When Is a Breakthrough a Breakthrough?

I suppose when things feel stuck, and your brain latches on to some new idea

Or when a thing you're afraid to say just cannot be left unsaid anymore

Perhaps when there's a problem that needs addressing, and you know that talking about it COULD make it worse

How about when you BOTH are reluctant to admit something because doing so would make it real

💢

*IS* there a problem? 

☝Disconnect. I miss the tenderness, the reaching for me, the grabbing my hand and putting it on his lap as he drives... it had been ages before the day we talked that he last kissed my forehead, my nose... 

Lesson - INSIST on being treated the way you want to be treated. 

Tangential Lesson - sometimes you realise shit only when you're talking about the OTHER shit.

✌D/s. It had all but disappeared. I'm not innocent in this. The menopause and the fluctuating hormones that accompany this time in my life has wreaked havoc on my libido. Do we still have sex? Yes. Is it as hot and heavy as before? No. Do I consider it a duty? Yes. Is that bad? No. Does he want me to think of it as a duty? Probably not. But as one half of this relationship and because I acknowledge that sex is part of this relationship is that acceptable? Yes. To me anyway. 

Sex is a strange part of relationships. I've decided that it's a HUGE part, but one that is played down because society thinks it's crass to talk about it as if it's ALL there is in a relationship. It's not. But it's a HUGE PART. Acknowledge it. 

Still, old habits. We are conditioned I suppose, not to place emphasis on it. I live in Asia. Conservative Asia. Pffft. 

Lesson - Be crass, be obvious, be direct. If you want sex, say so. If you want sex, initiate it. If you want sex, whisper it in my ear. 

Lesson 2 - Be deliberate in the D/s. We need to be quiet, there are other people in the house. But there are quiet ways to have kinky sex. 

👌Fondles is mad. Well, Fondles wants to know stuff. But some stuff about how he does his life and his family, Fondles doesn't agree with. 

But more than that, I have a chip on my shoulder and it's too heavy for me to shrug off on my own. A little help would be appreciated. I'm a minefield, he doesn't know when a thing is a thing that I'll get mad about or a thing that I'll ignore. I recognise this. I also recognise that I need to be better at being a LOT MORE DIRECT about telling him and not be worried about what he will think of it. 

Lesson - BIKSS is difficult to offend. (At least, he'll try really hard not to let what I say offend him.) So if something hurts just say it.

Reminder Lesson for BIKSS - if you say something and I get upset by it, grab me, hold me, and reassure me. Don't 'give me space'. 

Malaysia with the Sister

She's been wanting a revenge holiday since the Genting hotel no-hot-water debacle.

So we went to Johor over the weekend. Thankfully it wasn't too much trouble getting there. 

Since there wasn't much to do by way of sight-seeing, as it's mostly just a shopping paradise, we shopped! And ate! 

First, I went hunting for a little pop up stall by a company called Cypress Perfume. They make very affordable dupes of popular designer fragrances and I've tried a few of their scents in 10ml bottles. They're pretty good and even though they don't last forever, they DO handle 4-6 hours of wear very decently. That's good enough for me. They also don't start to stink after a couple of hours, which some cheaper formulations do.

Since we had a loyalty card, we also qualified for a free 50ml bottle now that we'd accumulated enough stamps! So I got me my Penhaligon Coveted Duchess Rose dupe, AND picked up a free bottle of JM's English Pear and Freesia dupe too. 

Inside the mall there was a penguin themed summer activity event - I don't recognise the penguin... it must be some cartoon character from their local TV cos there were a lot of kids getting excited and shouting their names at the meet & greet session (2 costumed penguins were roaming the atrium) -but I did like the flamingo floats in the penguin pool hunt. There were definitely NO penguins in that penguin pool tho. Perhaps that's why it's called a hunt! 

We had lunch at a Japanese hotpot restaurant. One of their recommended side dishes was 'fried milk' so we absolutely had to try it! It was a slightly creamy filling encased in thin pastry and deep fried. I'm not sure what it was actually made of, perhaps a custard, as in the Spanish leche frita I reckon.

Hot on the heels of the magic that was fluffy pancakes in Bangkok, I decided to order some for tea. I was deceived. It was REGULAR pancakes. Pffft. That's an earl grey tea cake up top. Which didn't taste much like anything. Still, the apple rose tea was pretty good. 

Some baked paus (or shao bao) from 2 different bakeries... I used to have a favourite but that brand seems to have gone down the drain. I was looking for a new favourite. I might have found one in the Weng Lock Kee version. 

Butterless chocolate cake. Pretty good. Rich, moist and very chocolatey. When it finally got to our table I understood why it took so long. I mean, who needs the essay? Just give me the cake already!

A Disney/Pixar atrium fair. Games, photo booths, and merchandise. I don't think the kids enjoyed it as much as the parents did LOL. I mean, Donald and Mickey ARE really old school.

The majority of my loot from this trip is comprised of scents and sprays and mists and food! Chips. Always, chips. 

Our last full meal of the trip consisted of a LOT of chicken - roast chicken, braised soy sauce chicken, and some dumpling soup and okra in chilli. Plus a free serving of 'top hats' or 'pie tee' which are flour cups with shredded veggies in them. 

Not the tastiest, but not too expensive so I can't complain - much. "The Chicken Rice Shop" is a popular chain in Malaysia, but I really don't see what the fuss is about. I doubt I'll be heading into one of their stores ever again.

And now, I need to head off to my massage appointment. All that shopping has given me an achey back! 

Bangkok Foto Dump - May 2025

I'm back. It was a lovely vacation, we had a fair amount of couple time *ahem* if you know what I mean, but I cannot expound because Blogger will probably put a ban on me again.

I found renewed joy in being able to serve again. BIKSS always said I was a service sub. I'm not sure I enjoy being told what to do, or how to serve tho. I'm more a control-freak sub. Plus ok, maybe a bit of it is I want to serve, in general. I enjoy hosting dinners, organising brunches, sorting through tons of still-good clothes, toys and kitchenware to post on my re-homeing groups. There is a FINE line between service and bossiness, as you can see.

Anyway, it's wonderful to be appreciated. We had a lot of good conversation, about us, about our relationship, about how we interact with each other. I made him coffee, did some shopping on his behalf while he was at work, and managed a spot of ironing - and sewing, cos I saw some of his shirt buttons needed reinforcing. They weren't gonna pop off anytime soon, I don't think, but would have at SOME point! 

Our *ahem* couple time was also a little bit more spicy than usual, with some ripping of underwear (disposable panties are awesome!), mild choking, spanks and just a bit more relaxed banter and fun being had all-round. 

There was a point where I said I would endeavour to stroke Roger with my mouth 100 times. And I did. And I think that simple non-complicated act I'd done a thousand times before might have been the highlight of our fun times just because I put a number on it. I dunno what that's about, but it felt very satisfying. 

I got most of my shopping done on the first day! Located a supermarket that I chanced upon on my last trip there (and therefore didn't really take note of which mall it was in) in the second mall I came to... and spent a hundred bucks on snacks and condiments. It was madness. 20% of it was snacks. 80% was condiments. 

Here goes... (in no particular order... I'll post captions along with the pics)

The Promised Land... aka Tops Supermarket where I spent the MOST money in one go

Half of my loot -

Most of it was Namprik,  which is a dried chilli condiment that can be mixed with fish sauce and/or lime or vinegar to make a dipping sauce, or just sprinkled over a dish (rice, stir fry veggies, fried noodles etc). Some of it is plain dried chilli seasoned with shallots and garlic and what not, but I also got some with dried fish, dried squid, and some paste (in-oil) versions made with crab and shrimp.  There were also mushroom ones (vegan-friendly) which I got for the brother - let it not be said that I'm not charitable even tho' I know I said once mum was gone he'd be cancelled from my life! Hrmph. I have a soft heart, what can I say. Well, not really. If I'm being really honest, this is just me protecting my reputation and making sure NO ONE can say I was the asshole here. Ha! Take that!

I digress. It looks something like this - and I have a LOT of little packets. 

The view of the mall's facade from the connecting linkway from the hotel

Dinner at a restaurant that was recommended by one of the hotel staff

Stir fried something (veg), crispy squid and squid roe (I didn't know there was such a thing) in a bed of crunchy fried seasoned garlic bits. (They sell those in a bottle too, and I bought some, of course!)

Blended guava with plum puree drizzle. Not my thing. BIKSS enjoyed it tho.

And a sampling platter. Skinny chicken in filo pastry rolls, Thai fishcake, moo ping (yum!) and some prawn fritters.

I'm not sure if they intended for Eatopia to sound like Ethiopia. I thought it was most unfortunate.

(But seriously, Bangkok IS a lousy place if you're on a diet...)

Croissant-waffles. They go by a lot of different names, usually some combination of the two words, but I understand at least ONE of those names have been wordmarked. I didn't try any simply because there were a pair of flies hovering over the treats. 

I did have a mille-feuille. And some kind of earl grey lavender tea concoction that tasted neither of earl grey nor lavender. It was still delicious tho. It was also a very expensive afternoon treat (20 bucks!). But oh my, that confection was HEAVENLY.

I also did buy a couple of Cinnabons - well, BIKSS bought them to placate me after I got upset that the lady at the restaurant made a boo-boo when I was paying with my phone... she brought her silly handheld machine to my phone BEFORE I could toggle to the card I wanted to use. I mean, GO AWAY and let ME bring my card to YOU. Pfft. I was grumbling. I saw the shop. We stopped in. And I could see the excitement in his eyes at the opportunity to buy me some pacification by way of a sweet treat. 

"If I said I was still upset would you buy me more treats?"

"Uh-huh, for sure. What would you like?" 

LOL.

There's a music studio INSIDE H&M!

There's a cafe in H&M too. Seems there are cafes EVERYWHERE in BKK.

More shopping. Beauty haul. Got a foundation stick (not so great, so I'm glad I didn't pay FULL price for it which I would have if I'd gotten it back home). Tweezers and little scissors for beauty needs. A whole bunch of perfumes from a Thai perfume brand called Butterfly - they have a permanent booth in one of the marketplace areas of the mall and it was crazy packed. I'll admit, that was the only reason I wandered over to take a look - to see what all the fuss was about. Got BIKSS one too, and they gave some tiny samples. Picked up a bottle of lemongrass and mint essential oil blend - heavenly! And mixed nuts for half what I have to pay for them back home.

Very informative labelling on their cooking oils.

Dinner at Beer Republic on the ground floor of the adjacent Holiday Inn Hotel - the top left photo is a baked tandoori-seasoned cauliflower covered in some kind of yoghurt based dressing. And served with a knife stabbed into it! The chicken quesadillas had a crispy shell, almost like a deep-fried roti. Very delicious.

Fried vermicelli with crab and water mimosa. Tastes like kangkong (aka water spinach) if you ask me. That's green curry in the background. And we actually DID have stir fried kangkong too. That spoon tho, was absolutely perfect as a serving spoon. It really did the job! Looks like the bigger brother of what we used to get in the old days back home for tiny dessert spoons.

(This is a picture from Ebay - under Vintage Old Chinese Metal Spoon)

THIS dessert was NOT $20. Krispy Kreme had an Ovaltine thing going on and the lady recommended this from the 3 offerings they had on display. I was not disappointed. Cream covered Ovaltine glazed donut with mascaporne cream filling. 5 bucks, Thai milk tea included.

(Ovaltine Krispy Kremes)

Part of our Siam Paragon Food Court dinner. We traipsed over to the slightly farther away (20min walk) Siam Paragon cos the food court there is somewhat legendary. BIKSS had never been and he was pretty impressed by what it had to offer. We found a table and I sent him off to "find interesting food". 

He came back with moo ping (have I mentioned it's a favourite of mine?) and crab meat rolls (also something I enjoy tremendously!). Clever man. And that green dipping sauce? I got me a bottle of that from the supermarket too. Spicy, savoury, sweet and sour all rolled into one. Absolutely perfect!

While looking up the internet for a description / wiki page on crab meat rolls I learned they're actually called Crab Jujubes or Hoi Jo. Which sounds similar to what we call them at home - Hey Cho. I just didn't know they were called Jujubes!

After some dumplings and a layered pasta and cheese dish (that felt like it was supposed to be lasagna but wasn't - still delicious tho) I sent BIKSS off to get a banana crepe. I saw the sign as I went past the shop, but I didn't LOOK at what their version of a banana crepe actually was. I imagined slices of banana in a rolled up crepe. With a dollop of cream. I was wrong. As BIKSS said "There's enough cream in there to paint a house". I am wont to agree. Still, we DID finish the lot! LOL. Diet be damned.

(Assorted dumplings with chive, yam, bamboo shoot and turnip fillings)

Squares of 'Decepticon' lasagna with various toppings. It's meat + tomato sauce ala lasagna, but instead of layers of lasagna, it's layers of mozarella sheets, and between them, more meat, veggies, and at least one layer of fusilli.

We saw these WAY after we had finished dinner and while I desperately wanted to try some, I was too full of banana crepe cream. Originally a Japanese pancake, the okonomiyaki sold here are covered in a variety of delicious toppings and set on a stick for portable eating. Oh, but don't you fret. I'm coming back for you! 

(CLICK HERE if you'd like to watch a half an hour Youtube review - not by me - of said food court)

Then there was the fluffy pancake that was magic on a plate. Ricotta pancakes are the best thing since sliced bread, I'm telling you. It's the first time I've had a chance to try some, and I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED. I console myself by believing there's more protein in them cheesy clouds of bliss than in a regular pancake plate. Check out more pics on Instagram.

I think ours was a macadamia and vanilla sauce with mango topping.

And that's that. I don't think I did anything else besides eat and shop. And have some fun times in the room with BIKSS. The PERFECT getaway imho!

(Yes, I'm sure you put on a couple of pounds just looking at those pics!)