The fotos of the trip will come soon, I promise.
(and soon is a strange word innit? anyone here seen The Chosen? if you have, you'll understand the reference to that word!)
While we were on vacation (ok, I was on vacation, BIKSS was working) I found my mojo. Either
1) Those essential oils for rebalancing my hormones are working, or
2) The fact that they're relaxing and calming and have eased all the aches and pains means I'm more receptive to sexy time stuff.
The boss thinks it probably also has something to do with getting over the chronic stress and tension of being a caregiver for half a decade. He says usually it takes about 6-8 months, or sometimes even 12 months, for this kind of long-term stress and anxiety to wear off before any interest in sex returns.
Well, whatever it is, I'm glad it's back.
We had many plenty sex. BIKSS got many plenty blowjobs. We had sex in the mornings, before bed, when he got back to the hotel room after work and before going out to dinner...
The room came equipped with spanking apparatus too!
OK Fine, it was a clothes brush. But a handle is a handle, and THAT handle made contact with my butt!
There were hand spanks too, and not just on my ass. The boobs got smacked, the face got smacked, even pussy got a few slaps for good measure.
There was pinching, there was gagging, there was panting, there was a lot of action that had been missing in our sex life over the last few years. And there was interest.
I was horny. ACTUALLY horny. Not just "dutifully" servicing the man, but demanding to be serviced!
So yes, I think the mojo is back, and I think BIKSS is relieved.
He's been extremely sweet over the last few years that I've been disinterested in sex. We HAVE fucked, don't get me wrong, but I haven't exactly been eager to tear his clothes off.
If I'm being honest, a lot of it was duty driven. Which brings me to the other thing that's been on my mind a lot lately.
For some reason this topic of conversation has been making an appearance frequently over the last month or so. In a nutshell, it's this - if you don't take care of your man, he's going to find someone else who will. (We are M/f so my examples and references will reflect this type of coupling.)
I will qualify this by saying I'm not talking JUST about sex. But that IS a part of it.
So here is where I might sound like I'm comparing myself to his wife. That's not the intention, but if it looks that way, then so be it.
For one thing, there's the sex and the blowjobs. Then there's the DDlg / D/s dynamic. That one's a little contentious. After all, it was ME who wanted such a dynamic, not him. But he has found it agreeable and enjoys it all the same.
But it's the other things. Health. Diet. Supplements. Blood tests. Vaccinations. Thankfully he's able to handle exercising on his own, but in the past, that was something I would drag him out to do too. Vacation itineraries. Food adventures. Arts and Culture - I make it a point to attend shows and concerts and events that will enrich us. Fashion. Personal Style (when he changed jobs to join the luxury industry we both realised it was necessary to up-style his wardrobe!) Information. Tools. I used to send him links to videos and articles that were relevant to his industry (especially in the first months of his joining the new company).
When we vacation together I'm his personal round-the-clock housekeeping service. Coffee maker, cup washer, shoe arranger, shirt folder, towel hanger upper, personal item picker upper. You get the idea. I said to him recently, it must be nice to have your own slave with you on a business trip. (And I don't mean specifically Master/slave type of slave in the context of us having a D/s r/p. But literally a slave-girl to do all the chores and keep the place neat and clean and serve him coffee when he arrives back at the hotel after work.)
When we do get a chance to wake up together in the morning I make certain to touch him, stroke his chest, kiss whatever part of him is easily reachable to me in my sleepy state without my having to move around too much.
I am currently trying to reset a lappy that I got for free so that he can have it to use at home without lugging the office lappy back and forth. Sure, I could chuck the thing at him and say, here, I got it, you configure it. But if I can do a thing that makes his life easier I would do it.
Very, very early on, in the first few months of this blog's inception, I wrote a post about our dynamic. I said pretty much the same thing. If something I do can make his life a little bit easier, a little bit happier, then I'm doing it.
Coming back to the bit about taking care of your man, I must also mention intellectual stimulation. I know one of the things he enjoys about spending time with me is that I make him think. And we spar. And we discuss. And sometimes we fight (not my best moments...). We learn stuff together. We talk about philosophical things. We dig around each others' brains to suss out deep dark thoughts and desires. And I always want to know what he's feeling. About work. About himself. About his life. Well, with one exception.
For obvious reasons, the one topic I will not discuss is his family. Not only does it not concern me, but I am (and have to be) kept especially and entirely separate from it. Therefore I find it would only harm my emotional self if I were to discuss this aspect of his life. And this is something I will not do. I will care for him and build him up as long as it is not detrimental to my own self.
But that's also a very specific exclusion peculiar to our situation. And doesn't apply to regular marriages and relationships.
Anyway I shall continue. The thing that I have discovered is that the friends (women) with whom I have discussed this topic have all in one way or another come close to 'losing' their blokes, or at the very least felt that their relationships were headed south. And then realised that the fix was relatively simple. And once they decided to start 'taking care' of their men, things got a whole lot better.
I suppose the point I'm trying to make is, as girls growing up in my generation we were taught about equality and all that jazz. Stand on your own two feet. You don't need to pander to the needs of any man. You don't need them. You are independent, educated, confident. Blah blah blah. But no one reminded us that at the heart of the matter, men and women have very different needs and it's all just biology. They want to feel loved, wanted, cared for, and nurtured. These are not needs that are reserved just for the fairer sex, as romance novels (and Disney princesses of old) would have us believe.
(Before anyone reminds me that this is a D/s community and what I've been talking about is what everyone here already knows, that the Dom-sub relationship works wonders for a relationship because it is very often part of the contract or dynamic that subs, for want of better phrasing, give their Doms whatever is asked or required of them as the Doms see fit or for their pleasure; I want to emphasise that some men may not be comfortable with dominance and may not enter into such a relationship with thier spouses. Or their spouses may not be willing to be a sub. Honestly, would BIKSS and his partner have a much better relationship with D/s present? Sure. I believe so. Would he ever have brought it up to her? No. Would she have ever agreed to it? No. At least, I doubt it GREATLY. My point is, couples don't have to be in a D/s r/p to enjoy the rewards of this dynamic. JUST TAKE FUCKING CARE OF YOUR MAN. Or he's going to find someone else who will.)
And now, let the arrows fly!
(Comments are welcome. You are allowed to disagree, or unfollow. But please, keep it civil. )
