Daddy Dom?

BIKSS is the one who'll look at my numbers and tell me how many more page views I've had, or notice who hasn't written a comment in a while, or mention that I have new followers. 

One day I told him that he's like a proud daddy keeping track of my achievements. 

That put him on the Daddy-Dom research train. And last night he showed me something he'd started writing months ago but never finished (mainly cos it ended up lost in the labyrinth of files and folders on his lappy) and chanced upon as he was cleaning out his desktop. 

We ended up talking about it, and what it meant, and in the process of his digging he had found something someone else had written which highlighted some traits of a Daddy-Dom and we found ourselves agreeing with all of them. That is, we found that it reflected OUR dynamic. This is not news to me. I've always known about my daddy issues and I've mentioned to BIKSS a number of times that I DO look to him as a father figure of sorts (but not in an age-play way). 

And he agreed that he sees himself in that role, except for one issue - he has a problem with the terminology. After some probing I found out that he is perfectly fine with the term Daddy-Dom except when he is addressing himself that way. There is NO problem if either of us use the term in reference to him or his role in our relationship, he just cannot call himself that. Or something like that. 

In a way it's much like my use of the term "Master". I can say he is my Master. I can write it too, no issue. In a conversation with him I can say "Does Master want me to ...." (insert whatever it is I'm asking there), but I can't address him as Master. The word just won't come out of my mouth. 

So that aside, I told him that it didn't matter cos I had no intention of addressing him as Daddy (cos that would be weird for us since his kids call him Daddy) and when he does call me his lil girl I think of it as a size / physical reference rather than an age / maturity reference. It is in relation to my calling him Big Man.

But as I was tossing the word around my head in bed this morning, thinking about an alternative which might sit better with him, my mind landed on the Papa train. As in, Daddy = Papa. So Daddy Dom could also be Papa Dom. Which actually sounds like Popadum which is a type of Indian cracker that looks like this :

Which I happen to like, by the way, especially with a delicious mutton or chicken biryani. I told BIKSS and he responded to my joke with "Well, you DO put me in your mouth!" 

Mutton Biryani with Poppadom

Butter Chicken and rice with Poppadom

Chocolate Cake and Wednesday's Dinner

BIKSS is going to be out of town next week. And I don't know what the universe is playing at, but I'm not complainin' cos he's been making lots of time this week for me. 

We even managed to go out for Mojitos yesterday - yes, on a date! I must say I am a little (or a lot) out of practice! One drink and my face was all red and warm, and I was ready to come home and flop into bed! 

So he's bringing me Texas chicken tonight for dinner, and after that we're having chocolate cake with brandy chocolate frosting. Because he asked for a MOIST chocolate cake. How moist it is I won't know till later on. But I'm betting it's not half bad if the scraps are anything to go by.

You know, I used to have a food blog, but it eventually became a chore, having to upkeep it and post regularly etc - so perhaps I'll just satisfy my need to show off on THIS blog instead... if you guys don't mind :) 

100

Well, I've reached a hundred followers! Yay me! 

I sometimes can't believe anyone would want to read my stuff. Last night after dinner BIKSS looked at my blog on his phone and actually burst out laughing. I'm still having trouble believing I can be that amusing. 

But whatever the reason you follow my blog and continue to pop in here and read my stuff, I thank you. I thank you for bothering to listen to me rant. I thank you for all the words of encouragement when I feel like I wanna throw in the towel. I thank you for sulking along with me when things go bad. I thank you for getting excited (sometimes MORE than I am) when good things are about to or have happened. I thank you most of all for not judging and, instead, just BEING. 

In other news, I've decided to make BIKSS my official taster - so any and all variations of layer cake I make will find their way to his tummy. It is part of my evil plan. To fatten him up. Heh. Seriously, tho, he enjoys a good layer cake so he'll be a good person to tell me if a particular flavour works or not. Last night he had some slices of the coffee version I made - and he likes it. I mean, REALLY likes it. Yay me! 

And on the topic of liking my confections, he liked the eclairs too. Next up, he's requesting custard puffs and moist chocolate cake. Hmmm I don't like a dry cake either, but really, does he have to use that word every time he says "chocolate cake"? Maybe he just likes saying the word. *Giggles*

At the end of dinner he proclaimed himself a "well-fed Dom". I couldn't be more pleased with myself.

We slouched on the couch together in a food coma while I finished watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy. Then when it was done he looked down at me where I had my head on his chest and said I should get my ass into the room.

I scuttled off and was in bed in my knickers in no time flat. He didn't even see my shorts come off, he says, and chuckled at how quickly I had gotten out of them! We lost no time in getting down to kissing and touching and before anything he was lying on top of me and we were having giggly, fun, Oh-my-goodness-you're-so-huge sex. 

We had sex three times yesterday evening, and I think I've pretty much abandoned Spanky's Feb CWS challenge. (Thanks Spanky, dear, but I'm going to drop out of the challenge.) Last night would have been Day 10 and it's just TOO difficult to make sure we get in a blowjob. Especially when I'd rather he fuck me silly! 

Speaking of, that dribbly thing happened again yesterday. By round three he had napped and woken up with a raging Roger. He reached across and play with my clit and found the little magic spot that I like so much. I'm twitching and bucking under his finger and he's whispering into my ear that he wants me to get wet for him, so he can rub me and make me feel good, and I'm in denial the whole time, going on about how I'm not wet, and I'm dry, and what was the simile for dry now? Dry as a whistle? A door-post? Of course this is plenty embarrassing for an ex English teacher not to know her similes, but hey, there was a HUGE distraction between my legs and my brain wasn't exactly working properly, if you know what I mean. Eventually he offered "Dry as a dormouse in the Mojave desert". I laughed and giggled and he continued tormenting my clit and in the midst of that I felt myself leaking from my pee hole. Only I'm absolutely certain it's not pee. I wasn't real sure it did happen at that very moment tho, so I ignored it and we ended up having sex again. But after we were done he pointed out the wet spot on my bed and then I knew I hadn't been wrong. 

So we lay there wondering if I squirted (this would be the second time this happened to us) or what was it? And eventually I decided I'd call it dribbling.  Cos that's what it felt like, and then I administered a very stern warning to BIKSS not to make it like a quest or anything and made it clear he was NOT to make that a priority every time we got into bed. It's fun when it happens spontaneously but other than that I think I'd be under way too much pressure to perform. 

my blog essay plan: go in every direction!

Oh now look at me, I've gone on and on and ended up in a completely different place from where I'd intended to go at the beginning. See? This is why I thank you lot for sticking with my posts... cos you have the patience of a saint! 

X-O-X-O I love you all!

(And for the record, it's 'As dry as a bone'. *Grins*)

Monday Musings

It's been a while since I wrote - mostly cos I've been busy with baking more cakes to sell to friends.

Yes, I've decided that I will officially be baking and selling my layer cakes all year round now, and not just during the festive season. 

It'll be a good way to keep me occupied, and I like baking anyway. It's therapeutic. Slapping on layer after mindless layer of batter doesn't require any thinking. I can switch my brain off for an hour or so while I bake, and it's fun thinking up new flavours to add to the basic recipe.

I've finally bought myself a kitchen counter that I have dedicated solely to my baking endeavours. On it I've got my mixer and oven, and everything else bake-related is now happily housed on wire racks under it. BIKSS helped me put it together last Thursday, and of course because he's a man, at some point we had to undo the whole thing and actually look at the instructions and start over. He insists that's half the fun- trying to build something without first reading the manual. I'm not sure I share his point of view. But either way, I'm proud of myself for not making any fuss. As a matter of fact, I felt no stress, didn't feel inclined to say I-told-you-so... I think we're finally beginning to just flow naturally now... almost a year on. 

It seems like the D/s isn't something that's in focus anymore. I'm tempted to say it's not present. But I know that's not true. In fact, it's omnipresent. It's part of who we are. There's no issue of "getting into the right frame of mind" now, and I think that's a good thing. It's subconscious, and we're really enjoying each other in a way I've never experienced before in past relationships. I finally feel, um, calm. Yeah, that's a good word.

And the ONE big thing I've noticed about all this - the less I gripe and bitch and simply allow him to steer us on, the more likely he is to do his darnedest to keep me happy and meet my needs / wants. The key was just to trust that he's thinking and doing what's best for us - BOTH of us, not just himself! 

So what's a sub to do while her man's busy planning and sussing and thinking? 

Why, bake, of course! So in honour of Dom-appreciation day, we're having cottage pie for dinner, and eclairs for dessert. I hope he's hungry!

B for BIKSS

Spankful for Bas Day

Oh gosh! I almost didn't make it! Luckily I remembered just in time!

On this notable day I would like to say Thank You Bas for coming round and leaving comments on my posts, some witty, some poignant, and mostly full of insight! Your words have been encouraging, uplifting, and mean much to us!

I'm glad to have made your blogquaintance, even tho I may not say very much on your blog...

Here's to a wonderful day dedicated just to your awesome-ness!

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Would you like to join Spankful for Bas Day? Grab a logo and put up a post of your own! Then email or comment on Ana's blog to make sure she has the link for the main page.

I'm Just Too Darned Lazy

BIKSS has gone to attend a friend's son's birthday thingy with his family.

That got me thinking - I'm a right bum when it comes to these sorts of commitments. That's why I never got a dog despite how much I love them. It's just too much responsibility. Heck, even a plant is too much responsibility.

The fact of the matter is that I'm a lazy twat. I'd much rather sit home and catch up on my TV shows, read a book at a coffee shop, clean the house (if I'm feeling energetic) or surf the web and switch off my brain for an hour or two. If the weather's good, I can be found beside a pool or at the beach sunning myself.  And before you say that it's only now that I feel this way because age is catching up on me, I'll have you know that these aren't only-in-my-old-age activities. What I've given you is a sampling from as far back as when I was in my late teens. Aside from the items on that list, the rest of the time I'm probably working (or in school). 

So given that I can't be half-arsed to attend any family functions, even the ones thrown by my own extended family, I'm really beginning to appreciate not having kids and/or having to fulfill such obligations as dinners and parties. Don't get me wrong, I love entertaining at home, and hanging out with friends and spending time with my immediate family. But that's about all I can handle - and not too much at one go neither. 

Aside from ONE boyfriend with whom I participated in weekly family dinners and annual celebrations (birthdays, Christmas, new year, Easter, anniversaries etc) on both sides, mine and his, the rest of my relationships have been of the no-familial-obligations type. 

It's only dawning on me NOW that aside from being unhappy and dissatisfied with the reasons I had to be excluded from their family-life (which is a whole different story), the practical aspect of said exclusion didn't bug me at all. It meant more quality time for myself or my pals. 

Perhaps if I had kids things would be different, *I* would be different. And perhaps if I'd had them when I was younger and didn't have to work so I had more time to balance everything else without having to think about earning a living, I might not be so quick to cringe at the idea of having to attend stuff for anyone else's sake. 

I know it sounds selfish, but at this point, I love that I'm obligation-free, mostly. And (wo-)man enough to admit it. 

A Valentine Adventure

*Long post advisory - you have been warned!*

It was a dark and stormy night... well, it is now - I'm finally home... but it wasn't when we woke up in each other's arms in our hotel room this morning. 

The weather was fine, the company was more than fine, and we had no plans for the morning except to roll in bed and spend a few lazy hours together before our flight home.

Eventually (a blow-job and some fucking later) we checked out and went in search of food this bright sunny V day together.

As we walked along I was impressed that so many people were buying roses from this street vendor who was parked in front of an office building - now there's no excuse for not getting a flower for your significant other!

After getting some goodies to take home with us, we ducked into the Italian restaurant that I spotted the night before, and had us a pizza and some baked eggplant for lunch. It was unexpectedly delightful. 

After that we went back to the hotel to collect our things and head to the airport. Just a quick trip to the loo and then we'd be off. I found the hook behind the toilet door amusing and just HAD to take a pic for you.

Ain't it cute?

So we head to the airport nice and early, me enjoying the casual flow of our conversation in the taxi... and when we arrive we go straight to the counter to check-in. We had separate bookings, so I passed her my passport first.

"Madam, your flight is 14 March, not 14 February."

WWWHHHAAATTT?!?!??!?

No FUCKING WAY I could have made a mistake like that when I made my booking. Seriously? Are you kidding me? And the flights are full?

All sorts of panic started rising in me at once. What would I do now? Buy a ticket on another carrier? Ok, that's the only thing I could do right? But are there seats available?

I needed a solution - and fast! 

I think BIKSS saw the first signs of my "losing it" and put on his most calm, reassuring Dom voice as he instructed me to breathe... just breathe... it'll be ok... these things happen... 

Not to me, they don't!! I checked!! Me!! You know how I am about being meticulous about these things!! Argh!! What am I going to do???

I'm quite sure I was shrieking by then. If not, then at the very least I'm certain my voice hit a falsetto pitch 2 octaves higher than I've ever managed. 

He placed a warm hand on my back, as he talked and made a plan. What happened after that was a cycle I don't care to remember in any detail, altho it IS still fresh in my mind. We would get to a counter, ask if they had a flight, be told the flights were all booked, and leave to go ask another carrier. Rinse and repeat. At one stop the fare was just too exorbitant to consider. At another I could at least put my name on the standby list - but I wouldn't know the outcome of that endeavour till after BIKSS' flight had departed - which didn't make me feel any better. One of them offered a suggestion where I could fly out tomorrow morning from a different airport but had to connect thru a neighbouring country and also at a rather crazily high cost. 

I rang my brother-in-law back home. He works at a dedicated travel office for a credit card company, but at least he'd be able to check which carriers had available seats, hopefully saving me some unnecessary walking and time-wasting. Unfortunately he was on the road and wouldn't be able to access his computer for another hour at least. 

Argh... he promised to call back as soon as possible, but in the meantime I had to keep searching. 

BIKSS was awesome. He was in a Dom-mode I'd never seen before. Well, not one I'd like too many opportunities to see, but thankful that it exists. And that I've experienced it first hand. Aside from having to work out a solution in a situation he had no control over, he also had to deal with checking on me regularly - and often - to make sure I wasn't going to have a breakdown. 

Being stranded out there together would have been ok for me to handle. Knowing that he'd be leaving and I'd be stuck (maybe till tomorrow!) on my own, that was some scary shit!!

To cut a long story short, we decided to try my local regional carrier again - the counter had been closed when we first headed there... and thank goodness it was open by now! Even better, when BIKSS asked them if there were any available seats the lady nodded and smiled and calmly asked how many tickets we needed. I have never prayed so many 'thank-you's in my life!

As we were sorting this out, I sent BIKSS back to his own carrier to check in. No point in him standing around when everything seemed to be on its way to getting solved. He had wasted enough time traipsing about with me, and he needed to get home too - so off he went after making sure that I really was fine and could handle being alone for a little while.

Not 5 minutes later he rang me on my cell and said that if I hadn't finished my transaction yet, to wait for him because it seemed he had the same problem with his booking. And apparently so did some other people in the queue with him! 

Hah! It wasn't me after all. There was relief! Oh, so much relief! 

I just knew I couldn't have made such a silly mistake. And a large part of me (aside from feeling panicked) was reeling with guilt at causing BIKSS so much trouble through what I previously assumed was plain carelessness. Finally getting a seat relieved me of my how-am-I-gonna-get-home panic. But finding out that it wasn't my fault filled me with relief that I didn't cause this mess!

We suspect what happened was there was a glitch in the computer system when we made the booking. We had purchased our tickets separately and were online via Skype as we did it, checking flight numbers and details and seat numbers and dates and times repeatedly! I mean, it got to a point where I was almost rolling my eyeballs at how naggy he was becoming, repeating over and over and over again all the details that we had to make sure were matched up to ensure we were booked on the same flights and seated together! There was NO way we could have booked the wrong date and especially not BOTH of us! 

In the end tho, we sprung for Business Class tickets (instead of regular Economy) on our saviour-carrier since the price difference was something like 20 USD and we figured we could do with a stree-free, comfort-filled, larger-seated trip home.  

That's the aerobridge going to the plane- it's empty cos we
were the first ones to board, right up front in  Business Class!

Budget carriers don't  usually serve food, but on
Business Class you get a warm dinner and  Pringles!

The funny (?) thing is that just this morning as we were rolling around in bed I remarked to BIKSS that he'd been so sweet, and I suspect, excited, that we could have this time together (our very first!) to just BE entirely lost in our own relationship without having to worry about being seen, or having to be cautious, that I hadn't seen his Dom very much, and subsequently, I think, my sub was lying dormant too. Oh, that's not to say that I was in control or anything, I mean, after changing money when we arrived at our destination I just handed him all my cash and asked if he would take care of the spending. He kept me safe as we walked along the streets (sometimes past "suspicious" characters) and decided our itinerary most of the way. 

I suppose what I meant was that "kinky Dom" wasn't around as much as the last time I was away with him on business - aside from the ONE blowjob where I was kneeling as he lay back on the edge of the bed, I didn't kneel beside him AT ALL this trip. The plug was forgotten, I literally pulled his belt out of the loops of his jeans and handed it over to him as he lay watching soccer in bed this morning, and in general it just felt sweet and vanilla! 

After the adventure we settled into a fast-food-court and scarfed down some hot dogs with chilli, and soda and ice cream. As our blood pressures and heart beats regained some normalcy, we agreed that, without a doubt, his Dom was always present - just to varying degrees, and depending on the situation. 

The lesson here for me is that sometimes I get so caught up in one aspect of our dynamic I fail to see that there are more subtleties in our D/s relationship than I realise. And if I just took a step back I would have so many things to be grateful for - his guidance, his planning, his taking care of me, his preparedness, his ability to anticipate potential situations and get us through them... but most of all, his physical display of possessiveness -  from holding my hand, to navigating me thru a crowd with his hand on my back; from holding me close in a hug while waiting for a train (or buying a donut), to reaching out to draw me into a cuddle mid-sleep. 

I thanked him often during this holiday, for everything he's done to make it possible, but I want him to know I'm thanking him again now : for letting me be his. 

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Would you like to upgrade to a Business First Class post with a BIKSS add-on? Here's a little note from my sweet, sweet man:~

I’m sure everyone knows Murphy, that wise Irishman who once said that if something could go wrong, it would. I subscribe to his teacher, O’Brien, who said that although Murphy was a good student, maybe even one of his best, he was an eternal optimist. As luck would have it, on our return from our holiday we got confirmation that O’Brien was right and Murphy was, indeed, talking out of his arse.  

Fondles has told the full story and done a much better job at it than I would have ever done so I’ll just say what I thought about her reactions during the whole episode.

Her day was thrown into a tizzy when she found out that there was a problem with the flight arrangements. One never knows how one might react until one experiences a situation that can easily turn a great holiday to an ‘effin disaster. 

She mentioned how shaken she was a few times but she didn’t let despair and/or panic set in. She was able to think clearly while we were trying to solve the matter. She didn’t get angry and in the end we got through it together. I’ll say she did very, very well. I’m really proud of her for not losing her cool.

*There's my "good girl" right there!*

[Heads off to bed all smug-like now...]

Day 3 - Busy Bees

Before I forget, here's a pic of a stall by the side of the road selling 'Cialis' and 'Viagra' etc. On the top right corner you can see some dildos... I apologise it's not a clearer pic. We had to keep moving and take the foto as we went walking by so as not to arouse suspicion in the proprietor who was sitting nearby.

And here's the funky lighted-up rainshower thingy in the hotel bathroom. It's way awesome.

There's also a window looking into the bath area from the bedroom... great for kinky couples! *wink*

And now, on to today's activities -

We found the pool and went for a dip before heading out to lunch - that turtle shaped serving of rice was just so twee.

After lunch we went to a nearby mall because we were too tired to venture out any farther than that. After getting some new slippers (a pair for each of us) we decided to come back to the hotel where we took advantage of happy hour drinks in the hotel bar.

Next it was time to pop into the massage parlour that we saw down the street.. An hour later we emerged renewed and very well-oiled! Thankfully the hotel was nearby so it was back to the room to have a thorough soaping. 

We got dressed for dinner and headed out for what would turn out to be the best meal of this trip so far! Chinese food - authentic and delicious. And cheap to boot!

He's been SO humoring me by letting me take a billion fotos of him.

After dinner we came home by train cos there was a horrid jam, and as we were walking across the overhead bridge, we saw a man on a little platform with wheels winding his way between stopped cars, begging for money.

Now that's not something I see everyday.

[P.S. Thank you all for your comments on the last few posts... I have limited access so I haven't written any replies, but I appreciate all your well-wishes and positive thoughts.]

[P.P.S. I'm lying down here on a red-striped back as I post this because BIKSS decided he wanted to scratch me as we fucked a little while ago... the man just wanted to see how I would react and what it would take to mark me. Evil man.]

Day 2 in the Sex Capital of the World

WE WENT TO SPANKY'S!  And I survived.

But first, here are more picture updates:

Remember the plan to go swim? It didn't happen. We got stuck in bed this morning :-) Instead, we made it out of the hotel this afternoon in time for lunch, then headed out to the shopping mall where the toilet seats were fitted with these high tech gadgets that not only washed your bottoms but you could adjust the temperature of the seat! How awesome is that?!

What? Could it be? Ah... it was part of a larger picture that said I (heart) DD Bear - in front of the Dunkin' Donuts store. Hmmm perhaps they should be the official food of DD couples everywhere.

(I tried to put the big picture up but BIKSS' laptop and Blogger aren't co-operating and I can't get it to rotate properly... I'll do it when I get back home to my lappy.)

[UPDATE: Here's the full picture]

After trawling the "wholesale" mall where you get special discounts for buying at least 2 of anything, we walked into the "market" area across the street - most of the shops were closed for the day (it was about 5pm) but we managed to catch some interesting lingerie stalls.

There were also a number of seamstresses working on what I can only describe as "Vegas Showgirl" -type costumes. They were fancy, sparkly, and some sported headgear taller and wider than the bodices themselves.

After all that shopping we headed back to the hotel. Laying a newly-purchased support-pillow on the bed, BIKSS had me propped over it to see if it was conducive to spankings. First he spanked over my shorts, then he had me take it off, and spanked me in my panties. I don't know why, but taking off my shorts today made me feel terribly shy. I don't usually feel this way when I'm disrobing for a spanking... perhaps it was all that recent talk of nakedness and vulnerability. 

The conclusion - the spanking was good but the pillow didn't work so well for this purpose. 

Spanking over, I showered and changed into a tank top and short skirt for dinner at an English pub where we had some awesome ribs! BIKSS approved the tiny skirt only because we're in a foreign country and there's no risk of anyone seeing me in such an eyebrow-raising outfit, and feeling adventurous, he had me go bra-less too. 

After dinner we went to Spanky's as promised. It was less sleazy than the street of girly bars we walked through last night, and seemed a lot more touristy. There's a quadrangle with an open air bar in the middle, and a live band was playing when we got there. Then on three sides there's a second floor that houses all the girly bars. We headed up the stairs and entered Spanky's. 

Mostly it was just a pair of naked girls on the stage at any one time, touching each other and dancing/moving to the music.. .and the rest who weren't performing would be milling about and entertaining customers who had requested their company. There was a little shower cublicle to the side where a girl would be lathering herself up suggestively and on occasion smoosh her ass against the clear circular wall of her "display case". That was rather amusing, I must say.

I did see an andro-looking girl who I thought was hot. BIKSS has often asked what sort of girls I find attractive, so this was a great opportunity for me to show him.While the naked and semi-naked girls gyrating in front of me didn't do anything to turn me on (except for one instance when andro girl leaned against the pole and stretched her arms up above her and threw her head back), BIKSS dipping his hand into the front of my blouse and pinching my nipple surely did. We left soon after and headed back to our hotel where we showered then hopped into bed for some of our own gyrating - and yes, Roger got his happy ending ;-)

We've Arrived

Part of last night's dinner

I seldom eat fish-with-a-face. But this was good!!

I thought it was a sex shop. I was wrong.

We've been here 17 hours and have chalked up 2 blowjobs, 2 fucks, 1 spanking and 7 hours of sleep. 

I'd say that's a good start!

Today we're going to try and squeeze in a quick swim in the hotel pool, have lunch at an Indian place, shop a little (or a lot), have dinner at a rib place, and visit a stripper bar. I've never been, so BIKSS says he'll take me - the last time he was here he went to -

and

so that's where we're going to try and head to later on. That's all for now... will put up more pics when I can.

:-D

Naked and Vulnerable

So I know I should be getting ready to head off on our vacation - which I will hop to in a minute or 10, but as I had some free time I was catching up on a few of my favourite blogs and came across Jake's Friday Adventure Idea : Naked Dinner.

I have always had a problem with being naked and observed. 

I know some people might feel uncomfortable if they were the only naked person (let's assume only two people are involved for now) and the other one was fully, or even partially, clothed. But I've thought of that, and it's not so much the difference in state of undress that gets to me, it's more the purpose of said state of undress. 

So if I were totally naked and BIKSS was fully clothed, but something was happening that involved something sexual (spankings included), or functional (like a shower, even with him watching), I would feel fine. Also, if it were my own choice for some logical reason, e.g. because I had just come from the bathroom and wanted to air-dry thoroughly, or I'd just come in from the blistering heat outdoors and stripped to nothing to cool off, I'd be good too. 

The problem arises when I have been instructed to take my clothes off. And for no other reason than to display my body for his viewing pleasure. Oh then I get totally self-conscious. This is one of the main reasons I can't do the whole striptease thing. 

Thinking about it now, being naked and kneeling/sitting at his feet would be ok too. I think perhaps because he can't see ALL of me that way. Standing up in front of him would definitely be uncomfortable though. 

Do any of you have a problem with being on display this way? I would love to be able to feel more at ease with showing myself to BIKSS, seeing as how he's such a voyeur... but I can't get over the sense of vulnerability and shame even... any thoughts?

Something I Saw on the WWW

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”

2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.” 

4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”

6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”

8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”

11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.” ( National Crime Information Center )

13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”

14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

AND THE WINNER IS….

16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”

Southern Cops Have a Way with Words

The Best Bf In the History of Time

...is one who says in answer to what I've told him I'm packing for our holiday, "That should be enough. You can buy the rest there."

Whoop! I mean, which man tells his woman to please shop more?

He also has a bag in mind (which he saw the last time he was there) that he says I can get for him in lieu of the expensive backpack I wanted to get him last week for his birthday. And since I'm a bit of a scarf-slut he says he'll pick up some for me over there where there are scarves a-plenty - I get to choose!

In the meantime, we're counting down the days to our vacation (4) and looking forward to some great food, some great shopping, and some great times together. Did I mention we'll be shopping? Together? The last time we went shopping and I talked it about HERE we seemed to have some different ideas about what the word meant, and he was adamant that women and men shop differently. So this will be a splendid time to put his theories to the test... I'll DEFINITELY post updates!

In other news my preparation (and crazy baking) for the upcoming Lunar New Year celebration is almost at the point where I can breathe easy and finally catch up on my sleep... but right now before things get any worse, I'm headed to the massage therapy place nearby to see if they can do something about my protesting neck and back!

Happy Thursday all!

Redirection

The Free Dictionary dot com provides a little thesaurus bit at the end of the definition of a word. 

Under the entry "correction" one of the definitions for which some synonyms are offered reads "the act of offering an improvement to replace a mistake; setting right".

I'll come back to that later... in the meantime, BIKSS and I had a lovely evening (it was lovely for me, anyway) to celebrate his birthday.

You should also know that yesterday we went through an episode. And by the end of last night I was weepy and needy and couldn't wait to be in my favourite spot - on his lap with my head on his chest.

We came home after dinner (and a quick lap around the new hypermart nearby), and he had me go straight into the room. When he flipped up my skirt and started spanking me I thought it was from the tension and excitement of knowing I was panty-less (at his request) during our date. 

It turns out that apparently sex wasn't his goal. It was Redirection. And now we're back on topic. 

That's what he calls it but I wonder if it's the same as correction, especially in light of the definition above. Because "setting right" seems to be what BIKSS had in mind when he went to town on my butt. Only I didn't know it. 

I was feeling horny for a while and I was geared up for a fun erotic spanking. So it DID end up being sex, or rather, some serious cock-worship. And then sex after. 

It wasn't till he was about to leave that I found out he had a different purpose in mind when he started in on my bum. You see, when I said I felt better now that I'd had a spanking (I asked for one right at the end after we had a debrief and he was done lecturing), he explained that that's why he had me present for a spanking as soon as we got home. He felt I needed some grounding which we haven't had in a while, and I had moved away from "this space" (holds hands out with palms facing each other about a foot apart) to "this space" (moves hands from out in front of him to his right instead) and that he needed me to get back to the first space. 

Sounds like correction to me. 

My man is evolving. He doesn't deny it. However, next time, I told him he should let me in on it if a spanking's not primarily meant to turn me on. (Roger didn't have a clue either... he was hard and raring to go in 2 seconds flat.) I have a sneaky feeling BIKSS wasn't quite sure exactly what transpired at that very moment either. Only that he needed to set me right. Because I needed it. 

I recognise that we're moving and growing and This Thing WE Do is also evolving and we're taking on a new element in our relationship - but it's one we're taking on together, and I'm glad it's so seamless and natural. But most of all, I'm glad we're doing so together. It feels good that despite how large portions of our lives may move at different speeds and sometimes in different directions, something - THIS PART, at least, seems to be moving us forward together at a pace BOTH of us are comfortable with.

So Many Updates, So Little Time

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A Friday Fantasy... by BIKSS

YOU

I sit on the couch and watch you move around the house, cleaning up as you go. The sunlight flooding the room occasionally makes your skirt translucent when you walk by a window, showing me the shape of your legs through the fabric. 

Your boyfriend sits beside me, his apprehension almost like an aura surrounding him. This is something you want, something he wants as well but he isn’t totally convinced that you will be able to do. Still he has come around to the idea and is agreeable to me working on you. 

You bend to pick up something below the dining table and look up at a cough from me.  Your eyes catch mine. 

“Come here,” I say quietly. 

You turn away and walk into the kitchen. I hear the sound of plates clattering in the sink. You are studiously ignoring me.  It is obvious that while you may want this, there is a part of you that still rebels. Good. You are going to put up some resistance.

I look over to your boyfriend and nod.  That is his signal to leave the room. He gets up and walks into the spare bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

You walk out of the kitchen again to finish clearing up the dining table. I walk up to you. 

You turn around and look at me. “No,” you say, quite clearly, your eyes shining. 

I step forward, into your personal space, so close you can smell the faint trace of my aftershave. I reach out and place my hand at the back of your neck. I say, in almost a whisper, “Come here,” and pull you closer.

You struggle to pull away but my hand holds you firm, my other hand moving to stroke your arm, your neck, your face.  I am so close you can feel the heat from my body. I remove my hand from the back of your neck and bring it to your throat, holding you so that you are forced to look at me. 

“I said, come here.”

I hear your breath quicken as you realize there is no way to pull away from me. My face comes close to yours. 

“You are to understand this,” I say quietly. “From this moment on, you are mine. Mine, to be taken as I desire; without complaint or resistance.  Mine to command.  Mine, to do as I please. All that you do, from this moment on, is with but one aim in mind; to please me.”

The meaning of those words seems to pull you out of your little world, and you realize for the first time that this is not a game.  Your eyes dart to where your boyfriend was sitting moments earlier but where only an empty armchair remains. You understand that you are alone.

“Remember, you have a safeword. Use it if you require it,” I say, reminding you of the agreement. You nod your head in understanding.

“You will be silent throughout this evening, even when I ask you a question. The only sounds I will permit are moans of pleasure. Do you understand?”

You start to answer, then remember my instructions, and nod your head again.

“Good.” I smile and kiss you on the cheek. 

“Now, take off your blouse and bra,” I command, stepping back slightly to give you space. “Slowly.”

You hesitate slightly, looking around, as if hoping your boyfriend will come riding in on a white charger and save you. After a while, you realize this is not going to happen and you start to unbutton your blouse. It comes off and you place it on an armchair beside you. The bra comes off next and you are standing before me, topless, your nipples surprisingly perky. 

You cross your arms over your breasts, a nipple peeking through the fingers of one hand. You avert your gaze, looking down on the ground. I come close to you; so close I can feel the rise and fall of your chest. My hands move back to stroking your neck and shoulders, now bare of cloth. I take hold of your chin and turn your face so you look me directly in the face. 

“You’re wet, aren’t you? Dripping probably,” I say, looking at you, daring you to look away. I know what the answer will be be because you have started to furtively lean into my hands such that the pressure of my hands on your skin is increased. 

“I’m not,” you say softly, your eyes darting away, finally averted from my gaze. 

A sharp smack across your ass tells you not to speak again and a smile crosses my face. “I say you are, and I’ll prove it,” I state, moving back a step and taking hold of your right hand. “Take my hand, now. Put it between your legs. I want to feel your pussy.”

I place my hand on your stomach, feeling the rise and fall of your breathing. 

“Now, spread your legs!” 

Your legs part and you slide my hand down slowly between them, where wet thighs await me, your juices seeping through the soaked fabric of your panties.

 “Good girl, I expected nothing less,” I say, smiling. “Now get in the room and take everything else off.”

You nod without a word and head into the bedroom.

“Leave the door open,” I tell you as you enter. “I want to see you strip.”

Your skirt falls to the floor and you slowly, as if teasing me, slide your panties down your legs, giving me a glimpse of your pussy between your slightly parted thighs. I walk into the bedroom and pull you to me, kissing you hard on the lips, my tongue searching for yours. 

“Now take my clothes off and get on your knees like a good girl,” I say pulling away from you.

You unbutton my shirt and slide it off my shoulders. Kneeling, you undo my belt and throw it to the side. My  pants are last, my cock hard as it springs from its restraints. You look up at me, awaiting instructions. 

“Would you like Master’s cock in your mouth? Would you like to feel him on your tongue? Taste him?” You nod.  “You know what to do,” I say , smiling at you,  as I push your head down and  lower your head for you to take my cock in your mouth. I pull you down on my cock, almost gagging you. “Take it all in sweet, take it ALL in.”

You hear my moans as you go to work on my cock, your tongue sliding along the shaft. You grab hold of it and stroke it slowly, in the same rhythm as your head on my cock. 

“Do you want my cock? Do you like it in your mouth?” 

“Hmmph,” you reply., continuing to work on my cock. 

“Be a good girl and I’ll fuck you if I think you deserve it,” I say.

I am rewarded with a quick glance up from below and you bob down harder on my cock. As much as I obviously like what you’re doing with your mouth I tell you, “Get on the bed and lie on your front."

You do so and I watch as you lie down. I lie beside you and caress your ass cheeks, spreading them as my fingers explore the crevice leading to your pussy. You hear a short grunt as my finger encounters a distinct wetness from between your legs. 

“Spread your legs,” I say.  

I slide one finger in as your legs spread apart, hearing you breathe deeply as my finger enters you. “Hmm, nice and wet. You’ve been waiting for this haven’t you? How long have you been waiting to have  my cock in you? Do you dream about it?”

I pull my finger out and insert my thumb, my palm cupping your pubis. You push your self down on my hand as a moan escapes your lips.  My thumb curls to stroke the inner wall of your pussy, making you squirm. 

“Does that feel good?” I ask and get an answer as you push yourself down onto my hand again, harder this time. I watch as you bury your face into the pillow to smother the groans of pleasure threatening to escape your closed lips. You breathe as deeply as you can to calm yourself but continue to push yourself against my hand, smearing your juices over my palm. 

I reach up with my free hand and grab your hair, pulling your head up. This time, a sigh does escape your lips and you turn to try to look at me. I can see you biting your lip, fighting to remain silent for me. I’m sure you can see the smile on my face. 

I slide my thumb out of your pussy and start to smack the back of your thighs gently. I increase the tempo slowly as the intensity increases as well.  As I release you hair, you bury your head into the pillow again. The smacking continues as I spank one cheek and then the other, watching you squirm as each smack lands. I alternate my smacks so neither cheek feels left out, heating up the soft flesh of both cheeks. Suddenly I stop and thrust my hand between your legs, fingers flat against your pussy.

“Good girl, you’re ready for me aren’t you,” I say quietly and you nod into the pillow.

I get up from beside you and you feel the whole weight of me on your body, my cock nestling between your ass cheeks.  “I want you to reach out above your head and reach out to each corner of the bed. Leave your arms outstretched while I fuck you. Not a sound shall be heard.”

I straddle you and I lift your ass off the bed. I slip two fingers into your pussy from below, spreading your lips, making sure you’re all wet and waiting for me. I slide them out, seeing them shiny with your wetness.

You feel the tip of my cock at the entrance to your pussy.   I let out a soft grunt as my cock slips into the tight entrance. 

I hold your ass tight, fingers digging into your flesh as I pound into you. You grunt softly as you feel each thrust, each stroke a reminder to you that you are owned. As I pump, you push your face deeper into the pillow, groans escaping your lips. Almost animal-like, your groans make me pump you harder. Your hands squeeze the bed sheet as you pull at the corners.

I reach forward and grab hold of your face, slipping two fingers into your mouth, pulling your face to the side. Your tongue playing with my fingers, licking them as your mouth closes around them as you suck them in. 

“I’m done fucking you” I say softly, “Keep your hands behind you. Take me in your mouth now and suck me off and lick me clean like the slut you are. MY slut.”

I grab your head and pull you to me, pushing my cock into your mouth with no hesitation. Your mouth is welcoming and your tongue begins to swirl around the head of my cock. My handhold tightens on your hair and pulls your head down, establishing a rhythm.

“Pinch your nipples,” I say, reaching down to grasp a breast. “This one.”

You reach for your breast and start to pull on your nipple, pinching and pulling, moaning onto my cock as you do. You continue to bob on my cock until you feel me swelling in you, until my body tenses and you feel the first spurts of cum hit the back of your mouth but I continue to pump into your mouth. You swallow all that I unload, almost gagging. You slide my cock out of your mouth and lick me clean, the remnants of my cum shiny on the tip of my cock waiting for you.

I turn and signal to the camera in the corner of the room. The door opens and your boyfriend comes in, naked and ready to take his turn. 

Your eyes are closed as you feel his hands on you and hear his voice; his words, “Good girl. MY girl.”