep 'em bent if you have to. Cos I know not all steps are made deep enough for us big-footed persons!
I was being productive. My bag shelf was getting congested. I wanted to sell and/or donate a few of the ones I didn't love, so I got them all out and posted the photos on my group chats. Saturday seems a good day for such endeavours as I managed to clear out a lot of the ones that I had earmarked for said exercise.
Extremely pleased with myself, I gathered the rest and prepared to get back up on my stool, happy that what remained were the pieces I truly wanted to keep, and that they didn't number so many that I'd end up double-rowing. This means I would now be able to see ALL of my bags at a glance instead of rummaging about to see what's BEHIND the front row.
Only, when I lunged up onto the stool I heard a snap and felt something hit the back of my leg. It gave me a fright, to be honest. And then I felt the most crampy cramp in my calf. You know those ones that you get in the middle of the night that wake you up in a sweat and you find your foot or toes pointing in some weird position caused by a muscle spasm? Yea... that's what it felt like.
Yesterday I learnt about tennis leg : "Tennis leg is a painful tear in the inner calf muscle (usually the medial gastrocnemius). It often happens during quick movements like sudden stops, sprints, or changes of direction. People usually feel a sharp "pop" in the lower leg, like being struck or shot."
I am currently hobbling about with mum's walking stick. At least the week off will give me some reprieve from dealing with the brat at work. That's what she's proving to be - immature and defensive and a right child. I have no time for this bullshit. HR hasn't gotten back to me about any of the issues I raised previously either. And my boss is being obtuse and ignoring all the bad juju that he surely must be feeling by now. Anyway.... The job hunt continues. And I've never been happier to be stuck at home!
That's the blue stool in the background.
And my leg with a sleeve round it holding an icepack against my calf.
I wasn't planning on going on this recent trip, but then I was feeling greedy for some Kenny Hills so I decided to tag along on BIKSS' worktrip. He was gonna leave on a Monday, we got my ticket on the Friday prior. And I couldn't get out of work on Monday so he went ahead first, and I met up with him there later in the day.
There are other things going on in my life right now, one of which is being unhappy at work. I'm annoyed at my boss, my human resource person, and my current colleague. So I've applied to another job. Let's see how that goes.
But for now, let me just enjoy showing you the photos of all our treats!
Intermittent Fasting was put on hold (we'd both been at it for about a week - properly - before we left) and decided that we would just enjoy ourselves while we were away, then get back to it - properly - when we came home. The good news is, we both lost some weight before we left, and at least we're not too much over what we started with when we got back.
We ate dinner on Monday night at a place recommended by my Uber driver. It was near our hotel, so why not?! Broccoli and mushrooms / Roast chicken / Prawns in kam heong sauce -
Kam Heong (Golden Fragrance) sauce is a signature Malaysian stir-fry paste known for its rich umami and aromatic profile. It is made by sautéing a base of dried shrimp, curry leaves, shallots, garlic, and chilies with Malaysian curry powder and savory sauces like oyster sauce, soy sauce, and sugar.
Then we walked back to the hotel via a 'connecting' alleyway that was lined with eateries!
And stopped for some gelato. Good gelato. We had this in London too.. it's turned into something of a signature out-of-town ice cream treat for us.
We also bought some chocolate pieces.
The next morning I was off to Kenny Hills to pre-order my loot. Picked up some of these packaged treats for gifting (ahem... and eating...) while I was there. They promised to have my order ready for pick-up at noon the next day.
And since BIKSS loves an eclair, well...
Some of their offerings... none of these came home with me. Too fragile to travel.
These were the 3 bags I collected the day after, including some additional items that BIKSS wanted - I took him with me cos I figured there were gonna be too many boxes. Also, we tried some of the lemon drizzle loaf and banana bread later that day, and I ended up heading back there again the following day to pick up some more for BIKSS and myself to take home.
Top - marshmallow nutella brownie (so good... so, so good) Bottom - banana bread, slices of lemon drizzle loaf, and a scone
(There were 3 more scones in another box, don't you worry...)
I had a wander around the basement of the mall, and there were so many bakeries it was a good thing I had had lunch. There were fruit tarts, flattened croissant things (see explanation below) - and more scones!
They originated in South Korea as a viral dessert called krungji (or kurongji), which is a portmanteau of croissant and nurungji (a traditional Korean crispy scorched rice snack).
...Ok, I caved and bought some of those chocolate covered scones. Altho' I should have trusted my instincts and needn't have bothered. They weren't worth the calories! BIKSS didn't mind them tho, so I chucked them in his suitcase!
(OOTD: Black floral A-line dress with cut in top, beige slides, and blue and white tote.)
By the end of the afternoon I was ready to head back to the room.
My last stop was a new bakery called Hot Crush:
Hot Crush, the viral pink bakery, officially opened its first Southeast Asian outlet in Kuala Lumpur on December 20, 2025. The bakery originated as a massive hit in Shanghai, China.
I wish I could tell you that I tried some of those other tarts and what not, but I didn't. BIKSS bought a chocolate egg tart on the last day and I picked one up too. But I didn't get a picture of it. I *can* say that it was delicious! I did manage to grab a pic off the internet -
(Bottom row - middle)
I was more interested in things that would travel well, so I got a Berlin Volufra Cocoa Crispy Pretzel / Honey Pistachio Nut Bar / and an amusing receipt that tells me the Amount Of Money I paid.
Along with the pretzel and nut bars (which are really just sourdough breadsticks with nuts that are cut up on the spot as they pack up your purchase) and wellington croissants (mini beef wellingtons anyone? see pics below) I also picked up some ready-to-eat Bird's Nest and Chrysanthemum + Honeysuckle tea from a wellness/herbal remedy shop.
Signature Black Truffle Wellington Steak Croissant
- it's one of their big hits, and so I just had to try it.
And it was so good I went back to the store the morning of our departure to pick up 4 more. They open at 12. I was in line at 12.05.. But it wasn't ready yet. Come back in an hour, they said. BIKSS came round to meet me for lunch, then we headed back up again at 1. Thankfully, this time we managed to bag our goodies, which I hand-carried (along with the Nutella brownies) onto the plane.
We had lunch at a nearby restaurant with a forest theme on one of the days and aside from the strange decor I must say the food was very decent. They had set meals which came with free flow salad (a limited selection, but still, enough to make a decent garden salad) and fruit punch. I chose the fish tacos for my main, and BIKSS had the crispy chicken burger. We were quite satisfied. There was also a tiny Tiramisu thrown in to complete the meal.
On the day we collected our stuff from Kenny Hills we had wanted to lunch there but it was full so we headed to Tabush instead which, I'm glad to say, has never disappointed.
And this time was no exception.
We had a brinjal masala -
also known as baingan masala, is a rich, spiced South Asian curry made with eggplant (brinjal). The eggplant is either pan-fried or simmered whole in a fragrant, thick gravy made with onions, tomatoes, ginger, garlic, and a blend of traditional ground spices.
... and another brinjal thing with minced lamb. It's called Monazala Batinjan B'Forn -
a classic Middle Eastern eggplant and tomato casserole or stew. It typically features layers of roasted or fried eggplant, savory minced meat (lamb or beef), and a rich tomato sauce, all baked together in the oven until bubbling.
On our last night out BIKSS wanted to take me to a nice sit down dinner so we chose a steakhouse. Off we went to Corks Out, which was an easy 5-min walk from our hotel.
(OOTD: Black spaghetti maxi cotton dress with tulle overlay, a scarf that belonged to my friend's late mum, the one whose wake I spent a whole week at last month, and grey snakeskin clutch.)
They brought the raw meats to the table in a basket and we selected the cuts we wanted, then they grilled them up. When the food arrived back at the table each cut of meat came with its own info cards.
I wasn't thrilled with the lamb ribs but the beef was VERY good.
We also had grilled napa cabbage with anchovy sauce (caesar dressing I suppose) and cheese, a pomegranate and beetroot salad, and the server brought over a trio of salts - from left to right, herbal salt made seasoned with angelica root, mushroom salt, and a smoked salt. I generally don't like salty food so after he placed the three little piles on our plates I promptly tried them each once then chucked the whole lot out. They weren't bad, I just don't like salting my food beyond whatever sauce is already on the serving plate.
Thankfully, aside from the brown mushroom (?) sauce on the side plate, the other dips were not salty. That reddish one is a chilli-vinegar dip, and the green one is a chimichurri which I quite liked. (And in case you're wondering, yes, I generally have low blood pressure, somewhere in the 95/60 range, and it's been this way since I was young. I think it's because mum didn't use a lot of salt in her food, owing to dad's hypertension. So I just got used to eating less-salty food.)
Right, one of the last things I picked up were these Shanghainese "scones" or meat pastries.
That carrier bag is adorable! The buns aren't too bad either LOL.
Ji Pin He (吉品合) is a popular bakery chain originally founded in Shanghai, China, in 2008. Known for its freshly baked, flaky, and meat-filled Chinese scones (sometimes referred to as baked buns), the brand has grown to operate over 400 outlets.
They had some fun flavours. Aside from the ones here, they also had New Orleans Chicken, Chicken and Shrimp, and Black Pepper Beef - which are the flavours BIKSS chose, so I picked up one of each for him and myself. And boy did they smell awesome!
It was supposed to be a quick lunch at Kyochon Chicken before we left for the airport. We had the cheese truffle boneless bites, and the soy garlic + red hot (it wasn't hot!) boneless bites combo. In the end I was a bit disappointed. It was far from great, just edible I'd say, and it took way longer than we expected. Almost half an hour for those bits of chicken to arrive. You can be sure I'm never going back.
Founded in 1991 in South Korea, Kyochon is one of the world's most iconic Korean fried chicken chains. Famous for its signature double-frying technique and hand-brushed sauces, the brand uses antibiotic-free chicken and premium canola oil to create a crispy, less greasy finish.
And that's my foot on the plane. With my bag of beef wellingtons and brownies, and a handbag under the seat in front of me! I love having checked baggage... no overhead bins to struggle with!
And that's it! I'm curious to hear if you've tried any of the foods that I've shared here... some of these were new to me, and I think my favourite meals were at Tabush (I do love Middle Eastern cuisine) and the steakhouse (but only because it was a novel experience and the beef was really tender).
