BIKSS and I are in our 50s. We met in 1988 but it took us 24 years before hooking up in 2012. We moved into a DD/lg dynamic a year later. In April 2015 some shit hit the fan. We took some time off but eventually found a new us.
I used to live alone except for a few shifting years when my folks moved in then out, then after dad passed on, mum moved in again. Now that she too has passed, it's just me, one carer whom I've decided to keep on, and my tenant.
He lives with his family. This is us.
Today I filled up a form for the vaccine. Since I'm working in healthcare I get dibs. The first wave of vaccinations have been reserved for medical staff and frontline workers. Once they've received my details, I'll get a letter / email / text message informing me which clinic I should go to, and when, in order to get jabbed.
I was on the fence at first, but after listening to my boss whom I hold in very high regard, and watching some interviews and reading the research papers, I think I will go ahead with it.
In case you wanted to watch an interview re the vaccine, this is a good one :
Today my live in helper had the day off and mum had been curious to try out a new restaurant near her old place.
The son that can do no wrong was supposed to take her there for Christmas lunch. But they ended up at some other Thai place and she still has no idea why... I told her it's probably because they didn't make a reservation.
The place has some very good value-for-money set meals that are very popular and it's notoriously crowded. I rang yesterday to make a reservation for lunch today. I had booked a table for 1.30, which normally isn't a busy time for the eateries in this area. The restaurants to the left and right of it were empty. But when we arrived we had to wait for about 5 minutes as they got our table ready (we were a little bit early) and as we walked to our seats I noticed that all the other tables were occupied.
She had a traditional Chinese fish head hot pot and I had the shabu pork belly and prawn set.
If weird Asian food freaks you out.. I suggest you say goodbye now and click out of this post. Or else keep reading for pics!
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The table top was mega colourful! With an induction plate for the soup pot.
My bowl of mushrooms and veggies, I don't like piping hot food so hot pot meals for me are a bit of an exercise in patience. I remove the cooked food from the main pot then wait for it to cool.
Close up of the pork and prawns and chopped up fish head. I come from a country where many of us grew up with fish head curry, fish head steamboat (aka hotpot), and grilled fish head etc.
She seemed to enjoy her lunch, and I think maybe I should start a new tradition. Perhaps the last day of the year is a fine time for us to do some mother-daughter bonding.
When I got home I found a package had arrived for me - I ordered a mat/rug for my room to exercise on. It arrived today and I absolutely love it. It wasn't the design I originally wanted, but everyone chose this one over the heart prints (they said it was too cheesy!) and I'm glad I went along with popular opinion. The pink and red hearts would have been a bit too loud in the little space on my floor that the rug occupies.
Later my sister and niece are coming over to hang out and watch the online streaming of the fireworks. They're broadcasting it on TV so we intend to have a go at some blackjack while watching the New Year's countdown show on the telly.
It's nice that she would come all this way, cos they don't exactly live nearby, and transportation will be expensive tonight.
I am grateful for that, and for the day I had. (My boss also gave me a huge discount on my flu jab - almost at cost! And I didn't even have to pay for *that*, cos he's applying for some sort of govt vaccination subsidy scheme on my behalf.)
The last day of the year has been a pretty awesome one. Let's hope this is a sign that 2021 will be just as swell!
A day ahead of the last day of the year, here are some thoughts.
Covid sucked out all the normalcy from our lives. But in the process the world and all its peoples have become stronger, more adaptable, and found strength from deep inside that we never knew we had.
Some have had to come to terms with truths about themselves, about how they feel about certain people and taken stock of the relationships they're in (whether romantic, familial, or just plain ol' friendships), taken steps to make them better (or cut people off altogether), or just taken to drinking to cope with all the madness!
I've spent a lot of time with my mother this year, being that she moved in in Jan and then we were basically stuck at home all the time together during lockdown. Most of it was good. Some of it was stressful.
BIKSS and I have had so little sex, but we've found a lot of new eating places in secluded areas because #Covid. Which is nice - like this authentic little Vietnamese cafe I discovered thru a friend's FB post -
Deep fried tofu - good and cheap
Beef salad - very raw... that's just onions and Thai basil and pineapple - the beef was very tender tho
Fried spring rolls - didn't taste like very much was in it except for the prawn
Egg Coffee - we enjoyed the ones we had in Hanoi so when we heard this place served it, we thought we just had to come here. Sadly, it tasted like just very sweet thick cream. Scary sweet. I don't think we'll come back here - and if we do, it won't be for the egg coffee.
Grilled pork vermicelli - the pork was really quite tough. The noodles are buried somewhere under all the vegetables, and there was the one lonesome spring roll.
I give it really high ratings for authenticity - the power went out twice during dinner, and the proprietors were actually Vietnamese (unlike some of the other restaurants here proclaiming to be Thai or Japanese, and yes even Vietnamese, where the owner probably just went on holiday to said country and decided to come back and set up shop!).
The food was authentic too, tasted very much like the food we had in HCMC but then, since I'm not a huge fan of southern Vietnamese food, I think I'll stick to the little cafe that serves Northern V.
Anyway, to continue on with the year end thoughts - I've decided to shift gears a little bit with classes, cos all the kids have fallen into no-exam-complacency. So I've taken to doing listening and music appreciation sessions with them... and discussing OTHER music-related things instead of just focusing on their yearly exam syllabus. I would like to do this all the time but most parents are sickeningly focused on exam preparation and tend to think of general musical exploration as a waste of time. It's just the way it is here in where-I-live. But since there are NO exams going on right now they can't say that we're not concentrating on "the things things that matter". Ha!
It also feels like many of us had a lot of time this year to explore other interests that we wouldn't have had the time to do had we still been stuck in the mundane work-home-work-home lives we'd been leading. Some of us also saw huge changes. I for one went on a skincare / skin health quest. For Betty it was discovering aerobics videos and actually doing some sort of formal exercise. And she finally got round to buying a flat. For another bestie, Covid finally forced her to look for a different job because the one she had (and hated!) was beginning to look terribly insecure. She's happier in her new workplace. Another realised that he had been ignoring some mental health issues that finally became too intrusive to ignore, and is now under medical treatment and is doing heaps better! Another lost her dad this year, but has since come to terms with how fast it happened, and is currently going through a very un-Asian process of dealing with deep emotional feelings regarding her relationship with him, from childhood to present. I'm glad she feels safe enough with us to share her thoughts on our group chats and at our (small) gatherings.
And that's been the most significant thing this year I think - many of us have learnt to lean on each other and engage more meaningfully with friends and family in the intimate settings that we have been forced to adopt if we want any human interaction at all.
I hope you have had some positive moments from the awful year we've had too, and here's wishing one and all a much better 2021!
That was me. On the night we went out for our Christmas dinner.
Cos spaghetti straps means strapless bra. And strapless bras = uncomfortable. And not uncomfortable means nipple shields (stickers) or just going braless.
That's the dress. But no, that's not me.
I decided that since it was mostly black and it was night time and BIKSS was with me (so less chance of weirdos coming up and trying to be fresh) I'd just forego the bra.
He didn't mention it tho. All thru dinner. We made it back to the carpark at my place before he was certain.
As he reached towards me, eventually settling for wrapping an arm around my waist while waiting for the elevator -
"You wanted to reach for my tit there didn't you?"
Laughs. "I did. But cameras."
"I dare say you're losing your touch"
"I am. I knew there was no bra but I thought maybe shields... cos I didn't see any nipplage in the car, nor thru dinner, but perhaps now I know why the attendants at the entrance to the club / restaurant were so eager to assist you..."
"Were they now... And I'm over it. I can't be arsed. I'm too old to care. If I can get away without wearing a bra, then I'm not wearing one."
Goodness knows we already have to wear a mask everywhere we go...
First, I can say that the ring is officially my Christmas present from Daddy. He transferred the cash today lol.
We had an early Christmas dinner last night cos today and tomorrow are going to be crazy busy for me.
He took me to a little island I had never been to, and we had dinner at a lovely little restaurant facing the marina waterfront.
Trout carpaccio, scallops with quinoa, and barramundi. We're fishy that way.
And a cream puff with apples and caramel for dessert. That blob is supposed to be ice cream. I don't know why it looks so sad in this pic LOL. It was actually quite decent, really.
I don't know why there were little pools in front of the stretch of restaurants but it did add to the whole relaxed vibe.
View of the outdoor part of the restaurant from the boardwalk.
And that's BIKSS coming out to meet me after having paid the cheque. With his man-bag.
Here's a close up -
I'm glad he's enjoying his present. At least it's being put to good use!
Speaking of presents... here's the other thing I got him for him to open (which I promised to post once he unwrapped it)!
You can fill up the little reservoir in the bottom half of the mini diffuser, or just open up the bottom bit and stick the whole thing in a cup of water and it'll act like a siphon and suck up the water from the outside. There's a sponge tube inside the barrel that you're meant to drop some essential oil on and the mist comes out the top. USB rechargeable for portability or use around the office (where lack of power sockets / table top space prevents him from using a table top diffuser).
As for me, since he can't decide what on earth to get me we decided that he could take me to a nice dinner once a month. This is a bit of a deal cos nice dinners cost a lot of money and in the past I would ALWAYS make a fuss when he wanted to take me somewhere fancy - as soon as I saw the menu I'd veto it. I mean, he's not exactly the Prince of Wales.
Well. Ok. He has assured me that we (HE) can afford a nice dinner at least once a month so that's what he's gonna do. Get dinner plans sorted and then just tell me what I'm wearing and then off we go.
This is also a bit of a deal cos I really wish he'd make the plans more often instead of me having to ask him where we're going, what we're doing, what time, etc... You know? The usual "Please be a dom and make the decisions" refrain that we hear all over blogland.
He did that eventually. After a bit of a messy start. Haha. By the end of my whining he said "Dress up tomorrow."
"Should I wear my red dress or?"
"You can wear the red dress. Dress light but bring a shawl. Just in case it gets breezy."
And that turned me on. *Shrugs*
It turns out I didn't wear the red dress. You know how some days some clothes just don't fit ?
I ended up in a calf length slipdress with spaghetti straps. And pretty sparkly shoes.
And a thong underneath.
That made getting naked after dinner really easy.
The zip got pulled down, the dress slipped off me onto the floor.
I helped undress him, and, sitting on the edge of the bed, he lay back while I knelt on the floor and got to work on Roger.
Slow. Relaxed.
Wet.
I made a mess. That hasn't happened here in FOR-EH-VAH!
Maybe it was the phytoestrogen from all that soy milk I'd been drinking. Or maybe the 'sub' part of my brain got activated from his undressing me and sucking on my nipples, pinching on my tits, my sucking on his cock.
He had me stand as he sat up and pulled down my thong. Messy. A trail of cool wetness down my right inner thigh.
His finger found his way into my pussy and with his other hand he reached up and grabbed my neck.
He slapped the left side of my face. Unexpected. Sharp. I'm sure I got wetter. Did he still have his finger in me?
Which hand did he use? How many hands were in play here anyway? I could have sworn he still had his hand wrapped around my throat. And inside me. And also slapping me, left, left, right, left, right, right.
It's funny, I remember the sequence of the slaps, but not where the other hand was.
It's been a while since I lost track of seemingly easy to remember details. And focused on the things one might not think one would remember. Like how many times he pushed his cock deep into my throat - 2 in succession, and held there for a little while longer, followed by a "good girl", then another 3 more tugs of my head and almost a choke, then a look of approval as my eyes met his. And after a short break another strong thrust - deep and long.
Was this after I had gotten out of my thong? Was it after or before the slaps? I don't remember.
I seem to have a problem with sequencing.
Here's a sequence I do remember. He fucked me twice. Once on my back, and once on my belly.
THAT, I remember.
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It's coming up to midnight here, and I just wanted to wish everyone a Blessed Christmas,
Recently I've been listening to audiobooks on Youtube. Turns out you don't need to pay for a subscription cos people put stuff up there for free. Of course the selection may not be awesome, but if you're not fussy and only listen for the lovely British accent, crisp articulation and well-written prose (the level of English in my country is NOT great, let me tell you that!) then any old story will be more than satisfactory.
I came across them when I was looking for relaxing tunes to listen to while using my red light therapy mask. Youtube suggested a sleep story - usually nothing's happening in those, just lots of descriptive passages - and after doing that for a couple of weeks Youtube then suggested an audiobook - Benedict Cumberbatch reads Sherlock Holmes. What? I loved Sherlock. So I clicked on it and it was fabulous.
It was a little weird listening to him read from Dr Watson's POV tho, since he plays Sherlock in the TV series. But I got through some stories rather quickly that week and went in search of more audiobooks.
I found a Tom Hiddleston one which also makes for great listening, and as it's a long book (3 hours and a bit) I've been listening to a little bit every day. Now I *MUST* have been ovulating today because for some reason I felt incredibly turned on listening to him read about some dude who took off his pants in an effort to remind himself that he was still the man, still in control of the situation as he looked at his bare chest and naked loins in the mirror. Naked loins??The particular chapter in question also featured the word "Dominate" (in its various parts of speech) multiple times and I couldn't help but think of him in a D/s role. Yummy, I think.
So let me know, if you were in the market for a dom, would you pick Benedict or Tom? I'm team Tom!
I went to the gardens with my family and found a ring I really really loved. I like rings, in general, so I often play with them at stores.
But when I tried THIS one on, I didn't want to take it off. I can't explain what it is about it that I like so much... I just do. It's a feeling, you know? It sparks joy. Many many sparks, this one.
So I bought it and then suggested to BIKSS that he could pay for it and that would count as one of his presents to me. He agreed and mentioned throughout dinner how he had really good taste, what with it being such a lovely looking ring and everything LOL.
That wireless mouse you see in the background is another of my gifts. We were at a popular stationery / school supply store on Friday and I mentioned needing to pick up my planner for 2021. (I get one from there every year.)
At the same time he remembered that I was looking for a wireless mouse, so off we went to hunt for mice and I selected this one. And then because he keeps eating up my thumb drives (I'll pass him a drive and never get it back... don't ask me why) we also picked up a 64Gb thumb for me. And one for himself. Then we merrily made our way to the cashier and he settled up everything, including the planner I had originally gone in to buy.
And so that's part of my Christmas loot sorted. I wonder if there's more to come... OH, and remember how I said after giving him and the mum early presents that I'd probably end up getting MORE so they would have something to open come Christmas day? Well, I did. I'll show you the thing I got for BIKSS after he opens it! (Mum is getting a bottle of rose 5% essential oil.)
(He still hasn't reimbursed me for that ring btw....LOL)
He had been looking forward to it for so long. But when Friday finally came round he got distracted with playing with my girly bits and then we had our rompy fun and THEN when it was time to get out of the house to run errands he remembered! LOL.
No matter, it was still a fun Friday afternoon. We ended up having a bun-less burger and garden salad on the side for dinner. Cos the restaurant we booked wouldn't let us in! I've since written a letter to the people who host the reservation app and they very kindly responded informing us that they've since spoken to the restaurant in question and have updated their reservation slots so that it won't happen again. Meanwhile, they gave us a $10 voucher to use on our next meal (anywhere, not necessarily at the offending restaurant).
I think that's pretty decent service recovery. The fact that they reached out to the establishment, found out what was wrong and how they could fix it, and then updated me about it.
I know plenty of places where they're just likely to say thank you for the feedback and then you never hear from them again.
Moving on, here are some pics of recent meals.
A grilled tomyum flavoured barracuda with soft shell crab caesar salad - both were rather interesting. Unusual but still very delicious.
And a slice of the stuffed chicken breast we had on Wednesday night. I didn't think it was as tasty as it looked. And the skin of the chicken was way too salty for my liking. The mash potatoes it sat on were divine tho!
This was also the night that we took BIKSS' glucose readings 1.5hrs and 2 hrs post meal. 5.7 and 4.8 respectively. He rewarded himself with a slice of fruit cake I had baked for him :)
Things are looking up. I finished paying a 10k debt in early December and have decided that I shall put away some money each month towards savings. Mum's eye issue has also been resolved.
We're going to deal with a hearing aid for her after the new year, and for now I'm happy to just concentrate on spending time baking.
There's a little get together happening here on the 27th, with 4, maybe 5 guests, which is the number of visitors each household is "allowed" by the government. Mum is looking forward to that and has started fussing about what she'll cook as her contribution to the potluck.
One of my cousins brought a home-made chocolate log cake over for us yesterday, and while his wife can't bake to save her life (the last time she made sugee cakes and gave one to us, me and mum each took a bite out of a slice and promptly spat it out - it was that bad - then I chucked the whole thing in the bin), this time it was his daughter who baked the cake.
It's actually pretty delicious and I texted him to tell him so, and to pass our compliments to his kid. Hopefully his wife will hang up her spatula and leave the baking to her daughter from now on.
I wasn't intending on baking any fruit cakes this year, but as I had time and the mood for it, I did, in the end. I made a batch last weekend, and another today. These ones are still sitting on the cooling rack right now.
I have also begun ripping the second half of my CD collection - all the classical stuff. I really should listen to them more. Hopefully I will, now that they're on my lappy.
And with that, I shall sign off and get back to it.
Will post an update soon on my Christmas presents!
Mum has gone to her audiologist in the hospital and been told that she needs to buy a pair of hearing aids as they don't sell them in singles. That's like a 3k investment.
The private clinics DO sell them individually. And her ENT doc did say that if she feels there is more benefit from having it fitted in one ear vs the other, then it's ok to just wear one.
According to their classification table - mild / moderate / severe - there is severe loss in her right ear, and moderate loss in her left. Meaning to say she may be better served by getting fitted for a hearing aid in her left ear cos the right one may be a lost cause.
Perhaps we shall look into that, as the cost of the device is the same whether it's done at the hospital or with a private clinic.
She has also recently gone for a follow-up checkup for her glaucoma and the pressure in her eye has come back down to normal. In fact, it's on the low end of normal, so the doctor is confident that she's well again, and we can stop all her eye drops. Hurray!
It's confirmed. I'm in my perimenopause phase. The doctors (yes, plural, I'm lucky that way) decided that I should do some labs during day 2-5 of my cycle, which I did (yesterday), to test for FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) and LH (luteinising hormone) levels during my early follicular phase. As we suspected, my levels are elevated which indicate a likelihood that my ovaries are about to shut down forevaaaah.
FSH - 20.3 / LH 15.5 - consistent with post-menopausal ranges... or at least getting there. This chart may be a little bit too conservative in its range, but even with the slightly more 'generous' values given by the lab we use - the normal reading for FSH and LH is below 12.5 and 12.6 respectively - my numbers are still elevated.
This was only relevant because they feel I'm a little bit on the young side to be perimenopausal - unusual, but not abnormal - and because my symptoms aren't very typical : no night sweats and hot flushes for me. Instead, I'm getting breathing problems, palpitations, extreme sleepiness (I slept at 930 last night - my usual bedtime is closer to midnight or even past it), disturbed sleep NOT due to night sweats... my eyes just pop open at all hours of the night, accompanied by a very foggy brain, but I do manage to go back to sleep.
The symptoms came in turns. For a few days it was the palpitations. Then that went away. Then I had a week of waking up in the middle of the night. Then that went away. The extreme sleepiness is intermittent. I also had some paresthesia (skin feels hypersensitive to touch) on various limbs in turn for about 3-4 days.
It's all very unnerving. And the docs weren't 100% certain these were all related to the big M as each symptom COULD be a sign of something else entirely.
This blood test has now given them (and me) some reassurance that it really is just the big M coming to get me. And that all those symptoms aren't likely to be anything more serious, since supporting tests show that my other readings are well within normal range (sugar, pressure, lipids, thyroid function etc.).
If you want to read more about all the (common and less common) perimenopausal symptoms, have a look at these:
My boss heard about how I enjoyed the tiny little cafe that another doctor recommended and not to be outdone he offered up a suggestion of a quaint Cantonese restaurant in a place that's not very fancy. In fact the restaurant is in a low/moderate income housing area, and has been there for about 60 years now. I've never heard of it.
BIKSS says he was impressed. And he isn't easily impressed by Chinese restaurants.
We got this for a couple of bucks more than than the meal we had at the tiny cafe. AKA totally more value for money!
This time we had a whole fried barramundi. In typical Chinese restaurant style, they bring it to your table and cut/break it up in front of you.
Because fish typically takes a while to get to the table, we had other food while waiting - an egg fuyong omelette with bits of char siew (sweetened BBQ pork) prawns and onions...
And sambal kang-kong - an old familiar favourite that can be found in almost ANY local food stall.
Was it good? Yes.
Did the evening go splendidly? NO.
There was a slight hiccup - we had to rush home pretty quickly cos the caregiver forgot her house keys. So they were locked out and luckily my sister was with them this time (if it was just mum and the c.g. I think they might have been a bit panicked!), so they sat on the stairs outside the apartment and waited the half hour for us to get home!
After that we did manage to salvage the evening with some good old fashioned nipple-pinching, cock-sucking, chin-grabbing hot and heavy sex!
It's in an area called "Swan Lake" which is nought but bungalows and semi-d's. No apartment buildings there. Ok, maybe some terrace houses.
This equals RICH PEOPLE land.
The food was good, if pricey.
Brussels sprouts with onions and carrots and I *think* pumpkin. Delicious!
Grilled seasonal vegetables with some sort of dried shrimp chilli paste. Also YUMMY. It had a very distinct 'charred' flavour to it.
And Thai style green chilli relish baked barramundi. When it arrived at our table BIKSS looked at it and said "Now where's the rest of it?" LOL. It was a little tinier than we expected, but very delicious.
All in all a satisfying dinner, but not a place I would go to regularly because it's way too expensive for a regular weekday dinner. It was about USD$40 which is roughly 30% more than we would pay elsewhere. But given that these are not flavours I've seen anywhere else, well, I suppose that explains the hefty price tag.
It has been a very quick year. Being stuck at home with Covid restrictions and having the same routine day in day out has made time seem to pass by with more rather than less speed. Strange. I would have thought it the other way around.
I've declared today a celebration day. Of his life. His laughter. His jokes (bad dad jokes, yes!) and penchant for food.
In many of the photos I shared on my fb wall today he was either laughing or displaying some expression of satisfaction from having eaten a good meal.
In fact, the photo we used for his obit was a cropped one of him giving a huge thumbs up, sporting a wide grin, with his favourite dish in front of him!
Today is also the day I chose to put up the Christmas things. It's like we hit 'pause' when he died, and erased Christmas from our household / family last year. We didn't celebrate the new year. Or Chinese New Year. I didn't bake. We didn't visit relatives.
But the time has come to UN-pause now. And move forward with Christmas. Only from now on, he'll be celebrating it with us in our hearts, and not around the dinner table.
(Hope - my pre-Christmas gift from mum last year.)
No not THAT BJ. The makeup brand. Perhaps BoJ is a better acronym. LOL.
I recently picked up a ginseng / snail mucin serum from the brand Beauty of Joseon...
and while I haven't opened it up yet, I did try the cleansing balm sample that came with it.
HOLY SMOKE it felt SO luxurious! I'm totally going to purchase a tub once my cleansing oil runs out! (Which will be a while yet, cos I have two bottles more of the stuff - gotten when it was on a one-for-one promo!)
But seriously, if you're looking for a cleansing balm, THIS is the one I recommend.
Hopefully it won't be a major issue - but the mum had a fall this morning. The caregiver was doing the dishes and mama decided she would be independent and looked in the fridge or drawer or something for some salt. She still insists on cooking even tho we've told her not to.
But on the other hand, I figured if she got to cook once in a while she might retain some sense of autonomy. THAT went well.
(My caregiver informed me of the fall when I was at work, and when I rang her up straightaway mum got on the fone to let me know she was fine. I asked her to pass the fone back to my c.g. so I could tell her to put an ice pack on her head, but she very happily informed me that she'd already done that. I'm so lucky to have her!)
So far no dizziness, no vomiting or nausea, and all she has to show for it now is a bruise on her forehead where she bumped into the side of the fridge. But otherwise she's fine.
I asked her to double up numbers from 2, 4, 8 etc... and she managed to get up to 5 digits. I think that's pretty darn good. When we got to 2048 she needed to look at the numbers on my screen but then she managed to count out the next one in her head right enough.
Her gait is fine, her balance seems intact.
I'm asking please for positive vibes... it's been a bit of a hellish two weeks already... I really could do with some good luck right about now.
