I Don't Want To Play Anymore

BIKSS had an office thing and so he was in a suit. YUM! Not a common getup cos it's too warm where I live. 

So he decided to capitalize on it and had me anticipating the evening's session all afternoon. I got out some rope, as he requested, so that when we got home after picking me up it would be ready and accessible. 

He made a request for me to wear an office skirt and a top with buttons down the front, and eventually we decided I would put on the exact outfit I was wearing the night I passed out and he rescued me and took me safely home. 

So everything was fine up to the point I cried. 

Let's see, he brought in a dining room chair and had me sit on it, still dressed, and then he put a blindfold on me. I'm fine with that. I like being blindfolded. It quietens and comforts me.

Next he had a bit in my mouth. But later on abandoned that idea, I'm not entirely sure why. Perhaps because his intended role-play scenario required me to actually talk. 

Speaking of, I had NO idea there was going to be any role-playing going on. Perhaps I might have been able to talk him out of it if I knew in advance, or we might have had a chance to discuss a scenario we were both (read: * I *) comfortable with. 

Anyway, after this he proceeded to tie my hands together behind the back of the chair and then used the same length of string to tie my feet one to each chair leg. 

Still fine. Restraints aren't a problem for me. I relish the helplessness somewhat. 

And then he started interrogating me. I was confused. I was thrown off. I had NO idea we were doing this. It took me by surprise and then after a moment I figured it was a role-play thing. Ah. Ok, I could do this. I got into it a little, being all sassy and giving him lip and it was kinda fun for a little while. 

The physical aspects didn't present a problem to me at all. He had pegs on my nipples, he spanked the top of my breasts with the spatula, having pulled my blouse straps and bra down my shoulders to expose them first of course... 

He had my skirt pushed up high so that he could rub my clit and stick a vibrator between my legs... all still good. 

And then he removed the blindfold and had me open my eyes. 

And that's when it all went to hell. I looked straight ahead and saw him there, looking fine in his suit. The man I love who would do all he could to keep me safe. And here he was looking back at me. I shut my eyes. There was NO emotion going thru me. I was feeling the physical sensations, the stimuli was overpowering. 

Yet when he had me open my eyes again, I said no. He commanded it tho - and eventually I did. That's when I couldn't hold back anymore. 

I looked straight at him, said "I don't wanna play anymore" then shut my eyes and kept repeating it till I broke down and cried on the 3rd or 4th reiteration. Ok, more like wailed. 

I must have alarmed him, but I couldn't control it. The sobs came, big heaving ones, and he came straight in front of me, removed the vibe and cradled my head in his hands. 

I remember soft words. I remember the smell of his cologne. I remember him kissing the top of my head. And when I was a little calmer, he moved his hands to the pegs on my nipples and asked if I was ready. I nodded and he removed them, then massaged the pain away before holding me some more. 

After I had calmed down even more, he gently leaned over to one side to speak quietly into my ear, telling me he was going to remove the rope. I nodded and he proceeded to release the knots. He motioned for me to get on the bed but it turned out that I slunk off the chair and into a kneel and draped my upper body in his lap where he was, by now, sitting on the bed.

And I cried and I wept and I did all the things associated with leaking tears a person could do. 

He eventually positioned me on the bed so that we were laying down side by side, and he cuddled me till I stopped. 

We talked later, after I knocked back a shot of whisky, and if I'm to be completely honest about it, I think the thing I wasn't comfortable with was the role he assumed in the scenario. He was mean and yucky and perhaps opening my eyes to visually capture the image of my hero with this nasty persona wasn't something I could meld together in my mind. 

Also, if I was tied up and told to do something by my captor, I would weigh the options and decide for myself if it was in my best interest to comply. This is NOT the case when your "captor" is also your Dom. Heck, I'm programmed to obey him. Talk about mindfuck. So to be really true to the scene I would have just chosen to keep my eyes shut and be totally uncooperative. Which would have f*cked up the whole scenario at some point. Not exactly something I wanted to happen. See my dilemma?

So anyway, I asked BIKSS if this meant that I didn't trust him. After ascertaining that there was no fear during the whole episode, and that it wasn't because I saw Dark Wing Dom again, he decided that it wasn't an issue of trust. Instead, he reckons it was just one of those things that I can't handle because it brings to the forefront how exposed I am - and that when I have my eyes shut I can't see anyone looking at me. But once I had them open I became extremely aware of someone else looking at me in my predicament and that's just about as far as I can go with the whole being put in the spotlight thing. 

I don't exactly quite get it myself, or why whatever happened happened... so I'm asking BIKSS to share his POV:

I don’t get to wear suits very often so the event I was attending last night gave me the opportunity to play out an interrogation scenario that I thought would be fun.

Fondles wore an outfit in accordance with my earlier instructions and designed such that I would find easy access to her tender bits.  

I intentionally kept her in the dark about the scenario so she would have to improvise. Looking back there had been, I’ll admit, some question as to how she would react to the scene, although the actual reaction wasn’t one I expected. 

One of Fondles’ difficulties is looking at me while she is in a compromising position. Having her open her eyes, I thought, would fit into the whole interrogation scenario; nasty man forcing her to look at him while she was in a position of vulnerability. I wasn’t prepared for what happened. 

The change from sassy captive to crying sub happened in a flash. Before I knew it she had broken down and was in tears. The safe-word had not been uttered but at that moment it was the furthest thing from my mind. Fondles was breaking down and I needed to get her off that chair and into my arms.    

The first thought that ran through my mind as I held her in my arms was that I’d overstepped the line separating the acceptable and the unacceptable, and somehow gone into Dark Wing Dom mode, something I’d said I would never do again.  She said, thankfully, that that wasn’t so. 

We discussed it and the only conclusion I could come up with was that there remains in Fondles a “failsafe” that serves to protect her regardless of the level of security in existence. Much like a sprinkler system in a factory it’s there acting as a safety device, it is there watching for moments when saving is required, keeping quiet when there is no need. 

Last night’s scene was one such moment. The man she had come to care for was standing in front of her - but the words that were coming out of his mouth were rough demands for her to open her eyes. The contradiction that she was forced to look at aggravated her discomfort to the point the fail-safe was activated. 

She has been in vulnerable positions in front of me before, and while it may be uncomfortable, she will do it because I tell her to. I believe this time the clash of what she heard, what she saw and what she felt because of what she had to do was just too much. So much so that she didn’t even have the wherewithal to utter her safe-word.  

That said, scenarios like this are not something we will be exploring again anytime soon, if ever. 

Follow Friday /Saturday June 28/29

OK so it's Saturday for me, but it's still Friday for some of you, so I'm hoping I can get away with this today! 

Two new people to read: 

Here's another dominant point of view, take a look at Sirshy's blog.

[edit: it's the 2nd of July and I went looking for Sirshy73's blog but it's been taken down... or something... I wonder what happened...]

And for those of you who want to read more about the CDD issue, beware, A writes about why she doesn't agree with the label, but is happy and proud to submit to her husband : A Loves Z again. Thank you Tess for pointing us to her blog.

Happy reading! 

Don't Blame it on CDD

this is more our style

I'm late coming to this party but I've recently gone and Googled the article that had everyone in a tizzy and I think it's just unfortunate that it was presented this way. 

First of all, I'm going to say personally I'm not a fan of CDD. I don't consider what I do DD in the least. 

I WILL say, however, that I submit to my partner. In that respect we are the same, and I feel the impact of the article too, albeit to a lesser extent.

Perhaps punishment and discipline are not things I respond too. However, no two people are alike. And what might work for one may not be suitable for another. 

Which is exactly why I'm annoyed that the article seemed to imply that CDD is a front for abuse with a generalisation like:

"Dig deeper, though, and you’ll find women who seem to want out. They describe being scared and in physical and emotional pain. The responses range from suggestions to submit more fully and try harder to leaving the relationship."

If you dig deeper into ANYTHING you'll find people or participants or involved victims who want out. The question is, why did these women agree to such a lifestyle? Why did they agree to be abused - if that is what they feel it is? And why didn't they go to their significant others and talk through their concerns? 

If they did, and their husbands were being j*ck*asses, then they're right to call it abuse and walk out - but don't say it's CDD - it's CDD gone wrong is what it is. 

But ANYTHING has the potential to go wrong. Learning an instrument (or any other thing that can be learnt) can be taken too far and could go wrong. We see parenting going wrong all around us. Dieting goes wrong all the time. 

So we should ban the learning of all things - playing a musical instrument, ballet, karate ... don't parent your kids lest you damage them psychologically, and surely, you canNOT diet ever!

I champion the relationship I have. I applaud the relationships YOU have - whatever it is you do, as long as it is done lovingly and with a united goal. 

If it's good enough for Ralph Lauren...

For the record, spanking turns me on. It also re-centers me. It reminds me he's the boss. It shows me he cares and is bothered to take time out from slouching on the couch to warm my bottom. It takes effort and time and trouble and I'm reminded every time that I'm worth that effort and time and trouble. It reinforces my commitment to letting him take care of me. It seals my willingness to let him lead. It tells him I am his and that I trust him wholeheartedly. It reminds him I am precious to him and I am important. It shows him I am willing to be open and vulnerable to him, and consequently reminds him that he can trust me too - that he can share his thoughts without fear that I might judge. 

Do I submit to him? Yes. But just because there is no punishment / discipline in our dynamic doesn't make our type of relationship any LESS susceptible to abuse. It just so happens we solve our problems in a different way. BIKSS may not be my HoH, and I may not be TiH, but he is Head of Relationship - OUR relationship. It doesn't mean I have no voice. 

Which brings me to THIS particular quote:

"And do men have any of these defects? Who is there to correct them? “He’s not perfect,” Vera says, “but it’s not my role to point that out. He self corrects.” "

I'm not sure that's entirely correct. Are there any DD couples who read here who could clarify this for me? My understanding is that while wives don't go about "correcting" their husbands' behaviour, it is quite entirely possible for her to call him on something if it bothered her, especially 1) if it was dangerous to him or the family, 2) if she felt it might have a negative impact on the home, 3) if she needed clarification and more information to understand his motives for doing /saying something, and 4) perhaps most importantly, if it upset her no matter how little, even if she didn't quite know why - so that she can work through her feelings, emotions, thought processes.

In my opinion a truly harmonious relationship is one where there is no fear and both parties keep an open channel of communication. And I think it is also important that the HoH remembers that he is not infallible and there is nothing diminishing in apologising if he HAS been called out on something. 

BIKSS has apologised numerous times. It doesn't "lower" him in my eyes. On the contrary, it sends me a clear message that he can be trusted to be honest and open when discussing an issue; that he is ready and willing to stand up and admit it when he's made a mistake. 

So I don't agree that it's not the woman's place to point out any errors - how is someone to self-correct if he doesn't realise it's wrong... because if he knew it was wrong he wouldn't have done it, and if he did it, one can assume he thought it was acceptable. DUH!

The key, I think, is that just as a husband should never point out an infraction in a way that puts his wife down, a wife should never gloat if she feels her husband has made a mistake.  Instead, sitting down to a calm discussion of the action/behaviour in question shouldn't "threaten" the HoH's authority or feeling of leadership... just as being told she's made a mistake shouldn't threaten a wife's sense of self-worth and cause her to question her own capability. 

If I understand it correctly, CDD, DD, TTWD, D/s all share this one common goal - nurturing healthy communication and forging trust, while at the same time increasing one's sense of self-worth as well as pride in each other. 

Where is the abuse in that?

Snippets - Excuse Me Please, My Mind's a Little Hazy

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House Arrest

There is a haze situation in my region that is escalating to really high, almost hazardous levels. 

The govt hasn't issued a stop-work order, but most of the fast food companies have stopped delivery services due to the unhealthy air.

A number of companies have also told their staff to remain at home today and declared shutdown till further notice. 

Last night, when BIKSS came by to deliver buffalo wings and use me for his pleasure (and you KNOW I mean that in a good way!) he declared that I'm to stay indoors except when absolutely necessary. Even then I'm to be as quick as possible getting from one place to another. 

I've decreed that I shall travel everywhere by cab and I'm not going to stand at the curb and hail one either. It's going to be telephone bookings door-to-door until the air is breathable again. 

BIKSS seems satisfied with that. 

I guess this means I'll be spending more, and buying food from the more expensive (indoor) store at the mall where I work instead of plodding over to the cheap (outdoor) grocer's near my apartment. 

This is NOT fun at all!

Leaving His Mark

Literally.

You know how I used to say I don't colour easily? Well, I don't. So that took some hard swatting!

I think he was making up for the 8 day absence.

OUCH.

Could It Be?

...That because there are going to be instances where I cannot be included in his plans, it becomes easier for me not to get upset at being excluded? 

It just occurred to me that some of the reasons why I used to have major fights with my other half is that they'd go off with this or that friend (or group of friends) and not include me. 

Especially when they expect that I will include them when I meet up with MY friends. 

*OK, so that's problem number one... double standards*

So I don't mind including them when I meet my gang, and sometimes they choose not to come along. Which is their choice. From what I gather, they want the option, at least. 

But when the tables are turned I'm not afforded the same courtesy. They feel that so-and-so may feel threatened by my presence (so I'm a strong, rather b*tchy sort but I can play nice, honest!!) and so it would be better if I didn't come along. Or some other stupid reason that makes no sense to me... 

*I'm automatically excluding all Boys' Night and Girls' Night scenarios here... altho the lines get a bit fuzzy when I have girl friends who are lesbians and boy friends who are gay. But let's not go there.*

So in the end I find myself feeling sidelined, dismissed, or as if they were ashamed to be seen with me. Which probably explains why I started becoming more and more insecure. The other side of this coin is that I start getting suspicious - if there's nothing to hide, or if they are "just friends" as they say, then what's the harm in my being present? 

My personal view of being in a legitimate relationship (let's ignore my illicit affair here) is that somewhere down the road we'll think about getting married and starting a family etc. And there's no time like the present to introduce me to your nearest and dearest so that we can start getting to know each other better right? After all if I'm going to be your life partner, and they're your best friends, don't you think we should learn to like each other as quickly as possible? 

And now this has got me wondering what it would be like to be involved in a regular-type relationship with BIKSS, where we didn't have to hide being together. I wonder how he would handle going out - if he'd bring me along, if he'd make me feel secure about the times that he didn't think I should come with... 

For the moment tho, I suppose there is some relief knowing that this is one problematic (in my experience) area that I won't have to deal with.

Spanked Good and Proper

Now usually our spankings end up being the erotic type. He spanks me, I get wet, then he enters me, and claims my pussy.

The one he gave me last night was a little different. We were petting ( I know! Who uses that word anymore?) in bed and cooling off under the fan (yes, the A/C was on too!) and one thing led to another and soon he was ready to enter me. And I was more than needy too. 

We'd been talking about submissives - the difference between having a naturally acquiescent girl and a strong-willed, independent one, and what the pros and cons of each type were. This kind of talk always, ALWAYS gets us going and soon he was also holding me around my neck, kissing me senseless, pulling my head upwards to face him and all them other things that we subs love to have done to us. 

Soon enough BIKSS found himself at a crossroads. "Should I spank you or fuck you?"

"Whatever you wish," was my clever reply. I would have enjoyed either. 

"Hmmm, how about both?!"

He turned me over onto my front, made some unnecessary comment about how wet I was (well, my Master, you WERE doing all those things that you KNOW make me wet!) and then entered me. And he fucked and he spanked and he fucked and he spanked and I didn't know which way was up and what was what. 

I began wriggling my ass and squeezing my pussy tight around him - until I got chided. "Don't move," he commanded. Oh but that was so, so hard to do - to keep still while his cock throbbed inside me!

Madness. It was madness. He was driving me insane. 

Then there was more spanking and more fucking. And I zoned out a little, I must say. 

He finally exhaled an expletive and erupted inside me. It felt like my insides were exploding.

Oh, perhaps I should tell you, I was wearing my spanking panty... smart-ass that I was. I wanted to present him with something yummy before he left for his business trip. That'll teach me eh? He definitely enjoyed it tho.

Well, after that, we lay down and chatted and cuddled for a little while and then I kissed Roger and woke him up again! BIKSS reached out and started smacking me... to remind me that it would be a while before I saw him again, so he wanted to make sure I remembered that I belong to him. I offered to turn and lie perpendicularly over his tummy, and he went at it on one side of my butt. Just one cheek. The smacks came, fast and painful and it was all I could do not to scuttle off the bed entirely. I wonder, sometimes, if these Tops know how much willpower it takes to remain in position!! 

Anyway he proclaimed that he was done, and I was to turn and face the other way for him to go to work on the other cheek. *GROAN* it was SO difficult to do. Knowing that I was going to be facing the same thing on the other side, I think I might have taken my time getting into position. But BIKSS wasn't too worried about that, knowing full well that I would obey eventually - read: as fast as my brain could work out that I'd better get to it as quickly as I could.  

(Not quite like in the pic, as he was reclining more than sitting, but you get the idea.)

I'm sure I've used this pic before... It just speaks to me!

Over him I went, again, this time wincing before he even started. I held my breath at some points, made faces into the bed, and panted through my spanking. 

Now usually our spankings aren't quite so separated from the sex, it usually just leads one to another. But when he started playing with my pussy, by now soaking wet again, I had to ask. Normally I don't. But I had to, this time. "Is my spanking over?" 

He smiled and said Yes. I scrambled off him in a flash. Somehow getting out of spanking position also seems to make my bum hurt less. Either that or it's knowing that there's less chance of more pain being slapped on - pun TOTALLY intended. 

Anyway, after twiddling with my bits a little he asked me if I wanted to be fucked again. 

The correct answer - "I always want you to fuck me."

He approved of my response and proceeded to do just that. Shifting me onto my back he climbed over me and held my legs open, up high, and pounded into my pussy, already sore from the previous round BTW, and this time, he came outside, on my belly - owing to my having a doctor's appointment today and not wanting to have Roger juice oozing out of me at the clinic.

He didn't seem to mind at all, tho, that I had a nicely reddened bum. But then, that's probably because he knows I don't seem to hold on to my spanking marks too long, and they'd be long gone by the following day. He was right too. I can feel the soreness on my cheeks, but any visible evidence of having been spanked yesterday is long gone. 

I asked him, after, why he spanked me so hard this time - his answer was a nonchalant "Because it's going to have to last you for a week."

(I note here, that there are occasions I don't get spanked at all, which means from one spanking to another it's also about a week, sometimes longer. But it's not like that makes him feel inclined to spank me harder to make up for the longer span between spanks. Hrmph. Excuses, excuses!) 

And so I sit, having been spanked good and proper on the eve of his departure - the pain of his loving hand lingering on until I see him again a week from now. 

[Also, guess who very cleverly said this morning over IM that she might enjoy nipple-training... and BIKSS replied that we'll have a look at some clamps on Monday when he gets back (along with my collection of rope that I just happen to have in my store room for around-the-house use). Gulp. I should stop telling him things when I'm still half asleep and semi-horny during my just-woken-up stupor. Now I'm not so sure that was the smartest thing to say... I DO love the idea of it tho... and it looks so beautiful! He also wants to look at some ass-suitable dildos, and apparently already has something in mind. Looks like we'll be shopping for new toys soon. *Er, hurray...?*]

Some Things Get Easier

BIKSS is leaving tomorrow for a work trip and he comes back on Thursday night. For 10 hours we'll be in the same country then on Fri early morning I leave for a family weekend and come back on Monday. 

This means we won't see each other for a week, at least till next Monday - but that's all subject to my arrival time, of course. 

I actually don't feel very sad this time round. I know he's going to be keeping in touch, and I know we'll have technology to help with that. I look back at the first trip he took after we hooked up and remember how I felt so abandoned and insecure about the whole thing. 

And I'm glad I don't feel that way anymore. The insecurity is diminishing. And that's led to my being less inclined to fly off the handle these days too. 

A couple of nights ago we talked about perfect submission, and this is what he said to me. I'm sharing it with you lot, and I hope he doesn't mind, but it's just so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes. And it would be a pity not to immortalise it on my blog - THIS blog - where I've documented almost every step of our journey... 

Your submission comes from consistent attempts to be the perfect sub, to be mine.

From my knowing that you think of me when you do.

When you trust me to say and do the right thing.

But there is no perfect, only constant search for what we think is perfection.

It's a journey, my sweet, one I gladly take with you. 

He Makes Me

He makes me sit beside him,
He lets me kiss his hand,
He nudges me so I lean forward,
And positions my hands together behind me.

He binds my wrists with his belt,
Instructs me to stand before him.
He makes quick work of tucking the hem of my blouse
Up into the neck-line so my breasts are exposed.

Kneel, he says
I do.
You know what to do...
I do.

I press my face against his shorts, I inhale his scent.

And then he frees his cock, but I'm not allowed him yet.

Instead he exposes the underside to my view,
I am presented with his sac.
Greedily I lap at his balls,
My tongue dancing over the sensitive skin,
Making patterns over the ridged surface of his ballsac.

Do you want to suck on him?
Yes, I say, looking up.

I am rewarded with his cock for a few moments,
Then my mouth is empty again.
He prompts me to resume my ministrations on the pair below,
So often lacking attention,
Overlooked for his grand member.

He masturbates himself as I draw circles with my tongue,
Paying special attention to that spot he seems to love.

And when I look up at him once more,
He pushes his cock again into my mouth.
Grabbing his handhold, the bun I've done my hair up in,
He bobs my head over his erection and watches.

Watches me catch my breath.
Watches my lips wrapped around his cock.
Watches himself grow bigger, harder, almost to bursting.
Watches my face as he pinches my nipples with his other hand...

And then he asks if I'm ready.

Rhetorical.

I'm always ready.

Not that it matters.

He cums.

And I thank him.

And I rest my head on his thigh.

And I look in his eyes and smile.

Follow Friday June 7th 2013

I must have my head in the clouds.. or in the back of my storeroom... cos somehow I've managed to miss Sarah's blog, Clear as Mud. The title made me giggle... go take a look :)

It's Still Hard For Me...

- to be honest about how submitting to you fills me with pride

- to say thank you for exercising your dominance

- to explain why I crave your sweet torture

- to let you know how grateful I am when you do with/to me all that you do 

- to let myself revel in the joy I feel when you claim me as yours

I thought it would get easier with time. But if I am to be honest, it hasn't, not much.

The one thing that HAS changed, tho, is that even though it's still hard for me to say the things that make me feel vulnerable, I know that I can say them to you because I am safe.

You make me feel safe. 

And of all the things I could thank you for, I thank you for that the most. 

Date Night and a Spanking Part II

(...continued from the previous post...)

So I heard him open the drawer again and I didn't know what else he might have taken out of it. He had already unloaded quite a number of the spanking toys, so I assumed he was reaching for some sex toys now. You know, vibe, lube, that sort of thing. 

I wasn't wrong. I felt the tip of the smaller arm of my double dildo poking about my backhole. Ahhhh and now I knew. Ok. Back on track. I could relax again cos I knew what to expect : Roger in the front, dildo in the back... oh, I just couldn't wait for a double penetration fuck session. 

I never got it. 

BIKSS was fucking me with the dildo alright... .but as I impatiently waited for his cock to enter my pussy as well, I was given my vibrator. I applied it to my clit and began to feel the sensations rise. It was not a usual position for me, so it took some time, but that just afforded him more time to enjoy himself with my back hole.

I thought he would wait for me to cum before fucking my pussy, but while I was busying myself with the vibe and concentrating on cumming, he removed the dildo and applied some more lube to my ass, and then he fucked me there instead. 

I took a while, but after I came he praised me and said it was his turn. And, oh, I didn't mind one bit that my pussy didn't get what she wanted - as he  pumped his cum into my ass  it felt no different from when he's cumming in my pussy. 

The bottom line is that Roger was pulsing inside me and I was being filled by him - and I guess it doesn't matter which hole it happened in. Mission accomplished.

(P.S. Pussy did get her fill of Roger later that night!)

Date Night and a Spanking Part I

After the movie we got into the car to drive home. It was assessment week in school, and listening to and grading all those candidates was taking its toll on me. I was in desperate need of some submission. 

BIKSS knew this, because we had been discussing Mistress Erica's suggestion that I be given a GG spanking and while he was painting me a picture of what he had in mind, I mentioned that I was looking forward to it - it had been a particularly tiring day. 

"Are you coming up?" I asked him. It was past midnight and I didn't want the evening to be over, but I didn't want him to overextend himself either.

"Yes, I have to give my little girl her good girl spanking."

On the drive home he put his arm around me and wound his hand in my hair. Pulling me to him he kissed me. After we pulled apart he gave me instructions for later.  

He dropped me off so I could start my preparations, and he went to park the car.

I unloaded my bag and headed straight for the shower. Anticipating the events to follow I washed as quickly as I could. When I emerged from the bathroom BIKSS was already nicely seated on the couch, waiting for me to finish getting ready. 

"Do you remember what you're supposed to do?"

I said Yes and went into the room. I put my hair in a ponytail, dug around for my spanking chemise and reached into the drawer for an implement of my choice - hmm... the Christmas Paddle then.  One more thing, the clit clip. He wanted the one with the dangles. I put that on, got on the bed and into position, with the paddle next to me. And waited, presenting. 

I could feel myself getting wet. Oh, the anticipation...

I heard him enter. He had a shower while I was readying myself for him. Then I felt him standing behind me. Head down."

He wound his hand with my ponytail and tugged my head up. I don't know what he said, possibly something affirming. I forget, now. But I knew at the time it felt awesome. I melted into his voice. I was his. I suppose he might have also kissed me. That is his way. And then he was ready to begin. "

What followed was a marvelous spanking. He started with his hands. Sometimes going all out on one cheek, sometimes spreading the joy around by alternating between both sides. Occasionally he would tease me by playing with the dangles on the clip, now hanging down and sending vibrations up to my clit. Beautiful vibrations that kept me simmering not just when he fondled them, but even as they danced around each time a smack landed on my behind. 

Next he moved on to the paddle and there were some really hard spanks in the mix. I found myself gasping more than a few times, but it was delightful and I began to drift away, concentrating only on my breathing and the pain. I was dripping wet (I am told this later) through no doing of mine. 

I heard and then felt the belt, or I should say, belts. I'm not entirely sure what he did with them or how he engineered a two-belt spanking, but it wasn't important. The how and why wasn't my concern. Only submitting to his spanking. 

In between he smacked my pussy a number of times, with a few different implements (I think he pulled out the spatula too, later on) but we've since decided that that kind of pain did nothing for me, nor for him - the clit clip + spanking combination is not a good one. 

Then I felt a nudging at my pussy. It was his finger again... I must have stopped breathing, expecting him to breach the entrance and satisfy my aching pussy's need to be filled. He didn't. Then I heard him reach into the drawer.

(... to be continued....)